A/N: I'm so sorry it's been so long. I got kicked out of my house in August, and I think I finally got myself on stable ground again, financially and mentally. Anyway, the story is fully written, so I'm not abandoning it, it just takes me a while to update it when I can't find my computer charger in the rest of my earthly belongings. Found it, though, so here goes! Chapter 7, everyone! Thanks for sticking with me, don't forget to review!


Dean tossed and turned and could not fall asleep all night. Bobby's words kept replaying in his head like a living nightmare.

"It's like the entire town has a bad aftertaste after seeing two fucking faggots in it."

He could feel a phantom hand tousling his hair to reassure him, and he saw Sammy's wide, worried eyes. The same eyes that were now peeking into his room.

"Dee?" Sammy whispered.

Dean did not even bother answering; he just rolled over and opened his arms. Sammy catapulted into them and burrowed his face into Dean's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Sammy?" he asked, rubbing the kid's shoulder soothingly and pressing a light, manly kiss to the top of his head.

In lieu of an answer, Sammy wrapped his arms around Dean and held on tighter.

Dean sighed, recognizing this behavior, and began gently rocking back and forth, rubbing Sammy's shoulder and softly crooning "Hey Jude" in a barely audible sleepy tone.

Sammy's breathing hitched, and the next thing he knew, there were floods of tears soaking the front of his shirt, so he wrapped his arms around his brother comfortingly, and switched the song from the Beatles to a better song for the mood. It hurt sometimes to remember that Sammy had no clue why Dean found that song so soothing. Metallica worked for Sam, though, so he half-sang, half-hummed through the same verse and chorus over and over.

Eventually, the flood began to let up, and Dean was left with a shaking, occasionally whimpering mess in his arms. He sat up slowly and gently lifted Sam onto his lap. Sam immediately went spider monkey, wrapping himself around Dean as far as he could and pressing so close that they couldn't have fit a piece of paper between them.

The only part that worried Dean was that he was hiding his face the whole time.

"Hey there, Sammy," he muttered gently, continuing to rock. "Look at me, buddy. Come one, just pick your head up. I'm worried about you, kid. I want to make sure you're okay. Come on, Sammy."

Sam shook his head with an anxious whimper. He buried his face deeper into Dean's t shirt and shook even harder.

Dean frowned and tightened his hold on his baby brother. "Hey, Sammy? Listen to me, alright. I don't know what's going on in that gigantic, mega smart head of yours, but you need to remember that I'm never going to leave you, okay? No matter what happens, I'll be right here. There is absolutely nothing in the whole world that could make you want to like you any less, and you could never ever do anything to make me angry enough to leave you. There is nothing in the entire world, the entire universe, or all of time that would I put in front of you."

Sammy shifted. "But I don't want you to not be happy, Dean," he whispered hoarsely, still hiding his face.

"As long as you are safe, I'll be happy, Sam," Dean assured him, wondering where in the world all of this was coming from. "I promise. You're all that matters."

Sam sniffed and shifted uncomfortably, but he didn't loosed his hold, so neither did dean. Dean rested his head on top of Sam's and sighed deeply. "What is it, Squirt?"

"What if Bobby finds out about Cas and we can't live here anymore?" Sam whispered hesitantly, pulling back in on himself as soon as he finished speaking.

Dean froze. "What are you talking about, Kid?"

"When I got home from school, you were still at work, and Bobby was complaining, and I don't think he wants any gay people around him, Dee. It scared me. You know that you'd leave me here in an instant if it came down to it, and I don't want to lose you, but," he trailed off, picking absently at a loose thread.

Dean pulled Sammy in closer instinctively as he struggled to say the words that he knew were true. "You don't want to leave. Course you don't. First real home you've had, you never want to lose it, right? That's what normal is supposed to feel like, Squirt. Congrats, you just achieved your lifelong dream."

Sam burrowed closer. "And when Bobby finds out? I don't want to lose you and I don't want to leave, and I don't know what to do, Dee. I want you to stay here and both of us to be happy for once!"

