Juice was awoken by a soft smattering of kisses on his neck. He turned his head, the only not aching spot on his body, and smiled weakly. "Morning, Sir."
"Good morning, Juice." He pressed a kiss to his mouth. "How are you feeling?"
"Good..." Juice lied, starting to rise. His body screamed in protest, each welt burning anew. Tig helped him to his feet, grimacing when Juice grunted and sat down. "Sorry..." He whispered, struggling to stand again. "Don't apologize, Pet... This was my fault... I pushed you too fucking far."
"I deserved it." Juice mumbled. He knelt in front of Tig and gently hugged his legs. "Am I forgiven?" Tig stroked his head gently and knelt, grabbing his face and pressing kisses all over it. "A million times over, Juice. I love you." Juice smiled proudly. "Thank you... I love you too." He smiled. "Lemme give you a bath before work... Are you gonna stay here?"
"I can't walk... Only you and Jax know I'm back... I want a few days to myself." Tig nodded. "I can respect that. I'll come home early tonight and we'll have a night to ourselves, okay?" Juice smiled, his eyes round and innocent. "I'd really like that." Tig smiled and nodded,helping Juice to his feet. "Did you let Serotah out?" Juice mumbled, trying to distract from the pain in his feet. "Yes... You haven't seen her yet huh?" Juice shook his head, letting Tig help him into the tub. He turned on the water and got in behind Juice, kissing over his neck. "I missed having you next to me..." He admitted. Juice leaned back onto his chest, his eyes closed. "I missed you all around." Tig began to wash him gently, cautious of the broken skin and bruises. "Fuck..." He breathed when he looked over the whole of Juice's back. "I will never beat you like this again."
"It turned me on until I felt the blood..." Juice said with a half shrug. Tig sighed weakly. He washed over Juices front, soaping his bare hand and gently sliding it over Juice's limp shaft. Juice gasped, his body reacting immediately. "Sir, I thought sex was being withheld." Tig kissed over his neck. "I need to see you happy... Knowing I fucking hurt you... Made you so sad... I have to fix it, somehow." Juice gave a soft moan, arching against his hand. "Would you like to take me?" He breathed, his cock aching in Tig's grip. "What do you want?" Tig asked, his breath hot on Juice's shoulder. "Whatever you do..." Tig sighed. "I want to please you with no pain." Juice smiled softly. "Then what good am I, Sir? I'm here to be hurt." Tig shook his head. "That's one side of you, Juice. You're more than a pet to me. You're my lover. You're my Old Man... Fuck, you are the first fucking person I've seriously considered spending the rest of my life with. That means so fucking much, Juice. You are everything to me." Juice moved to face Tig in the tub, pushing his hand away. "Do you mean that?"
"I don't say shit I don't mean, dummy." Tig snapped, trying to look annoyed, but only looking self conscious. "I love you... Everything about you. Last night did scare me... But we'll get past it. I trust you, Tiggy." He grabbed Tig's hand and kissed the palm before setting it on his thigh. He ran his own fingers over his hip tattoo, smiling softly at Tig. "I wouldn't have let this happen if i didn't." Tig nodded, brushing his hand over it as well. He leaned forward and caught Juice's mouth in a needy kiss, pulling him tight to his body. He held his arms, careful not to put weight on any spot that was injured.
Juice settled onto his lap, arching his hips to brush their cocks together playfully. Tig groaned and pulled away, kissing over Juice's chest. He bit down on his nipple and Juice jerked, moaning loudly. He reached between them and grabbed Tig's hand, bringing it around to his ass. Tig looked at him worriedly. "Will it hurt you if we do this?" Juice shrugged. "A little, but my shoulder blades got the worst of it... The pain from my ass will just make me hotter." He blushed a little. "Plus it'll be sexy fucking you in the bath." Tig chuckled and nodded, pushing Juice a little further up to get his rear out of the warm water. He teased his thumb over the entrance and Juice whimpered, his eyes slipping shut. He arched against Tig's hand. "I need it..." He whispered, gently humping Tig's fingers as he pressed two against the entrance. "Please... I need you inside me... I feel so empty..." Juice panted. Tig pressed his hand to his mouth. "I don't need you to talk dirty... Just watching you is sexy enough... I'm not your Master right now, I'm just your lover." Juice blushed. "I don't care if you're my Master, lover, or brother... When I've gone more than a few days without you inside me at least once, I feel empty... Like a piece of me is missing. I know it's a part of who I am, but it's so involved that even as equals... I can feel it." Tig chuckled a little. "My dick can't possibly feel that good."
"It does... You fucking me makes me feel... Amazing." Juice pressed down on the fingers again, giving a little gasp when Tig pushed them in. He pulled himself free and Tig smirked. "Wanna go back to wearing your plug on a daily basis?"
"Yes... And my belt." Tig nodded and slipped his fingers back inside Juice, stretching him slowly. Juice moaned gently, riding the hand. "Do you really like that belt?"
