Sorry it's a tad late, but I've been swamped with relatives and stuff to do the past few days. And I've also been writing more of another story. I feel guilty now. I meant to have it out, but the other one was just so much easier to write and I was right at the end of it and now it's finished and I can work on my fanfics more. But goodness, it has such a sentimental ending. Too happy. Well, not really, cuz the second guy she was in love with was the modern assumption of the reality of vampire and was gonna kill her and then tried to kill the third guy she loves but then they saved him and made him forget she ever existed and then she ended up with the first guy she loved but she's got a guilty conscience about what happened with the third guy…yeah, and that's really irrelevant. But I think it's good, and my editor person (my bestie Alex) thinks it's good, and I'm gonna post it on FictionPress, so if you're interested in checking it out I'll let you know. But ANYwho, most of you don't care and just want me to get on with the chapter. So here.
Dedications: This chapter is dedicated to the anonymous reviewer anaa for continuously complimenting my work and reading…well, everything (Oh, and just a comment to you: Thank you for all the amazing reviews, I'm glad you like Skittles, and no matter how creepy she is Tara is one of the good guys. She would never hurt Bella because then her quick-to-judge vampire cousin would kill her. Literally. But we love Eddie all the same, even if he DOES have problems with being judgemental. Oh, and you really need to get an account on here so I can REPLY! It's driving me crazy!), to the songs You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring and Womanizer by Britney Spears and Human by the Killers for being eternally stuck in my head (You've gotta let me know, are we human or are we dancer? My sign is vital, my hands are cold. And I'm on my knees, looking for the answer. Are we human, or are we dancer? Sorry. I'm listening to that song :P), koodoo for having the awesome button with the man with the mustache on it, Alex for buying me a Team Jacob pin (STOP THE JAKE HATE! SAVE THE OLYMPIC WOLVES!), Adrian Ivashkov for being waaay sexy ("You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel much better."/"Did you defend our love?"/"You might be surrounded by clouds, but you'll always be like sunshine to me."), Christian for being my new best friend ("What the hell kind of therapy are you in?"/"Yes. I'd cry into my pillow every night."), Jill for being Jill-ish ("…but you're so cool about it all, kind of like, "Yeah, I'm with this totally hot guy, but whatever, it doesn't matter."), and Dimitri for being a really tall, really ripped and really hot Russian guy ("There's probably a John Wayne movie playing somewhere that you haven't seen." "Nope, I've seen them all."/ "I care about you, Roza." (Am I the only one who melts inside when he calls her Roza?)). And yes, those last four WERE from Shadow Kiss. But hey, can you blame me? I'm still adjusting to the unlimited amount of awesomeness that is the Vampire Academy series.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL. Haha, thick skull….sorry, I was watching Ghost Rider with my mom and my brother yesterday. I'm like "WTF? He rides ghosts? Get it? RIDES ghosts?" Yeah…don't ask.
Soundtrack:
Guitar Vs Piano by Goukisan
(Yes. I have a secret love for techno songs. It's a love I share with Jill (and Brian, who Jill gets the techno music from) and it's addictive. Like Dreamnation!! Oh gosh, that was awesome. I love that song. Shit. Now I have to download it. THANKS A LOT TECHNO LOVE! (I also love old rock. Like from the 60s to 80s. Rock is supreme.)
BPOV
When I woke up the next morning, Alice was already gone. Probably getting breakfast. I groaned and pushed myself out of bed. Time to face another day.
I trudged tiredly into the kitchen and collapsed onto a chair, immediately resting my head on the table.
"Ahh! Sleeping Beauty decides to join us," Carlisle said from the other end of the table, chuckling slightly.
"Why does it have to be day?" I mumbled.
"We need an excuse to see your beautiful face, darling," Esme said sweetly from her place beside Carlisle.
"Whatever," I muttered.
Alice plopped down beside me a few moments later and slid a plate of toast and eggs in front of me. "Morning, sleepyhead," she said cheerfully. Alice was definitely a morning person. I was definitely not.
"Shove it, Alice," I said, taking a bite of my toast then putting my head back down.
"Oh, look who else decided to join us!" Esme exclaimed a few minutes later. "Comfortable sleep, Edward?"
Shit. I forgot he was here. This should be interesting…and awkward.
"Very comfortable, thank you," he said politely, taking a seat across the table. "And you?"
"I had a nice sleep, thank you," Esme responded. "I think most of us did." I could practically feel her eyes on me, but I didn't lift my head off the table. I didn't have the energy or the motivation.
I heard Edward chuckle across from me. I was sure his blazing emerald eyes were focused on my sleepy form, and I worked up the courage to lift my head and meet his eyes.
And then it happened – a spark, like electricity, that made me jump. I saw Edward flinch slightly as well, so I knew he had felt it too, but neither of us was able to look away. He held me in his intense stare that let me see straight into his soul. And I was immediately regretting everything we had let him in on. He was so pure, so innocent, so perfect, and I was tainting him with my wretched life. I was the last thing he should have in his life, and I needed to be out.
"Edward, may I speak with you privately?" I asked politely, but in a strained voice, as I rose from the chair.
"Of course," he replied, confusion entering his tone, and followed me out of the kitchen and down the hall. Once we were safely in my room, I shut the door and locked it before turning to face him.
"What's wrong, Bella?" he asked before I could say anything. He seemed tense and guarded, but worried. He knew something was bothering me, and wanted to help.
"Edward, I don't think…" I took a deep breath to calm my frenzied heart. "I don't think you should have anything to do with me. I'm not…I'm not any good for you, Edward. I don't deserve you."
