Chapter 7

Dwight stood in Sanctuary's bar with much needed alone time. He went straight there as soon as the town meeting was finished. For hours he just sat at the bar and did nothing but stare at a wall. There was so much confusion. What purpose did his life have? Was he meant to be miserable for the rest of his days? He didn't have answers for either question yet he continued to ask himself over and over again. It was moments like that day where he felt at his lowest that he had ever been. However, he wasn't at a place where he could change a thing about his circumstances. He was still a mindless soldier among Negan's army.

Watching the sunset from the window, Dwight was hell bent on getting drunk that night. Everyone went off and did their own thing at night if they weren't called on guard duty or at outposts. Most of the men were at the mill having a good time before they slumped off to bed. Dwight was satisfied with his solitude. Especially after what had been a very trying day.

He looked on the other side of the bar and saw a whole bottle of unopened Jim Beam and started unscrewing the lid while sitting on a barstool. Not even bothering with trying to find a clean glass, he brought the bottle to his lips and chugged three shots worth of whiskey. Dwight placed the bottle down then rested his elbows on the flat surface as he rested his head in his hands. He rubbed at his temples with a groan but looked to the bottle again. He didn't consider himself an alcoholic before but started thinking that being a heavy drinker wasn't the worst thing to be.

There were many things that led Dwight to take several more drinks of whiskey. He felt justified knowing his leg ached and the alcohol would ease his pain. However, he had other reasons that he deemed far more unmanageable without the help of the toxic liquid.

Knowing that Jason and Terri were alive the whole time with the life he wanted for himself hurt. He was extremely jealous of them and wished that he could bring Haruki back from the dead only to kill him again. So much could have been different if they had escaped. He drank to wash down the grief that had been building up for years.

Dwight drank more for Sherry. He couldn't watch the scene with Mark at all and instead focused all of his attention on her. It looked to him as if she were fighting the demons of their past as well. They were unable to speak to each other for a very long time. He didn't know where she stood in regards to Negan. He wondered where her desires even were and if she even wanted to escape anymore. Or if she even liked him at all.

But then she looked toward him during the town meeting as Dwight received his answer. She still loved him. What was worse was that knowing she still felt the same towards him didn't make him feel remotely better. For that, he took another shot as a chance to actually be with the woman he loved was one in a trillion.

The room started to spin while he tried to focus on one thing to keep from getting dizzy. He stared at the bottle which was now three quarters empty with slight irritation. Dwight was hoping that all of his emotions would vanish however the alcohol only made it bubble to the surface even more than before.

Suddenly, his head hit the bar as Dwight snapped his face upward immediately after impact in confusion. Plastered more than he thought, he stared outside to see it was pitch black. Sunset had long since passed as he spent however many hours drinking whiskey to himself.

Dwight would have probably been concerned with alcohol poisoning in his earlier life but it didn't matter to him anymore. He decided to walk around the bar as he took clumsy steps off the bar stool and noticed that at least his leg injury didn't hurt him as much. Leaning against the pool table, he stared down at the floor blankly for several minutes but as more concerning thoughts arose, a smile turned into a laugh. He couldn't help but pathetically laugh at himself. His life was miserable and he took humor in that while in his drunken state.

"Fucked up," he muttered to himself and grabbed a cue stick that rested on the pool table. The amusement subsided instantly while pity and fury took over. He tightened his grip on the stick with clenched fists as he literally shook from the overwhelming anger that he felt.

He shouted loudly as he brought the cue stick over his head then slammed it onto the table. It broke in two as splinters flew around it but Dwight continued to hit the remains that were still in his hands. When he only had a small bit of the stick left, he threw it at the closest brick wall.

"GODDAMMIT!" Dwight yelled as he took the pool balls that were on top of the billiard table. When he grabbed one, he threw it at the wall behind the bar as it completely shattered a bottle that was half empty of alcohol. Satisfied with his mode of destruction, he kept on throwing the balls at the wall as the sound of more glass breaking rang out every time.