"Mhm..." He whispered. "Knowing you control every aspect... My hard ons, my orgasms... It's such a turn on... And the plug... You don't need to stretch me... You can just bend me over, pull it out and start fucking me, anywhere you want to.. I love that feeling, knowing you can use me just as easily behind the clubhouse as you could in bed... Makes it so fucking dirty... Makes me feel like a sex toy..." He looked down at Tig, his eyes so filled with lust they were almost black.
"I need you inside me, Tig... Please..." He panted, nearly begging. Tig let out a heady moan, freeing his fingers. He pulled Juice forward and pressed his tip to the opening, letting Juice slide his body onto it. When he was fully impaled he gave a happy sigh, clenching his rear end, flexing Tig inside him. "So nice." He whispered, wiggling down onto the cock further. "Do you want me to ride you?" He panted. Tig growled. "Of course."
"Hard or gentle?" Tig smirked. "Gentle at first... I love how innocent you look when you're making love to me... Then start fucking me." He pinched Juice's nipple and settled against the wall of the tub as Juice began to ride him, slow and seductive, each inward thrust a new angle, his body making small gyrations that sent pins and shivers straight to Tig's balls.
His lover began to ride him more forcefully, bit by bit, until he was fucking himself onto Tig's dick, pulling almost completely off and slamming down. He screamed happily each time Tig would arch into it, his ass slapping hard off Tig's hips. "Can I cum?" He finally panted, his short nails digging into Tig's shoulders. "No... Hold it back, baby..." He grabbed Juice's hips, stilling him, and began to rut into him with hard, circular thrusts. Juice sobbed, his head tossed back. Tig slammed hard into him, holding completely still, a silent groan on his lips. Juice felt himself filled with Tig's fluids, and began to hump him gently. When Tig relaxed, he began to jerk off, but Tig batted his hands away. "Slide up here..." He breathed. Juice obeyed, gasping when Tig wrapped his lips around Juice's swollen tip. He began to suck him off skillfully. He didn't have long to show off though, Juice released within five minutes, crying his name.
! #$%^&*()
Juice settled onto the couch when Tig left. The older man had given him a few oxys and parked him on the couch. He'd warned him that Chibs would be over at some point to pick up things for dinner, and to duck into the bedroom if he'd want to keep himself hidden. He'd planned on it, but wanted to relax, at least for a bit. He stretched out on his belly, his back and shoulders throbbing. Despite his attempts, the pills knocked him out before twenty minutes had passed.
! #$%^&*()
Chibs pulled up to the house, shutting off his bike. He sighed a little, looking over it. He missed Juice. Surprisingly. The kid annoyed him when he was present, but the Clubhouse without their Puerto Rican brother just felt... Different. Tig was keeping tight lipped about New York. Saying he didn't know when Juice would be back, but Chibs had his suspicions... Something had happened.
He sighed and walked up to the door, snagging Tig's keys from his pocket and letting himself in. First look, Tig left the tv on. When he looked to the left though, he barked a string of curses. Juice was on the couch, nude. His body was striped with welts and bruises, shoulders, ass, legs, even his feet. Many of the welts were scabbed over.
Juice heard the shout and moved as well as he could. He saw Chibs and yelped, searching madly for his clothes. Unable to find them, he flipped onto his back and pulled his knees up, the movement bringing tears to his eyes despite the painkillers. Chibs went towards him and froze when he flinched. "Did Tig do this to you?!" He snarled. Juice flinched again, glancing worriedly for the door. "I meant to go to the bedroom... I'm sorry..." He whispered, tears immediately filling his eyes. Chibs relaxed immediately and knelt in front of his brother. "Juicy..." Juice looked at him and Chibs scowled. "What're you on?"
"Tig gave me some oxys for the pain..."
"How many?"
"Three." Chibs snarled, rubbing his temples. "What did he do, Juice?" Juice shook his head. "I'll go to the bedroom."
"Stop it! God damnit why did he do this?!" Juice flinched and began to cry silently. "I was bad... I was just being punished."
"That's not fucking punishment, Juice! That's beating you! Fuck!" Chibs rose and began to pace, his face flushed red with anger. "I told him if he fucking hurt you I would fucking kill him. Jesus fucking Christ. What'd you do to possibly deserve this?" Juice shook his head, remaining tight lipped. Chibs stopped, staring at Juice. "You really think you deserve this life... This abuse." Juice furrowed his brows. "It isn't abuse..."
"That is!" Chibs motioned to the nude form. "I've done the research on your fucking lifestyle, brother! I know what's what! Stop acting like it's fine!" The tears overflowed again and Juice ducked his head. "He stopped when I said the safeword..." He muttered defensively. "Yeah? And how long did you suffer before you had a panic attack and couldn't fucking bite back the word, huh? I know you, Juice! You will die trying to please that fucker and for what I don't fucking know!"
"I love him, and he loves me..." Juice whispered. "No. This isn't love. I'm done standing by for this shit. Come here." Juice looked at him, panicked. "For fucks sake, I've seen you fucking naked before. Get over here." Juice whimpered softly. "I can't..." He breathed. "Why not?"
