Some People
Chapter Seven
Charlie has gone MISSING.
OK, maybe that's a bit dramatic - he's not actually missing. He wasn't kidnapped in the night, I know exactly where he is and I've been in contact with him several times since he left but the point remains; Charlie is not here and that is very, very, very bad news for me. OK, so we're out the other day just looking around some shops because Brianna Fairclough has decided to stick around and her birthday is in a few weeks and she's planning a massive party/reunion for everybody who was in our year (within reason, no nerds) and as she seems slightly less insane before I've told her that Charlie and I will definitely be there for her 20th this coming Friday. So, we're out shopping and Charlie gets a call and has to dash off because Old Grandpa Lucas has had a fall and shattered his pelvis or something, I don't know why it's Charlie who has to go and care for the sick old relative but regardless three hours later he was packed and left me behind. Now, I know what you're thinking; "Elijah, he's looking after his grandfather, this isn't about you" and for those of you who are thinking that, let me educate you on a few things:
1) Most things Charlie does are about me in some way. That's how friendships work.
2) This is the second time in three months Old Grandpa Lucas has done this
3) Old Grandpa Lucas hates me and will actively try to discourage Charlie from being friends with me. It's not like I deliberately set his pigeon collection free to fly away when I was 9, I wanted to pet them and they all flew out. Totally not my fault. Who even keeps pigeons anyway?
4) Charlie and I have been best friends since we were TWO. That's a solid eighteen years of friendship and do you know the longest amount of time we've gone without seeing each other in that time period is? FOUR DAYS. Four hellish days in the Summer of 2004 when I was in intensive care because my appendix suddenly decided to give way when we were building a tree house. I actually nearly died and it left me with one hell of a scar on my stomach, but I use that to my advantage. Maybe I was stabbed trying to help someone? Maybe I'm a pirate? Those girls don't know. We never did finish that tree house. For shame.
5) I'm aware this is deeply unhealthy but I get legit separation anxiety when I'm away from Charlie. It's odd.
So yeah, Charlie is tending to Old Grandpa Lucas in Newcastle (fuckin' Newcastle!) and I'm alone here dealing with the continued aftermath of the wedding. Three days later and Mum is still in her post-someone else's child's wedding mood; moping about the house, snapping at everyone (mainly me) and trying to reason with herself that not all her children will die single and alone. The only thing keeping her functioning in the slightest is the fact that Jack seems to have really hit it off with Charlotte Bingley as they have been texting each other since Sunday and Jack blushes like a twelve year old school boy with a crush whenever anyone mentions her name. They haven't seen each other since the wedding but Jack has invited her to come with us to Brianna's party on Friday night.
I'm still struggling to get enthusiastic about what Mum is dubbing "the romance of the century". I don't know if it's because it feels a lot like my Mum set the whole thing up and therefore it's not really organic, to me it all just feels very, very weird and I don't like it and I don't appreciate Jack's heart being put on the line once again. I'm the only one who seems to be sharing this mindset though, even Dad is humouring the situation and none of my brothers could really give a toss. I miss Charlie, at least he would have tried to see things from my point of view and unlike everyone else realize that I'm only sceptical because Jack's my brother and I love him. Not that I've actually told Jack himself any of my fears, he seems way happier than he's been in ages and I don't have the heart to deprive him of this and put suspicions in his mind that could ruin something really good for him. I'm perfectly willing to admit I'm wrong if proven so. Hell, I want to be proven wrong.
"I don't see why you can't find something like Jack and that lovely Charlotte have" Mum tells me. It's Wednesday morning and it is only the two of us in the house, everyone else being at work, school or studying at the local library (Marcus is so weird) and Mum has decided to have a 'proper chat' with me "I mean, I worry about you Elijah, all I see is you flirting and kissing these girls. Girls that aren't suitable"
"Well, if they're not suitable then why are you sad that nothing comes of it?" I ask her, she gives me a sly 'you know what I meant' look and returns to polishing Dad's shoes
"I want you to find a girl of substance" she tells me "A girl who has high aspirations, a girl with intelligence, wit and certainly one that isn't willing to put up with your nonsense. Preferably rich, but of course, your happiness comes first"
If my Mum were a receipt, the "your happiness comes first" element would be the tiny little bit at the bottom that is put on their reluctantly because the law requires it. The law of motherhood requires Mum to put my happiness above everything else, even though if it were down to her I could marry the nastiest girl in the world and it wouldn't matter because she was rich.
