R_S: So, it turns out I didn't think of the name. I thought I did until I saw Catvengers Assemble on tumblr, and then I realized that someone else thought of it first and with more detail. I'm disappointed in my unoriginality.
Furry Fury
Full Cast
EveryonexNick (DarcyxNick, PepperxNick, JanexNick, NatashaxNick, ClintxNick), Brief Mentions of ThorxJane and TonyxPepper
Darcy liked to play tough. She was sassy and snarky, making quips at other people's expense and claiming to be dead inside. But inside the crunchy exterior was a warm, gooey center. She was sassy and snarky, but she wasn't rude. She might tease, but she was never mean. And she could claim to be tough and dead inside all she wanted, but Natasha would still only smirk, since everyone knew Darcy cried during Disney movies. It was also that gooey center that made her such a sucker for strays (and, perhaps, a sense of camaraderie, as she was in some sense a stray taken in by the Avengers).
So, it really should not have been any surprise the first time she came home and wasn't alone, since this was nothing new for her. Even though Jane was the only one who had any previous experience with this tendency to adopt strays or even knew about it, it was somewhat shocking that no one else expected this from the girl. That night was rainy and cool, but the sweater she should have been searing was balled up in her arms, leaving her soaked and shivering, and the others were nonplussed by her state.
"Jesus- Darcy, that's supposed to go on you… Look at you, kid. Get over here and warm up before you freeze to death." Tony pulled the chair out and motioned her over, looking more exasperated or perhaps paternal than anything else. As she walked slowly towards them, Bruce slid over a mug of the tea he had been fixing to warm her. Everyone watched Darcy in the usual way when things like this happened, as though she was their kid sister getting into more crazy shenanigans and now they had to take care of her. It was only Jane who took any real notice of this situation.
"Oh Darcy, not another one." She turned to regard her mentor with wide, innocent eyes, which usually worked alarmingly well on any victim she hoped to manipulate.
"But Jane, I couldn't just leave him out there." She dropped her head to coo at the sweater, and a tiny ball of fuzz popped out to meet her nose. Tony was not amused.
"You brought home a rat?"
She glared, "He's not a rat; he's a kitten. And he was all alone drowning out in the rain." Jane sighed, heavily paying no mind to the various comments being made by the others.
"Darcy, do you remember that time you spent 2 weeks eating nothing more than one meal a day of ramen noodles because you blew all your money getting the last sad kitten you found spayed and vaccinated?"
"I had to; no one was going to adopt her otherwise! And anyway, this time I have a better paycheck. I'll be able to have him all fixed up and happy within a few weeks.
"No, absolutely not." The building's owner opened his arms sharply in a 'cut' motion, "That thing is not staying here- this tower is a pet-free zone."
"But Tony-"
"Kid, you know I'd do just about anything you asked me to, but not that. How about I build you a super realistic animatronic puppy, something that doesn't make messes or shit in the house?"
"Tony, that's not a puppy," Clint pointed out amusedly, "it's a kitten." He reached out a hand and scratched beneath its fuzzy chin with one finger. The little guy was awfully cute. At least, he thought he was- it was kind of hard to tell under all the muck. But his big, green eyes were shiny and curious, staring up at him with fear and awe.
"I know, but puppies are better. I don't like cats."
Darcy chose to ignore that train of thought, fixing him with her own puppy dog pout, "Please, Tony. It's only temporary, just until I can fix him up and find him a home." She dropped her head and played with the little guy again, cooing "You want a loving home, don't you?" He knew he was beat. She was gonna fight him tooth and nail on this, and everyone else was going to take her side because (for some inexplicable reason that Tony could not even begin to fathom) they liked her better than him. Oh well, if he was going to admit defeat, he'd at least make the best of it.
"… Fine. I'll show you where you can set the little varmint up. But, I have one condition." He led her out of the room, whispering conspiratorially in her ear.
Pepper & Jane
Pepper and Jane were the first to find out about it. Pep had just flown back from a meeting in Tokyo when she found out that Tony, her Tony, was allowing something with fur to exist in his immediate presence. It was inconceivable (and yes, she knew what that word meant). So, one of the first things she did when she got back was have Jane escort her to the room where the mystery creature was being allowed to exist of Tony's own volition. It was like something out of the twilight zone.
"And he knows that it's a cat?" Pepper asked for what must have been the third time.
