I'm here again;
A thousand miles away from you;
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am.
~Pieces by Red
As Newton's third law states: To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The transition from living to dead was not an easy one; it was painful, abrupt, and soul shattering. And just as it was in death, so it was in life. Mariah had gone to Hell and back, and she had the symptoms to prove it. Along with having a spiked fever, Mariah had terrible aches and pains where the gunshot wound was inflicted, a horrendous scar in said place, and above all else… no memory of her life before her death. Team Free Will was understandably completely dumbstruck by the events that had just occurred.
"Anyone care to explain what the fuck has just happened?" Dean asked, a quarter enraged, the rest confused.
No one, not even Castiel, knew what happened. When Mariah sat down, Team Free Will's plus one (aka: Stark) closely examined her to see if there were any signs as to what happened. He concluded that the scar underneath her hairline was, in fact, self inflicted and most likely was the result of the gunshot.
"Has this ever happened before?" asked Sam.
Stark gave a slight shake of his head. "Never," said the witch. "Then again, I never had the reason to assume that any of the suicides would be living. For all I know, they had happen to them what happened to Mariah and, therefore, suffocated to death in the dirt."
Dean and Sam exchanged nervous glances. That was a dark and grim fate. Sam, who had been anxious ever since Castiel told them that someone would be raising from the dirt, couldn't bare to think of Mariah going through that fate. Even Dean didn't have that fate before him when he returned from Hell. Before Sam could ask why Mariah was brought back where she was and not where she was buried, everyone's attention was diverted to the newly risen woman.
Exclaiming from shock, Mariah, who was trembling as if she were soaked to the bone, asked, "What are you talking about? Suicide? What the Hell are you talking about? And who are you?"
Sam looked at his friend with a look of sorrow and remorse. The fact that she committed suicide was bad enough. But the fact that she also lost all of her memories?
Realization dawned on him as he asked, "Stark. Is it possible that her memory loss is the result of the gunshot wound? I mean, she did shoot herself in the head…"
Stark nodded. "It's very likely."
"Is there any way that we can restore those memories?"
Stark paused in consideration. Finally, after several brief moments of silence, the witch motioned Team Free Will outside of the room Mariah was in. "That depends," Stark said when he knew he was out of ear shot. "Do you really want her to?"
"Of course –" Sam said before being cut off.
"You have to take into consideration what she will be remembering, Sam," Stark said with a heavy tone. "If you truly want her to remember, she will remember you and Jess. She will also remember every pleasant thought, every erotic action. But at the same time, she will also remember the pain and suffering that she went through; she will remember every depressing thought, every suicidal intention. Above all else, she will remember her death moment for moment; emotion for emotion. I can restore her memories, yes. But some things are better off dead, wouldn't you agree?"
Dean, Sam, and Castiel stood there in silence for several moments. Sam, who was staring at Mariah, couldn't believe what he was hearing. Here was one of his best friends from Stanford, one that helped him meet Jess and, above everything else, win Jess' heart. She will forget that… Every. Single. Moment. But at the same time, she will forget about her suffering and depression. This was the very definition of a double-edged sword: A blessing for her and a curse for those around her.
"Is there no way that we can simply restore her pleasant memories?" Castiel asked with a knowing look.
Stark shook his head. "I can't. It's either the whole package or nada."
Sighing, Dean looked at his younger brother and said, "Well, it's up to you Sam. Personally, I think that what's dead should stay dead… but that's just me."
"Well," Sam said with a moment's hesitation. "There is no way I can submit her to the torture of going through all of that again. So, I guess we just have to start fresh and leave the past in the past."
Stark smiled before he said, "Good answer. I recommend giving her a new identity as well. To many questions will rise if she has the same name and history of someone who just recently died… much less looks like said person as well. You can pull it off with her looks, but same information? That'll cause to much hassle for you two."
"Agreed," Dean said. "Last thing we need is for people to think that Lassie, or whatever his name was, came back."
Castiel looked at his mortal friend with a look of confusion yet amusement. "Lazarus, Dean. His name was Lazarus."
"Whatever."
Sam and Dean,
You two owe me. Here's "Ada's" new identity. Take extra care, my friends.
Regards,
Garth
DOB: December 3, 1986
Name: Ada R MacIntire
5742 Ash Street
******, KS
LIC NO: 5******2
Sex: F
HGT: 5'-08"
WGT: 150
Eye: Blue
Hair: Brown
