"Can I sit here?" A lightly accented voice drew Kurt out of the latest edition of Vogue.

He looked up. It was the new summer student. A temp trying to break into working at the magazine somehow. They usually didn't last long.

Shrugging, Kurt waved towards the empty chair at his table. The break room at the office was small, only a fridge, microwave and a couple cafe tables. The other one was occupied by two women from Layout, deep in a conversation about a movie Kurt had no interest in.

"I'm Johan." The temp had set down his lunch on the table and was holding out his hand towards Kurt. He pronounced the J of his name like a Y.

Kurt looked him over. Early twenties, pale skin, white-blond hair, blue eyes. He was attractive, but not really Kurt's type, if he had one. He shook his hand. "Kurt."

Resuming his attention to the magazine as he worked on his wrap, he couldn't help but look up when Johan got up to take his food out of the microwave.

"Nice biker jeans." Kurt mumbled before looking back at his lunch. He had been watching for a sale of them for ages, as the full ticket price was almost his portion of the monthly rent.

Johan shrugged as he opened his container and a delicious smell wafted towards Kurt. "Thanks. I got a work discount on them."

"Which store?" Kurt was instantly interested. Maybe there was a way to get a friend a discount.

Johan smiled a little. "Well, it was before I worked here. And it was at the design house."

"You worked with Olivier Rousteing?" Kurt's eyes were big now, his wrap forgotten on the plate. He had been intrigued by the story of the hot designer who took over the French design house at the age of 24.

Johan nodded. "For about a year and a half."

"Why would you leave such a great job to come here?" Kurt liked , but it didn't compare to working one of the hottest design houses in Paris.

Shrugging, Johan dug into his meal. "I was interested in living here and I have an American girlfriend."

And the rest of the lunch, Kurt basically interrogated his new friend.


"I have a few questions. When will Sebastian's therapy be done? Is it still needed? And what can we do to handle the fallout from hard sessions?" Kurt crossed his legs and looked over at Dr. Jacobsen.

He was glad that Sebastian has agreed to let him come along to the therapy session. Sebastian had come home on Monday night, but he still wasn't talking much.

Dr. Jacobsen looked Kurt over, noting his tight expression and stiff posture. "What kind of fallout?"

Kurt sighed, looking over at Sebastian. "Sebastian has hardly talked to anyone for days. It's what he does when things get a bit much. He withdraws. We had a fight in February and I didn't see him for six weeks."

Her eyebrows rose and she joted something down on her notepad. "And how do you handle things when you are emotionally upset?"

Kurt thought back on it. "Sometimes I withdraw too. Sometimes I'm moody and bitchy to people. Sometimes I cry my head off and I'm very thankful that my boyfriend is there to hold me and let me talk it out."

Dr. Jacobsen saw that they exchanged a small look, but that they seemed a lot more detached from each other than the other joint session.

"Thanks for answering my questions. To answer yours, it might help to think of Sebastian's past as a minefield. We have been working on it for months and months, carefully unearthing each one and taking them apart. Defusing their power to hurt." Dr. Jacobsen nodded at Sebastian and glanced to Kurt to see if he was following along.

"OK, and how is it going?" Kurt shifted in his chair, crossing his legs the other way. It was hard imagining Sebastian having so many hurtful things in his past like that. But he was glad that Sebastian had this kind-eyed woman to guide him through dealing with it.

She smiled at Sebastian, looking proud. "Sebastian has done amazing amounts of work in this. He came in January, ready to dig deep and has been really brave. I think you were a large part of that, Kurt."

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "Me, how?"

"You have given him motivation to face this. And your emotional support helps him when there are hard things that come up." Her brown eyes were sincere.

Sebastian reached over, taking Kurt's hand. "That's true, Kurt. I'm sorry I've been moody and distant at times. You don't deserve having to be in the receiving end of all that. But there is an end in sight."

Kurt squeezed Sebastian's hand, happy to have the contact. "Any idea when?" He could handle it better if he knew it was months away and not years.