When he was finished he slumped to the floor and laid down. He tried his best before not let himself think of how truly tragic his life was. It all came to him now during the time that he was trying to escape his feelings the most. He hated his life. He wanted a way out so bad but couldn't see an end in sight. Sherry was right, he thought. Sherry didn't believe that there was a better life for them anymore. Dwight finally had to accept that it was going to be the same until his last dying breath.

Much to his annoyance, the door opened. "Hey dipshit, I need you to babysit the kid for me," he heard Negan's irritating voice say followed by a whistle as he undoubtedly looked at the trashed bar. "Wow, you made a fucking mess with this place."

Dwight sat up and saw Negan and Carl standing at the bar entrance. "You can't leave him with anyone else?" Dwight spat as he glared at Negan. He stood up and awkwardly walked to the bar stool next to where his bottle of Jim Beam sat.

Negan shook his head. "I don't trust anyone else. I trust you drunk more than the Saviors even if they're sober. Besides, I can't watch him because my agenda is completely full tonight with Sherry. We're gonna screw like there is no tomorrow."

Dwight quickly picked up the bottle next to him and threw it towards Negan. Negan stepped to the side just in time as the bottle shattered when it hit the wall next to the door. "You're a fucking dick!" Dwight said angrily and gruffly. "I'm not watching him because you're fucking busy. Fucking figure it out yourself."

Negan started laughing. "Thanks, man. I owe you one." He looked around the bar with distaste. "Clean this fucking mess up before you leave." And in that instant, Negan left. Carl stood all by himself unsure of what to do.

"Fuck," Dwight mumbled as he looked at the kid. "Fine! Sit over here."

The kid slowly and cautiously took a seat on a bar stool next to Dwight.

With a huff, Dwight walked to the back of the bar and stepped over the broken glass to look at the bottles that he had missed when throwing the billiard balls. "Want some?" He asked the teenager.

The boy shook his head solemnly.

Dwight shrugged. "Suit yourself." With that, he picked up a bottle that didn't interest him at all. He raised the bottle high above his head. "To Negan," he chuckled darkly as he just threw the bottle on the ground instead of drinking it.

Carl just sat silently as he watched Dwight continue to look for more alcohol that he liked. "Do you not like it here?" Carl asked.

Dwight snorted. "It would be the understatement of the century if I said that I hate it here," he disclosed. "Negan's an asshole. All the other Saviors aren't any better. Honestly, kid, my life is a fucking mess."

"Why do you stay?" Carl asked.

"Because Negan won't let me leave," Dwight replied simply. "And here I am wondering why the fuck you left Alexandria to come here. Why would you ever want to leave that place? You don't know how lucky you are to live there. And who the fuck knows if you're ever going to see it again." Dwight could hear his words slur together slightly when he spoke.

"Negan killed my friend," Carl defended boldly.

"He's killed a lot of people. Your friend wasn't the exception," Dwight said. "He killed two of my friends. Didn't even hesitate. You think you're the only that has a bone to pick with him? Get in line."

Dwight looked in the cabinets beneath the bar and saw a bottle. He picked it up and looked at the label. "Holy shit! Someone must have tried to hide this baby." He held the bottle up to show Carl. "Stagg. Best bourbon in the world." He then opened the bottle as he continued to talk. "Any happiness you could have in this world is taken away by Negan. He holds it hostage so you do whatever he asks you to do before he completely destroys it. And can I do anything about it? Fuck no! All I can do is take orders one day at a time." Dwight tried to hold the bottle up to his mouth to drink more.

"You sure you should be drinking that stuff?" Carl asked him. Dwight could hear almost a taunting tone in the kid's voice.

"What are you? My mother?" Dwight asked. "Well, you can't be. She's dead." With that, he took a large gulp and immediately knew it was a terrible idea.

Carl was quiet for a second but looked as if he had something on his mind and finally spoke up. "My mom's dead too."

