Hi everyone!
Just wanted to say thank you so much for the warm response to "Clarity". I'm so grateful for all your feedback, good or bad. Thanks also for your patience, as I have been pretty distracted in updating. I'm going to try to make updating a weekly (or earlier) thing.
Sorry if this is still too slow for some of your liking but I really enjoy taking my time with progression.
I hope you enjoy the chapter and I'll try to get the next one up as soon as possible!
Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen and it's characters as much as I want to.
Warnings: None.
Blind. How could you not notice something so obvious? You're just a scholar aren't you Elsa? You ought to drop out of college now.
The mop made a sloppy, wet noise as I moved it from a bucket and onto the floor to clean the mess I'd made a few minutes ago. Anna was still sitting at my counter staring at nothing, fiddling with her fingers. I couldn't look at her, I felt beyond mortified after the vicious embarrassment I had just endured. Following her little announcement, I was only able to utter a few quick words to let her know I was going upstairs before sprinting away from the situation. I had gone to my room blasting cold shards all around it until it was beyond recognition. The walls suffered frost damage and jagged icicles formed on the ceiling. After throwing some clothes and gloves on and making sure my room was locked tight I had managed to calm myself down enough to return. The spill I was mopping wasn't getting any better and I was beginning to get frustrated, slapping the heavy mop over the mess again.
"I don't think you're doing it right," Anna piped up.
"Excuse me?" I said confused. How would you know? You're blind.
She chuckled "I may be blind, but I know what an over soaked mop sounds like, Elsa."
"Oh, no I didn't mean to make it sound like that." I apologized.
"I didn't think you did." Her tone was reassuring "Typically when you clean a mess, the mop needs to be wrung out a little."
Now I felt silly. Examining it again it seemed my mop was only adding water to the messy puddle. Wow, you are a rare breed of retarded. Can I get you a medal or something?
"Oh," I blush, "yeah, you're right. Thanks"
"What did you spill?"
"Milk and eggs…"
"Was it my fault?"
"Umm... Well you err surprised me..."
"Yeah, about that..." Anna started "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to"
"What's done is done I guess. How did you get in here anyway?"
"You left your door open, and Hans and I came over to wake you but you were asleep and..."
My eyes grew wide at the thought of them being upstairs trying to wake me.
"You went upstairs?!" I interrupted in a panicked tone.
"No," Anna's expression changed to that of an uncomfortable one. "At least, I didn't. Hans sat me here, wherever here is..." she began feeling the counter she sat at probably trying to make sense of her surroundings. "And I think he knocked on your door but he didn't go in your room. He gave me this paper to give you."
She went into her sweater's pocket and handed me a tiny paper. It had Hans' cell number printed on it and a little note thanking me for watching Anna and that he'd be back around 9pm.
"I promise you I haven't touched anything if that's what you're worried about." Anna declared "I haven't moved from here. I've never been in your house before so I don't know the feel of it and I'd hate to break something."
I didn't like the way that sounded, it made me feel guilty for yelling at her. As much as I was dreading having to entertain someone in my domain all day I didn't want her to feel like I thought she was a thief or something.
"No, I'm sorry. It's ok. I wasn't worried about that at all."
"Oh good" she sighed, her expression relaxing and that smile of hers returning.
It was then that I noticed she wasn't wearing her usual, obnoxiously large sunglasses, revealing her eyes to me for the first time. They were grey and slightly clouded with tiny swirls of blue, focusing on nothing but appearing to be looking right at me. How could I not have noticed? There were so many clues. Looking at her apparel now reinforced the first one. Nothing matched, her pants were green, her sweater was yellow and she had on a pair of sparkly purple UGG boots. The second clue were those sunglasses. Then there was the fact that Hans was glued to her helping her do everything, which explained his overprotectiveness. The last clue was the loyalty that mutt of theirs showed to Anna. He must have been her guide dog.
Keeping one hand on the mop, I raised my other one slightly in front of her face to see if there would be a response. There wasn't. Her eyes never moved.
"Were you waving your hand in front of my face, just now?" She asked.
Hearing her voice made me jump slightly and pull my hand away. I felt my cheeks turning red. How'd she know?
"…No"
"I'm pretty sure you were. I'm blind, not crazy," she answered never losing the smile on her face.
This was her second reference to her blindness, and it was riding on my conscience.
"I honestly didn't know" I replied, finally choosing to address the situation.
"Didn't know what?"
"That you were blind." I admit, embarrassed at my utter ignorance.
"That's usually the first thing people notice about me" she said.
"Sorry." I said swallowing the lump in my throat "You know for calling you a pervert and yelling"
"Don't worry about it. Actually it's kind of nice that you didn't notice I was blind."
"Really?" I give her a strange look, grateful she couldn't see it.
"Yeah," she smiles "That just means you saw me as a person and not as a handicap."
I didn't know how to respond to that so I just responded with a simple "That's good then," a small smile forming on my lips at the words.
It became silent then with only the sounds of my movements as I put the mop away and began making simple breakfast of eggs and bacon, feeling incredibly self-conscious with Anna just sitting there. I had gotten into a little rhythm moving around the kitchen exploring it for the first time, discovering where everything was kept, meanwhile Anna's words stuck in my mind. The fact that she could interpret my complete ignorance to her blindness as something kind was remarkable. I was just about finished fixing two plates of food when suddenly Anna's voice sounded the room again.
"So were you really naked?" Anna blurted out of nowhere.
