Dark by S. Park

Part seven Beneath the Surface

We rode on the next day. For a long time I brooded in silence, but the fear that nibbled around the edges of my mind wouldn't let me think in peace. I ought to be getting used to it, but I wasn't, it was still just as bad as it had ever been. Fanning the fires of my hatred could push fear aside for a time, but it always came back.

Finally in something approaching desperation I moved to ride level with Link and tried once again to engage him in conversation.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know," said Link.

"You're taking an awfully straight course for somebody who doesn't know where he's going," I said irritably.

Link chuckled. "Well, I do know my first goal. I am leaving Hyrule. But I have no idea where I will go once I am outside its borders. I know very little of the world out there."

"Leaving Hyrule?" Once again he had startled me. "Why?"

"Hyrule doesn't need me."

"You mean since Ganondorf is dead now," I said bitterly.

"Yes," was his only reply, apparently he'd used up his allotment of words for the day.

I growled in irritation, the rage in me building. "How?" I finally burst out. "How were you able to beat him?"

Link looked solemnly over at me. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

"I... it just does! It should be impossible. Darkness is stronger than light, I know that! And he was the strongest dark mage in the world. You're not that strong! You're me, and I was no match for him. How is it possible for you to beat him?"

"I had help, for one thing. The light arrows were his weakness, and the Master Sword's power. But his own arrogance was his greatest weakness. And I see he's given it to you as well."

"What?"

"You say that darkness is stronger than light?"

"Yes!"

Link shook his head. "Your own experience should tell you otherwise. You are me, as you say. Dark me. And yet I beat you. If darkness is stronger, shouldn't you have won? If darkness was stronger, Ganondorf would have won."

"You had the hammer, if I'd had that I could have beaten you."

"Really? And what of Ganondorf then?"

"The light arrows, as you said. You found one weakness, nobody is perfect."

"Ah but remember, it was the fact that they were light arrows that made them so strong against him. Light. And he was darkness. Light drives out darkness, Dark. Lighting a candle lessens the shadows in a room, but no shadow can lessen a candle's light. Light is the stronger."

"No, you're wrong," I insisted. "No matter how many candles you light, everything still casts a shadow. Dark is eternal, it can't be destroyed."

Link fell silent, and I smiled smugly. I was right, I knew it. He had no rebuttal for me, because there was none.

The sun moved across the sky, and we moved across the plains below. My smug satisfaction at winning our argument was a small bit of armor against the fear that gnawed at me constantly. I would be very glad when we reached the far side of the plains and the hilly country there.

When the sun was nearing the horizon Link suddenly spoke up, startling me.

"Dark? Tell me, where did you come from?"

I turned my head and blinked at him. "I'm your shadow, you know that."

Link shook his head. "Shadows do not detach themselves and attack their owners of their own volition. Something caused you to come to life."

"Well... yes."

"Ganondorf made you, didn't he?"

"Yes..."

"Perhaps you should think about it then. You and I are very much alike. You have my form, my memories, and my skills. What do you think is the source of the differences between us?"

I had never thought about it. I was his dark half, so of course I would be different. I shook my head. "I don't know... I'm your shadow, shouldn't I be different? Opposite from you?"

Link chuckled. "You're left handed."

"Huh?"

"You're not my physical opposite, what makes you think you have to be my moral opposite?"

I floundered, suddenly feeling lost. Of course I was his moral opposite, I was the dark to his light. My name was Dark! I belonged to Ganondorf, I was on the side of evil. Yes, that was it. "I'm one of Ganondorf's creations though, I have to be evil."

"Ah yes. Ganondorf. Who believed that darkness was stronger than light, as you do."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that you are not necessarily a being of evil. You're me, Dark. We have our differences, yes, but we're more alike than different. And think about this. You're convinced that darkness is the stronger force. Where did that conviction come from? Because the facts suggest otherwise, Dark."

"I..."

"Just think about it," he interrupted.

"You're awfully verbose all of the sudden," I growled.

He smiled. "I don't waste words. But that doesn't mean I can't use them when they're necessary. They're like any other tool."

I glared at him, but I had no response. His argument made me profoundly uneasy. I knew dark was stronger because it was true. So what if Ganondorf had thought the same? We were both creatures of evil, we were willing to see the truths that soft, civilized beings of light denied, that was all. But if I said that, Link would no doubt find some way to turn the argument on its head and make me feel wrong, even though I knew I was right. I was Link's dark side, and I was going to kill him. I clung to that conviction as we rode as firmly as I clung to my saddle.