"I can't walk."
"Excuse me?" Juice moved enough to show the bottom of his feet. "He punished me for standing up when I wasn't supposed to..."
"Jesus fucking Christ!" Chibs turned. He made for the door and Juice yelped. "What are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna fucking kill him!" Juice rose, falling over his own sore feet. He crawled to Chibs, whimpering. "No, no, no, please..." He grabbed his jeans leg, lowering his head. "You aren't my fucking submissive, Juicy. You're my brother. And I need to keep you safe." He knelt and lifted Juices tear stained face. "I can't let him keep hurting you like this." Juice shook his head, pleading silently with his eyes. Chibs pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth and rose, storming out. Juice sat flat on the floor and began to cry, terrified.
! #$%^&*()
Tig was leaned into the engine of a car when Chibs roared up. He parked his bike haphazardly and jumped off, yanking off his rings and shoving them into his jeans pockets as he did so. He discarded his cut on the nearby picnic table. Jax scowled and took a step in front of the fast approaching Chibs, meaning to divert his attention and calm him. He knew that look, it meant back the fuck up when Chibs wore it.
The older man took no concern to Jax, shoving him out of the way. He grabbed Tig by the back of the neck and yanked him up, shoving him back. Tig scowled, confused. "What the fuck?" Was all he could manage before Chibs punched him, splitting his lips on his teeth. The older man leapt on Tig then, pummeling him with fists and elbows. Tig fought back as well as he could from his position, confused and trying more to protect himself than hurt his brother.
Jax, Bobby, and Clay worked to wrestle the rabid Scotsman off their brother, finally wrangling him. Clay pinned his arms until he calmed down enough to speak in more than curses. Jax helped Tig up and Tig wiped his mouth, spitting a mouthful of blood.
"What the fuck was that?!" Jax snapped, turning an angry expression to Chibs. "That motherfucker." Chibs snarled, his eyes trained on Tig with pure rage in them. "Juice is fucking home... Motherfucker... I saw what you fucking did you fucking prick!"
"Calm the fuck down!" Jax snapped. "Yes, Juice came home yesterday... What's the big fucking deal?" Chibs shook his head, yanking free of Clay and sitting on the picnic table. He lit a cigarette and pointed an accusing finger to Tig. "Ask him."
"What the fuck happened, Chibs." Clay asked calmly. Chibs shook his head, taking long drags. Jax nodded his head to the door. "Take a walk, brother." He said softly to Tig, who scowled deeper but nodded. He disappeared into the clubhouse.
Jax sat next to Chibs and set a hand on his shoulder. "What's going on?" Chibs shook his head. "Juice came home yesterday you said?"
"Yeah, early, mid morning I think. He took the bus, had me pick him up from Stockton... He asked me not to tell anyone, wanted to unwind a few days before anyone knew he was home. I figured I could respect that." Clay nodded in agreement. "Tig wasn't there when he got home, was he?" Chibs asked softly. "No, not that I know of. I spent yesterday with Ray, I'm not sure..."
"He left the garage about five."
"So that's probably when he saw Juice." Chibs shook his head, cussing again. "He beat the living shit out of him, Jackie Boy." He whispered. "Yeah, they're into BDSM, Chibs... That's normal."
"No. Not what he did. There's beating for play and punishment, whatever... Then there's aiming to hurt. Come on, you must talk to Ray about this fucking shit... People like him and Juice wanna be hurt, but not too far... What Tig did was too far. For Christsake!" He shook his head. "The boy can't fucking stand up, Jax... Tig whipped the bottom of his fucking feet so he has to crawl around on his fucking hands and knees." Jax pulled back, his eyes widening a little. "What?" Chibs shrugged. "His legs are fucked too, they've got welts all over them... His fucking ass is covered in bruises and welts... And his shoulders are beat to shit. Tig fucking drew blood. He beat the boy until he bled." Jax shook his head in disbelief. "Tig isn't... He loves Juice."
"He loves control. Give him something he can control someone in, he'll fucking run with it... He beat the kid fucking bloody then popped him on the couch and doped him up with fucking oxys so he could go to work. Juice was fucking passed out on the couch, he can't even fucking wear clothes he hurts so bad... He couldn't stand up, Jax!" Jax shook his head, rising. "Where are you going?" Clay asked. "I'm going to check on our brother."
"Jax... That's a bad idea." Clay warned. "Why? If he's that bad he shouldn't be alone."
"Maybe not... But what if Chibs is wrong?"
"I'm not!" Chibs snapped. Clay scowled at him. "Send Gemma."
"No. For fuck's sake that's the last thing he needs. He needs a brother." Chibs rose. "I'll go. I'll get him and bring him to my place tonight..." Jax nodded. "I'll go talk to Tig."
"If I see him so much as look at that boy I'm gonna fucking kill him." Chibs snapped. "I fucking warned Juice! I warned him that Tig was trouble." Jax nodded gently.