Jane giggled and nodded, "Yes, Pepper. He put the room in a pretty random place in the tower, probably to maintain as much distance as possible. I actually have to admit, I wasn't exactly pleased when Darcy brought home another one of her 'furry little babies,' but this guy's kinda cute in a pathetic way. Plus, anything that annoys Tony that much gets automatic brownie points." Their chuckling subsided as the blond's phone alerted her of an update. She looked down at it perplexed.
"Huh… Commander Fury cancelled the meeting that was supposed to be happening now."
"That's weird… any idea why?"
"He can't make it, apparently quote 'something came up.' That's so strange, usually the Avengers Initiative is his top priority."
"Yeah, I wonder what could pull him away at such short notice." The two finally approached their destination, hearing Darcy's voice filter through the partly cracked open doorway.
"Aw, Nick, you're so sweet!" They froze, listening to the girl's laughter come through the air.
Jane looked at Pepper in horror, "No," she whispered, "you don't think…" There was a loud bang followed by more happy laughter. Pepper shook her head.
"No, there has to be a rational explanation for this… She's being sarcastic, and he's there to…" Another thump.
"Aw, does little Nicky wanna play?" The unseen girl cooed and laughed some more.
"Oh my god!" The two burst through the door, throwing it open and falling over each other. Sitting on the floor was Darcy, who stared at them incredulously, and small, fuzzy kitten, tan-caramel in color with black point markings and striking green eyes. He was wrapped around a chair leg playing, bumping it into the desk.
"Um… you ok dudes? And shut the door- if Tony sees Nick out of this room, I'm pretty sure he'll punt him." She turned back to scratch her new friend's belly, "He's just a little too cute to have his tiny kitten brains cracked open on the wall." Jane did as she was asked, still looking weirded out.
"Darcy," Pepper began calmly, picking up the luckily undamaged phone that had clattered to the ground in the hullabaloo, "why are you calling the cat Nick?"
"One of Tony's stipulations, if he was going to house him for any given amount of time, was that he got to name him. Your charming boyfriend, being who he is, decided to name him after Fury."
Jane dropped to the floor, playing with Nick, "Aw, but you're much cuter than him." She poked his side and he batted at her hand, gently nipping her finger with tiny kitten teeth.
The three girls stayed in there for quite some time.
Clint
The fourth person to find out was Clint. Natasha had found out the same day that Jane and Pepper were introduced to Nick, merely raising a single, unfazed eyebrow and immediately understanding the entire situation. On this particular day, all the women were amusing themselves in 'the cat condo,' as it was often referred to. He was walking by, minding his own business and decidedly not looking for someone to spy on/startle/sneak attack, when he somehow stepped into a living nightmare.
"Aw, Nick, I can't believe you like Pepper better than me! After all the times I played with you…"
"Don't feel bad, Jane. It's just because last night I fed him some pâté from my hand."
"But let's not forget that I'm his favorite, right Nick?"
"Aaaand now he leaves you to rub up against Natasha."
"… Jerk. Let's see if I ever let you nuzzle into my boobs again. They're the biggest, warmest ones around, so you'll be sorry."
Clint felt physically ill to his stomach. For a moment he wondered if he should just keep moving along, search out Thor or Tony or something. It was really none of his business. But that would probably be awkward, having just potentially caught their respective women in a highly compromising position. Then he realized- who the fuck was he kidding, he was a freakin' spy and, well, him. Of course he was gonna take a look at the Harem of Fury (which, incidentally, sounded like a crappy sci-fi action movie), no matter how badly he would later want to soak his eyeballs in bleach. He slipped with crafty silence up to the sliver of light leaking from the door with eyes closed. It was going to take a couple moments to work up the guts to actually gaze upon the depravity at hand, so he took some calming breaths. A giggle erupted.
"Aw, Nick, that tickles!" The horror that befell his sight as his eyes whence they were opened was… not horrific.
"Are you kidding me?" He demanded, bursting through the door, "Do you know how much therapy I'm going to need after hearing all of that? You should really be aware of what this sounds like."
Darcy smirked knavishly, "That's half the fun." Clint countered with a full-on grin.
"Then just know that I'm in."
Bruce
Exactly what happened when Bruce found out is confidential, as are all incidents relating to the Hulk. After that introduction, Darcy was infinity glad that Jane had told Thor rather than allowing him to find out on his own and challenge Fury to a duel for her honor. But when everything had calmed down, Bruce was in surprisingly good humor about the whole thing. He and Darcy were lounging around talking about what to do with the little fur ball.
