Title: The DiNozzo Diaries: Nothing Gold Can Stay

Author: rekkidbraka

Rating: T

Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.

Category: Romance; Angst

Disclaimer: No infringement intended.

Spoilers: None

Summary: Tony's most private thoughts and desires revealed, chapter by chapter

-------------------- The DiNozzo Diaries: Nothing Gold Can Stay ---------------------

I miss Ziva. I won't lie. I miss the way she looked... the way she smelled -- don't know what that perfume was but it was so sexy... her mangling of English slang... how she'd stare at me from her desk...

DAMMIT, why didn't she come back with us? Yeah, I know. Because of me. Couldn't stand the thought of being anywhere near me anymore. Hates me. Well, she's not alone in that. You got a way with women, Anthony. Maybe you should ask Probie for advice on how to NOT piss off chicks.

Did I just say that? Yeah... Yeah, I did. And it's true. Christ...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hung out with Abby in the lab today. Got her take on all this and she says Ziva will get over it -- just give her time to heal and then she'll call, write, come home. Said the problem with all us guys is that we want women to not get all emotional over things when we hurt them but then we give them hell when we think they're not being sensitive enough -- you know, when we say they're being ice princesses or cold to us or whatever.

Huh?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You know that scene in "The Outsiders" when Matt Dillon is coming on to Diane Lane at the drive-in, except that she gets mad as hell because he's being a total jerk but, really, he's just trying to get her attention because he thinks she's hot and wants to get to know her better and the truth is, she wouldn't give him time of day if he wasn't acting like a jackass?

See, I know where he's coming from. It's like this: A chick will get mad when you kick the back of her chair at the movies and she'll tell you to quit it but if you quit, you'll never really get that shot at meeting her and then you'll never date her and who knows what might've happened if you'd gotten with her, right?

It's not always that we're being jerks when we're acting that way. We're just being guys. We're kicking the back of your chair because it's easier than trying to figure out a way to talk to you right outta the box. 'Cause we almost always screw that up and you blow us off forever, then, like we're losers.

So here's the thing: Is kicking your chair so bad, really? C'mon...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remember how that scene ended? How Diane Lane let Matt Dillon know she'd had enough when she threw that Coke in his face and called him a "greaser" and even then he kept pushing it, trying to put his arm around her and kiss her and that other guy -- the "Karate Kid" kid -- finally called him off? It's like Matt Dillon just never knew when to cut his losses and lay off Diane Lane right then. Kicking the chair wasn't enough. He didn't know the meaning of the word "quit."

Well, I kicked Ziva's chair one time too often, alright. And she threw the Coke in my face. Bigtime.

And maybe I gotta just learn to clean myself up, call it a night with this chick and exit stage left.