Hello all! I am so sorry for not updating in so long, i got a huge case of writer's block... and i went on holiday before i got past the block to finish the chapter. I'm going away again in a few days, so I'll have to see how much inspiration I get as to whether you get another chapter before then. If not, I won't be updating for the next few weeks (probably two). Really sorry about that :(
I have made a minor adjustment to the previous chapter- it's weird that Gran wants to be called Gran by non-family so she's called Winifred (her real name- it took me ages to find it out!)
I also have a proposition for you, see the end of the chapter...
P.S. Sorry about the long into. Because of before-mentioned block, this chapter is less than satisfactory and I will probably go back and edit it when I'm in a more writey-ey mood- I need to get past this chapter and carry on with the story rather than getting bogged down and spending even longer on this one. Also, not action-heavy, lots of emotional stuff though, and a nice bit I'm sure you've been waiting for at the end...
Chapter 7
After an awesome afternoon and evening spent with Lillian, catching up and eating pizza, I returned late, my body aching a little from withdrawals. When I saw him, my feet sped up, without my permission, and I walked swiftly towards Luc, who gently took my hand in his own. I gave a sigh of relief at the disappearance of my withdrawals and the absence of the ache that I never wanted to feel again, after having experienced it for a week straight.
We went straight to his room, but, instead of crashing, we stayed up talking.
"So, when I was attacked, why were you chasing Marcus in the first place?" I asked him, frowning.
"Well, part of the reason Maggie and Caleb came to England early was that they had heard reports that Marcus was around. My uncle, Philippe, is a council member and offered for Maggie and Caleb to stay here, because he knows it would drive them mad to have to stay at the palace, and…"
"Palace?" I interrupted.
"Yes, that's where the Reunification happens," he told me. "Well, I offered to come and stay with them to improve my English and to have a break from… home.
"We went bowling, and Maggie just saw Marcus. I guess he found out where the Visionary was staying and that's why he was there. We were chasing him and he was running away, then he grabbed you. He knew we'd do anything to protect a human."
I frowned, thinking. Why would Marcus and Sikes, whoever that was, attack me in an echoling, not Maggie or Caleb or even Luc?
"Because he's afraid of Maggie and, by default, Caleb because he's her Significant." Luc replied to my inner musings. "I guess he's wary of all Aces since he's not supposed to be one any more, so he went for you, the human, instead of me." I nodded. That made sense.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up to see a text from mum, asking how things were. I rested my head on Luc's shoulder as we sat on the bed and I texted back, telling her everything was fine. I felt a slight tug and saw Luc playing with a strand of my hair. I raised an eyebrow and tousled his dark hair back. Smiling at me, he dived at me and tickled me in the only place I was ticklish, my side. How did he even know that? I laughed and tried tickling him back. Turned out, he was much more ticklish than me and he yelped loudly before attacking me again. I launched a counter-attack, but stopped suddenly. My chest gave a jolt and my mind flickered in recognition. I had seen this before- it was one of the visions I had had when I touched Luc, in the rain. I looked at Luc in amazement and he raised his eyebrows, seeing in my mind what I had realised. Tentatively, I touched his mind and saw that he had seen different visions to me that day.
"The imprint only shows you what you can handle. Mine are… a bit further down the line." He told me softly.
The familiar rebellious streak rose in me, telling me that I shouldn't be forced into the future with Luc, but I pushed it down with reason. I had chosen- I chose Luc. If there was a future that was set, anything I did to try and avoid it would still lead to the same conclusion, so I would act as if the future didn't exist. I could still make my own decisions. And who knows, the future could change. But I wasn't sure I wanted it to, at this point. Luc watched my inner turmoil without comment, but had a concerned expression on his face. It was the best thing he could have done. Luc seemed to be perfect, always knowing what to do when I… didn't.
"No." Luc spoke firmly. "I am not perfect. Not even nearly. I… know that you saw there was something I was keeping from you- something about my past. I didn't want to… put you off, or make you scared of me, especially since we've only properly known each two days." He sighed. "I guess I shouldn't have kept it from you."
