Gift Cards
Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within.
Havoc
The red-coated blond stopped in the doorway of the Colonel's office. The Colonel was staring at him and Edward immediately began to wonder what he'd done now.
"Come in Fullmetal." The Colonel's voice was soft, at odds with the almost murderous glare in those dark eyes. "Close the door behind you."
Edward took a deep breath and gathered his usual insouciance around him. With a jaunty step and grin on his face he walked into the room and kicked the door shut behind him. He stomped to the couch and dropped onto it heavily.
"What's with you, bastard?"
"Tell me Edward just what the phrase 'no gift cards ever again' means to you."
Edward rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. Not this again?" He sat up and met the fierce stare with a long-suffering sigh. "I haven't sent or given any out. I haven't even let Al give any. You really need to get over this, Colonel."
"Explain this then" and the Colonel held up a small card between his gloved fingers.
Ed frowned and squinted across the room before getting up and walking to the wide desk for a closer look.
"Oh, that. That's not a gift card." Ed smiled with hidden relief and imminent smugness at having caught the bastard out. "That is a season ticket."
"It's a card and given as a gift. That makes it a gift card," Roy said implacably.
"Semantics," Ed snapped back. "You just want an excuse to exercise that large megalomaniac ego of yours." He shook his head and then grinned. "I've done nothing wrong this time and you can't stand it. I even had Hawkeye's permission to give that Season Pass to Havoc."
"I have already spoken to the First-Lieutenant," Mustang replied and Ed's grin faltered slightly. The bastard should not have been able to say that with so much calm confidence. "And she wishes to have a few words with you afterwards." Mustang smirked in a perfectly nasty manner and Edward's grin disappeared altogether. He frowned, trying to ignore the shiver that was inching down his spine.
"Why?" His suspicion was loud in the tone of his voice.
"Hawkeye had no problem with you giving Havoc a Season Pass" Mustang's eyebrow rose sardonically "to the Playhouse. She, like the rest of the office, was highly amused at the – dare I say – futility – of your no doubt well-meaning gesture."
"Havoc liked it," Ed interjected.
"Only because he thought it could be used as a way to get women."
Ed nodded with a shrug. "So? It's worked pretty well too. I've heard that he's out nearly every night."
Mustang's eyes darkened and the murderous glare returned. "He's only out every night because he is trying to work his way through my address book."
"He's got your Black Book?" Edward blinked as his jaw dropped. Mustang's address book, known as the Black Book to all of East City and most of Central was supposed to contain the phone number of every single – and not so single - available woman over the age of consent. Ed tried to speak further but the words couldn't get past his gaping jaw.
"Yes." Roy's response was short. "Because Havoc is unable to pick up women by his own efforts."
"But…but… your Black Book?" Ed spluttered.
"Is absolutely useless to him," Roy said with a brief smirk which disappeared beneath the glare. The card fluttered to the desk as the gloved fingers shifted into a snapping position. "Even with a list of names he's still unable to score." The fingers rubbed together slowly and Edward found his gaze drawn to them. Mustang's voice dropped. "If you hadn't given him this card and he hadn't felt the need to steal my book, I wouldn't be facing several dozen scorned women who object to having their details shared around."
"But you didn't know Havoc was doing that?" Ed said hurriedly, stepping back slowly. "If you explain the circumstances, they'd understand, right?"
"They're women, Edward. Of course they don't understand and even if they did, they won't accept it. They met Havoc and no amount of understanding is going to cover that."
The gloved fingers snapped and flame streaked between them. Ed's right sleeve began to smoke and the blond backed away speedily. He reached the door and was fumbling with the handle when Mustang snapped again. The stench of scorching hair filled the room and Edward's eyes were wide and horrified as his hand reached back to his braid.
"Don't forget Hawkeye wants to see you Edward." Roy watched as Ed pulled the door open and slammed it behind him. Roy leant back in his chair studying his gloved fingers. Hawkeye was probably going to shoot the poor boy. She'd been on night duty for the last four weeks to cover for Havoc. That plus having to deal with the angry phone calls from more than a few of the Colonel's women, as well as being reprimanded for encouraging Edward meant that Edward was in for a rather bad hour or two once Hawkeye got hold of him.
Roy looked at the small card. Hopefully Edward would finally learn to leave them alone. They caused more trouble than they were worth. Roy sighed and reached for the card. He had several dozen women to appease. Maybe he should take them out for an evening at the Playhouse. There was still over half the Season to run.
He groaned. It was still going to cost him a small fortune in flowers and chocolates.
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Author's Note: I got given a hare at work today and it spawned a bunny… most unexpected…
silken :)