He turned to the clubhouse door when it opened, and Tig stepped out. "Conversation done?" He asked. Chibs glared. Jax stepped up and took his arm. "What'd you do to Juice?" He whispered. Tig scowled and shook his head. "What?"
"Did you hurt Juice?" Jax asked, his voice low and stern. The lines deepened between his brows, then disappeared. "Shit... Chibs saw Juice when he went to my place, didn't he?" He ducked his head and cussed. "Fuck, I told Juice to stay in the fucking bedroom..."
"Why, Tig?" Jax snapped, startling Tig into looking up at him. "Why did Juice have to hide from him?!" Tig shook his head. "He didn't! He didn't want anyone knowing he was here!" Jax's eyes tightened to squints. "I need you to tell me the fucking truth, Tigger. If I go over there now, will Juice be able to fucking stand and open that door with clothes on?" Tig swallowed hard and diverted his gaze from Jax's. "Probably not."
"What did you do to him?"
"That's really no one's fucking business, Jax. My fucking private relationships don't affect the club."
"They do when you're beating the living shit out of a brother!" Jax snapped, slamming his palm against the wall next to Tig's head. "I swear, Tig, if it's as bad as Chibs says it is and you don't have a really good fucking reason why, I will fucking kill you myself." Tig shoved Jax hard, making him take a few steps backwards. "Get out of my fucking face! I lost my temper okay?! Yes, it's that fucking bad, the poor fucking guy can't even stand up. I beat the shit out of him! You think I'm happy I did it!?" Clay approached them carefully, setting a hand on Jax's shoulder. "You need to calm the fuck down, Tig." He said quietly. Tig snarled and shoved Jax out of the way. He approached the table Chibs was sitting at, lighting a cigarette. He turned then, and pointed at Jax. "This life isn't easy, kid. It's not fucking fun. You can't fucking blame me when things go wrong." Jax's eyes formed slits. "Yes, I can. Because you chose it. You chose to let Juice into your fucking life. Knowing. Understanding, what, and who he was. You made him promises, Tigger. I know you did. I made those same promises to Ray. And you broke them."
"I know!" Tig shouted, throwing his cigarette to the ground. "I fucking know! I beat the shit out of him! He had to use his fucking safeword! I feel like fucking shit looking at what I did, let alone thinking about it! I'm sorry! Jesus Christ, I didn't mean to go so far!" He dropped to a squat, putting his face in his hands. Chibs, across the way, rose, and walked toward him. He squatted next to Tig. "Why did you do it, brother? You know how sensitive the boy is... What possessed you to do it?" Tig shook his head, his face buried. He picked up his cigarette with shaking hands and sat flat down, rubbing his temples. "He... Fuck... I just got so mad. I don't want to talk about it..."
"What made you beat the shit out of him?"
"He cheated." Tig snapped. "And you fucking haven't?" Chibs replied, his face darkening with anger again. "That's beside the point."
"No, it isn't. The night you came back to fucking Charming you got that hooker. Does he know about that, huh?"
"He doesn't care if I fuck other people."
"Then you fucking shouldn't either... Jesus Christ, you did that to him because he fucking cheated?" Tig shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Fucking get out of my face."
"Oh, I will. I'm going to get Juice. I don't want you fucking near him unless it's club business, understand me?" Tig looked at Chibs, sneering. "He won't fucking go with you. He's over it, Chibs. He knows I didn't mean to."
"He thinks he deserves it."
"No, he doesn't... He said-"
"He said what? That it's okay? That he understands?" Chibs shook his head. "You fucking moron, that's what he's trained to say! What's he gonna say after you beat the living fuck out of him? That you were in the wrong? Jesus Christ... If you're gonna manipulate someone like him at least learn how they are first."
Tig went pale. He hadn't even thought about that aspect. He rose quickly, crushing out his cigarette. "Jesus, I left him alone with drugs and fucking... Fuck!" He headed toward the bikes, but Chibs grabbed him. "I'm coming with you." Tig snarled but pulled free of his grip, not arguing. The two rode off, leaving a very confused Jax and Clay behind.
Clay looked over at his son. "What the fuck just happened?" Jax sighed. "If they're right... We may have a problem with Juice..." He sat down and lit a cigarette, shaking his head. "What promises, Jax?" Jax looked up. "Hm?"
"You mentioned making promises... To Ray... What promises?" Jax blushed a little and shrugged. "Nothing really..."
"Something you wanna tell me, son?" Jax shook his head. "Just things we talk about, Clay... It's not a big deal."
"It is if you're hiding something... Are you and Ray more than casual?" Jax sighed and looked up at Clay. "Yeah. We're getting pretty heavy. He wants me as his owner." Clay scowled and rubbed his temples. "Jesus, Jax... Everyone is going to throw a fit."
"You, Piney, and mom will throw a fit. No one else gives a fuck... But I didn't want to being it out because I don't feel like getting Mom's shit." Clay sighed and nodded. "How long?"