Like Darcy.
Damn it!
I said no more thinking about her!
"Yes, Mum, I get that you'd like to have me settled down and everything" I reply "But you have to remember that I am only 20, I have plenty of time to find a wife and all that jazz. Most people these days don't even get married until their 30's and sometimes people just prefer to live in sin, though that's not even really considered a sin anymore"
"Elijah, we are a traditional Christian family" My mother says outraged "You will be getting married"
OK, traditional Christian family? Since when? Dad's an atheist, Marcus think he's a Buddhist, Kieran doesn't know a bible from a Lord of the Rings book (though one could argue, they should be), Aiden is the anti-Christ and Jack, to quote Hot Fuzz,is "open to the idea of Religion, but not entirely convinced about it". Myself? Well, a lot of religious rules and beliefs go against many of my personal philosophies so I don't do much about it however I am open to the idea of God being real. I like the idea of Heaven, I just struggle to truly believe when there's so much shit going on in the world. Mum's a casual Christian - she goes to church on Sunday's to "check in" and gossip with all her little friends afterwards. She also drags along my brothers, but leaves Dad behind since he can't be trusted not to deeply offend someone and me because Mum considers me an embarrassment as I'm usually hung-over of a Sunday morning.
So yeah, our family doesn't really do the whole religion thing.
"Mum, you know what my rule is" I declare "No marriage until gay people can get married as well"
"But gay people can get married here now" Mum reminds me
Oh shit, yeah
I'd actually forgotten that
Oh, that was a good day. Charlie took me to his favourite clubs to celebrate and I had one of the best nights of my life.
I need to re-think my marriage putting off excuses now though.
"Not until they can get married in...all of the bible belt states of America" I declare. Mum puts her head in her hands and sighs. Great, now I feel bad. How in the fuck did that happen?
"Look, Mum" I say putting my arm on her "Sometimes, in life, our handsome, physically fit, flirtatious sons don't want to get married at age 20. And you know, the important thing to remember is...it's not your fault. Maybe marriage just isn't for me you know? I mean staying with one person for the rest of my life from the age of 20, that's easily like 60-70 years of marriage. I can't stay faithful to one person that long!"
Mum cries. Hard.
Shit.
I can't deal with crying women.
Least of all her.
"OK, OK!" I say patting her head "OK, maybe I'll give this marriage thing a shot. One day. In the future. Like, long in the future when I'm, I don't know, 40? Yeah, if I'm still single at 40 then you more than have my permission to marry me off to whomever you want. As rich as you want her to be. Hell, if Barbra Streisand's still alive and hasn't lost her fortune this time in 20 years, I'll marry her. For you. And for Charlie, kind of, it would excite him"
Mum sniffles, laughing a little.
"But Mum, you have to remember that I am only 20" I say "I don't want to settle down now, and yeah if a girl came into my life now who I fell in love with and all that then yes, I'd get into a long-term relationship with her. But if it doesn't happen, that should be alright, because I'm 20. I just wanna have fun whilst I'm young"
Now Mum pats me on the arm, nods at me and goes to make herself a cup of tea. She looks back at me and smiles before saying;
"I'll get you my pretty and your little brothers too"
I'm outta here
She is crazy
Legit crazy.
Picking up my keys and my wallet I begin making my way up to the Rugby Club. I don't have a scheduled work shift but I need to get out of that house before Mum starts watching her soaps and asking me which particular soap actress I'd most like to be married too. I mean, for me, it is Michelle Keegan from Coronation Street but I can hardly tell Mum that or she'd be driving is up to ITV and throwing me at the poor girl as she goes into work. So yeah, I'm escaping from the house for the afternoon so I might as well get paid for it. You know what, actually, I don't even mind if I don't get paid - I just want to get away
The Rugby Club isn't typically busy on a Wednesday afternoon, so much so that none of the managers are even in when I arrive and there's only about three of the old men regulars in there. They all bid me hello, which I return, as I head behind the bar and take off my coat
"Elijah, what are you doing here?" Shannon Rhodes, one of the barmaids, asks me as I come into her view. Shannon's 24, quite fit and flirts with me a lot over the bar which I'm always happy to return. "I didn't think you had a shift on a Wednesday afternoon?"