"Oh boo hoo!" Dwight mumbled with a smirk being unsympathetic while the kid was attempting to relate to him. He realized his mistake when the boy looked down at his lap. Dwight could assume the kid was thinking about the time he lost his mother. "Fuck. I'm sorry. How did she die?" He asked with more concern in his voice.

"She gave birth to my sister," Carl said quietly.

"Was this before or after everything went down?" Dwight asked genuinely curious.

"After," Carl said. "I had to shoot her before she came back as a walker."

"Jesus…" Dwight whispered then looked down at the bar counter top as he thought of when his brother died. "I can empathize with that. Both of my parents died in a car accident when I was in high school. It's not fun." He held the bottle up to Carl again. "You sure you don't want any?" He asked. "We could both drink to our lives being a fucking mess."

Carl shook his head again. "I'm thinking of leaving tonight."

Dwight looked at the kid with seriousness but then burst into laughter. "Good luck with that."

It was difficult not to be aroused when she spent nights with Negan. Sherry hated denying it but it was the truth. They spent nearly two years being intimate with each other. It had been a long time since Sherry resisted. A part of her felt guilty because of it. However, a selfish part of her craved being close to someone. With how isolated she felt, she didn't care who gave it to her just as long as she received it. Sherry knew it was more than just yearning to feel something as she indeed gained some, even if in its smallest measurement, felt affection for Negan. How could she not? Despite him being cruel to her, he was always quick to make her happy in his own way. She acclimated to survive in Sanctuary. And she hated herself for it.

He held her back as she could feel his forearm muscles tightening as they both sat in the middle of the bed. She straddled him and held the back of his neck with both hands while trying to stifle a moan aching to be released as he quickened his thrusts. She hated the way he made her feel. And when she wasn't with him, she hated that she craved the feeling and wanted it to return.

If she was being completely honest with herself, more often than not, she would close her eyes and think of Dwight. She would pretend that it was him making her feel the way she did instead of Negan.

"Say it," Negan demanded tenderly as he kissed her chest just beneath her throat. He picked up his pace as more adrenaline surged through her. Her face felt flushed as the warmth persisted and increased.

Sherry drew out a breath while she painted for more air. The feeling escalated as she couldn't hold it any longer. Succumbing to Negan's passion, she continued to breathe heavily as Negan let out his own moan as he reached his own climax in response to hers. Sherry arched her back slightly while her body reacted to what she was experiencing internally. And yet despite what she was feeling, a tear escaped as she let out a whimper. The craving subsided and her world was just as dismal and confusing as it was before.

Negan rested his forehead on her shoulder as he groaned one last time. "Fuck, that was good," he breathed and kissed her jawline several times. "Two months of this and I'm not gonna know what to do with myself."

He gently changed their position and laid her on the bed as he got up and walked to the bathroom. Sherry wiped at the tears that stung her eyes as she slowly sat up. She expected that being with Negan would get easier over time. It didn't.

She stayed on the bed as she shook visibly while the adrenaline faded off. Watching Negan, he stared at her with a smile and a wink then put his clothes back on. Sherry hurriedly put her bra and underwear as she tried to calm herself down. Negan detected her change in attitude and quickly walked over to her then placed his hands on her shoulders.

"What's wrong?" He asked with concern.

She shook her head vehemently. "Nothing," she feigned. As much as Negan tried to care, he didn't understand the reasons that she cried. To avoid his bad side, she just ended up doing what she knew he liked and hugged him close as he returned the gesture.

"You know that I love you, Sherry," Negan whispered into her ear. "Right?"

She nodded. Sherry knew very well that Negan loved her which was why her life was a hell on earth.

"You didn't say it when I asked you to earlier," Negan said while mentioning his previous plea. "Do you love me too?"

Sherry nodded again.

Negan held her closer. "Good girl."

They made eye contact just as Sherry was going to tell him that she wanted to go back to her house. Before she could say anything, they both heard gunshots nearby that riddled through like a machine gun. Negan immediately pushed Sherry and himself to the ground while her shielded her from the bedroom window just in case bullets started flying in their direction. Sherry stared up and saw the night sky light up as she could hear the commotion outside intensify. Negan held the back of her head and looked to the window as well with disbelief.