"About two weeks now. Shortly before Juice and Tig took off for New York. He's moving in with me next month." Clay sat next to Jax. "Does he do the same shit that Juice does... The hitting and stuff?" Jax nodded. "I'm not as into it, but he loves it... He's not as addicted to it as Juice seems to be... He can hold a normal conversation with me, but he doesn't like being asked what to do, or taking the lead in anything. It's easier to just let myself own him." He shrugged and smiled. "I really do like him though, Clay." Clay sighed softly but nodded. "I understand... Are you happy, Jax?" Jax nodded. "I am. It's great with him... I'm dreading coming out with Gemma around but... It'll happen eventually."
Clay nodded and looked out over the parking lot. "What's going on with Juice and Tig?"
"I'm not sure really... Juice didn't say anything to me yesterday, but it felt like something was off with him. I didn't press... If he's as depressed as he used to be though... After this... Tig should never have left him alone, especially not with weapons and pills."
"Think he'd kill himself?" Jax shrugged. "I think he'd try. If he really feels lost like Chibs worries he is." Clay sighed. "Maybe you should've gone with them." Jax shook his head. "Tig needs to fix this. He's the only one Juice really needs."
! #$%^&*()
Tig slammed through the door, panting. "Juicy!" He yelled. Serotah scratched madly at the door. Chibs was on top of him in a second, pushing past him. "Juice!" He shouted. "Fuck, he was on the fucking couch when I left." Chibs pushed open the bathroom door then their bedroom. Tig pushed past him, knowing immediately where Juice was. He jiggled the doorknob on the spare room and cussed, pulling out his keys and riffling through them with shaking hands. "What's that?"
"Our play room. Shit." He found the key and slipped it in, slamming through the door as soon as the lock unhooked. Juice was stretched out on the floor under the chain, his eyes shut. Tig rushed in, throwing his keys to the side, he scooped Juice up quickly, slapping his cheeks lightly for a reaction. Juice grimaced and groaned softly. "Jesus Christ..." Chibs breathed when he looked in. "Stop moving him..." Tig looked up quickly, then down to where Chibs was looking. Blood flowed freely from Juice's groin, a puddle already on the floor. "Shit!" He began to search around for something to stop the bleeding with. Finding nothing, he swore again.
Chibs entered the room, tugging off his cut and t-shirt. He pressed it tight to Juice's groin. "Fucking kid..." He whispered. "Lay him down, slowly, and call Jax, tell him to get my med bag over here immediately." Tig whimpered but did so, pulling out his phone. It took him three tries to find Jax's number before putting the phone to his ear. Tears began to flow freely from Tig's blue gaze as he bounced his foot, waiting for Jax to answer. When he didn't, he cussed and flipped through his phone, calling Clay. When that failed as well he swore and snapped the phone shut. "Does no one have their fucking phones?!" He snarled. Chibs looked up. "Calm down. Call Bobby." Tig sighed and did so, his eyes never leaving his prone lover. "He's so fucking pale..."
"He's lost a lot of blood..." Chibs mumbled, pressing harder to the wound and slapping Juice's cheeks lightly.
"Bobby!" Tig shouted. "I don't fucking care... Get Chibs' med kit and bring it to my house." He paused and cussed, annoyed. "I don't have time to explain. Now." He snapped the phone shut and crawled back to Juice, taking his head in his hands. He was crying hard by this point, his entire body shaking. Chibs reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "He's still breathing, brother. I'll get him out of this."
"This is my fucking fault." Tig whispered. "Not solely... He begged me not to go after you for what you did to him... This is my hand as well." Tig shook his head. "My fucking fault." Chibs leaned forward and gave him a half hug, his other hand still pressing on the gash in Juice's groin. He kissed his cheek. "I'll see to it he lives, brother. So help me." Tig sobbed weakly and nodded. "Go check and see if he took pills okay? I don't think he did... I think it's blood loss, but I need to know." Tig rose and rushed out of the room. He entered a few minutes later. "They're all there except the ones I had him take this morning."
"What about aspirin, advil, any pills you have in your bathroom?"
"All there." Chibs nodded. "Smart kid. Smart kid... You wanted to live." He sighed and wiped his forehead. "I think he missed his femoral artery, but he may have glanced it... He'd be dead already if he got it... But with this blood loss, we might have to bring him to a hospital. What do you want to tell them?" Tig floundered for words, going pale. "Shit, I don't know!" He snapped. "Stay calm, Tig." Chibs said softly. "Go get me a warm rag and a blanket. He's freezing." Tig did so.
Within fifteen minutes, Bobby, Jax, and Clay were pounding into the house. Tig grabbed the bag, ignoring his brothers, and rushed back to Chibs. "Fuck, half the club is here." He snarled, annoyed. Chibs grunted. "Their brother is bleeding to death in a fucking BDSM room, of course they are. Tell them to sit down... Get Jax in here, you sit out with them."
"Fuck no, I'm helping."