"Leave it to Tony and you to come up with something this ridiculous." Nick was rolled onto his back and on kitty cloud nine, basking in the euphoria of a good belly rub at the doctor's hands.
"Yeah, we're a malevolent pair. This is a truly diabolical scheme." She quipped, and he let out a hum of affirmation.
"So you think he got hit by a car or something?" There was a vague gesture at the mostly missing stub of a tail that still made a valiant attempt to swish in delight. Darcy looked pretty bummed at the mention of it and nodded.
"Yeah, it's definitely not supposed to be like that, and that seems like the most likely scenario for the city. Right?"
He nodded, "Yeah, I think you're right. Poor little guy… Is anyone going to adopt him like this?"
"Not that I've found. People in Manhattan seem to enjoy their haute pets, and apparently maimed cats are a huge faux pas… or fur pas." She winked playfully at that, and Bruce groaned.
"How have I never noticed your terrible, and I mean terrible, penchant for puns before this animal?"
She shrugged, "You'll learn to love them… and Tony's going to have to learn to love Nick, because I'm kind of in love with him now."
"Yeah… yeah, I can see why."
Steve
Steve was restless and unnerved for reasons beyond his grasp. He had worked out endlessly at the gym, read a novelette cover to cover, and even learned a few new tricks to adapt to modern technology, but nothing worked. He would never admit it, but he might have been bored with the normalcy of the past few weeks. It wasn't that he liked violence or needing to save the world and risk his life, he more liked helping people. It could be said, a therapist once told him, that he had a mild hero-complex. He was in complete denial about it, obviously, and a part of him rationalized that, hey, if you were gonna have a complex, that was the one to have. And at least he wasn't like Stark. But at the same time, he was embarrassed- he needed his fix. He needed to swoop in and help somebody, even if it was just opening a stubborn pickle jar for little Dr. Foster. He was also stubborn, though, and refused to go looking for help. Instead he decided, what the hell, there's a cute little kitty that just moved in and would probably love a bit of TLC for a while. He could do that… and giving a love-starved animal what it needed decidedly did not count as feeding the hero complex he didn't have, so shut up.
"You know, Tony's gonna flip if he finds out Nick sleeps with you every night."
That stopped Steve in his tracks. Who in the world was Agent Barton talking to?
"You mean if he finds out."
… Darcy Lewis?
"Well, doll face, you're not being quite as clandestine as you think you are, and you're surrounded by an organization of spies. And if someone were to, perhaps, let it slip…"
"What will it take to keep you silent about my bed warmer?"
Steve had heard Tony use that term before. That was not a good term. He did not like this situation, he did not like it one bit. Darcy didn't seem like that kind of a girl… He was confused.
"It's not fair you're the only one who gets to take him with you. I propose equal rights."
"Dude, he's mine."
"I thought this was just 'temporary.'"
"Well, have you seen him? He's massively damaged. Pretty much no one's gonna take him now."
Well that was just cruel. Commander Fury was a fine man, and… well… yeah, he supposed no one else was going to take him. So then did Darcy take it upon herself to… marry him? Oh god, the young girl had eloped with a man twice her age! He was Captain America, he couldn't condone that! And now Clint wanted in on the action? Ok, he knew that the modern era was much more open about 'alternative sexuality,' but Steve was pretty sure the blasé sharing of sex partners, especially with the involvement of married couples, was still at least somewhat frowned upon… right? He didn't know what to do; he was in no way prepared for this particular situation. And shame on Fury, taking advantage of a sweet young girl like Darcy! He should be ashamed of himself. It seemed extremely out of character. But, what seemed even more so, was the idea that she would go along with it.
"Besides," Darcy continued, "he's the only one who will love me."
So maybe the whole hero complex thing wasn't so ridiculous, because upon hearing Darcy's self-depreciation, Steve could not resist swooping in to save the day. He burst in to see Clint leaning against a desk while she stood across from him, clutching the kitten tightly to her bosom and nuzzling it. His words spewed out like a mad man's as he swept the girl and her charge into his arms.
"Ms. Lewis, you are lovely, sweet, and highly talented young woman, and any man would be lucky to have you. I'm sure plenty are ready to knock on your door. So please, don't marry Commander Fury- it's just not right."
Clint never let him live that one down.
