Chapter Seven
Running together became a daily event, and after a few days it seemed natural to end it by having breakfast together in the mess. That became a daily event as well.
Slowly and cautiously, they were rebuilding their friendship. Sometimes they had lunch together as well, and they snatched a flight together whenever they could.
Kara was aware they were the subject of curious stares from the crew, particularly those who hadn't known her and Lee on Galactica. They couldn't understand why, after weeks of coldly ignoring each other, their commander and their CAG were now spending half their off-duty time in each other's company. It made her grin inwardly. Some things never changed – no-one had ever really understood how their friendship worked.
Dee certainly didn't understand. Her expression whenever she saw Lee and Kara together made it clear enough that she didn't like this new development between them.
One day she cornered Kara after a meeting.
"I thought I asked you to leave him alone."
Kara shrugged. "You asked. I didn't promise anything."
Dee's mouth set in a thin line. "He doesn't need you messing up his life-"
"Oh, so you speak for him now, do you?" Kara turned on Dee, eyes narrowed. She really didn't need this.
Dee flushed. "I don't-"
"If Lee wants me out of his life, he's more than capable of telling me himself. So why don't you keep out of it." Kara smiled sweetly. "Otherwise I might start to think you're feeling threatened."
Dee's eyes flashed angrily. "By you? I don't think so." She stalked away.
Kara watched her retreating back smugly. She'd won that round.
----
Dee was completely wrong, anyway. She wasn't messing up Lee's life. She was just being his friend again, and she'd come to realise over the last few weeks that he needed a friend as much as she did. He was rather isolated on this ship, just by virtue of his rank. His crew generally liked and respected him, but he was still their commanding officer, and that created a distance that was always there, however informal the situation. None of them had really known him before he took over as their commander, so there was no past friendship to overcome the barrier. Kara was the only person who could do that.
So she told herself there was no harm in getting close to him again. They both needed it, and there was no danger of it going further than it should. She knew better.
Sometimes it was hard to remember that, though. There were moments – when he smiled at her in a particular way, when their eyes caught and held, when he brushed past her as they were running or when their fingers touched as he passed her a cup of coffee – that made her heart thump and her mouth go dry. Made her think foolish thoughts about the way things could have been.
The worst times were in the gym. He was determined to lose that extra weight, so as well as running he'd gone back to working out in the gym. He needed someone to spot for him and he'd asked her, because he'd felt the others might find it awkward, working out with their commander.
So she'd agreed. Big mistake.
Of course, she'd seen him half-naked and sweating a hundred times before. And she had years of experience in pretending it didn't affect her. But now it was a million times harder. Because now she didn't have to imagine what his skin tasted like, or how his muscles would feel under her fingers. Because now she knew. She remembered. Memories that came flaring back all too vividly every time she looked at him. Rousing impulses that she fought desperately to bury.
Every session spotting him sent her straight to the punching bag afterwards, fiercely pounding those impulses away. Reminding herself with each blow of all the reasons she couldn't act on them.
If you ever gave in to what you feel for him, it would swallow you whole.
It wouldn't last. You'd let him down and he'd leave you, just like everybody else.
It would tear you to pieces when he left.
It's not safe to care that much about anybody.
He's getting married in a few weeks anyway.
The last one didn't really help though. In fact it just roused all those impulses again, especially when she saw him with Dee.
He never talked to her about the wedding, even though it was getting close now, and Kara was relieved. She didn't think she could chat about it. It felt like a terrible shadow, looming over her.
She knew she was being irrational. Nothing would change when Lee was married, not really. He'd still be her friend. They'd still go running together and have lunch together. The only difference was that when he went back to Dee at the end of the day she'd be his wife rather than his girlfriend.
No difference at all.
There was no reason for this stupid feeling that she was going to lose him.
----
"Full colours." Kara smirked as she laid down her cards and the other pilots all groaned.
"Not again, Starbuck!"
Showboat laughed. "That's positively uncanny."