"I don't want you to help, Tig! This is because of you! And you're too fucking freaked out to be of any use to me!" Tig winced and backed up, nodding. He turned and mumbled to Jax, pointing to the room. Jax rushed in and shut the door. He went to the kitchen and pulled down a bottle of whiskey, cracking it open and taking a long draw. "What the fuck is going on, brother?" Clay asked softly. Tig shook his head. "I fucked him up... Really bad... He's fucking dying because of me."
"Did he do it to himself?"
"Yeah... Fucking cut himself open... If we'd arrived any later... He'd be dead already." He put his face in his hands, crying again. Clay reached out and pulled him into a hug. "Hey... Chibs has him. He'll be fine."
"He won't be... This is my fault..." Tig mumbled. Bobby shook his head. "You made a mistake." Tig shook his head, taking another long draw off the whiskey. "I may as well have been holding the fucking knife..." He looked to Clay. "I can't... If he dies because of this..."
"I know..." Clay whispered, squeezing his shoulder. "Just go sit down on the couch, okay? Just try to relax." Tig whimpered softly but followed directions, slumping onto the couch and lighting a cigarette.
! #$%^&*()
Jax padded out of the playroom nearly twenty minutes later, wiping his face and lighting a cigarette. Tig rose immediately. Jax smiled sadly. "He's still passed out... But he's okay. Chibs got the wound stitched, and he missed the main artery. He'll be ok as long as he rests." Tig nodded, making to head in. Jax grabbed his arm. "Stay. We all need to talk."
"We can talk after I see him!" He snapped. "He's fine. Go to the kitchen." Chibs said, emerging from the room. Tig snarled but followed Jax and Chibs into the kitchen. "So Juice tried to off himself. I think we've got that figured out... What do we do about it?" Chibs asked, sitting down at the island. "Ideas?" Clay suggested. "I know we don't have the whole club here, but I want to go to the table with a plan... If we bring this to the table."
"You can't." Tig whispered. "Tig, if he's unstable... We can't have him with us. Not doing heavy shit."
"You let me in and I'm unstable as fuck." Tig snapped back. "Look, fuck... Jax, back me up. You know as well as I do that this club is all he has. It's everything for him. If not for us he'd be dead by now, whether it be by his own hand or not." He sighed. "This is my fault. Please give the kid another chance... He can't lose everything at once." Jax scowled. "What do you mean?"
"I can't risk doing this to him again... I can't do it. I need to leave him."
"That will fuck him up worse than being kicked out of the club, Tig." Jax said, shaking his head vigorously. "No. The club will have his back."
"And seeing you every day? How will that make him feel?" Bobby asked. "I'll leave if that's what it takes. Join another charter. SAMTAC is always looking, and so are the Nomads."
"You can't leave Redwood, Tig. Not over this..." Clay said softly. "You promised me, Tiggy. You promised me that relationships wouldn't affect the table." Chibs snapped. "Yeah, well I didn't expect to have a relationship end with the love of my fucking life in a pool of his own blood because I was a dipshit!" Chibs shook his head. "Every relationship you've ever had ends terribly. You're manipulative, controlling, and cruel... What made you think this one would end differently?"
"Because I love him!" Tig snarled, seeming shocked at his own words after saying them. "I love him... I haven't loved others... They were a place to shove my dick... Juice is different..."
"Did you know this when you beat the shit out of him?"
"I was in denial... Up until I heard that safeword and saw what I'd done... When I saw all of that... I realized the funny feeling I had wasn't in my fucking head. I want to marry this kid." The group was silent at Tig's confession.
! #$%^&*()
Finally, Jax spoke up. "Then you can't leave him. And neither can we. This club is his family, Clay... Can we just let this go?" Clay sighed, looking at the granite of the island as he thought. "It needs to go to the table... We'll vote on it, a majority rules, okay?" Jax nodded and looked to Tig, who nodded. "Okay... Please don't make him lose this because of me." Clay reached out and squeezed Tig's shoulder. "Just don't let this happen again. If he stays, he's going to be your responsibility, brother. Keep him on a tight leash, I mean it." Tig nodded, swallowing hard. "Come on, we need to get back to T/M... I'm sure Gemma is having a fucking coronary."
"I'll stay a bit." Chibs offered. "We need to get him into a real bed and get him awake. I'll help then come by."
"Okay. Chapel tonight guys. Tig, you can proxy your vote, okay? So you can stay with Juice." Tig nodded eagerly. "You already know it." He said quickly. Clay nodded. "Keep him safe, Tig, I mean it." They walked out.
Chibs turned to Tig. "Sit down." Tig sighed and sat, lighting a cigarette. "I'm not happy about this, Tig." He whispered. "I know... And you have no right to be... I don't deserve him."
"No, you don't. He's a fucking kid for fuck's sake. Do you even know how old he is?" Tig opened his mouth then shut it, paling a little. "In his thirties..." Chibs made an annoyed sound. "Really?!" He snarled. "For fuck's sake, Tig! Juice is tthirty one! He's turning thirty two in December. Do you know anything about him?" Tig lowered his head, feeling ill. "No." He whispered. "This kid should be just finishing graduate school with the brain he's got. But no, he's here, fucked up because of his fucking past and somehow you managed to get your fucking claws into him. You make me sick. If I had my way, I'd take him so fucking far away from you..."