By the time there were more people who knew about kitten Nick than didn't, it was obvious he was there to stay. Darcy loved the runt ball of fur more than anyone will ever love you, like he was her soul mate. So did most of the rest of the tower. Tony had given up on trying to keep him confined to the one room, knowing he had lost that battle as well, and the creature had virtually full reign over the entire tower. He told them simply that he only hoped he would someday be able to enjoy the fruits of his naming labor.
That day was a Tuesday.
Commander Fury entered the room with his usual dramatic flair while Darcy searched under the couch. He was likely there to give an angry avenger-y rant about something or other, she didn't really care. She was too busy looking for his feline doppelganger- she hadn't seen him all day and desperately needed some kitty lovin'. The way she ended up finding him, however, was not ideal. While in the middle of some national security related lecture, he gave a startled pause as something warm and soft wound its way between his legs. The unified drop in gaze had everyone in the room watching a little caramel ball of fluff display unrestrained affection the likes of which hitherto unseen all over the booted feet. Blinking (or possibly winking) with confusion, he asked what 'the hell' the cat was and nudged it with his foot. If anyone had asked him, he'd have been steadfast in the insistence that it was a nudge and nothing more that would hurt the creature- if he had wanted to crush it, he would. But a certain witness did not seem to see it that way.
Darcy pouted and scooped him up, "Hey- leave Nick Furry alone!" A deadly silence set in as she clutched the kitten to her chest and their boss digested the information. Tony had no qualms about laughing, leaning up against the counter. It earned him a deadly glare that would make any sane man weep as the commander rounded on him.
"Stark, I know you're somehow responsible for this!"
"What, you don't think that's just the cutesy-wootsiest name for a little baby kitty-cat?" Most of the team smirked at that, while those who were rightfully fearful of the fury of Fury watched in abject horror.
"Do not test my patience, Stark. This is a government security headquarters, not the god damn ASPCA. I want that thing gone. Now."
Darcy was no longer amused and felt her heart plummet, clutching little Nicky to her chest. They couldn't send her baby away! She loved him! Okay, yes, this was supposed to be temporary, but how could you say no to those big, sweet eyes? And yes, he was her baby. She loved him. She was terminally single, drowning in S.H.I.E.L.D. paperwork, constantly a little worried that she'd wake up dead the next morning, and unable to connect with anyone about her job. This cat was the only thing that kept her bed warm at night, and it was the only individual in her life that she could be certain wouldn't get killed by some crazed super villain tomorrow. Also, did she mention she loved him? And she wasn't the only one.
It wasn't any surprise that Pepper and Jane were attached to Nick- he was cute and fuzzy, and they had vaginas. They enjoyed coming home to something adorable that wanted to cuddle (without the intention of it leading to some hard-core cuddling in the pants, like with Tony and Thor).
And it wasn't all that shocking to find Natasha attached to the little guy either. If you had told Darcy that the assassin was a cat in her past life, she would have believed you whole heartedly. The two of them seemed to slink silently around the house together, and Darcy had the sneaking suspicion that Nick learned most of his cat-like nature from the Black Widow. She could be called the Black Cat (y'know, if that name wasn't already taken).
Even less surprising was Thor's attachment to the "servant of the goddess Freyja." He often descended upon the small creature with a large hand, petting its entire body in one foul swoop. The feline enjoyed traveling upon his shoulder, reveling in the height that his species adores.
That was part of how Clint played with him, too. They would find some of the highest places in the tower and hunker down, observing the world with calculating eyes or resting (decidedly not cuddling) contentedly. When they were solidly placed on the ground and there was no risk of a kitten-pancake, the archer would shoot and slingshot little paper balls and toys for Nick to hunt, finally finding a playmate with as much energy as himself.
Or, when the pet was feeling less hyper, he would go out in search of Bruce. The doctor quickly found out that pet therapy was, in fact, quite effective, and the experience of calmly petting a loving creature lowering one's blood pressure a surprising amount. He made a point of taking some quiet time with the cat at least once a day to help keep the other guy in check.
And it was downright expected for Steve to love him. He was Captain America, and Darcy was pretty sure that the super serum of America also made him love babies, puppies, kitties, children, baseball, apple pie, and whatever other American clichés you could think of (hot dogs, maybe? No, too homoerotic). Cap would nuzzle and cuddle him with no shame or curl up with him to read a book, using him as a lap warmer.