"What the fuck?!" He asked loudly as the sound of gunshots started fading away to another spot in Sanctuary. He waited while still on top of her as she could feel his heart beat out of his chest. "Sounds like whatever it is might be heading towards the motherfucking mill." He pushed off the ground then helped Sherry to her feet.

"Are we being attacked?" Sherry asked. She didn't want to get her hopes up but still desired that whoever bombarded Sanctuary would win.

"I don't know," Negan answered while walking towards the dresser and opening the drawer. He then produced two pistols already attached to belt holsters. He put them around his middle as fast as he could while paying attention to where the action was headed outside.

"Sherry, I need you to stay here. Lock the front door behind me when I leave then get back upstairs to take cover behind the bed," Negan ordered as he went to the nightstand for another gun. He kept it in his hand and checked to see if it was loaded. Satisfied that it was, he took a deep breath then stepped towards Sherry. He stared her directly in the eyes as Sherry could see uneasiness form on his face. It was the first time that she ever saw him look vulnerable. It was shocking. He brought a hand up to her face and brushed Sherry's cheek. "Can you do that for me, please?"

She nodded quickly and with wide eyes. "Yeah," she replied. She would have offered to help with a gun but knew that Negan would worry about her shooting other Saviors instead of their supposed enemy.

Negan swiftly kissed her on the lips as they walked downstairs hand to hand. When they would pass a light switch, Negan would turn them off as darkness filled the house each time that he did so. He held his gun close and kept Sherry behind him so she wouldn't be exposed to any of the windows.

Once they got to the front door, Negan glanced towards Sherry once more and gave her a final kiss before he left the house. "You lock that door the second I leave," Negan pleaded with her. There was an underlying feeling that came over Sherry. She was worried for him.

"Be safe," she heard herself utter before realizing that she said it.

He nodded to her as placed a hand on the doorknob. She nodded in return that she was ready to do what he asked. With that, he quickly left his house and was gone in a flash. She closed the door behind him and put a hand on the lock. Before turning it, she stopped herself. She couldn't describe it but she had a strong feeling that she should keep the door unlocked. She didn't know who the people were that attacked Sanctuary. She didn't know if they were any better than the Saviors. Yet something kept her from locking the door.

You'll be okay, a voice said in her head. She didn't know where the voice came from but she felt inclined to listen to her intuition. Turning her back away from the door, she went against Negan's wishes and left the house unlocked. She slowly walked up the stairs and went back into his bedroom and sat next to the bed.

She continued to breathe slowly as she tried to think whether or not she actually wanted someone to come into the house while she remained unarmed. She wondered what would happen if someone snuck inside. Would they kill her? Did she want to die? Was the little voice in her head trying to fulfill a death wish?

Her heart stopped at the sound of the front door opening slowly and quietly. When her pulse came back, it started to pound as she waited for another sound to follow the front door eerily creaking to a close. She almost held her breath as she waited behind the bed. She sat petrified and continued to wait. Then to her dismay and alarm, she heard footsteps walking up the stairs.

Gunshots began firing as Dwight and Carl both took cover behind the bar counter. Bullets riddled the wall above them and rained throughout the entire bar. Dwight took his gun out and clumsily tried to look behind the counter top and towards the windows. To his surprise, he spotted some familiar faces from Alexandria and started to laugh. "Looks like you really are leaving tonight," he said to Carl and sat back down in a huff.

Carl popped his head out of their hiding place and smiled slightly. "That's my group," Carl confirmed then got back down for cover. He then stared at Dwight with apprehension then towards his gun thinking there was no way that Dwight could let him escape.

Dwight stared down at the gun as well and sighed. He didn't know what the repercussions were going to be but he decided that Negan shouldn't have expected much from a drunken man in the first place. Carl flinched as Dwight held the gun towards the kid. But instead of aiming it at him, he handed it over for Carl to take.

