Learning Self Defense Human Style

"Prepare to defend yourself," orders Pearls as she points her sword at Peridot.

They were in the sky arena during one of Pearl's famous lessons. Off to the side Steven and Connie watched. Peridot just stood there looking. She was not at all impressed.

"I'm not doing this. It's stupid," she said.

"Oh really, why?" challenged Pearl.

The pale gem swung her sword which amazingly Peridot dodged. Growling Pearl swung again and again which Peridot still kept dodging.

"Nobody on Home world fights with swords," Peridot dodged another blow. "It's all energy rifles and bombs. The most basic battle tactic is never bring a sword to a gunfight."

"Keep still you tiny twerp," shouted Pearl.

Peridot merely laughed and ran off.

"Connie help me," shouted Pearl.

The human girl tackled the little gem. Steven winced as he saw Peridot crash to the ground. Then Connie twisted Peridot's arm behind her back and hauled her up.

Pearl marched up to Peridot, "If this was a battle you would be dead.

"If this was a battle you'd be on your own," countered Peridot.

Pearl sighed, "Peridot if you want to be a Crystal Gem you have to contribute."

"Oh I contribute about $200 a week. Which I might add I never see."

"No Peridot I mean learn to fight, not to be dependent on Steven. Now draw your weapon."

Peridot's gem glowed. Out came a visor like the one she wore, "This is it. That's my weapon."

"What in the name of the Lady is that? Do you think that thing would save your life?" shouted Pearl.

"That is a gemetic correction used to treat my myopia. And yes it has saved my life several times. Seeing as you clods kept aiming for my gem."

"That's not good enough try again," ordered Pearl.

Again Peridot pulled out a visor and Pearl this time slapped her. It happened again and again Pearl hitting harder and harder. All the while Connie held onto the gem. As the sun set Steven was feeling sick.

"Is this what being a knight is?" shouted Peridot. "Beating up children and cripples?"

"I'm helping you to become stronger," shouted Pearl.

"No you're not. If you truly wanted me to be stronger you'd give me back my limb enhancers, which I wore since I emerged. You're not making me stronger you're trying to make me like you," screamed Peridot.

"Stop, this isn't working Pearl," shouted Steven. "In fact both you and Connie sicken me right now. Let's just head home."

When they warped back home Peridot ran into the bathroom and locked herself in. Connie was about to say something but Steven shook his head. The human girl left for home. When Pearl had gone to her room Steven knocked on the bathroom door.

"May I come in?" he asked.

When Peridot let the boy in Steven could see the bruises blossoming on her face. The little gem scurried back to her corner and held her robotic foot.

"You sure miss your limb enhancers don't you?" Steven said kindly.

"Steven when a Peridot first emerges her limbs are amputated and she is fitted with limb enhancers. My limb enhancers were in all essence my limbs, not these," said Peridot as she waved her hands. "Since coming to Earth I have been hunted like an animal, stripped all my possessions and treated like a slave. I can't go on like this."

"You're not a slave."

"Yes I am. The gems constantly remind me of how small and weak I am. I am constantly humiliated and belittled as a joke. What money I earn is taken from me and I don't even have a place to my own. Do you think I like being in the bathroom? Home world may have been horrible but I was a respected technician and even now I know where I stand with them."

"Come with me. You're going to sleep in my bed," said Steven as he pulled her up.

"Won't that freak out the gems?" asked Peridot.

"Exactly, then it will become their problem," said Steven.

The next morning Peridot came into Funland with bruises on her face. When her employer Mr. Smiley saw her he gasped and asked what happened.

"Pearl was trying to train me. She was trying to teach me to swordfight," explained Peridot.

"What with her fists?" said Smiley.

"Yes, the gems think I'm weak because I don't have special powers and can't fight. Also I find sword fighting lame."

Smiley frowned darkly. The look of disgust was apparent on his face. He turned the sign back over to closed and pulled Peridot out of the arcade.

"What are you doing?" asked Peridot.

"I'm helping you help yourself. Follow me," said the older man grimly.

Peridot followed Mr. Smiley into a small storefront. She could see what looked like a training gym inside as humans practiced maneuvers in white suits.

"This is my brother's dojo. If anybody could teach you self-defense he can," said Mr. Smiley.

As they went inside Smiley waved to a tall black man.

"Hey Dan I brought you a new student. This is Peridot of the crystal gems," said Smiley.

Peridot shook the man's hand. The man looked like Mr. Smiley only taller with a full head of hair he had a strange growth on his face.

"You've seen my mole. Had it all my life. Because of that thing I learned to fight. Now why do you want to fight?" the man smiled kindly.

"The gems say I'm weak, useless. They want to turn me into some sort of foot soldier to fight their stupid war," spat out Peridot.

"Well they are right you are weak. That doesn't matter the first lesson I'm going to teach you is how to use your enemies' strength against them," said Sensei Dan.

And so it began. Every Tuesday, Thursdays and weekends after work Peridot would train in the dojo learning to fight like a human. Garnet grumbled as the lessons were taken out of Peridot's pay but for some reason she let the technician continue. The fusion even made Amethyst share her room with Peridot. Things were finally looking up for the Homeworld technician.

Peridot ignored Pearl's sword fighting lessons and would train on her own. She slowly gained back her poise and confidence that was taken cruelly from her. Behind her back Amethyst and Lapis Lazuli laughed at her. They stopped laughing soon enough.

Peridot was doing her homework on the kitchen table when Lapis Lazuli walked up to her.

"You get me a soda," ordered the blue gem.

"I'm not your servant. Get it yourself," snapped back Peridot.

Lapis summoned the water from the pipes. She formed a fist of water right at Peridot's face.

"You were saying?" Lapis said sweetly.

Peridot scrambled over to the fridge and opened a can. Then she poured it on the floor. Lapis snarled as she used her fist to hit the green gem but not before Peridot threw a live toaster into her water limb. Because Lapis was attached through her water limb the blue gem twitched as she was electrocuted. As the light show went on Peridot scrambled onto the counter. The power went out and Lapis poofed. The green gem smiled as she bubbled the ancient aristocrat.

"Hmm it would serve you right I put you in a mirror again," said Peridot.

None of the gems teased her after that.