I was so shocked I almost dropped my spatula in the hot oil, turning to look at the girl. She had a completely neutral look on her face, like she'd just asked me something as normal as what my favorite color was.
"Are you for real?!" my face was burning red.
"Yes." She said seriously.
"I…I...Ugh! Just shut up!" I turn my back on her removing the bacon from the pan and onto a plate.
"I'll take that as a yes," she grinned.
"Do you want some breakfast or not?" I shot back, blushing violently.
"Yes please!" She replied happily.
"Here." I say a little abruptly, trying to suppress the sudden embarrassment by placing a plate in front of her.
I stare curiously at Anna, unsure of what to do. How does one eat without seeing? Should I do something? To my surprise, Anna simply feels around carefully for the fork before grasping it and beginning to eat.
"Oh you made bacon!" Her voice is muffled by her full mouth. "It's great, thank you!"
"You're welcome" I say simply, still watching in amazement.
She didn't hesitate with her movements, having perfect control over the fork as it made trips from the plate to her mouth. You'd think she'd be more cautious taking food from a stranger, especially when you can't see what it is you're eating.
I finished my breakfast at the same time she did, so I grabbed both plates and cleaned them as slowly as possible. What was I supposed to do with a blind girl for 8 hours?
Anna began shifting in her seat, appearing delighted when she discovered it could spin around. "Where am I sitting Elsa? I'm pretty sure it's a counter and a bar stool but you tell me," she asked.
"Your guess is right. Why?"
"It's getting uncomfortable with my legs not touching the ground is all"
"Would you like to sit on the couch?" I say looking around to ensure that everything had thawed properly from the time I froze it over on the day of our first meeting.
"Actually," she began "Would you mind if I took a feel around?"
It was a weird but understandable choice of words, I tried to sound as plain as possible when I answered "Sure." I didn't want to make her blindness a big clouding issue that dictated the day, but it was difficult. As much as I would have loved to send her straight back to her house – which was my original plan – her blindness was exactly what was prohibiting me from doing so. I knew what it felt like to feel like a burden and I didn't want to her to feel that way, despite my increasing anxiety.
She took hold of the counter and eased herself off the stool carefully till her boots touched the ground. "Just guide me a little," she requested, holding out her hand for me to grasp, "I don't want to break anything." I looked at her hand for a moment, opting against it.
"Just move forward, there's nothing there." I instructed, moving several feet in front of her, watching.
She dropped her hand as soon as she processed that I had no intention of taking it, moving forward slowly. She looked sadly ahead at the wall she was approaching, though she'd never know it. I blame my curtness for the sudden drop in her bubbliness, but I couldn't risk any physical touch. My hands hidden by my thick gloves were like always freezing and a much paler blue in comparison to last night.
"Put your hands out in front of you," I said, "There's a wall there"
Her fingers reached out for the wall, making contact in the nick of time. She traced the wall with one hand and held out the other in front of her as she moved along it.
"What color are the walls?" she asked.
"Does it matter?"
She looked down at the floor for a moment and I hated myself.
Why the fuck would you say that?! I think she knows she's blind!
"I like to paint mental pictures for myself. It makes everything easier" she says picking up her head smiling, despite my snarky comment.
Can't you do anything right? You're quite possibly the most insensitive person on the planet. And she's still smiling even though you're being rude as fuck. I hope you feel like shit.
"Blue." I say moving to sit on the couch never taking my eyes off of Anna who was still trailing along the wall touching everything she came in contact with. I didn't like any part of this.
"Is that you're favorite color?"
"I guess. It fits my description at least"
"And what's that?" Cold, unfeeling, isolating…incapable.
"Turn right and walk forward. You're almost at the couch," I called out, noticing she was about to crash into a wall.
She followed my instructions but kept pressing me to answer the question I had ignored.
"I don't know. Just forget it" I snap.
"Cold?" Fuck you.
My eyes widened, feeling unreasonably angry at her guess. She had approached the couch by then tapping it which made me jump up and move from it.
"Sit. You're at the couch."
She felt around until she was certain then sat daintily on the couch.
"I mean you're a little cold sometimes but I don't think anything of it," she said,
Stop talking.
"When people act that way towards others it's because there's something behind it. So I don't blame you one bit... Or maybe I'm just annoying." She babbled on.
You are.
Stop talking.
I look incredulously at her. What was all this about? I barely knew the girl and she was here in my house making assumptions about me.
I mean they're correct assumptions but she needs to shut up now.
I was starting to get really annoyed, but kept my temper under control as best I could.
"Look," I say as calmly as I can manage, "I'm really not comfortable talking so frankly about this right now… so…"
I didn't need to explain further she got the message.
"Oh. I'm sorry…again. I just keep making you uncomfortable in your own house don't I?" she apologized.
I didn't answer.
"I'm really sorry" she repeated in a more pleading tone that only made me even more uncomfortable.
"It's fine" I say quickly turning the television on to create some noise in the still room, "Just… is there anything I can get you or something?"
She noticed the sounds of the television show immediately turning her head in its direction. "No thanks," she replied, "But I see you have Showtime! I'll be fine here. Shameless is on!"
It was foreign to me, seeing a blind girl get so excited over the sounds of a television show. I'd be annoyed beyond reason to only hear a show and not actually watch it but at least it was getting her attention.
"Well if you need anything… Let me know I'll be within earshot."
She was already so engrossed in the show she only nodded.
I wasted no time stepping away feeling overwhelmed already and it was barely 1pm. I sat on my staircase and buried my head in my hands.
Please… Can today just be over?
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