Celebwen Telcontar: Another chapter! And Irritant's Familiar wakes up!

Balrog: Dun-dun-dun!

Celebwen Telcontar: Apparently we need dramatic music. I don't own anything you don't recognize as property of anyone other than myself!

Balrog: ?

Celebwen Telcontar: disclaimer.


He floated, fully at peace.

The sound was surrounding him, wrapping him in comfort. It sounded like his mother's voice, his father's praise, his brother's adoration. It sounded like the laugh of his best friend, the voice of the woman he loved, and the heartbeat of his mother from when he was in her womb. It smelled like his mother's cooking, like the dust on a hot day, like the sweat from training. It felt like his father's callused hand on his shoulder, his mother's gentle arms, and his family's love. Whatever it was, he hoped it would never stop.


His memories were sharp against the blackness of his comatose mind.

His father, saying he was undoubtedly going to be accepted into the ANBU. Finding out that his ancestor was still alive. Having his mind invaded and destroyed by said ancestor. Attacking his family, killing them all, men, women and children. Sparing only his little brother, because his ancestor didn't think he was worthwhile.

Shit.

His mind was his own again. He had to wake up. Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP, GAKI! he mentally shouted at his body. And, with a blood-curdling yell, he snapped to a sitting position, eyes wide open, Mangyeko Sharingan glaring all about him. Uchiha Itachi was awake.


Irritant looked through the bubble Flitwick had created, staring at his Familiar. The man was tall and muscular, powerful and extremely fit. His face twitched, signaling that he would be waking up soon. If he was moving from a deep coma to REM sleep, then it meant he was healing well. It would probably be another few hours at most before he woke up.

Suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, Irritant's Familiar sat up, eyes open, shrieking like a banshee. The eyes were bright blood-red, and the pupils were surrounded by three curved scythe-like shapes. Irritant was caught in the gaze, and he left his body to a black-and-scarlet world where he was spread on a T-shape, reminiscent of the most common method of Roman crucifixion.

"Who are you?" The voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once, and he was surrounded by literally hundreds of copies of the man. The only thing Irritant could think to do in order to protect himself and his mind was to sing.

The song of a Discord Phoenix once started the Trojan War. That particular song hadn't been full-strength, and had only been suggestive rather than intrusive. Irritant's shriek was a wailing, undulating mass of crashing, incompatible notes, each one perfectly pitched to crawl into the victim's brain and torture them from the inside out. Psychology was the ally of a Discord Phoenix, and Irritant was one of the best at inflicting metaphysical trauma. His song dug into his victims' brains, supplying everything he needed to know to destroy him. It had been far too long since he had killed. The taste of his prey's thoughts as they oozed into chaos, the feeling of panic overcoming the ordered mind, the subtle smell of sheer terror. It was like an aged Pinot Noir to a connoisseur. It was like smooth, rich velvet to a queen. He reveled in the feel of it, loving every moment.

And then, with a wrench, he realized who this was. This was his Familiar! Destroying his Familiar would be to destroy a portion of his own power. If a Phoenix, either Discord or Harmony, found a Familiar, the Bond created a power flow between the two. The Bond itself was a power source, and was the driving force behind many powerful Humans. The Harmony Phoenix Cernunos had a Familiar named Merlin Emrys, a Harmony Phoenix named Yahweh had a Familiar named Yeshua Christos, and a Discord Phoenix named Tezcatlipoca had a Familiar named Christopher Columbus. All three Humans had done great things, with the help of the Phoeni who had Bound to them.

Irritant wrenched his mind out of the tsukuyomi, letting loose a squawk that hopefully would jolt his Familiar to his senses.

"I am called Irritant. And you, Uchiha Itachi, are my Familiar." He hopped close, snuggling into Itachi's lap and shoving his head under the man's chin, all but purring in his joy that his Familiar was finally awake.

"What... happened?"

"I Felt you. You were destined to be my Familiar from the time you were born. I felt your panic, and brought you here, cutting off the ties to your older blood relative.

"I... what? You... Madara... Sasuke... I'm confused." Itachi rubbed his temple with one palm, rubbing his arm over his eyes. Everything would wait. All Irritant needed to know was that Itachi was here. The Familiar bond had formed. Everything would be alright. He snuggled in and made himself comfortable as Itachi rested back on the bed. "Why are you named Irritant?"

"I annoy everyone I come across," the Discord Phoenix explained baldly. "We're perfectly matched, Uchiha Itachi. I'll help you get vengeance for your mind and family, and you can help me get my power back."


Anko watched Harry stare at the scroll, the paper only a few centimeters from his nose. She finished fixing the onigiri, dango, azuki bean paste, and an anpan roll each for Sasuke, herself and Harry for lunch.

