Be the Troll again.

You were always the troll. You were always the same troll watching the same strange human grow up.

Like it was a shitty movie.

Troll: Review the movie.

Not much to say about the movie. It's still going on in fact! But what you've seen so far isn't very impressive. It is a cliché flushed movie that you've seen on Alternia countless times before. The old pale friends turn deep red through traumatic experiences. Been done before moron who wrote this story!

The only difference is that these are humans and not trolls.

This movie better fucking improve or you are destroying the screen with whatever you can find.

Troll: Continue to watch the screen.

You would if this shitty screen would proceed. You swear you could go spades for it.

Screen: Continue to tell this stupid flush story already.

You comply.

Troll: Watch.

Well what else are you going to do?

The screen flashes to outside a one-story structure. Bells are ringing in its top tower and people in fancy ass clothes are hurrying in.

The screen flashes again to what you assume is the inside of the structure, you assume because there are fancy ass clothes-wearing shit-faces inside. These assholes are all sitting in aisles waiting for something to happen.

You finally notice that the male human that you've been watching is standing up front sweating through his own fancy ass clothes.

Finally everyone in the room stops moving around and turns to the back of the room to see . . . some bitch in white? Her entire body is covered in white. You can't even see what she looks like.

She's probably really ugly. Or the she is a he.

What the fuck is this? Why is everyone paying so much attention to her?

The White Bitch walks across the room to the male human, "man" and stands right next to him. He smiles at the White Bitch and they hold hands. A man in between the two talks to them.

You think you understand what's going on. Through your vast knowledge of human culture, you understand this tradition of "marriage." From what you can comprehend, it's basically the humans' idiotic idea of pronouncing their flushed feeling for each other through an expensive celebration.

It's stupid and pointless.

But you understand the process nonetheless.

You watch as words are exchange between the trio. You're sure that it's heartwarming or some shit, but you don't really care about human romance. It's so boring and simple compared to troll romance.

The trio eventually stops talking, and the "man" lifts up the White Bitches' face coverage.

Why it's none other than the female human that's been courting the "man" whose life you've been watching.

What a big fucking surprise.

OH! What do you know; they're going to kiss right in front of- Wait that's really gross. You didn't even like it before when they kiss. Trolls are so much better at kissing.

This is like a fact.

Gog why doesn't this screen change out of this shit?

Screen: Change out of this shit.

Yup.

Troll: Keep watching this new boat load of shit.

Wow this is a recipe for disaster.

The screen has now changed to a room in some sort of flushed theme. Red hearts everywhere. Even the humans' sleeping unit is red heart shaped.

The door bust open and in comes the WONDERFUL flushed couple still in their stupid fancy clothes.

The "man" is giggling his ass off while the "woman" is taking their bags deeper into the room. She returns trying to calm down her matespit.

The closes she gets him is to silently smiling.

She pulls him over to the edge of the heart bed and gives him a passionate kiss. GAG!

Then the "woman" begins to . . . why is she taking off his clothes? Why is he taking off hers? WHY ARE THEY BOTH NAKED?

OH ! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! WHAT ARE THEY EVEN DOING? THIS IS NOT NATURAL! EWWW EWWWW EWWWWWWW! THIS IS SO DISGUSTING! WHY DON'T THEY JUST PULL OUT A FUCKING BUCKET ALREADY? STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! FUCK! !

WHO WOULD EVEN WANT TO WATCH THIS HORROR?

Troll: Hurry! Pound on the keyboard until the screen changes.

You would but you cannot move or even turn your head away from the horrible screen. It's like watching hundreds of grubs being culled all at once with no hope of survival.

You swear this screen hates you.

Screen: Show some God-damn mercy already!

Heh sure, maybe after five more minutes of this.

Troll: Endure this.

Sure, maybe after I GORGE OUT MY OWN EYEBALLS!

Reader: Uh . . . Let's travel five minutes in time.

I can't believe the fourth wall is being broken for this shit.

Screen: Change the screen now after the five minutes are up.

Awww, can't we stay on this for a little while longer?

Everyone: NO.

Troll: Now that the horror is over go back to the promise peaceful screen.

You couldn't tear your eyes away from it for one second. You will always have this scar.

But the screen has changed to a different room.

Unlike the one before, this room seems . . . sterile. It's weird though because there are instruments of torture around that look like they are for poking and prodding. What are even weirder are the pictures of wigglers on the wall everywhere. There are even some pictures that point out the anatomy of the human wigglers. Or what they are correctly called, "babies."

The AMAZING couple of the year are in the room along with some other old "man" who is in a lab coat. The "woman" is sitting on a cushioned table? And the man is standing right beside her.

The couple is looking glum.

The old "man" is trying to say something; this screen does not come with audible, but you can tell that the couple is not listening. It's not long until the "man" starts crying and the "woman" follows with him. They both try to comfort one another, but the effect does little to the outcome.

It tightens your chest a little even though you slightly hate these humans.

You actually want to watch more, but the screen changes the setting again.

You are witnessing a scene from above on a structure larger than the previous one. You see a human play ground with human wigglers of all shapes, ages, colors whatever running around. There are a few adult humans disciplining them.

You see coming from the front door the two human matesprits that you've been watching leave the . . . hive? In the "woman's" arms she is holding a wiggler of their own. The wiggler couldn't be more than half a sweep old. The "man" put away some documents and coddled the wiggler.

You believe that you have just witness the beginning assembly of a human group called "family".