"Better meet up with them if you're going to get out of here," Dwight stated.

Carl looked to Dwight questioningly. "You're letting me leave?"

Dwight shrugged. "Kid, the sooner you go, the sooner your group leaves and less people have to die on either side. It's a win-win for everyone," he explained. "Plus, I don't feel like dying tonight. Which is what would happen if I gave a fuck."

Carl took the gun but still looked to Dwight with confusion.

Dwight made a brushing gesture with his hand as he sat comfortably behind the bar. "Come on. Get out of here. Go back home while you still have the chance."

With that, Carl bolted for the bar door. Dwight stayed alone as he laughed quietly to himself. He opened his bottle of Stagg and drank a little more while feeling victorious in a small way for going against Negan. Regardless of the consequences, he did something good for once. Because of him, a father and son would be reunited again.

"Fuck you, Negan," he mumbled and then soon after passed out.

Sherry stood up slowly from behind Negan's bed as she heard the steps get closer and closer to the second floor of the house. She hurriedly peered around the room in a panic as she tried to formulate a plan in her mind. What the hell was I thinking leaving the door unlocked? Fear started to form within her as she heard a door creak open in the hallway. Whoever was in the house was purposefully seeking out something or someone. They would know she was there at any moment.

She tried to stay calm and then saw the closet door beside her. She knew that door was notorious for screeching open and shut loudly but she didn't see any other options before her. The bottom of Negan's bed was filled with storage boxes underneath so she couldn't seek refuge from that usual hiding spot. She decided to chance the closet with hoping that opening the door as slowly as possible would prevent it from making any noise at all. She just hoped that she had enough time before whoever was in the house made it to Negan's bedroom to continue their covert search.

Sherry placed her hand on the closet door knob and turned it was stealthily as she could. She heard a soft click and knew the door could be opened after that point. She heard rumbling in her old bedroom of the house and knew the person was scouring it thoroughly. Taking deep breaths through her mouth, she continued opening the door slowly but knew the clock was ticking. Soon she saw that there was just enough room where could let herself slip inside the closet and then could close the door behind her. She began inching inside the closet while still keeping one eye on the bedroom door.

Once inside the closet, she started closing the door behind her. Then without any warning, the door creaked with a long groan. The rumble and shuffling in the other room stopped abruptly followed by complete silence. Sherry closed her eyes as she covered her mouth. She didn't want to give her hiding spot away but knew whoever was in the house was going to check what the noise was.

Sure enough, the bedroom door opened slowly. Sherry kept the closet door partially open not daring to shut it completely in case it screeched obnoxiously again. The closet door had shudders which Sherry used to see into the room. In the dark, she could see a man's silhouette as he gazed around the room. He stayed still and silent with one hand holding a pistol in case something went down. Sherry kept her hand over her mouth while trying to fight a panic attack. In any event, she didn't want to be spotted as he could just shoot her. She was of no value to him and she still had to people to take care of.

"Carl?" She heard the man whisper. Realization hit her as she knew exactly who the man was. She knew it was Carl's father coming to get him out of Sanctuary like any good parent would. She stood quietly in the closet while watching the man walk into Negan's bathroom to check everything out.

Sherry didn't know what to do. She heard that Jason and Terri were members of Alexandria. She met Carl and knew he was a good kid. However, she was unsure of whether or not their leader was also a good person. Knowing that someone who would risk everything to find their soon was already ten times better than Negan, she still didn't move a muscle. She couldn't trust him. She hardly trusted anyone. She had been through too much to blindly rely on someone even if they were better than Negan. With that in mind, she remained hidden in the closet as the man continued to search the room. She could hear him get closer to her hiding spot but didn't know if she wanted to be found or not. She didn't know which was worse. Giving herself away to the unknown or rotting in Sanctuary for the rest of her days.

