2008
February
"Harry, what can I do for you?" Loki called out brightly as soon as he saw Harry walking towards him. Harry smiled back and walked over t stand next to him, both leaning forward to watch the human casually carrying on with their day, unaware of plans being made by beings higher up on the food chain to them.
"Well, I was wondering if you had any plans for any time soon," Harry said, smiling at him in a way that made Loki realise what Crowley meant when he said harry made him feel like he was playing Russian Roulette but without the need for a gun.
"Um, not any more. You caught me whilst I was looking for a new target. Why do you ask? What do you need me to do?" Loki asked, not quite managing to rid the wary feeling in his stomach form the smile on Harry's face.
"How would you feel about messing with the Winchester's again?"
"Oh? What do you have in mind?"
"Sam needs to get used to his big brother copping it, right? Well, how about we help with that? You know, get him used to it," Harry said, the smile on his face far too gleeful considering the topic of conversation. Not that Loki was much better, given he was practically cackling with glee at the ideas.
"And you'd be helping me with this?"
"Of course! What kind of Master of Death would I be if I didn't help you with killing someone over and over again? Well, I'll lend you a reaper at least. I did promise to stay out of America after all," Harry added with a huff, pouting a little and making Loki snicker.
"Good know. So, any ideas on ways to kill someone?"
"Well, when I was younger, I always had a love for those Looney Tunes cartoons. I always wanted to flatten someone with something. Think we could work that?"
May
Crowley looked up from his cards to meet Harry's stare. Both then turned to look at Loki and Derek. Judging from the similar looks of stoney shock on each of their faces, Crowley figured they had felt the same shock go down their spine that he felt.
"Winchester's deal's come to an end," Crowley explained. Judging by the look of realisation to cross their faces, they had all wondered but weren't too sure. However, Crowley made his living taking souls and making deals. He knew exactly what it felt like when a big deal came to an end. And Dean Winchester's deal? You didn't get much bigger than that. Well, except that deal with Stalin. That had been a rather big deal. Crowley had been rather impressed with himself for making that one.
"So now what?" Harry asked. Crowley shrugged and looked to Death and Loki to see if they had any idea of what they could do to plan now. No doubt something bad was going to happen soon, now that Dean Winchester had been taken out of the game.
"Well… We can't interfere with anything if we want to stay off the radar, right?" Loki asked them, getting nods from them all. "Right then, so we just need to make sure we're aware of what's going on. And maybe, just maybe, interfere a tiny bit."
"How are you suggesting we do that?" Crowley asked, leaning forward a little to look at Loki shrewdly. The Archangel turned pagan god might come across as a fun loving, dappy moron, but Crowley knew that underneath that mask hid an insane genius with sociopathic tendencies. Didn't make Crowley act any nicer to him mind. Crowley knew he wasn't on Loki's radar in terms of getting revenge.
Something he was quite thankful about.
"Ah, I have many ideas, little demon! Listen up and I shall explain! Yes indeed!" Loki told them, clapping his hands in glee. Crowley felt a small niggle of unease tug in his stomach.
"We're listening, get on with it," Harry told Loki in a bored tone. Crowley grinned and hid it behind his cards when Loki looked over at him with a scowl on his face.
"Right! So, Crowley, you can get back in to Hell and out again any time you like, right? You have a literal 'Get Out of Hell Free' card, right?" Loki asked him, and Crowley nodded his head cautiously. He didn't want to know why Loki wanted to know this. "Good to know! So then! First port of call is Hell. Crowley needs to go and see where Deannie boy is."
"Why?"
"Just so we know he's actually down there!"
"We do. I just said he was. There, no need for me to get myself killed by going in to Hell. That was easy. Next plan?"
"Crowley…."
"I'm not doing it. He's in Hell, trust me," Crowley told him in a no nonsense tone. He smirked when Loki pouted but accepted his answer.
"Fine, fine! So next on my list, check on the one remaining Winchester," Loki told them. Crowley looked at the god and tilted his head to the side.
"Why?" Harry asked exactly what Crowley was thinking. Why did they need to both with the final Winchester?
"Because, who knows what he'll get up to without his brother around. We need to know just what we'll be up against should we ever find ourselves working against him," Loki explained calmly. Crowley narrowed his eyes at Loki in suspicion.