"Let me go you stupid whore!" Sasuke snarled from where he was tied up to a chair. Anko ignored him. Diamondback wasn't so forgiving. He sank his teeth up to the gum in the boy's shoulder, flooding the boy's system with venom out before squeezing Sasuke constrictor-style until he was blue. The boy screamed, the bite bleeding and starting to bruise.

"I told you to have more respect, brat," Diamondback snarled, removing his fangs and loosening his coils. "And I didn't use enough venom to kill you. I should have, though."

"I didn't know you could go easy!" Anko laughed to the snake, who rattled his tail in response. She frowned at the lunch. Harry wasn't reading well, it looked like his eyes needed to be fixed. It was just a matter of time until Harry would need to see the hospital. She sighed. Her youngest son was afraid of the hospital, terrified of the Healers, and had a mindless panic of the Healing chakra. Coral had gone with the two of them when Harry had broken his leg, and the snake had explained that the Healing chakra looked a lot like a jutsu that killed his birth parents right before his eyes. Having that concentrated chakra right in his face, and more importantly, right into his open eyes wasn't going to be easy. They could go the easy route and get glasses, like that Gennin who passed almost all of the Chunin exam but quit at the last moment, saying he wasn't "bloodthirsty" enough to be a Ninja. What a joke. Anko could tell the brat was hiding something. She cut the carrot she was chopping with a harder-than-normal slice, sending it flying halfway across the room. She finished putting everything in its proper place, and put the plates on the table. "Harry," she called. "How about some lunch?"

"Yeah!" Harry sprinted for the table as Sasuke screamed about the snakes and Anko mused about how she was going to get Harry to the hospital to get his eyes fixed.

"Do you want to join us, or are you just going to run away again?" Anko asked Sasuke, walking over to the chair he was tied in.

"Let me go, bitch!" he snarled in response. Anko shook her head, dabbing a piece of gauze soaked in alcohol over the bites on Sasuke's neck. It didn't escape her notice that the bites were exactly where Orochimaru had bitten her to create her Cursed Seal of Heaven, and she knew the presence of Summoned snake venom would counteract her former sensei's Seal if he ever tried to recruit the last loyal Uchiha. She wiped the bites dry with the reverse side and taped a bandage over the rapidly darkening skin around the puncture wounds.

"The venom won't even hurt you. It's not normal snake venom, it binds to your cells and makes you impervious to poison. He probably just wanted to scare you. So, are you ready to join us for lunch?" Sasuke glared at her, flinching from her touch.

"Leave me alone." He sounded sullen rather than angry, and Anko shrugged and returned to the table, where she and Harry ate. "Fine," Sasuke said after ten minutes. "I won't run off."

"Good." Anko stood and cut the ropes binding the last loyal Uchiha, and he sat at the table, his movements stiff. "You'll be fine; the venom will bind to your cells overnight. You'll feel better than new in the morning. Now, onigiri?"

"Sure." He picked up his chopsticks as Anko served him some food, Cottonmouth curling up next to him. He edged away from the mottled snake, until he saw Diamondback on his other side. Then, he scooted much closer to Cottonmouth than Diamondback.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Diamondback said sullenly.

"You bit him!" Cottonmouth said, insulted. "He didn't do anything to you, and you bit hm!"

"I did that to protect you. I did it when I did to punish you for calling Anko-san a whore." Cottonmouth looked sternly at Sasuke.

"Please don't insult Anko-san. She is a very good woman, and will care for you. She's better than most wild snake mothers. Summons are the only ones who help our hatchlings grow."

"It's not like I want to be here anyways," Sasuke muttered, eating a piece of onigiri.

"You'll get used to it," Cottonmouth said softly. "May I have a piece of that fish, Anko?" he asked, rearing up to delicately accept a sliver of salmon.

"Where's Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"He's at the Inuzuka's with Benihime and Shikkou, playing with Kiba and Akamaru."

"He's not an Inuzuka," Sasuke pointed out. "Why does he have an ninja-hound?"

"He and Shikkou saved one of the ninja-hound's lives, and the Inuzuka family gave Benihime to Naruto as a thank-you gift. Naruto and Kiba have been inseparable since. Kiba and Akamaru are coming here tomorrow, and Harry and I have an errand to run, so you'll be able to meet them."

"I already know them. Kiba brings his dog to the Academy all the time."

"You'll get to play with them, then." Sasuke shrugged and picked at his food.


Celebwen Telcontar: The little family is starting to get to know each other.

Balrog: What did Irritant mean?

Celebwen Telcontar: You'll see! Special mention to anyone who can figure out where I got Naruto's dog's name! Please review!