The front door of the house burst open while a couple of Saviors stepped inside and spoke to each other loudly. Sherry nearly jumped out of her skin by the sudden game changer and saw that the man in Negan's bedroom looked to the hallway and then directly towards the closet door in a panic of his own. Sherry's eyes widened as she saw him get closer while the noise from downstairs lingered. Sherry watched helplessly as the man quietly and quickly turned the knob and swung the closet door open. The creaking sound was drowned out from the men downstairs who were still talking in animated voices. The man stopped suddenly before stepping inside the small space as his eye line followed from Sherry's foot up to her face. He made eye contact with Sherry as she stayed frozen and stared back at him. The shouts persisted downstairs as the man knew he had no other choice and walked into the closet.

The man quickly grabbed Sherry's waist and put a gun to the side of her head. Sherry took a sharp breath as the cold metal touched the side of her forehead. "Close the door," he ordered harshly in her ear.

Sherry did as she was instructed and shut the closet door. Then they waited while the men were still in Negan's house. Sherry couldn't detect Negan's voice among the men and thought it peculiar that they let themselves in.

"Didn't the boss say his front door was locked?" They heard a man say.

"Yeah. One of his wives is upstairs," another man replied.

"Should we have some fun with her?" The first man asked.

The remark was followed by spurts of laughter. Sherry held her breath worried that they would try and look for her and find the leader of Alexandria holding her at gunpoint.

"No!" One Savior replied sternly. "The penalty for rape is getting fucking killed. Not worth it. Besides, Negan only wants us in here because it has a good vantage point for most of Sanctuary. He expects us to…"

His sentence was halted as they heard a giant explosion that shook the house. Sherry jumped at the blast as the man behind grasped onto her tighter while silently threatening that if she made any noise, he would finish her. Worrying that she would call for help, he let go of her waist and placed his hand over her mouth then shushed her. They both heard the men on the main floor say expletives in regards to the loud bang that erupted beyond their temporary hideout.

"That came from the old entrance!" One of the men yelled.

"Let's go!" Another man shouted to the others. "They may need our help!"

"Should we guard the house?" Another asked. "Negan will be fucking pissed if his wife gets fucked up."

"She'll be fine," one man replied. "We need to help at the gate."

They heard feet shuffling quickly out the front door followed quickly by gunshots outside. Sherry felt like she could finally breathe but then realized that she was still in very grave danger. She was alone with someone that she considered an enemy. She didn't know him enough for him to be an ally in any way.

"Open the door," the leader growled in her ear.

She reached for the doorknob as her hand shook from fear. Once the door opened, the man guided both of them out of the closet towards Negan's bed as he forced her to sit down. Sherry inhaled deeply as she feared what could happen next. Every muscle tensed up as tears fell down her face. She didn't know what the man was going to do to her.

He shushed her again but with a more gentle tone as a sob escaped her mouth. He bent over to meet her eye line with a firm stare. "I am not going to hurt you," he assured. She didn't believe him. She had no reason to. "You just stay there and stay quiet. Got it?"

Sherry breathed heavily but nodded that she would do as he asked. Satisfied, he stood up straight and walked towards the window to look outside. He waited until he saw something that peaked his interest or something that he could use to his advantage. "Carl is with Daryl," he muttered with relief mostly to himself. The man then walked back to where Sherry sat on the bed and looked at her with an intense gaze once more. "Is there another way out of this house?"

"Um…" Sherry said while trying to think under the pressure. "There is a back door… there are a lot of trees in the backyards so you could slip by without anyone knowing. Easily."

"How do I get to the back of the library without getting seen?" He asked urgently.

"Just keep behind all the buildings," Sherry instructed as fast as she could so he could finally leave her be and hoped that he would believe the information that she gave him. Gunfire continued outside towards the old entrance. "Once you get out the back door, take a left and keep in the backyards of the houses."

The leader started heading towards the bedroom door then stopped. "You're Negan's wife," he stated as he turned around to look at her. His words weren't so much of a question and more as if something unfolded in his mind.