"I don't" I say simply "But my Mum's gone all wedding cuckoo and keeps trying to get me to settle down and it's doing my head. I'm twenty for god sake, you know?"
"Yeah" Shannon says, clearly not really understanding but nodding along anyway. God, she's fit. "Well, it's quiet for now but I'm glad someone's turned up. There's a couple of girls coming in here in about an hour, they want lunch and stuff, so I'm glad I don't have to manage the bar and kitchen on my own"
"Can you do the kitchens?" I ask "You know how bad I am at cooking. Remember that Yule Log I did for Christmas?"
"I'd rather not" she says with a laugh before heading into the Kitchen to start prepping.
The hour passes by fairly slowly; only a few more of the regulars come in and they ask me the usual questions:
"How're you?"
"How's your Dad?"
"How's your Mum?"
"How're your brothers?"
and then as they drink more and more the stories about how they knew me as a kid, how cute I was, how good at Rugby I was and how handsome I've become come out too and it always causes me embarrassment to some degree. That said, it's not as bad as when it happens on Friday's as more young people tend to be in then and some of them are girls who will flirt with me, then strangely disappear once our cleaner shows them an infamous picture of me from the summer of 1996, 2 years old, ADHD'D off my tits running around naked with chocolate from a melted magnum smeared all over my face and little chest. It's quite a funny picture because it contains Mum trying to chase after me and the photo captures her mid-fall but I'd still it not be shown to girls I'm trying to flirt with
Things start to become busier after a while, as the girls who wanted lunch turn up, and my stomach drops a little when I see it's Brianna Fairclough and several of her former acquaintances from our school days. Amy Rose, Samantha Taylor, Ellie Rowling and Jenny Rowland all of whom I slept with at some point during my school days - I was a horny son of a bitch back then, and had very few morals when it came to sleeping around. I have matured. I promise. The only one I haven't had sex with is Brianna and even she's seen me naked due to extreme stalking when we were seventeen.
"Hi, Elijah" they all say in unison as I approach the table rather reluctantly already blushing. Shannon is absolutely pissing herself behind the bar because I'm an idiot and just told her that I'd had sexual relations of some kind with all of them. For once, I'm also glad that Charlie's not here
"Hey guys" I say with a nervous chuckle "What-what're you all doing back here?"
"Well, Brianna asked us if we wanted to meet up" says Amy looking me up and down as if she was looking for something "You know, for old times' sake and a trip down memory lane - how could I resist?"
"Err, yeah" I say quickly taking their drinks over and scurrying back behind the bar as they all descended into giggles. Probably about me, and my performance in bed. Great. I don't like this one bit
"Take these drinks" I say giving Shannon the tray once I'd finished. I knew I should've stayed with Mum and watched the soap repeats. "I'm gonna take cover in the bathroom until this is all over"
"N'aww, this is the first time I've ever seen you nervous" Shannon says with a laugh, pinching my cheek and taking the tray of drinks from my hands "It's cute."
I am not cute
Sexy? Yes.
Charming? Yes.
Cute? No.
Care bears a cute. I am not a care bear.
So, I turn the corner and head to the bathroom not expecting this afternoon to get any worse then who should walk through the door but Charlotte Bingley, her brothers, Victoria and of course, Darcy Williams.
Fuck fuckitty fuck-fuck-fuck.
"Hey, it's Jack's brother" Victoria declares happily as she and Charlotte make their way over to the bar. Stopping in my tracks I go back behind the pumps and give them both a smile, I have no problem with either of them or Alex - it's Darcy and Carl I'm not a fan of, and they're both giving me evil glares as they set in their booth
"Jack never said you work here" says Charlotte
Well of course not, I doubt his brother's middling career at the local Rugby Club was part of Jack's courting process
"Yeah, I've been here for about two years" I tell her "Having a job helps make the Uni lifestyle a bit more...liveable"
"We never really had to worry about that" says Victoria
Well good for fucking you
I smile.