"No!" I interrupted again. "Just because we're in each other's heads it doesn't mean that we have to tell each other every single private thought and fear straight away. You tell me when you want to- or not at all if you want. I respect your privacy- well, as much as I can when I'm kind of in your head a lot," I amended.
"I'm not going to tell you you're perfect," he told me seriously, "because no-one is. Everyone has flaws. But I will tell you this- you are right for me. You always know what to say to me, what to do with me, and you make me the best person I can be." Hey, wasn't that my line? "And that was very, very cheesy. I know you don't like cheese, except on pizza, so I'm going to stop with the emotional crap." His accent got stronger as he spoke the last words and I knew he was upset. He thought he had annoyed me. Why would he think that?
"I will tell you what I was hiding, and before you say anything," he anticipated my interruption and held a hand up, "you're not forcing me. I want to tell you." I said nothing, just watched him for a sign that he was lying or reluctant to tell me. He wasn't lying- he really did want to tell me.
"Okay," I told him.
"I have always had… a difficult relationship with my family- my wider family included. There have been 4 years of my life that I haven't told you about. When I was twelve, I became…" He winced and changed the sentence.
"I thought my family was crazy, I thought they were part of some crazy cult; they were extreme and kind of… full on. I wanted out- out of their expectations, their hope that I would imprint and help the clan through the loss of imprints. It was a mixture of annoyance at them in general, but also of their attitude, that it would be the younger ones that would sort out the mess that they had created. At least, that was the way I thought of it. And there was my grandfather. He wasn't the Champion- the leader- of our Clan, but he might as well have been. He controlled everyone. He was… not a nice man. He thought that since we had abilities and imprints, we were better than all the rest of mankind and should be the 'dominant species', although he never put it like that. He always hated the way I was different from everyone else in the Clan, and tried to teach me, to… how do you say it… take me 'under his wing'. His ability helped him- he manipulated people's emotions. But he never could control me, and I suffered for it, grandpère manipulating my family into believing what he was doing was good. You do not want to know what happened 'under his wing'…
"Since I couldn't expose grandpère as everyone believed him to be a saint, I vented my anger in another way. I got in with some bad people… did some things I am not proud of. After two years, I left. I ran away for two years… I was so angry then. There were only three things I never did, where I never crossed the line: one, I never drank- Aces can't drink, or we get really ill. Two, I never slept around. I may have had a lot of anger, but I wasn't that kind of guy. And three, I never did drugs. Again, I wasn't completely out of my mind. When I came back, my grandfather had died. My family never pried into what happened for the two years I ran away, but they accepted me and forgave me for running, when I should have been trying to stay, to help fight against the terrible things that were happening…"
There, he choked up, and couldn't carry on. Lost for words, I swallowed. What could I say to his confession of abuse and rebellion? He held his head in his hands, his fingers gripping his thick hair, elbows resting on his thighs. I had no words, so I moved closer and gripped his shoulders, not exactly hugging, but showing my support. I hoped he knew what I was trying to say. He spoke again, his head still in his hands, hair obscuring his eyes.
"When I came back, two years ago, my family were finally throwing off the shackles that grandpère had bound them with. Ever since, I have been trying to repay their kindness and forgiveness- by forgiving them for all those years under grandpère, where they never spoke against him, but I fail time and time again. I had too much anger. I have too much anger and frustration and I cannot be patient with my family… my people. They still put too much expectation on me, on all of us- the younger generation. I find it so hard to forgive them and I know that I should- after all, they are my family…
"So now you know who I really am. And I know that you probably hate me right now, and I wouldn't be surprised if you did, after all, I hate myself, but I couldn't keep it secret. No mask will hide the holes grandpère left in me, especially if the one I am trying to hide from is in my head…" I cut short his outburst with a hard thought.
Stop.
His mouth closed, but his mask remained off, his broken insides revealed to me for the first time. Yes, he had seemed quiet and brooding before I knew him, but until he started telling me about his life, I hadn't noticed anything 'broken' about him. Well, maybe that wasn't exactly true… sure we had talked a lot, but I guess I had noticed he was hiding something about his character, somewhere in my subconscious. I had to sort my mind out, away from Luc. I got up and walked away from the bed. His words followed me out the door.