"Something like that," Sherry responded honestly but could still hear the alarm in her voice. Just leave already, she thought.

He stayed still as if contemplating his next course of action. Sherry almost wanted to shout at him that he only had one choice which was to sneak out while he still could. She no longer wanted to be threatened by his presence alone so she could return to her life. As bad as her life was, it was familiar. She knew what to expect with Negan. Suddenly, the man turned around and stepped towards her. "You're coming with me," the man declared as he grabbed her arm suddenly and pulled her up.

"What?!" She asked in bewilderment. She felt an immediate panic as he pushed her towards the bedroom door and towards the stairs. They went down the steps quickly as Negan's front door remained closed. She half suspected that he would burst through it and kill the man who was holding her hostage.

"You know how to get out of here fast," the man reasoned. "I don't have time to navigate my way out of here. You're gonna help me." He placed both hands behind her back while successfully holding his pistol and heard him cock it. "You will not make a sound and let everyone know where we are. And you won't lead me to a dead end. You are going to take me exactly where I need to go. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

She nodded as the made their way out the back door. She led the way as he continued to hold her hands behind her back. It was awkward to try and walk hastily as he still held her hands together but she was able to weave in people's backyards with the cover of the trees. Sherry noticed that almost all the men weren't at their post and were at the old entrance trying to put out a fire where the supply building was.

Sherry turned to look at the leader. "All the men are at the supply building," she assured him while nodding to the other side of the street where the library was. "You can cross the street without being noticed." She hoped that her reasoning would sound convincing enough that he would let her go. She hoped that he would be satisfied with her answer and release her so she could go back to Negan's house. Something familiar. Something that almost felt safe.

"Let's go," the leader instructed as he pushed her towards the street. Sherry was shocked that they were so close to the library and he still wanted her to lead him. Then it occurred to her. She successfully led him out of Sanctuary. The only reason that he kept her around was if...

She pushed back with defiance. "What? No! I can't leave here!"

"Too bad," the man said gruffly and pushed her again. She reluctantly started walking towards the library and hoped to lose him by the time they made it at the gate. She thought of all the ways that she could ditch him. She could scream at last minute and give him no choice but to leave her behind. She could make her body go limp or put up a struggle. Ideas kept on popping into her head however, she didn't act on any of those impulses. In any event, she couldn't go beyond the walls of Sanctuary. Her job was to protect and keep others that she loved safe. If she wasn't there, no one else would keep her friends away from Negan. They needed her in Sanctuary. As they crawled into the hedges behind the library, Sherry had a feeling of déjà vu as she remembered her time trying to escape Sanctuary in the exact same spot.

They made it to the opening in the gate as the leader tried to nudge her towards it. She was beyond tempted to leave the walls of Sanctuary. But she had a responsibility to her people to stay. She knew what would happen to them if she left. "I can't leave," she repeated with desperation. "Negan will kill people if I leave." The man didn't respond back and was already determined to bring her with him. His mind was made up but Sherry still had to make him listen. "Please! I need to stay."

The leader seemed to contemplate what Sherry said for a brief second and then looked at her with the same resolve as before. "I'm sorry," the man grumbled, "but that's a risk that I'm willing to take." With that, he pushed her out of the gate with every muscle he had. She inhaled as she pushed back at him but could feel her bare feet sliding backwards on the dirt beneath them. Parts of her skin caught on the opening while being pushed out until she finally made it on the other side. She didn't know that the day would ever come but now that it arrived, she was trying to fight her way back in rather than breathing a sigh of relief. As the leader of Alexandria made his way to the other side of the fence, she slapped him across the face and inhaled to let out a scream. The man immediately put a hand over her mouth as her scream became muted by his palm.

She felt extremely conflicted as she thought of the members of her group and their fate if she wasn't with them. She thought of Dwight as more worry took over and she continued to fight back to be within the walls of Sanctuary once more.

"I'm sorry," the man repeated as he took his pistol and hit the back of her head with the butt of it.

And then there was nothing but darkness.