Tomo was just another casualty. He was a convenient one, and I hoped Nakago would be hurt.

To me, they seemed like they were close acquaintances. I wouldn't go as far as saying friends, because Nakago never had friends. He only had servants… and well, lovers too, but that was besides the point.

I did not mind having to kill Tomo. He would have killed my brother, and would have killed me, if I had not done it first.

It was quite sad to admit that we were so far down the road of mistrust that it became every man for himself now. There was no team. There were no 'Seiryuu Celestial Warriors'. Just each warrior, out for his own goal, and each of us oblivious that we all worked for the same god.

But that was besides the point too, and the point I was trying to make was I hoped Nakago would get hurt once he learned of Tomo's death. I hoped he would, because I didn't plan on killing any more people just to affect him. It was unfair how he was able to take everything away from me without struggling for it, and I could do nothing to retaliate.

A few days ago – which was pretty late, now considering about it- I had figured out that it was Nakago who had Basara massacred by Konan soldiers. Yeah, it took me that long. Blame my retarded mind. So slow… always so slow. It hurt to know that I had agreed to work for a man who had robbed me of my second family and my only family left. It was disgusting, and it nauseated me. The guilt was overwhelming, because suddenly, I felt as if I had betrayed everyone I loved. And this was the only way I could redeem myself. Hurt him too.

Of course, there was only one person who was truly capable of that feat. Lady Yui was awfully precious to Nakago. If she was to disappear, I could only imagine what Nakago would do to the rest of the world. Sometimes I wondered whether he would be so disappointed, so out of hope that perhaps he would just disintegrate. I liked the thought of that. I liked to know that Nakago had a weakness after all. It was nice that maybe there really was a way to make him feel hopeless and lifeless.

The problem with that idea was that his weakness happened to be my weakness too. Great, wasn't it? So if anything was ever to happen to Lady Yui, the sad thing was that I probably would crumble faster than Nakago… so fast that I would not have a chance to see him waste away as well.

I loved Lady Yui. I loved her so much.

Lady Yui didn't understand that I was the only one left that she could trust. I was the only one who would protect her solely out of love. I would not even do it out of duty anymore, nor obligation. Just pure, pure love. I was the only one who loved her for who she was, and not her label. I would bet that if she had been any random girl starving on the street, Nakago could care less about her.

Why could she not see that?

Maybe she doubted me. She doubted everyone else, so why would I be an exception?

Sometimes, even I questioned just how far I would go to prove how true my love was. And it scared me to think of all the answers, because I didn't think they were strong enough. True, I loved her a lot, but maybe not enough to radically change my personality if she left. Not enough to feed her forgetfulness leaves just so she would be saved of all her pain and trouble. Not enough to hand her over to the Suzaku bastards just so she would not be used as a tool to bear evilness into the world.

Lady Yui would never be able to see the things that I did for her, and would do for her, no matter how menial. She did not understand what I understood. People like her only believed what they thought was right, and what was easy to believe. But I would never change that about her, because I accepted the fact that she was not perfect. I did not want a flawless Lady Yui. I just wanted Lady Yui.

Someday, I would prove myself to her. Whether she wanted to believe me was her choice. She had been forced into a lot of things, and I didn't want to force her into another one. That would not be right.

But who was here to tell me what was right or wrong, now?

I missed my brother. The three years that we had been separated were almost unbearable to me, and looked what kind of a person it had made me! And the few days we had before he had been sent off to Konan were not nearly enough to make up for lost time. And today, well…

Sure, live in Sairou, live in peace with my brother, why not? Why would I turn down something like that?

The thing was, the whole premise of living happily ever after with my brother did not fit in with my idea of this world's scarcity. If I had claimed for myself what I had longed for all this time, I would steal Lady Yui of hers; I would steal my brother of the opportunity to be irresponsible of me. I knew he would still continue to look after me, worry about me, if I had come with him.

See, after all these years of thievery, I figured it was my turn to sacrifice. It was my turn to give up what I had for those who needed it more. It hurt a little, but it felt liberating. To know I could give up everything I owned for people who were more deserving of them, didn't feel like such a big loss. And once I had rid myself of everything, it was comforting to know that I could not possibly lose anything anymore.

It was ironic. Now that I possessed nothing, fear had left too, and I for once in my life, I felt invincible. And this great loss all happened because I was fortunate enough to be a Seiryuu seishi. I realized that being a celestial warrior had both damned and saved my life. Maybe I should not hate on Seiryuu too much, after all.