When we made camp that night I rolled myself in my blankets in silence, my back to where Link sat by the fire. I didn't want any further conversation with him, I decided I preferred it when he was acting like he was mute.

The next morning saw us finally to the edge of Hyrule Field. The closer the hills in the distance got the better I felt, and finally we were among them, and there was something between me and the horizon on all sides. I sighed in relief. If I had my way I would never cross Hyrule Field again.

There was no road among the hills, Hyrule had little contact with other kingdoms. All I knew of them was that they existed, that Hyrule was not the whole of the world. I wondered if Link knew anything more. It seemed unlikely. We were going into a complete unknown, but some part of me thrilled at that idea. There would be challenges to meet, places to explore, dangers to face, and the thought of such things stirred something in me. I found myself riding a little straighter, scanning the slopes around us for possible danger. Link was doing the same. Our eyes met briefly and he smiled wryly at me. Here was another way in which we were more alike than different.

After a day of riding among the hills we reached the shores of a lake. It was larger than Lake Hyrule, the far shore of it was misty in the distance. Link dismounted next to a stream that flowed into it, and I climbed down to help him set up camp.

With our bedrolls spread and a fire lit, we sat and watched the sun set over the lake. The sound of running water filled the silence, but soon it was joined by Link's ocarina. I took out my own and lifted it to my lips. As I had known every move he would make in combat, somehow I knew what he would play, and I found I could harmonize with him, the two instruments blending together, two notes and yet still one song. I didn't fight against the peace that the song brought this time. I was growing tired of constant turmoil.

I slept soundly that night, and woke with the dawn. Link still managed to wake before me, and I found him preparing breakfast. After we'd both eaten he looked out over the lake, the early morning sunlight gleaming on the water, and smiled. "I think it's time for a break. We're not on any particular schedule, but we've set a rapid pace these last few days. And I feel like a swim."

He sat down and took off his boots. Then he shed his sword, shield, and other gear as well.

My pulse suddenly raced. This was it.

He pulled his green tunic off over his head. I eased the sword and shield I carried to the ground as well, trying to avoid drawing his attention. He had obviously forgotten, after so much time spent together, that I was dangerous. Just as I'd hoped! He was side-on to me, he'd see if I made any sudden movements, so I walked towards him slowly, my hand on the dagger's hilt.

He pulled his blue tunic from his bag, the one that would allow him to breathe under water. I had no such shirt, but that shouldn't matter. I had the dagger, he had no weapon at all.

Without looking at me he turned and walked into the water. I walked a little faster, almost at his side, but then he dived into the lake. I cursed under my breath and followed after him, dagger now drawn.

The water was clear but cold, it hit me with a freezing shock. Beneath the surface I opened my eyes and looked around. At first I didn't see him, then I realized that he was practically beneath me, crouched on the sandy lake bottom. With a silent snarl I swung the dagger at him, cursing the way the water hindered my motions. He turned and caught my wrist, and I cursed silently again. He should have been unprepared, how had he known the blow was coming?

I struggled to free my hand and try again, but he only latched on with his other hand as well. I hissed defiance at him in a cloud of bubbles and fought harder. He was still, infuriatingly, as calm as ever. And his hands were gripping me so tightly that my hand was going numb. I clawed at him with my free hand, leaving bloody scratches on his hands and wrists, but he didn't flinch. The need to breathe was growing, my chest had started to ache. Suddenly panic filled me. He could stay here, holding me down, for as long as he needed. But I couldn't. I had to surface, and soon. I thrashed, kicking and clawing at him, but he stubbornly held on, no matter what I did. Finally I dropped the dagger, letting it fall from my nearly numb fingers, and instantly he let go. I clawed my way to the surface and broke into the air with a frantic gasp.

Link surfaced near me, and I cursed him breathlessly, using every insult and swear word I could think of. He simply swam towards the shore, no doubt thinking this was over. But I was too enraged to let him go, I swam after him and when we'd both reached a point where we could walk I tackled him from behind, sending him sprawling in the shallow water near shore.

"Damn you! Why won't you just die!"

He grunted and tried to squirm out from beneath me. I tried to get a grip on him to pin him, but he managed to get partially free and roll away from me. I dived after him again, this time pinning him in the shallows, in a foot or so of water. It did him no harm since he was still wearing that damnable tunic. But he managed to get a foot planted in the muddy lake bed and next thing I knew he'd rolled me over and I was the one beneath the water. "Give up," he said, though his voice was strangely muffled by the water. I shook my head and tried to get enough leverage to return the favor and roll him over instead. But he was sitting on my thighs, keeping me from using my legs. He'd only gotten one of my wrists, and I punched him with the other hand. He tried to grab my free arm. I kept it away from him somehow. I was starting to panic again, I needed to breathe!