"What makes you think we'll be up against him?"
"He's Lucifer's vessel! Come on! We know Dean's the Righteous Man, or whatever it is they're calling him upstairs. We also know that he won't last in Hell for long before he breaks. First seal, remember? Lucifer is gonna get out and he's going to head straight for his vessel. We need to know exactly where that vessel is going to be when that happens!"
"Loki's got a point," Derek politely told them and Crowley hated himself a little for agreeing.
"Fine, I see your point. So we check on the Moose. What else? Is there anything else we need to do to be prepared?"
"Not much else we can do. I mean, you're a demon and pretty high up on the ladder, but I doubt even you would be able to go in to Hell and give Dean the strength he'd need to deny the offer of getting off the rack."
"No, I wouldn't be able to do that, you're right. I wouldn't want to either. I'm high up up here, but down there, there are a couple of demons that won't stop to consider my position before killing me."
"See? Not worth it. So we keep an eye on Moose Winchester and the general goings on in America. I think we can agree though, that we have a vague idea of just what grief can do to Sam," Loki said, making them all think back to the somewhat insightful Mystery Spot prank Loki played on the brothers.
"Good point. Well then! If that's settled, shall we show our cards? I'm ready to wipe the floor with you all and I really want that manor you put down, Crowley," Harry said. Crowley just raised an eyebrow at him. No way was Harry's hand better than his. He was getting his hands on that mint condition, first edition copy of War and Peace. Not that he actually read the novel. He didn't know anyone that had. It was a dreadfully dull novel. But then, most classics were. The more of a classic it was, the less people that had actually read it, in Crowley's opinion.
Ulysses? No one would rave about that book if they'd actually read it. And having the longest sentence in published literature is no excuse for bad grammar.
September
Crowley looked up from the book he was reading when Harry stormed into his office with a furious look on his face. Dog-earing the page, Crowley placed the book on the arm of the chair he was sitting in and then looked up at Harry, deciding to just wait it out until Harry finally exploded and told him what was wrong.
Moments later, Derek entered the room looking just as annoyed as his master, and beyond the vague thought that his office was slowly beginning to resemble Clapham junction, Crowley mostly wondered if he could get Loki here as back up before Derek killed him.
Or Harry did.
He wasn't too sure which one he would prefer.
"Dean has been brought back from Hell," Derek finally said. Crowley flinched when the explanation made Harry made a wordless yell of anger and threw one of Crowley's priceless vases across the room.
Crowley wasn't too sure what to say, but hit the send button discreetly on his phone telling Loki to get to his office as soon as possibly. He hoped the god/archangel/whatever got there in time for Crowley to hide behind him.
"Do you know who did it?" Crowley asked, not entirely sure what else he could ask. Or if there was anything else he needed to know. Really, Dean - that's what Derek called him, right? He assumed Dean was the dead Winchester. Not the father. The other dead one - getting out of Hell was really quite significant and just proved that the end really was… nigh.
Crowley really hated cliches.
"The angels, who else? Presumptuous, pompous, freakish balls of light that they are. Wankers! The lot of them! I hate them almost as much as I do demons!" Crowley kept silent on the matter that Harry hadn't actually known much about angels, still didn't, other than things mentioned about them in popular culture. Well. Dogma.
"Hey now! No need to get personal!" Crowley looked up feeling a huge sense of relief wash over him when Loki stepped out of the shadows with a smile on his face. "So what have my illustrious brothers done now to piss off the Master of Death and… Death?"
"Dean's not in Hell anymore," Crowley told him before Harry could start on another rather insulting and vaguely terrifying rant about hating demons and angels with equal fervour.
"Huh, my brothers really are gearing for the end of the world then? Anyone know if 'the righteous man fell'?" Loki asked, looking from one to the other. Crowley just shrugged, he had no idea if Dean had broken whilst in Hell, but if he'd had the dubious pleasure of being on Alistairs rack, then he would put money on him doing so.
"Can a man whore with more vices than he knows what to do with actually be a 'righteous man'?" Harry asked, moving to finally sit down on Crowley's desk, which just made Crowley's eyebrow twitch in annoyance. Not that he was going to say anything however. He wasn't insane.
