7.

Late that morning, Spock went to see Doctor McCoy about the sleeping aid, saying only that he had become extremely dehydrated. "That led to consequences which I will keep private, but were quite undesirable," he finished.

McCoy frowned at him, taking a reading with his medical scanner, thought a second, and consulted his computer. "Oh, goddamn it," the doctor muttered. "Spock, I apologize. I gave you a dose for a full Vulcan, not … one with Human ancestry. No wonder you got so dehydrated. That does it -- I'm requesting a Vulcan specialist be assigned to this ship as soon as we're back. Then, between the two of us, we just might manage to practice the right kind of medicine on you."

"It is my hope, Doctor, that both of you will know what to do immediately, without any sort of practice," Spock said, raising an eyebrow.

McCoy narrowed his eyes at the commander and took the vial of pills from him. He returned a few minutes later with the properly proportioned medication. "Here you go, Spock. Keep taking them for a while, because you need the undisturbed rest. You're exhausted."

Having thought over Doctor McCoy's advice of the previous day, Sarek appeared at Spock's door that afternoon, attired in meditation robes from the Enterprise's clothing processor. The material was not truly as luxurious as Sarek preferred [although it had that appearance], but it was serviceable; Sarek supposed that this would be a reality in his future, since many of his personal assets had disappeared into the black hole that had once been the Vulcan system. His burning anger at losing Amanda and losing his world was already directed and mentally channeled toward establishing a new colony for Vulcan. But Spock, perhaps, had need of more. In any case, Sarek had a request to fulfill.

"Father. Please come in."

"Spock, I inquire as to your well-being."

"I am well enough, Father."

Sarek, an ambassador for many years, could read his son admirably, despite Spock's attempts to minimize his reactions. Spock appeared exhausted. Sarek simply stood with his son, silently watching him, staying present in the moment together. Eventually he said, "Will you come sit in meditation with me?"

"Do you not prefer to meditate alone?"

"I had a wife to return to. Now I do not."

Spock looked sharply at him. Sarek did not normally speak so bluntly.

"Very well, Father. I will accompany you."

Spock and his father went forward, to the Observation Deck. There was a room for meditation which Sarek had scheduled daily for this hour. Spock had begun meditating in the middle of the ship's "night;" Sarek had noticed his name on the schedule, and pointed it out.

"You normally rest or perform scientific research or do other things in your quarters during this hour, do you not, my son? Why have you begun keeping this schedule?"

"My rest has been disturbed, and I have not been able to concentrate to the degree required for research."

They seated themselves but Sarek had not yet lit the candles, nor did they assume the meditative posture. Sarek watched his son.

Spock bowed his head. "I have been dreaming," he said in a low voice.

"It is quite normal for dreams to occur after significant life events," Sarek said.

"…in Humans, Father. Not in Vulcans."

"Really? I have dreamt of your mother every rest period since her death."

Spock raised his eyes to meet Sarek's. "You …? I have had dreams of death and destruction every night … and I not only lose Mother, I lose Nyota too." He sighed. "I also had a dream that I succeeded in breaking Kirk's neck. Father, how can I reconcile myself to what he did, and what I did?"

"Humans seem to desire catharsis after a trauma."

"He provoked me to help me to catharsis?"

Sarek said, "Kirk understands only your emotional side. I believe he thought it necessary to wrest control of the ship from you, as you would not voluntarily take yourself off duty. While your loyalty to Captain Pike's orders was admirable, it seemed to interfere with your capability to see everything clearly."

"Captain Pike was a significant mentor to me at Starfleet Academy."

"A father figure, when I would not be.'

"There are different types of fathers, Sarek."

"I was one type before, my son. Now I endeavor to be one who honors you as you are."

"We have each done the best we could." There was a pause, and Spock took a deep breath. "Father, do you forgive me?"

"For joining Starfl --?"

"For Mother's death," Spock said.

"It is not you who are to blame, Spock. That person is Nero. He drilled into the planet's core and inserted Red Matter. He caused the earthquakes and the singularity. The dropping away of rocks beneath your mother's feet meant that she dropped out of the transporter coordinates. I have spoken with Ensign Chekov about this."

"But I was holding her arm …"

"And she stepped away from you, Spock. She was always very aware of your dignity as a Starfleet officer. And she turned to reassure you that she was alright. I saw this. I saw … her last moments."

Father and son looked at each other, then deeply engaged their gazes. Spock felt a sensation from Sarek he had not since he was a little child -- a deep, abiding love, free of judgement.

After a while, Sarek broke the comfortable silence. "Spock, your mother asked me to do something when the seismic shifts began. On our way to the Katric Ark she said that "in case anything were to happen to her," she wanted me to … celebrate her life with you. That you and I should join in meditation, or better still, in a mind-meld, and recall memories of her. Would you be willing?"

Spock's eyes looked so much like his mother's, and now they shone in the same way.

"I would be honored, my father," he said huskily.