"We started with the smaller land mines, working our way up. I would say the field is mostly clear now, except for a couple of the largest, and potentially damaging ones. We are being very, very careful with them, but they are going to stir up a lot of emotions." She looked between the two men. "But we have a couple months before you are back at school, and you said you want to work on them now."

Sebastian nodded.

Kurt squeezed his hand again. "What can I do to help? It's so hard seeing Sebastian come home from work, looking exhausted, going for long runs, shutting himself away in his bedroom. Should I push him to talk with me, or leave him in his own? Should I bug him to eat, or is this too smothering?"

The doctor turned to Sebastian. "What were your feelings the last few days, Sebastian?"

Sebastian sighed. "Sad, powerless, angry, unsettled. I just wanted the feelings inside me to go away. Wanted to go back to feeling normal. And I knew I'd be a moody prick around anyone, so I limited contact with people at work and at home. And when I tried being around Kurt, we ended up having a fight and I felt worse."

Dr. Jacobsen nodded. "Kurt, the stuff Sebastian is working on is really hard stuff, and I doubt he'll be able to talk about it with you. Maybe in time, once things are more settled. But he can talk about his feelings around it, maybe, but I wouldn't push for it."

She opened a drawer and passed them both a piece of paper. "This is a guide about handling emotions. You want to avoid doing things to numb the feelings, bad habits like alcohol, drugs, that kind of thing. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, work through them, is what we are aiming for. So, talking it out, crying, expressing the emotions somehow... Those things are good."

Kurt thought of how he had coped in the spring by singing and dancing, putting his emotions into it. But he hadn't coped overall that well, not eating enough and withdrawing from life in so many ways.

"And sticking to regular, healthy routines is good also. It keeps you grounded as you are working though it. So, as much as you can, keep going to work, eating regular meals, exercising, sleeping normal times." The therapist was looking between them.

Kurt nodded. "We do a lot of those things already, so we will keep them up."

"Sebastian, you went running to deal with your emotions. That can help. What other things on this list are things you might try?" The doctor made a couple notes.

Looking over the sheet, Sebastian shrugged. "The exercise helped some. I've tried meditation and find it really hard to focus. Yoga and deep breathing help a little. I haven't tried the other things, but I'll keep this in mind for later."

"Good. So, I hope that gives you a better overall perspective, Kurt. You two will get through this. Don't close off from each other, OK?" Dr. Jacobsen stood, waiting until they followed her action before going to open the door.


That night, Kurt was surprised when Sebastian joined him cooking dinner and then watching some TV. He was still fairly quiet, but he touched Kurt in passing often. On the sofa, he sat close and took Kurt's hand, stroking it gently.

"I'm sorry for our argument the other day, Kurt. I was a total asshole to you." His tone was soft.

Kurt turned to him slightly, and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry too. I was pretty bitchy to you."

Sebastian moved closer, putting his arm over Kurt's shoulder to draw him in. Kurt happily curled against his side. He'd missed cuddling together like this.

"I'm glad you came to the therapy session today. And having you here, quietly supporting me thorough it all...it really is what gets me through the hardest days." Sebastian ran a hand through his hair, and gave Kurt a warm look.

Putting a hand on Sebastian's cheek, Kurt leaned in to give him a soft kiss. "I love you so much, Sebastian. It's hard seeing you in pain. I feel helpless."

Sebastian nodded. "Yeah, in therapy, you mentioned crying. I remember how hard it was seeing you that time, so upset and hurting. Just holding you tight and letting you cry it out. I felt really helpless too, wanting so bad to take your pain away. And if you are feeling that way around me now..."

"Yeah, I can see you are hurting and just want to take that away. If you ever want to cry, Sebastian, just know I won't think less of you or anything." Kurt scooted closer to hug Sebastian tight.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's neck. "Thanks, babe. I think I love that most about you. That you aren't trying to fit me into some box, that you accept me as I am, messy past and all. I can be myself around you."