Remember what I told you before. It hasn't, and won't, change.
I walked quickly, increasing my pace until I was running through the huge house, not realising I was in my PJs, until I reached the garden, where the clear sky and moonless night showed me countless hundreds of stars. The sights calmed me, as it had every time I got annoyed. Whatever I did, whatever anyone did, the stars kept shining. I tried to think about Luc rationally, ignoring my body's protests at me leaving him upset. How could we have a relationship that started with lies? He had shown me a mask. We had barely known each other two days and I was already sleeping in the same bed as him. My thoughts whirled, and I took a deep breath, forcing everything away but the sight of the stars, calmly twinkling above.
Why had I run? He had taken down his defences and shown me the real him, and I had run away. No-one was perfect. He'd had to keep his disguise on for so many years that it took him a while to trust anyone enough to remove it. He barely knew me, but he trusted me enough to take it off. And I had run away. Not because I hated who he had shown himself to be- quite the opposite. It was simply because he hadn't trusted me before. It seemed stupid to me now, selfish. I was selfish. I ran inside, the stars forgotten.
I saw in his mind that Luc was in the same position, head in hands. I remembered his last words- remember what I told you before- and realised what he had meant. He meant what he had said right at the beginning. I will wait. I burst into the room, out of breath from my run, but managed to gasp the words out.
"Luc!" My mind was blank. "I… I'm sorry. No-one's perfect, not you, not me. I know that. Just because we're soulmates, doesn't mean we don't have to work at a relationship. Wait, that wasn't what I needed to say first…" I was getting this all wrong. This was why I wasn't good at speaking, more doing. Luc looked up and I saw, even from the middle of the room, the pain in his eyes. How had I not seen it before? Oh right, the mask. I shook my head to clear it.
"What I meant to say is that I'm sorry for running. I saw behind the masquerade and the real you… it's not terrible. Everyone finds it difficult to forgive; it doesn't make you a bad person that you find it hard too."
I moved towards the bed and sat on the edge, not too close to Luc.
"I see the person behind the mask, and he's certainly not the monster or the broken wreck he thinks he is." I raised my hand and rested it against his jaw and cheek, moving my face closer. Staring into his eyes, I whispered my final words.
"In fact, the man behind the mask just happens to be…" I closed my eyes, "beautiful."
My eyes squeezed shut more tightly when I felt his fingers curl around the back of my neck, weaving into my hair. He rested his forehead against mine. His breath washed over me as he whispered back.
"Thank you…" I cut him off.
You don't have to thank me.
I know. But I want to.
The small distance between us disappeared, and, cautiously, Luc brought his lips close to mine, hesitating when they were an inch away.
What are you waiting for?
You're sure? I mean, you really aren't repulsed by…
Shut up and kiss me Luc.
And his lips brushed mine. I hadn't kissed many guys before, maybe one or two- I never really dated- but this was nothing like any I had received before. The light brush of our lips sent a mental shiver right down my spine and my body trembled with nerves. My body and my mind screamed at me to get closer to Luc, to kiss him. I didn't ignore it. My mouth pressed against his with a little more force than he had and he responded by bringing me even closer to him and pulling my lips into a proper kiss, like I wanted. Me, not just my body. His other hand, which reached out to brush my cheek, trembled as much as mine on his face. His lips moved over mine, warm and gentle. After a few seconds, we broke apart. Without exchanging a word, or a thought, for that matter, we lay down, entwined in each other's still shaking arms.
Okay, so here is my proposition/dilemma. So obviously, Luc is French and when we meet the family, there will be French spoken. Since I study it, I would like to put the actual French and the the English in brackets or something afterwards, except for long passages, which I will put in the writing like 'so-and-so spoke in French-' then I will just put it in English. If you think that would make the dialogue too broken up, or have any other suggestions, I'm all ears. Otherwise, I'll go ahead with the dual languages. And, in advance, I'm sorry to any native French speakers who read it and it's wrong! I'm happy to be corrected...
See you next time! :)