Link gave up on getting my hand and just put his free hand on my shoulder, keeping me pinned. I hit him again and again but he didn't budge. "Give in, Dark," he said determinedly. I couldn't hold my breath any longer, but I was not going to give in. I'd drown first.

Suddenly Link sat back, still gripping one wrist but no longer pinning me. I managed to lift my head enough to get it above the surface and gasp a breath. I twisted out from under him and pulled as hard as I could, trying to free my wrist. But he just came with me, letting me draw him further towards the shore, until we were on solid, if muddy ground. Then with a shout he shoved me down. I pulled him with me and we both sprawled again in the mud, him atop me. But this time I didn't need to worry about drowning. So I just hit him as hard as I could with my free hand, striking again and again, until finally he managed to capture that too.

He pinned both hands to the ground and shifted, making sure he had me trapped under his weight. I snarled at him in useless defiance. We were well matched in strength, but leverage was on his side now and I knew I had lost. He was disheveled and panting, and his lip was split where I'd hit him, a trickle of blood running down his chin. He was also covered in mud, as was I. He'd lost his hat, and his hair was plastered to his head with muck. He just sat there for a moment, catching his breath.

"Damn you," I said.

He shook his head and looked down at me with that same unflappable calm.

"You should have died!"

Link sighed. "Dark... you can't sneak up on me. You should know that. The sooner you stop trying, the better off we'll both be."

I cursed again. Of course. He'd known the moment I'd thought my chance had come. That damnable bond between us. It let me follow him, but it also warned him. I couldn't best him in straight combat, and I couldn't sneak up on him. I had failed. I would always fail. I felt hot, shameful tears welling up in my eyes.

Link looked down at me with gentle sympathy and let go his grip on my wrists. His pity fanned my rage again. How dare he look at me like that! How dare he be so calm, so condescending! I would find some way to shake that infuriating calm. Even if I couldn't kill him I could do that much! I would somehow add ripples to the calm of those blue eyes.

I'm not sure where the impulse for my next action came from. Somewhere in the back of my mind something I didn't want to examine was working. But as soon as the thought came I knew that it would shake Link, I didn't have to think about it, I just knew. So I acted on the impulse without hesitation. My hand shot up, and Link flinched, but this time I wasn't trying to hit him. I grabbed a handful of mud-smeared golden hair and pulled him down to me, and I kissed him, hard and passionate.

He froze in utter shock.

I let go of his hair and lay back in the mud, laughing. "You should see your face," I said. His cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were wide. I'd made a few ripples indeed. Suddenly I felt much better.

"What in the name of the Three is wrong with you?" he said, still looking stunned. I could sense his shock.

"Well if I can't kill you, at least I can succeed in ruffling your feathers a bit," I said.

"You're a lunatic."

"So are you! You're the one who brought the person who wants you dead you along with you on this little adventure. So I guess we are still alike."

"I never would have done... that."

I laughed again. "Let me up, or I'll do it again. Or find something worse to do."

Link flushed even brighter and immediately got up off of me. "I'm going to go wash off, which is what I intended to do in the first place," said Link.

"Yeah, good idea," I said with a sigh, some of the manic glee that had filled me dying away.

"Dark..." Link looked at me, still a little uncertain and flushed. "Why do you hate me?"

"I..." I stopped. Why did I? Something about the question made me uneasy. I knew there was a reason, but what? Then I remembered that night in the dungeon, remembering sunlight and warmth. I had hated him because he had given me the memory of what I could never have. I looked up at the sunny sky above me. Was that all? Surely there was another reason. Yes, there must be. I just couldn't think of it right now, but there was a reason behind my hatred, Link deserved to die, I knew he did. "I just do," I finally said.

"You just hate me." Link shook his head. "Perhaps the way you 'just know' that darkness is superior to light?"

I glared at him. "Not that again."

Link sighed. "Just think about it, Dark."

"Fine. I'll think about it. After I get clean." I picked myself up and stalked back to the water.

I had rinsed off fairly well when I heard Link come up behind me. I tensed, expecting another confrontation, but he just silently handed me a bar of soap. "Thanks," I muttered and took it. He gave me an annoyed look, but left me in peace to finish washing.