"Love you. Just want you." Kurt returned Sebastian's kisses, his lips nuzzling near his ear.

Sebastian chuckled. "Oh really? Just me? There isn't some hot, blond French guy that you are lusting after?"

Kurt stilled, his mind flashing to Johan. They had eaten lunch together at work several more times lately, and Kurt had enjoyed getting to know him better as a friend.

Realizing that Sebastian was referring to the blond guy in the bar in Montreal, Kurt chuckled. "He was pretty hot. But I told you then, he was for your birthday, not for me."

"Sure, sure. You picked him out, you lured him onto the dance floor, flirted and danced with him, and it was entirely for me?" Sebastian's voice was a low, sexy growl, and his kisses were getting hotter. He was undoing the buttons on Kurt's shirt, kissing the skin of his chest as it came into view.

Kurt moaned, leaning back on the sofa to encourage Sebastian's touch. They hadn't had sex since Sunday morning and he was already so turned on. "Yes, just for you."

Undoing Kurt's jeans, Sebastian pushed them down and off. He shifted to straddle Kurt's hips, his workout shorts hardly any barrier between them. He sat up, pulling off his tee, and Kurt ran a hand over his chest. So beautiful.

Pushing Kurt's underwear down, Sebastian's hand cupped his hardness, stroking lightly until Kurt moaned. "I think there's a part of you that wanted him to come back to the hotel with us. For both of us to play with."

Maybe it was just that they hadn't had sex for a few days. Maybe it was having his hot, sexy boyfriend on top of him. Maybe it was the skillful way he was stroking, making Kurt arch his body in a helpless response. But he couldn't deny part of it was the image of having that blond guy from the bar with them.

He'd never had a threesome. Would it be hot, or would he just get jealous? Would it be OK if they just agreed it was one night with a stranger, playing safe? And the idea of watching Sebastian with another guy was definitely triggering something in him.

Sebastian got off the sofa, opening a drawer in the coffee table and taking out the lube they had stashed there. He stripped off Kurt's briefs and the rest of his own clothing.

"Get on all fours, Kurt." Sebastian's look was one of pure heat, and Kurt scrambled to obey. Sebastian sat on the couch again, running his hands down Kurt's back and over his ass, admiring. "Your skin feels so good."

Kurt shifted his legs wider when Sebastian ran a lubed finger over him, prepping him. He arched back into his touch, wanting his fingers deep. It wasn't long before Sebastian was kneeling behind him, pressing into his tight heat.

"So good, babe. So good for me..." Sebastian whisper was rough, and Kurt knew he was just as aroused, just as hot for this. But his thrusts were deliberately slow, teasing, when all Kurt wanted was hard, fast, wild.

"Come on, Kurt. Tell me it wouldn't be hot to have your blond friend here, watching us like this? Maybe naked and stroking himself as he takes in the show?" Sebastian's hands stroked down the long line of Kurt's spine.

Kurt moaned, as he couldn't help picturing that, knowing how sexy Sebastian would look, bringing Kurt to the level of begging, helpless and needy. And to have some else watching that... Fuck. It was hot.

Sebastian strokes sped up a little. "Or maybe he's the one fucking this tight, hot little ass of yours as I watch. Maybe I'm the one stroking my cock, trying to not come at how sexy you look. Waiting for my turn to fuck you."

Kurt moaned, pushing back as the strokes got harder and faster, just what he wanted. Needed. So hot from Sebastian's words, from the naughty images he'd planted in Kurt's head.

Sebastian was bent over Kurt, his hands on Kurt's shoulders to pull him back for each thrust, and he whispered French words, hot and dirty, adding to the fantasy.

But with the last few strokes, the image that got stuck in Kurt's head was of a different blond Frenchman. Johan. Johan, naked and aroused, whispering those nasty French things to Kurt, fucking him like this as Sebastian watched.


-Disclaimer: I own nothing