Darcy swore she even caught Nick napping on Coulson's lap as the agent went about his paperwork, more than once even. For the most part he napped quietly, except for the occasions where he would interrupt to paw at the keyboard and demand a good petting session.
But most surprising was the newfound attachment of Tony to "the stupid furball." He thought they didn't know which was almost cute really. To his credit, he hid their bond extremely well in the beginning, always asking how much longer "that thing" was going to be there and avoiding even being in the same room with "it." Darcy only found out when she noticed Nick had followed his engineering nemesis out of the room and down towards his lab. She figured she ought to go after them and intercept her furry child, lest the less furry child punt him through a 14 story window. But, when she got there, she found that Tony was decidedly not punting, kicking, or even throwing a wrench at the little guy. She watched as he scratched the cat's belly while reading over calculations, tossed him little ball Barings to play with, and even kept him perched on his shoulder sometimes while he hunched over to work. Darcy never told him she knew, but she sure as hell told everyone else. It was kind of like their own private joke now, except instead of a bunch of people looking in on a few, it was everyone looking out at Tony and chuckling behind his back. He kinda deserved it for the way he talked about Nick, even if he secretly loved the little guy. But, she questioned how far that love would stretch in front of others. Luckily, he did not disappoint.
"Actually," Tony pointed out, "it's a home and an industrial workshop- my home and the workshop for the company I am CEO and owner of, actually, which I am allowing to be used for S.H.I.E.L.D. purposes in a benevolent show of camaraderie and good will towards man. Think of me as an investor. So really, what I say here goes. And the cat stays."
Darcy noted that, the angrier Fury got, the more the veins around his sad empty eye-cavity seemed to darken, and he said "Absolutely not, Stark."
"Well tough shit." He crossed his arms, "You can't take my girl's cat away."
"Your girl?"
"These girls living here, they're my girls. When they want something, they can come ask Daddy Tony and I'll give it to them."
Clint leaned over to Natasha and Bruce, "Well that doesn't sound creepy at all…" The battle raged on. Tony argued with Fury, Darcy beseeched the commander to allow her 'baby' to remain, and the others just kind of wondered and pondered when the dynamic within the tower became that of an extremely unhealthy and dysfunctional family. Eventually the cat won out, of course, when they all finally got tired of hearing the screams and insisted that they loved their fuzzy new mascot ("He can be called "Iron Paw" and next time Loki attacks, be launched at his face!" "Oh Tony…" and "That's it! I've had it with this mother fuckin' cat in this mother fuckin' tower!"). She felt kind of guilty when the whole thing was over and tried to comfort the man.
"Don't worry, Commander Fury. His full name is actually Commandpurr Niclaws Furry, Attorney at Paw, so we can just start calling him Klaus if you'd like." She beamed up at him, trying to ignore the sneer he pinned her with. Yeah, she was going to be in the dog house for a while.
"I would recommend it, Ms. Lewis." Of course, Tony never took to the change in name, but most everyone else tried to be respectful. And Darcy swore that Fury was warming up to his namesake anyway. At least, after a while he only looked kinda pissed when Klaus would rub up against him and jump onto the conference table during meetings.
There was no explanation as to why the only creature in the world that seemed to legitimately love Nick Fury was a cat named with the sole intent to mock him.
R_S: So that was cute, haha.
Ok, so I only have a couple more finished one-shots left and a ton of bits and pieces of fics written. Thus, I have decided to let you decide the one(s) you would most like me to focus on. Here are brief prompts:
Darcy is afraid of heights, and Clint can't for the life of him fathom why, but he's going to fix it.
There's a gala to honor Dr. Foster's work, and the entire gang attends.
A sequel to chapter 3, Darcy's Double Down.
A sequel to the first chapter, Happenstance.
Darcy didn't meant to break Captain America, it just happened. Kinda angsty but looks like it's going to develop a happy ending.
I also have on my to-do list: a sequel to chapter 4 (A Terribly Great Intervention) for Imjustfindinghim, a chapter devoted to Darcy and her taser for DGfleetfox, a rather dark piece in which Tony finds out Darcy's his illegitimate daughter with a SUPER fucked up past, one in which Darcy's related to Peter Parker, and maybe a couple others I can't think of right now. But these all either haven't yet been started or are still in the bare bones stages.
So yeah, guys, that's what I've been working on. Let me know what you thought of this chapter and what you'd like to see. Ciao!
