I could feel so much chakra flowing through that small mound of sand that Gaara put into my hand
"Focus some of your chakra into that sand," He directed
I did, I watched as my chakra danced with his through the grains of sand. He slowly began to withdraw his own
"I'm going to see if you can suspend it in the air by yourself,"
I felt my chakra disperse through the sand, and surprisingly, I was able to suspend it in midair quite easily, but only for a couple of seconds before it fell.
"See, fast learner."
I almost smiled. What is this that I'm feeling? My stomach feels weird, and my face is hot...
"Gaara," I said
"Yes?"
"Can we do what we did at the resturant earlier? You know, where I ask you something about yourself and you ask me something about myself?"
Gaara noticed her tone of voice was beginning to change from defensive to somewhat relaxed.
"Sure, what would you like to know?"
I pointed to his tattoo
"Why do you have 'love' tattooed there?"
He fell silent. It wasn't the kind of silence from this afternoon, this silence was somehow louder. I could physically feel it echoing through my bones.
A breeze passed between us, ruffling his Gaara's hair a bit. He walked to the edge of the rooftop and sat down, letting his feet dangle over the edge. I followed suit.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I can ask something else instead..." I suggested quietly
Gaara didn't know if he was ready to discuss these things with anyone, let alone someone he barely knows, but Mei made him feel safe even if her personality was a bit abrasive. It was almost as if his body acted on its own when he began to tell her the answer, like his spirit knew that she was the right person to tell this to.
"Its not really a tattoo... I etched it there with sand," He paused to look up at the moon "I did it after some really terrible events when I was very young.. It essentially means I love myself and myself only. I didn't trust anyone for most of my life, I still struggle to sometimes. It also means no one ever loved me, and no one ever will...well at least thats what I thought at the time...Now, I think it has come to mean something else..."
I was shocked. This only made me crave to learn more about him. He was only giving me bits and pieces, but that was okay, I didn't expect him to tell me his whole life's story in one answer. Everything he was describing was so familiar to me, things I had carried within my own heart for so long. Not being able to trust, and only loving yourself...
But how did he overcome?
"But anyways...What do I want to ask you?" He pondered "...I know about your clan. And I'm... I'm sorry. But I have to ask... how did you survive?
"What the hell? What did you read up on me or something?"
"A girl I had no previous connections to, shows up in my village from an allied country by special request with no warning. I had to do something,"
He blinked at me
He had me there. I guess trying to find information about me was the only thing he could do.
I had never told a single soul what happened to me the day The Akatsuki invaded my village. I didn't have to, because it was no one's fucking business... and it was a painful memory; one I preferred not to talk about. But Gaara was making me feel more and more comfortable the more he told me about himself, even though the things he was sharing were painful to him. I figured if he could try, then so could I.
"I...I don't know, to be honest. It was like my body reacted of its own will as a a defense mechanism,"
Gaara knew all too well what she meant.
"I was able to injure one of them badly enough that I could get away..." I felt a painful lump begin to rise in my throat. Stop it, stop acting like a fucking baby. Do not cry in front of him "I was so scared...I knew they were looking for me...they killed my whole clan because they were looking for... me... it's all my fault,"
Fuck. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't stop them, I'm so weak...
Gaara realized that Mei...was the "weapon" the Akatsuki was looking for. Again, he knew exactly what it felt like to be seen as just a weapon, not a person, someone to be feared and not loved. He had never had to directly comfort someone while they weapt openly in front of him. He felt so many emotions, confused and angry at what happened to her, and to himself, how no one had saved her...
"I-I ran to Konoha because it was our sister village. But I was so shaken up by what happened," I paused to let out a sob "...that I became unable to trust any of the people who tried to help me, and I lashed out by hurting them... I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. They began to avoid me,and treated me more like I was a problem, so I ran,"
No one had tried to help her like Naruto had done for him. She had been stuck in her despair for much longer than he had... but he knew that she wasn't as far gone as he was. Could he be her Naruto? Was he ready to help someone else in this way? He looked at Mei... he was finally starting to understand what she was, what he felt towards her. He wished to take all of her pain away.
I was suddenly wrapped in Gaara's arms, my head against his hard chest, I could hear the strong rhythm of his heartbeat instantly. I hadn't been this close to anyone since I was very young. I froze, tensing all my muscles. I didn't want to move away. I wanted to stay with him, but it was difficult.
"You're not alone anymore." He whispered
Another tear fell from my eye
"Why should I trust you?" I croaked
"Thats the thing about learning to trust, sometimes... you just have to because you have no other options.. running away won't help you anymore,"
Gaara told her his story, all of it. About his uncles betrayal, about being the former Jinchuuriki, and how he was seen as a monster. How he killed obsessively to prove his existence, how his own father had tried to assassinate him...and about how Naruto Uzumaki had saved his life.
He had it way rougher than I did. And he became fucking Kazekage... am I weak, am I crazy? Everytime my body tried to pull away, Gaara held me tighter.
"I'm here for you, I'm here for you, I'm here for you..." He whispered.
His husky voice soothed me. The last thing I remembered was inhaling the sweet musky scent from Gaara's clothes while my head rested on his chest.
...
