The Seduction Of Uchiha Itachi

The Sasuke-abuse returns! I got a request for more Akatsuki members, so whoever asked for that (I'm sorry, my memory isn't that good) please be notified that it's been done. And, person who asked me not to make Itachi fall in love with his brother, I can't do that. It wouldn't very well be Uchihacest then, would it?

(But I will do this much for anyone who is against this holy matrimony; it'll be a while before there is some real action. Like a kiss.)

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Chapter Six: Asking Uchiha Itachi

"Fabio!" Itachi asked, shocked. The shadowy figure growled and stepped into the light.

"NO! It's Hidan!" Hidan said. Itachi's face fell and he leaned back into the pillows.

"Oh. Well, what do you want?" Itachi asked coldly, mentally screaming in anger because it wasn't really Fabio. Hidan just shrugged and sat on the futon next to Itachi.

"Well, you did make a lot of noise when you stormed out of the hideout. I guess I was just curious about what was going on. I didn't expect that you and your little bro were going out, though." Hidan said, grinning. Itachi scoffed haughtily.

"We're not going out! My little brother has it stuck in his head that he loves me more than a brother should, and I'm just giving him a chance because I hate to see him so distressed. He's still my brother, no matter what." Itachi said, smirking almost. Hidan looked thoughtful as he leaned against Itachi's side.

"So, even if he's accidentally brutally injured, he'll still be your little brother?" He asked. Itachi moved away from him and brought the covers over his head.

"You know what? Go away." He muttered from the covers. Hidan stood up and walked out into the sitting room where everyone was lounging. He saw Sasori sleeping on the couch, next to Tobi, who was twitching and mumbling "Tobi is a good boy…" in his sleep.

"Why does Sasori look so high?" Hidan asked himself as he got a good look at his old cohort. "And why is he even alive?"

He immediately recognized the telltale hairstyle of Itachi's younger brother. Hidan came up behind him and tapped his shoulder.

"Hey there." He greeted. Sasuke turned around and his eyes widened considerably.

"Oh my God- Fabio!" Sasuke sputtered, shocked. Hidan rubbed his temple.

"No. Not Fabio. I'm Hidan!" Hidan huffed angrily. Sasuke immediately stopped swooning and went back into ultra-cool mode. In a skirt.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked coldly. Hidan laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Man, you and your bro' are too alike! I mean, he said the same thing to me!" Hidan chuckled deeply. And then abruptly stopped, leaning down to face Sasuke.

"Y'know, Itachi's bro', you're actually pretty damn hot. How about you give up on that mean brother of yours and come hang out with a real man?" Hidan whispered huskily into Sasuke's ear.

"How about… No?" Sasuke retorted as he pushed Hidan away and walked towards the medicine cabinet.

Only to be blocked by Hidan's arm.

"C'mon man, I'll so make it worth your while…" Hidan continued to purr. Sasuke sighed and went under the attempted wall. Hidan, disgruntled at how Sasuke was resisting his charms, turned around and faced Sasuke.

"Dude, why aren't you all up on me yet? I'm giving you a chance for some male companionship!" Hidan whined. Sasuke rolled his eyes and tapped Hidan's chest.

"Look Fabio," "Hidan!" "Right, Hidan. I'm in love with only one person right now, and I'm not gonna stop until I gain his heart. Understood?" Sasuke asked. Hidan smiled at him and patted his arm.

"You're a good person Itachi's bro', a very good person. I'll help you in your little hell-binding quest." Hidan said, grinning. Sasuke didn't smile back at him but narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"What's your natural hair color?" Sasuke asked. Hidan ran his fingers through his hair.

"Gray. Why?"

"No reason. You can help." Sasuke said and began walking down the hall with Itachi's medicine.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Hidan asked. Sasuke gave him an 'Are you stupid?' look and shrugged.

"The same thing we do every night. Try and gain Itachi's heart!" Sasuke proclaimed and walked a little bit faster.

"So, what exactly is the plan though?" Hidan said. Sasuke slowed down a bit before coming to a complete halt.

"I don't know." Sasuke replied sullenly. Hidan ruffled his hair good-naturedly.

"Try asking him on a date!" Hidan suggested. Sasuke thought about it for a moment.

"Okay. I'll try that." And Sasuke went on to Itachi's room. Hidan happily followed him, until the point where Sasuke's mental and physical healthiness was past its limit.

"Itachi's bro'! Watch out!" Hidan yelled in warning, but it was too late as Sasuke tripped over Naruto's sprawled body in his hallway. The medicine flailed everywhere, but that wasn't much of a worry as Hidan caught them all.

Sasuke, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky as the inanimate objects. He attempted to rise, but his ankle was twisted at an impossible angle. Hidan winced and poked at the muscle. Sasuke twitched in pain and Naruto looked towards him.

"Hey Sasuke! Are you okay? And, who's that next to you?" Naruto asked, poking at Deidara's sleeping body. Hidan saw this as the perfect chance to introduce himself and let him be seen to Naruto.

"I am called-" He began, but was immediately interrupted by Naruto's surprised shout of:

"Fabio!" This caused Deidara to snap awake.

"Fabio, un?" And the neighbors looked outside.

"Fabio?" And the neighbor's neighbors looked outside.

"Fabio? Where!" And the entire village woke up spontaneously saying:

"FABIO?"

And Hidan snapped.

"I AM NOT FABIO! I AM HIDAN! NOT FABIO! STOP FUCKING CALLING ME FABIO!" Hidan screamed. The entire village then went "Oh, that's okay then." And went back to sleep. So did Deidara and Naruto.

Hidan growled frustrated-like. Sasuke just snapped his ankle back into place and limped into Itachi's room. Itachi, who was simply reading his old stash of yaoi manga, looked at the pain-ridden Sasuke and the medicine carrying Hidan.

"I don't want to know, do I?" Itachi asked with a bored voice. Sasuke shook his head.

"Definitely not." And then Sasuke looked into Itachi's eyes.

"Itachi. Will you go on a date with me?" Sasuke asked bluntly. Hidan slapped himself in a frustrated way, seeing as how Sasuke's tact was at an extreme low.

"You don't do that! You're supposed to nurse him back to health and catch him off guard and then ask him on a date! He's not gonna answer now!" Hidan whined irritably. Itachi, who wasn't even caring at the moment, looked at Sasuke and shrugged.

"Sure, I'll try that."

End Chapter

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Well. That's over with. In case anyone didn't know, Hidan is one of the recently revealed Akatsuki members, and he looks like Fabio, that male model dude. In the next chapter: Something happens. And see? The Sasuke-abuse came back! And I didn't mess up his face! Ha! And someone said that by the end of this story Tobi and Sasuke would be dead.

They won't die. They'll just be close.