I've become very good at hiding my irritation at customers remarks
"So, is Jack around?" Charlotte asks
"No. He's at work" I say "He might come in later, he normally needs a drink afterwards. His boss can be quite the ball breaker"
I serve them their drinks and watch as the two head back off to their table and the others, catching their conversation briefly. Victoria and Charlotte were both being very complimentary about me but Darcy just flicked her hair back and drank in silence as everyone around her descended into conversation. I was actually relieved when I returned to the bar to find Brianna there waiting for service
"Sorry if I've made you uncomfortable by bringing every girl you shagged at school here at the same time" she says with a slight laugh monitoring to Amy, Ellie, Jenny and Samantha on the table behind "I didn't think"
"It's alright" I tell her with a smile. It's really not, but why cause a fuss? "Just a bit embarrassing, but hey, it was my slutty behaviour that got me into this mess"
I'm very aware that Darcy has just come to the bar with Victoria waiting to be served and is now probably ear wigging our conversation. All I need.
"Hey, you were never a slut" Brianna says batting me on the arm "There were boys who slept with double the amount of girls you did, you were just young, fit and having fun and besides what does it matter? You were still the sweetest guy, and you never boasted or humiliated any of them by spreading rumours"
Brianna makes me sound a lot more decent than I actually am, she's blinded by her strange love for me. I can tell she herself is still a bit embarrassed about Saturday so I carry the drinks to her table and engage her and her friends in chat for a bit before telling her I'm very much looking forward to her birthday on Friday. Also, talking to them was a good way of procrastinating going back and serving Darcy which I do after she coughs particularly loudly to get my attention
"Sorry 'bout that" I say, focusing all my attention on Victoria as I don't have the stomach to be polite to Darcy. 'Decent Enough' - fuck you.
"It's OK" replies Victoria elbowing Darcy's arm. She rolls her eyes and looks away from the bar. "You're a bit of a lady's man then?"
"I wouldn't say that" I say as I begin getting them their drinks, guess work, rich people never order anything different "I just...how much of that conversation did you here?"
"All of it" murmurs Darcy
Oh listen, it speaks
"Oh." I say, blushing a little I'm ashamed to say "Look, we all did things we regret when were 17. I slept around, some people do drugs, you know..."
"Yeah" says Victoria "I'm totally not judging you or anything, from what that girl you were talking to says you were quite the gentleman"
Darcy coughs.
"Ermm, yeah, I guess you could say that" I say with another nervous chuckle before handing the girls their drinks and watching them return to their table. I can't help but look at Darcy a little, she really is very attractive but it's just ruined by how much of a dick she is. Carl Bingley doesn't think so, he puts his arm around her shoulders as she sits back down next to him and stares at me as if to say "Back off, mine"
You can have her mate.
I clock off a few hours later as some more staff arrive and Shannon's shift has also ended, I did a solid four hours. Both parties of people are still there when I leave; Brianna and my various sexual partners all bid me a flirtatious goodbye whilst the only people from the Bingley table to acknowledge my exit are Victoria and Charlotte whom wave. I wave back, and Carl once again gives me a warning look.
I really don't like that guy
As much as I dislike Darcy, I don't like the fact he has his arms around her like she's some piece of meat that belongs to him
It's not just me he's been giving evils to all afternoon, it's every girl who so much as glanced at Darcy and there were a lot - she's an attractive girl. I also found out from a momentary glance at her purse that she's actually only 22, I'd assumed she was a bit older by her attitude and demeanour - she certainly carried herself like she was in her 30's or something - I'd assumed she was around 27 or 28. From what it seems, Charlotte is 21 and the rest are about 25. I can't help but wonder why they all decided to move into that big house together.
Back to Carl, his possession of Darcy is a little bit creepy and no one in that circle seems to have noticed it. He looks at her constantly, and anytime she gives attention to another guy he gets this furious look on his face. Give the guy a fedora and a subscription to My Little Pony and we'd be all set for an absolute creep. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe he's not some possessive weirdo and I'm just reading the signs wrong because I like neither him or Darcy?
There's something off about him though, and I don't like it.