"Do it." Tig snapped, his eyes round and wide. "Get him away from me. Do it while he's weak, so he can't argue..." Chibs relaxed visibly, shocked at Tig's reaction. "What?" Tig shook his head, tears coming to his eyes. "I can't do this to him. I'm ruining him. He's such a good kid and look what I did." Chibs came around, leaning on the island next to Tig. "Do you love him? Were you being honest about marrying him?" Tig nodded slowly, his head hung. "Then I won't take him away. Prove me wrong, Tiggy. Fix him, fix you... Don't make him use that safeword again." Tig nodded slowly, looking up at Chibs. The Scotsman smiled softly. "Come on, let's get him to a comfy bed, okay?"
! #$%^&*()
Juice groaned softly, coming around. He'd been mostly unconscious for over eight hours by this point, shallow breathing and not moving. Tig hadn't left the bedside, pulling a chair from the kitchen to sit and hold Juice's hand. When the Latino swore under his breath, Tig looked up quickly. "Juicy..." He whispered. Juice looked over at him. Everything came back in a flood. "Fuck..." He whispered again, squeezing his eyes shut. Tears welled from underneath the closed lids. Tig stood, leaning over. He began to kiss all over Juice's face, crying quietly. "I'm so sorry, baby... Fuck, Juice, I'm so fucking sorry..." Juice groaned again. "How'd you fucking find me?" He whispered, his voice barely there. "Chibs came to me... We realized you weren't in a good place... Fuck, I never should have left you." Juice let out a shuddering sob. "Fuck, Tig... I'm sorry... I thought I could fix it... I thought I could make it better."
"You could never make it better by leaving me." Tig whispered. " I was so scared..." Juice began to cry softly. He wrapped his arms around Tig, sobbing harder into his shoulder. Tig held him silently, kissing his shoulder and neck. He crawled carefully over Juice and snuggled up to him. He held him close, humming softly against his neck. Juice sobbed until he couldn't breathe and Tig pulled away, sitting him gently up, cautious of the stitches. He rubbed his back, grimacing at the welted and scabbed flesh. Juice gagged and Tig grabbed the trashcan, placing it between them. He guided Juice down gently, patting his back as he puked up what little he had in his stomach, mostly bile. He pulled the shaking man into his arms, stroking his flushed forehead and beginning to hum again as Juice calmed. Tig's phone buzzed and he snarled at it, but reached over to answer it. "What?" He barked. Juice could hear Chib's voice on the other end, muffled but audible. "Is he awake?"
"Just woke up. Did you hold church?"
"Aye, just finished... We're headed over there."
"Who's we?"
"Jax, Clay, and I. Want to tell you this in person." Tig paled. "Fine." He whispered, snapping the phone shut. "What?" Juice breathed. "What do they need to tell you?" Tig sighed and shook his head. "Nothing baby... Just relax." Juice pushed off him, shaking. "It's me, isn't it?" He whispered. Tig paused, then sighed and nodded. "Yeah... A suicide attempt is serious, Juice... It needed to go to the table." Juice's breath caught. "I'm out..." He breathed. "We don't know that." Tig tried to calm him. Juice began to gasp for breath, unable to catch it. Tig moved quick, rubbing his back briskly. When that didn't work, he grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss, breathing gently into his mouth. Juice began to cry against his lips, slumping against him, but breathing again. Tig rubbed his back, picking up the tune once more, trying to calm him.
! #$%^&*()
The door opened slowly and Chibs stepped in, smiling softly at the two on the bed. "How're you doing, Juicy?" Juice turned and looked at him, his expression tormented. "Fine." He whispered, and Tig pushed the glass of water into his hand again. "Drink." Juice growled but obeyed. Chibs sat down in the chair next to the bed as Clay and Jax stepped in. Jax walked up and gave Juice a warm hug, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. "Still with us, brother?" He whispered. Juice nodded slowly, closing his eyes. Clay grimaced, but squeezed Tig's shoulder comfortingly. Jax perched on the foot of the bed facing the two and Clay leaned against the wall. Serotah padded into the room and crawled into Jax's lap, whimpering. She could sense the change in them all.
"Did Tig tell you?" Clay asked. Juice nodded slowly. "A vote. My suicide attempt."
"Yeah. I made it majority rules... I know kicking a member out of the club is supposed to be unanimous, but this is a different scenario."
"Did everyone vote?"
"Yes. Including Tig. This was a fair deal, Juice." Juice nodded slowly. "My cut is in the closet... Can you wait until I feel better to black out my ink?" He brushed the reaper on his arm lovingly. Clay scowled. "Why do you think you're out?"