"Apparently so. So? Did he? Did he make 'em squeal like a pig?"
"You're never allowed to pick the movie on movie night," Crowley spoke up, not even having to look up to know that Loki was pouting.
"In answer to your question, Loki, we believe he did indeed break. In fact, we think that your brothers waited until he had before they brought him back," Death explained to them, putting a stop to the impending argument between Crowley and Loki.
"Well shit," Loki said eloquently, dropping down on the couch next to Crowley and looking exactly how Crowley felt.
"My thoughts exactly.
"So big brother is gonna join the party soon then? Bollocks."
November
"I hereby call this meeting of Lover's In League Against Satan, to order! Does anyone have anything they feel they need to tell us first? Crowley? Harry? Derek?" Crowley rolled his eyes and just shot Loki an unimpressed look. Really, who the hell gave him a gavel?
"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?" Harry asked dully, and Crowley snorted when Loki actually pouted once more for having his childish antics pointed out. And really-
"Lovers in League Against Satan?" Crowley drawled with a raised eyebrow. Loki just grinned back at him and then drew his eyes up and down his body in an unabashed leer. Crowley just shook his head.
"I feel it describes us perfectly. So stop bitching already. You're in America the most recently, do you have any news about much?" Loki asked, finally moving back to sit at the table they were all sat around.
"On the demon front, it's disturbingly quiet. Though I have gone to spy on those hunters a few times. I hate to have to tell you, Loki, but one of your younger brothers might be a little special needs," Crowley informed him with a fake look of sadness on his face and a small shake of his head. Loki just looked at him for a beat and then burst into laughter.
"Have you met me? We're all special needs! My Father wasn't all that perfect when he first started out. I think he may have tried out Autism on us angels, just to see what that would do. Which sorry angel did the Winchster's get?"
"Cas-something. Probably Cassiel or some inane name that ends with 'iel'," Crowley muttered with a shrug.
"Oh! Little Cassie has finally grown his wings and left the flock! Very nice. And no, my father wasn't all that imaginative when it came to naming us, either. The one time he tried to be imaginative with the naming, he came up with Yakasaganotz-" Harry sputtered and burst into laughter, interrupting whatever Loki might have been going to follow that with. Even Crowley started to snicker at that unfortunate angel's name.
"That poor guy! Oh, I bet you picked on him something rotten!" Harry gasped out, and Crowley wondered just how long this little bout of amusement he was feeling would actually last. Maybe he should time them one day.
"He may have been the only angel truly happy about my disappearance," Loki admitted with a wicked grin on his face. Crowley snorted and shook his head, deciding to get the conversation back on track.
"So, back to America and the state it's currently in?"
"Oh, yes, sorry, go on," Harry said and Crowley mentally calculated that his amusement must have lasted a good three minutes.
"Well, like I said, most demons have been suspiciously quiet. Only occasionally will they set a trap leading the Winchesters nearer and nearer to where Lilith wants them to be. However, the biggest demon activity is also the one that's mostly being overlooked. Quite probably deliberately on the part of your brothers," Crowley said with a nod to Loki.
"What's that then? And what are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum doing about it? Surely they're not ignoring it," Harry stated with a confused frown on his face.
"Dum lives up to his name and remains oblivious, Dee is the main target of the demon. The demon Ruby has her nasty little claws in Dee and is feeding him her blood. From what I can gather, he's already addicted."
"Well shit. Maybe we should have stopped that whilst Dum was still warming his cockles in Hell," Loki pipped in, wrinkling his nose in thought.
"Would your brothers have overlooked that? I don't think they would have," Derek pointed out calmly, ever the voice of reason. Really, Crowley thought that was the biggest reason he came to these meetings. Without him they'd have all probably decided that storming Heaven and Hell would be a perfectly reasonable idea and for Harry to rise an army of zombies.
That man had a strange obsession with zombies.
And frogs and kittens.
Crowley dreaded the day he came up with zombie kittens and zombie frogs. That would just be a little too odd for words.
"So… basically, the final seal is going to be broken and there's really nothing we can do about it?" Loki stated and Crowley slumped in a his chair with a sigh.
"That sounds about right, yes."