Kara grinned and drained her bottle of beer. "Nothing uncanny about it. It's just natural talent."
"Not to mention all those years you spent hanging around in bars when you should have been studying."
Kara looked up, startled by the familiar voice, and grinned to see Lee in the doorway. He was watching her with a reminiscent half smile.
"You're just jealous, Adama."
Chairs scraped around her as the other pilots realised Lee was there. They got to their feet, saluting and standing to attention.
"At ease, everyone." The smile faded from Lee's face. "Sorry to interrupt the game – I just needed a quick word with Starbuck."
Kara got to her feet. "Back in a minute, guys." She followed Lee out into the corridor. "What's up?"
"Nothing serious. I just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to make our flight tomorrow."
"Oh." Kara tried to swallow her disappointment.
"I'm sorry, it's just – well, I have to go with Dee to see the priestess on the Geminon Traveller."
A priestess? Something to do with the wedding, then. Kara bit her lip and glared down at the deck. "Don't worry about it."
"I'm sorry, but it's the only time she could fit us in."
"I said its fine." Kara pushed down the surge of jealousy and tried to make her voice light. "I need some more time to sort out the new CAP schedule anyway."
"Okay then. Well, I'll head off now. Let you get back to your game."
He started to turn away, but not before Kara had caught a slightly wistful expression in his eyes.
"Lee!"
He turned back. "Yes?"
"Come and join us," she said impulsively. "If you haven't got anything else to do, that is."
"No, I haven't." Lee paused, looking uncertain. "Kara, I don't want to intrude."
"You're not," she said firmly. It was about time he learned to relax a bit around his crew. "You'd be doing me a favour, anyway. I'm wiping the floor with that lot, and I'm bored with it. I need a challenge." She grinned at him, stepping closer. "Think you can give me a challenge, Lee?"
His eyes sparked in response, and her breath caught in her throat.
"Oh, I'm sure I can." He grinned.
"Then come on." She led him back into the rec room, and pretended not to notice the sudden silence as they entered.
"Make room for the commander," she said breezily. "He's joining our game."
The pilots looked bewildered, and not particularly welcoming, and Kara felt irritated. For the gods' sake, they were acting as if Lee was some sort of ogre.
"Let's find him a seat." She glared at one of the nuggets, who blinked at her for a moment, and then jumped up and went to fetch Lee a chair. Showboat shifted along to create a space in the circle for him, and Lee sat down. He smiled round at everyone, but Kara could tell he was feeling a little awkward.
"I couldn't resist the opportunity to break Starbuck's winning streak," he said finally, and Kara could see the pilots relax a little.
"Getting a bit cocky, aren't you, sir?" she shot back, grinning. "What makes you think you'll even get an opportunity?"
She could almost hear a collective intake of breath around the table at her provocative tone, and feel the tension as they waited for Lee to respond.
He grinned at her, and she could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what she was trying to do. "Careful, Starbuck. You're sounding threatened."
The pilots grinned at his good-humoured reply, and everyone started to relax. Kara smiled inwardly.
"By you? I don't think so," she scoffed, and started to deal the cards.
----
Kara was relieved to see that her impulse had been a good one. The card game was less rowdy with Lee present, and she knew the pilots were keeping more of a guard on their tongues than usual, but the initial awkwardness faded away. The pilots started to laugh and comment on the running banter between Lee and Kara, and even began to make a few jokes of their own, or address a comment to Lee directly.
Kara grinned to herself. See guys, he is human after all…
No-one had managed to break her winning streak yet, although Showboat and Lee were giving her a good run for her money.
The next round, she had a middling hand. Not great, but probably enough to win if she could bluff everyone into dropping out. She smiled smugly and bet big.
Most of the others dropped out in the first few rounds of bidding, until only Showboat and Lee were left.
Kara raised the stakes, and Lee whistled. "That's high, Starbuck. Can you back it up?"
She smiled slowly, eyes holding his. "You'll have to find out, won't you?"