"If Bobby really feels the way he said, then he'll never find out," Dean promised, ignoring the ache in his chest as he spoke. "If Cas has a problem with that, we can't be together. It's just that simple, Sammy. I told you I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize you being safe, and if this is a safe place for you, I'll make sure that you stay forever if that's what you want!"

"Not just me, Dean," Sammy pleaded immediately, pulling back and looking up at Dean with big, soulful eyes. "Please?"

Dean sighed and pushed back the overwhelming ache in his heart as he met his brother's gaze. "I promise. I'll make sure that I can stay with you too. I'm not leaving, Sammy. I promise I won't leave you."

"Ever?" Half of him wanted Sam to hide his face again because the pure desperation on his baby brother's face, hardly concealing the terror beneath it, was too much to look into. He could never say that, though, so he steeled himself and made a promise that he hoped he'd never regret.

"Ever. It's just you and me, baby boy." He managed a half grin, and was relieved to see Sam's face light up ever so subtly in response.

"Now come on, let's get some sleep," he patted the mattress beside him, and Sam immediately complied, rolling off of him and resting his head on the pillow, although he still didn't let go.

Dean realized he was truly exhausted, and he had a feeling that with his brother safe and sound beside him, he would never have the nightmares that normally kept him up. He stretched out, one arm flung loosely around Sam in a caring fashion.

"Going to sleep, buddy?" he asked, looking into Sam's wide open eyes.

Sam obediently drooped his eye lids and let out a long breath. "Dean? Can you tell me a story?" he begged. Usually, Dean cursed their father excessively and at length for damaging his baby brother's emotional state, but every once in a while, it wasn't so bad that Sammy acted more like a four year old than a fourteen year old. For one thing, it made him easier to take care of when he wasn't insisting that "I'm practically a grown man, Dean. I can walk myself to school, thank you very much." So despite wishing they'd never had to experience the trauma, Dean didn't begrudge these moments at all.

He smiled softly. "Yes, my little high schooler, I will tell you a story. Let me guess. Pirates?"

Sam giggled softly. "Yes, please?"

Dean used his free hand to stroke Sam's longish hair. "Alright, then. Since you asked for it."

He launched into a magnificent story about how there were these two brothers, and they were pirates, and they always took care of each other. They sailed the high seas and spoke all sorts of pirate talk, but they never, ever hurt anybody. In fact, they earned their living by charging other ships for letting them protect their cargo or passengers. One day, the older pirate met a beautiful ship captain, and he never wanted to lose sight of him, so he strayed away from their normal course and continued following the other ship. The younger brother didn't worry, because he knew that the older, wiser brother (Dean "oof"-ed as Sam elbowed him in the ribs sleepily) would always steer him right and would never lead him into danger. When they finally caught up to the other ship, the captain said that he had been watching the pirate too, and he had been hoping that they would catch him. The pirates left their ship for the first time in forever, and they climbed ashore with the beautiful captain who taught them how to make an honest living. One day, the older pirate asked the captain to marry him, and when he said yes, they lived happily ever after.

"The younger pirate too?" Sam drawled, mostly asleep.

"Yep, buddy, the younger pirate too. Sweet dreams, bitch."

Sam's lips moved, but his (arguably) appropriate response never made it out before he was sound asleep.

His own nightmares banished, Dean followed him easily.


D: we need 2 talk. now.

C: b there in 5.

Dean made his way to the transformer, anxiety like lead in his shoes.

"Emergency?" Cas asked.

Dean shook his head.

"Time crunch?"

"No more than usual."

"Come here, then," Cas hopped up on the transformer and held his arm out. Dean willingly slipped up next to him and curled against his side.

"What's up, babe?" Cas asked, addressing the obvious tension in his partner.

"So you know how I'm eighteen now?" Dean started hesitantly.

Cas grinned. "Oh, yeah!"

Dean playfully shoved him. "That isn't what I meant!" That had been great, of course, once it actually happened. Dean's anxiety had stopped them a few times, but Cas had taken care of him every time, and when he was ready, Cas made it perfect for him. And then did it again and again. At this point, they slept in the same bed almost every night.

"What did you mean, then?" Cas asked, sobering slightly.

"Well, if I'm a legal adult, then my uncle doesn't have any legal obligations to support me. Hypothetically speaking," Dean trailed off, the lump in his throat growing.

