Chapter 7

Renessmee's Point of View

I was aware of voices before I was able to see them. They were in hushed and whispered tones that were trying not to disrupt the calmness in the room.

"When will she wake up?" worry laced this voice and it seemed familiar but I couldn't tell who it was.

"Give it time…" I think I zoned out after that and I couldn't understand the rest of the sentence.

"Why would she do this to herself? She's so confident….how did I not see it…." Parts of that sentence were blurry but it was then that I realized the voices were talking about me.

"It was a shock to all of us…" I wasn't sure whose voice that was because a heavy fog brought me back down to unconsciousness.

Edward's Point of View

It seemed like years since my daughter passed out and I was a nervous wreck. Carlisle had her sedated, something about letting her get more sleep and letting her mind rest which was true. She had only really been asleep for about 15 hours and Carlisle stopped giving her the sedative as of 5AM this morning and it was now noon and she still hasn't come around, she must be really tired.

"How did I not notice my daughter being in so much pain?" I said, my voice cracking from pain.

"She's just like her father…" Esme said from behind me.

I gave a sad smile followed by a chuckle, "a little too much" I paused, "why would she do this to herself?"

Esme sighed, sadness in her voice, "I don't know honey. Maybe she just couldn't handle the pressure?"

"I'm always so proud of her and she's such a smart, talented and motivated girl. Where did I go wrong?" I put my head in my hands.

"Oh Edward! It's not you! Trust me! Renessmee is hurting on a much deeper and more intimate level that she doesn't want to share as easily."

"But why? That's what I don't understand. I'm her father; she should want to share things with me"

"Edward, listen to me- you did nothing wrong my dear boy. Nothing at all, Nessie has to deal with this and we have to support her."

I was going to reply but then I felt a hand squeeze mine. I looked up quickly and saw Nessie's beautiful eyes looking at me. I was going to cry from joy! "Oh! Honey, you're awake!" I couldn't contain my excitement as I hugged my little girl. When I pulled away, I looked at her.

"We're going to help you get healthy again, baby. I promise."

"Dad, don't blame yourself, please" she said and her words tore at my heart.

"Ok, I won't but in return you have to promise me you'll get enough sleep"

"Ok, I promise" she said.

A few weeks later…

Renessmee's Point of View

I sat looking at the computer screen which held my current GPA's in each class…I had a C. I had failed a test in my AP Analytical Science class. That was unacceptable; a "C" was too low for me to accept. I frowned looking away from the computer screen.

"I'm such a mess" I thought in my head, "It would be so much easier to just give up" and I immediately stopped the train of thought before I was able to continue but then it became all I could think about. Everything seemed like a way for me to kill myself; the window, the door, the lamp on the ceiling, the bath tub, my pillow, the ant poison under the bathroom counter, everything and anything. I started breathing heavy. Why wouldn't these thoughts stop! It's not fair! STOP!

I looked towards my phone not wanting to repeat anything that happened in the last few weeks and I knew Logan was schedule to see me tomorrow but I couldn't wait till tomorrow, if I kept it up, I wouldn't be here in the morning with all these negative thoughts. I dialed the number, my heart racing.

What if he's busy…? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he's sleeping? What if I bother him? What if-

"Hello Renessmee" my train of thought was cut off by Logan's calm voice.

I took a deep breath, "I…want to….die…." I said scared to speak the words out loud.

"What made these thoughts come up Nessie?" Logan questioned calmly.

"I got a…" I paused not wanting to say it aloud like I would get in trouble, "I got a C".

"A C isn't bad Nessie, it's only one C" Logan tried to calm me down but it wasn't just one C. One C meant that many other C's could follow! I began breathing heavy at the thought.

"Renessmee, I need you to relax. I hear your heavy breathing"

"How can I relax when I'm not perfect" I said, the tears began welling in my eyes and I began making my way to the bathroom cabinet but Logan's voice spoke over my thoughts.

"Renessmee, where are you?" he asked me immediately.

"I'm-I'm…" I stuttered not knowing what to say. Do I lie? Do I tell the truth?

"Renessmee, tell me the truth, are you going to cut?"

"Yes! Yes I am! I want to cut myself Logan! I can't do this anymore! I can't!"

"Renessmee, I have total faith in you that you can do this. I know in my heart you can do this and so does your family. Now you can cut if you really want to but think of the progress you've made." I sat on the bathroom floor, my legs pulled to my chest while crying.

"Logan, I just want to die" I said in a broken tone.

"Why Nessie? Was it because of the grade?"

"No, not just because of the grade it's because of the fear, the loneliness…I can't do this anymore!"

"Nessie, this is a very touchy topic and I think we should save this for tomorrow. I'll move your appointment up to the morning. But before we hang up I want to tell you that I have faith in you! I know you can be genuinely happy. Things will change." I nodded even though he couldn't see me, "and one more thing, right now, please go find you parents and stay with them the entire night. You know I always want to trust you but your emotions are clouding your logic right now, please do this for me."

"Ok, I'll go find them" I said hanging up the phone.

Author's Note: Well, I've been so out of whack lately and so stress that I sat down and decided to finish writing this chapter! I hope you guys like it, I haven't been getting many review any more which is making me very sad :( on this chapter I have only had 2 reviewers! I would really like more please! And I decided to make something new with this chapter and I'm going to test it out and see how it goes. If it goes well I'll do it again but I hit a writer's block while writing the next chapter and so if you would like to please send me an exert as to something you would like to see in the next chapter. It could be Nessie's therapy session or conversation with one of the characters. Anything and if I like it I will put your exert inside the next chapter (and will appropriately credit you of course)! :)