I get home to find my family about to eat dinner. Marcus is trying to revise at the table, and Kieran and Aiden are fighting over who has to set the table whilst Dad just sits in the corner of the Kitchen reading his newspaper as Mum gets into a flap over burning the chicken. I sidestep the kitchen and head into the living room where Jack is slumped infront of the TV.
"'Sup big bro" I ask him as I sit down next to him
"Nothing much" he replies "How're you?"
"Oh, just spent an afternoon with your girlfriend" I reply. Jack pushes me slightly, but has a smile on his face. Maybe I can get onboard with this Charlotte thing? It's making him this happy, and he's only seen her once but blushes whenever her name is mentioned - she must've had quite an effect on him. A genuine one.
"Yeah, she said" Jack says with a smile holding up his phone "She's been giving me updates about you all afternoon actually, who were the girls that were flirting with you and you being shy? That doesn't seem like you"
"It was Brianna and every girl I had sex with between the ages of 14 and 18" I say in hushed tones. Mum and Dad think I lost my virginity at 17 - and I only admitted that because they walked in on me and Ellie, that actually happens to me disturbingly often now I think about it - they would freak the fuck out if they find out I actually lost my virginity to Amy Collins the day after my fourteenth birthday. That really is too young isn't it? What was wrong with me? It was January 2008, I lost my virginity before America had a black president
Weirdly proud of that.
Jack laughs and pats me on the shoulder, "Oh mate, that could only happen to you" he says shaking his head "I guess that's what Victoria and Darcy were talking about when they sat back down with Charlotte. She was wondering but they wouldn't tell her"
Too bloody right.
"Oh, I've invited Charlotte to Brianna's party on Friday" Jack says
"You already told me that" I say
He smiles. "Oh, I forgot" is his reply, before perking up "Oh yeah, and Charlotte asked if she could bring some people because she won't really know anyone. I said I'd have to check with Brianna first because it's her party an all but I'm sure she'll be fine with it"
Oh for the love of god!
If Charlotte brings Victoria - that's brilliant
If she brings Alex too then I may be able to cope with that
But not the other two.
Jack rings Brianna and asks if he can bring some people. Her reply is that it's fine and wouldn't have mattered anyway, she's apparently already invited Charlotte and all of her posse. It would seem that after I left the club, the two groups merged together and Brianna hit it off with Charlotte and Victoria and invited the whole lot of them to her party on Friday
I'm going to a party with those people
Oh god.
OK, rationalise, as long as I don't end up dancing with Darcy again it won't be that bad.
I can avoid the rest of them as well, the party will be full of people I knew from school who will of course want to ask me about my life
I'll be swamped
It'll be fine
Charlie better be back by then though.
I'll drag him down from Newcastle myself if I have too. I reach for my phone and send Brianna a text reading; "You are aware you just invited my mortal enemy to your party"
"I wasn't aware I'd invited Dido" is her reply
Fuckin' Dido. Hate her.
"No. Though I do hate Dido. Darcy, you fool." I text back
"Oh well. Guess you'll just have to spend time with me when you get here." is her reply
It looks like I might Brianna. It really looks like I might.
Author's Note: This was kind of a fillery chapter I know, but I wanted to have a sort of day in the life kind of thing and I think it was good to have some development in Elijah and Darcy's relationship, which at now is full on silence and pretending to ignore each other but never fear...the snark wars will begin soon, and Elijah may finally have met his snarky match in Darcy
Some replies to review's now:
Dizzy Lizzy.60: Thank you for all of your reviews thus far and I'm really digging your enthusiasm for my story. In reply to your last review, Darcy is 22 years old so Elijah could end up being a bit of a toy boy - but I don't think he'd mind that one bit!
Jessy: Haha! Yes, I know the feeling of having a lot of teenage guys around too. There are six male teenage cousins in my family, and it's pretty damn hectic and one of my main reasons for wanting to do this. There's so much comedy and laughs to be had by chucking these 5 young boys who are all very different together
LoveInTheBattleField: Sorry, I don't really like Sailor Moon but I'm glad you're enjoying my story!
WendyWho: Glad you're finding this so funny! It's comedy above all else for me, and Elijah's one of the funniest characters I've ever written. Snarky with a heart of gold characters are my favourites. As for cast, not particularly - though from the description I've given him in my head Elijah is Greg Sulkin who is very handsome and about the same age