Cas hurried to interject, "He wouldn't kick you out, babe! Besides, you could always come stay with us! Gabe and Meg wouldn't mind splitting the rent four ways, and you wouldn't even need an extra bedroom, so don't worry about anything!"

Dean sighed. "Thanks for that," he said, kissing Cas's collarbone. "I just couldn't stay here if he wouldn't let me see Sammy."

"Why wouldn't he let you see your brother, Dean?"

"I might corrupt him, Cas," Dean muttered bitterly. "I might turn him gay if he hangs out around me. Forget that when he was actually worried that I would hate him for being straight, I supported him completely and learned how to talk about girls." Both boys smiled at that memory, then Dean continued. "No, if he ever found out about me or us, I would be out on my ass in seconds! You don't know the things he says!"

Cas frowned. "Why don't I know the things he says? You tell me everything else, and this is obviously hurting you. Why are you holding it in?"

Dean shifted. "He's usually talking about you," he admitted in a low voice. "Even when I try to tell him that I don't like hearing him talking about my friends like that, he just says that if you didn't want people to judge your lifestyle, you shouldn't have chosen it. I tried to argue that it wasn't exactly your choice, and he called bullshit. Look, it isn't just me. Sammy's getting worried, and I can't keep giving him empty promises that I will never, ever desert him if there's actually a substantial, reasonable doubt. I just don't know what to do, Cas! I can't take Sammy away from there because it's the only stable home he's ever known. I can't leave you because you're my everything, as long as Sammy is good. And I can't tell my uncle. But the more we keep this secret, the more likely he is to hear about it, and I'm just terrified, and I don't know what to do, and I really just want you to kiss me and tell me that I'm all worked up over nothing. Can you please just do that?"

Cas curled his arm around Dean's shoulders protectively. "As much as I'd love to, you were right. We need to talk about this."

Dean sighed and sat up straight, shrugging Cas's arm off. "Sorry, if we're talking, I need to think clearly," he explained.

Cas nodded. "I understand, Dean."

"Where do you want to start?"

Cas thought for a minute. "Okay, well, what kinds of things is your uncle saying?"

Dean sighed again. "He talks about how you're incapable of a monogamous relationship, and he attributes it to the fact that you also like guys."

"Well you know that that isn't true," Cas answered immediately. "Yes, I'm pansexual; yes, in the past, I have had multiple relationships at the same time, and all of my partners were aware. However, that was my choice, just like you are my choice. And you mean so much more to me than any of the others. You know that, right? I've never been in a relationship like this before."

Dean felt a soft smile play around his lips. "Yeah, I know that," he said gently. "It's just, I have to wonder, you know, if he knew that I was dating you, how many times would he bring up your past and throw it in my face and tell me that I couldn't trust you? I trust you with my life. Hell, I'd trust you with Sam's life, but I don't know if I could handle him constantly saying things like that, you know?"

Cas nodded seriously. "With all due respect to your uncle, Dean, this is our relationship. What we choose to do with it, as long as both partners are willing and safe, is our business, not his. Right?"

"Yeah, I know that," Dean agreed readily. "And on our end, there isn't an issue with any of that, at least that I know of."

Cas shook his head. "I haven't had any problems either, and I trust you to tell me if you have any."

"I do the same. Still, I'm just worried about what might happen, okay? I know it's the same kind of irrational anxiety that Crowley's been talking about, but I can't shake it."

"What about it worries you, babe?" Cas asked gently.

Dean shook his head, his eyes darting around wildly, and his breathing started speeding up. Cas couldn't help it; he reached over and placed his hand on Dean's knee, rubbing his leg gently until Dean began to calm down. He was about to pull his hand back when Dean's hand reached out and held it there. He obeyed the unspoken request and continued rubbing Dean's leg while he spoke.

"I came out to my dad when I was thirteen," Dean began. At Cas's questioning look, he shrugged his shoulders. "He was mad at Sammy, and I had to distract him."

"Honey," Cas murmured, pained.

Dean shook his head. "It was a long time ago. That was the time he broke my jaw slamming me into the carpet."

"How did you explain that one away?"