"Well, I won't," said Showboat. "Too high for me. I fold."
Kara finished her beer and reached for another bottle. "How about you, Apollo?"
"Oh, I'm in." He smiled cockily, his blue eyes gleaming. "In fact, I'll go further. Raise you, Starbuck." He pushed the rest of his counters into the centre of the table.
There was a chorus of laughs and whistles from the pilots. "Go commander," said one admiringly.
Kara caught her breath, amused by his daring. "That's pretty risky."
"I'm confident," said Lee blandly.
Their eyes met, and Kara felt a surge of exhilaration. Gods, she had missed this…
"Are you?" She looked at him consideringly. Was he bluffing? It was always hard to tell, well as she knew him. He was all too good at keeping his face blank and his eyes guarded.
"Well, Starbuck?" he asked, smile bright with challenge. "What are you going to do? Stay or fold?"
Kara thought rapidly. If she'd had a better hand, there would have been no question, but Lee wouldn't need much to beat her. And she was sure he must have a good hand. Lee wasn't a particularly cautious player, but she'd never seen him put all his money on the table before. He must be fairly confident of winning to do that.
"I fold," she said finally, and put down her cards. She looked round the table, amused by the astonishment on their faces. "Come on, people. I'm good, and that means I know when the stakes aren't worth playing."
"Do you?"
There was something about Lee's tone that made Kara's eyes snap towards him. He sounded just a bit too amused for her liking.
"Let's see your cards," she said suspiciously.
"If you insist." Lee grinned and spread them out.
Kara looked, and blinked incredulously. Looked again. "Lee…that's one of the worst hands I've ever seen!"
"Really?" Lee laughed. "Looks pretty good to me." He pulled his winnings towards him.
Kara choked. She could have beaten him easily. She was impressed despite herself. She hadn't thought he had it in him to pull off a bluff that big.
The other pilots were laughing and congratulating Lee.
"Well done, sir."
"Glad to see Starbuck's not invincible after all."
"You'll have to join us again next time she gets too cocky…"
Lee laughed and thanked them, but his eyes stayed focused on Kara. She smiled ruefully and tipped her bottle of beer in salute.
"Well played, Apollo, I have to admit it. Well played."
The game broke up after that. The pilots drifted away one by one, until Lee and Kara were left alone in the rec room.
"Enjoy yourself?" she asked, moving to take the chair next to him.
Lee chuckled. "Do you have to ask?" He grinned at her wickedly. "It's going to be a long time before I let you live this one down, you know. I still can't believe you fell for my bluff."
Kara scowled. "You caught me off guard."
"Too used to easy targets, that's your problem."
"It won't happen again," she warned. "Next time, I'm going to clean you out."
"You can try, Kara." Lee's eyes met hers mockingly. "You can try."
"I'll do more than try. This was a lucky fluke, Lee. Nothing more."
"You keep on thinking that." Lee smiled, and a graver light entered his eyes. "Seriously, though, Kara, thanks for inviting me to join the game. I enjoyed it."
"You should come again," she said quietly. "Just because you're the commander doesn't mean you have to be formal all the time."
"Maybe I will. Not too soon, though. My pilots need downtime without me looming over their shoulders, and I have to keep some distance. Goes with the job." He shrugged philosophically and looked at his watch. "I should get going. Dee will have come off shift now, and she'll be wondering where I am."
"Of course." Kara felt that leap of jealousy again. "You go then."
Lee nodded. "Thanks again, Kara. Any time you're getting too cocky about your triad skills, just give me a call." He put his hand on her shoulder and smiled.
He smiled, and something about it caught at Kara's heart, piercing her defences. She stared at his face so close to hers, at the familiar teasing light in the blue eyes smiling warmly into her own. A surge of affection, of possessiveness swept over her. A fierce urge to pull him towards her and refuse to let him go.
You belong with me, Lee. Not her.
Something snapped within her. She leaned forward almost involuntarily, all caution forgotten, and kissed him.