"If I was in... You wouldn't have needed to tell me in person." Chibs shook his head. "You've got it wrong, brother. You're still in, Juice. The only vote to kick you out was Piney for Christssake. But there are stipulations. That's why we wanted to come over... And to make sure you were okay. You're our brother, you dumbskull." Juice's body relaxed visibly and he smiled softly. "I'm still in?" He breathed, looking at Clay. The older man nodded. "Piney wasn't too happy, but he's never happy when it involves you or Tig... But we did come to the realization... With something like this... Relationships... We need some ground rules... And with you... You have some... Stipulations." Juice nodded slowly.
After a moment, Clay continued. "Nobody really cares that you two are fucking. Some think it's kinda weird with the whole collar and shit like that... But that's beside the point. You're still our brothers. But this... This threw us for a loop. So from this point, relationship shit stays the fuck out of SAMCRO. I don't care if you two are fighting and beating each other bloody. If you're at the clubhouse, you're not. I don't care if you two do whatever the hell you do at parties, that's fine. But the drama, it's not happening. And if any of us want to get involved," he looked to Chibs, "then we do it on our own time, off club property. There's a reason chicks don't join clubs like this. We keep this shit drama free, okay?" Tig nodded, understanding, as did Juice. Clay grunted. "And this goes for any relationship we have, gay or straight. This isn't just for you guys." He glanced at Jax, who nodded gently. "And Juice... Fuck man, you have to straighten out." Juice hung his head. "I get it, what happened, big deal to you. I don't understand your lifestyle, or whatever you call it. But I do understand being hopeless. It sucks. But you have Redwood, Juice. I don't care that you belong to Tig. You're my equal, you're Chibs' equal, you're even Piney's equal. If you and he are fighting and you feel like this again, talk to us. I don't want you to go into details about it, nobody does. But if you're depressed, please, promise me, you'll pull one of us aside and let us know, so that we can watch you, help you feel better, okay?" Juice nodded. "We love you, brother." Jax said softly. "Can't lose you, okay?" Juice nodded, his eyes welling with tears. "Thank you." He whispered. Jax leaned forward and kissed his temple. "Love you." Juice whispered, moving a bit to hug him. He went back to Tig immediately. Clay stood straight. "Well, I need to get back to Gemma, she's freaking out."
"Did you tell her?"
"Just what I had to... So... Yeah, it's Gemma." Juice sighed and shook his head. "She's worried about you is all. I need to let her know you're okay. I told everyone to let you be for a few more days, you'd come back to the clubhouse at the start of next week." Juice nodded. "Thank you." Clay grunted. "Same with you, Tig. Just stay with him a few days, come back when he does." Jax rose and squeezed Tig's shoulder. "Call me or Chibs if you guys need anything." He followed Clay out. Chibs rose and leaned over, pulling Juice into a tight hug. He pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Get well, son." He whispered. Juice leaned into him, closing his eyes. "I don't want him out of your sight for the next week, Tig. If you need to go to the store or anything, call me, I'll either come over or do it for you." Tig nodded. "Watch that cut for an infection, and make sure he gets plenty to eat and drink... You lost a lot of blood, kid... Should be in the hospital." Juice flushed and hung his head. Chibs sighed and rubbed the back of his head gently. "Get some rest." He pointed to Tig. "Nothing rough." Tig glared. "I'm not a fucking asshole." Chibs snorted. "Could've fooled me. I mean it, Tig. Don't break your promise to me." Tig nodded and pulled Juice tight to him. Chibs stood straight and walked out, shutting the door carefully.
Juice looked up at him slowly. Tig smiled. "Hey brown eyes." He whispered, pressing a kiss to his mouth. Juice sighed into the kiss, his body relaxing against Tig's. Tig laid him down flat, keeping with the kiss. He held his throat with a soft hand, rubbing his thumb over the line of the collar. Juice reached up and buried his fingers in Tig's hair, slipping his tongue into the older man's mouth and running the tip playfully over his teeth. Tig chuckled and nipped the tip of his tongue before pulling away. "You heard the doctor."
"He said nothing rough..." Juice whispered. "I just want to feel you."
"I'm right here." Juice swallowed hard. "I want to feel that you love me." He admitted, his gaze dropping. Tig lifted his chin. "I. Love. You. Juice. Come on..." He breathed. "You might not know it... But you're my life. The time you were in New York without me? It ripped me apart. I need you, constantly. I lost my temper when you got back... I know you won't ever fully trust me again... But I will work until I die to earn it back." Juice locked gazes with him for a long moment of silence. "If I asked you to be my equal and not my Master... Would it be hard?"
"Would you still love me the same as you did?"
"Yes."
"Then no. Not at all. Even if you wanted me to be your submissive... It'd be a challenge... But I'd do it... Because it means staying with you." Juice smiled softly, almost shyly, and bit his lip. "I don't want you to stop being my Master. I love it, regardless of mistakes. Promise me you won't do that again..."
"I swear on my life, Juice." He pressed a kiss to Juice's mouth. "Just love me like you did before this shit." He whispered against his lips. Juice grabbed Tig's hand and placed it on his throat. "Just like before." He whispered. He squeezed Tig's hand and Tig smiled, squeezing slowly.