"Skateboarding," Dean answered offhandedly. "It was one my most believable excuses, actually." He trailed off, trying not to relive the memory.

"Dean?" Cas prodded.

Dean sighed. "It's just, I love Bobby, and I know that he is nothing like John, but they've said a lot of the same things, you know? They both rant about how the gay lifestyle is a taint on society and the reason the world has so many problems. They both frown and go on about how if any son of theirs thinks he can get away with that level of disrespect, they'd better think twice. They both think it's a personal attack on their character to have a gay kid. And you've never seen how angry Bobby can get when his character is questioned. Up until now, he's only thrown out overly nosy and obviously disapproving social workers, but he gets so angry, Cas."

"He would never lift a finger against you, Dean."

"Can you promise that?" Dean demanded. "More importantly, can you promise that if all he does is kick me out, but he's outraged and Sammy goes over to calm him down or to look for some kind of reassurance, he won't hurt my brother?"

Cas frowned, setting aside filling away the "More importantly" for later. Now was not the time to address Dean's self-esteem issues, but he wanted Dean to learn to love himself too. For now, he shook his head, sadly, dreading the direction this conversation was going.

"I can't promise that, Dean, but let me ask you this. If you're worried about Bobby hurting you or your brother, is that really the safest environment for Sam?"

"He likes it here, Cas," Dean answered brokenly.

Cas sighed. "Dean, I don't know what to tell you, okay? I know that going on like this is too stressful for you, though, so we need to do something." Dean nodded, looking miserable, and Cas's heart broke a little. He lifted his free arm around Dean's shoulders again, pulling him close, and Dean didn't pull away this time."

"What if you talk to Gabriel?" Cas suggested.

"Talk about what?" Dean asked.

"Well, he knows about us already, and he also knows Bobby pretty well. Maybe you could ask Gabriel if he thinks it would be a good idea to come out to your uncle."

"Then what?" Dean asked with trepidation.

Cas sighed deeply, but he knew what he had to say. "Your and Sam's safety is my top priority, Dean. This relationship means everything to me, but it won't even be possible if you aren't safe. If Gabriel doesn't think your uncle will take it well, I'll step back so you don't have to carry this relationship around. If Gabriel thinks your uncle will take it well but you decide that he won't, I'll step back. If you decide to tell your uncle, I would love the chance to be your boyfriend in public."

Dean thought it over and decided that he could handle it. "I can talk to Gabriel," he agreed. "How will you know, though?"

"When do you want to talk to Gabe?"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow," Dean promised. "If I wait any longer, I'll lose all my courage, and I'll never do any of it."

"Then tomorrow night, our usual time, I'll come out to the transformer. If you aren't going to talk to your uncle, don't come, and I'll know. If he takes it well, meet me here. If he doesn't, bring Sam. We can put both of you up for long enough for you to talk to Crowley about whether or not you could get custody of Sam."

Dean nodded, leaning farther into the comfort of his boyfriend as he agreed to what could very well destroy both of their lives.

"And if you don't tell him," Cas continued, his voice a little unsteady, "but you still want this to work, meet me here same time, same place, three years from tomorrow."

Dean spontaneously wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and held on tight, unbidden tears streaming down his face. Cas valiantly tried to hold out, but he too succumbed to the emotion of the moment, and for a while, all they did was hold onto each other.

"I don't want to say goodbye," Dean gasped out between shaking sobs, and Cas wasn't in much better shape.

Eventually, Cas tipped Dean's head up and kissed him fervently, desperately. His hands traced every inch of Dean's face, trying to memorize it. Dean just held on for dear life, his knuckles going white where he was clutching Cas's shirt.

But they could only put it off so long.

With a final kiss, Cas stood up from the transformer. He had a sinking feeling that he would never see his boyfriend again, but he didn't say so. Instead, he pasted a smile on his face and looked over to see Dean doing the same.

They clasped each other's hands briefly, smiling brightly, because they knew that was how the other one wanted to remember them.

"Goodbye, beautiful," Cas whispered.

"Goodbye, love," Dean returned in same.

Then it was over, another chapter closed, and as they walked away from each other, they both knew that it would never be the same again.