"That's ridiculous, Bella," he said, taking an unconscious step closer. "What in God's name could make you think you don't deserve me? Boring, goody-goody, stay-home-doing-homework-on-weekends Edward?"
"Because you're perfect," I whispered. "Because you have a great life and lots of opportunity. Because you're way too good for me in every way."
I would have given him more excuses, except he covered my lips with his own, silencing me. I melted into the kiss, letting my lips move in synchronization with his. The longer we kissed, the more heated and passionate our embrace became.
Eventually, lack of oxygen forced us to break apart, and we just stared at each other, breathing heavily.
"Well," I panted, "that wasn't exactly what I had in mind."
He laughed and kissed my forehead gently. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he scolded. "My beautiful, beautiful Bella. How could you ever think you aren't good enough for me?"
I opened my mouth to respond, but he held a finger to my lips. "Let me finish,' he said gently. "How could someone so beautiful, and funny, and intelligent, and fierce, and interesting, and altogether amazing think that they weren't worthy of me? You're perfect in every way, and I…I think I…" He frowned, as if concentrating very hard on what he was about to say.
"It's okay, I understand," I said.
He shot me a surprised look. "You do?" he asked uncertainly.
"Of course. I think I'm in love with you too. I think I have been since the moment I met you, even if you were particularly annoying to me at the time. But you're gorgeous, so it's excused."
He stared at me silently for a few moments, surprised, and I was afraid I had it wrong, that he wasn't really about to say he loved me. I was about to say something, apologize for making an assumption, when he laughed, shook his head, and kissed me softly.
"I really don't know what goes on in that head of yours," he said, "but I love you, so you're excused."
"You know you can't steal my catch phrase," I pointed out. "That's copyright infringement. I could sue you."
"Would you?" he asked, his eyes smoldering.
I forgot how to breathe for a moment. "No, I don't think I would."
He laughed again, and I thought I had never heard such beautiful music. "It's funny how two complete opposite things mesh together so well," he said.
"Like electric guitar and piano."
He kissed my forehead gently, and I thought I would melt right there.
"So, where does this leave us?" I asked.
"Well, if I love you, and you love me, and we both know we love each other and are planning on acknowledging the fact on a daily basis and allowing others to also acknowledge this, I believe a twelve-year-old would say we're 'going out'," he said in a matter-of-fact way. "Unless that bothers you."
"Hey, I have nothing against the word of preteens."
"You mean 'words'," he corrected.
I shrugged. "Whatevvs, home skillet."
He shook his head and rolled his eyes, but an expression of amusement and joy was plastered on his face. There was something I wanted to ask him about, but I had a feeling it was an unpleasant subject and I was loathe to wipe that look off his face. But, in the end, my curiosity won out.
"Edward, Alice said something last night about not wanting to see you get hurt 'again'. I was wondering what she meant by that," I said.
A distant look of hurt and sadness crossed his face, and I immediately regretted my question. "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to," I said softly.
"No. You should know." He took a deep breath. "A few years ago I started dating a girl from my physics class. She was pretty, scholarly and completely play-by-the-rules. She was pretty much your complete opposite." I laughed at that. "She never did anything reckless. She never skipped school to sleep in or handed in an assignment late. She got straight A's and was taking part in a Baccalaureate program. She was funny and smart and we got along perfectly. But I suppose she eventually decided that my gentlemanly ways weren't enough for her.
"One day, I went to pick her up for dinner and saw her talking to someone on her front porch. He looked to be about our age, and I later found out his name was Garrett. She said something to make him laugh, and he kissed her cheek and left. I saw the look he gave her, though, and I knew he wasn't a mere friend. I asked Kate about it, but she said there was nothing going on between them.
"I didn't see Garrett after that night, not until a different night out. Alice was spending the holidays with us out west, and she dragged me out to a club. While we were there, I saw Kate dancing with Garrett. And then…then she kissed him. But when they broke apart, she saw me, and I knew I had to get out. I ran for the first place I could think of where no one would find me, a small meadow in the woods (YESSSS I finally worked the meadow into here somewhere. Hah. I said I would.) I liked to go to for solitude. But, of course, she knew me too well, and followed me there. She told me that while I was a great guy, she loved Garrett and couldn't go on seeing him behind my back and hurting me anymore, and she broke up with me.
"I…I loved Kate, Bella. I loved her a lot. And after that night, I didn't think I could ever love another person. Alice always tried to convince me to date other girls, but I couldn't find the will to care about them. I spent all my time working hard and studying. And, in other words, I was miserable.
"But then I met you, and…words cannot describe the change. Every fibre of my being was telling me you were a criminal and a vandal and I should stay away, but I ignored all reasoning when I saw you smile. You're just so different from any other girl, and you inspire feelings in me that I haven't had since I was with Kate. Stronger, I think, than my feelings for Kate. And for that I thank you."
"Thank me?" I asked, confused.
"You taught me how to love again, Bella. But you must know, I won't be that easy to get rid of. Even if you cheated on me with…a dog (Hah), I wouldn't leave. Not now that I feel this way."
"I wouldn't ever try to get rid of you, Edward," I said. "Where's the fun in life without Edward Cullen?"
He chuckled and pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me. I was immediately consumed by his scent, a smell that should be illegal for its ability to so fully incapacitate a person.
"And what would love be without Isabella Swan?" he said less jokingly.
"Boring as hell," I responded, which had him laughing again.
"I love your laugh," I said, before I could thoroughly think the comment through.
He pulled back slightly to give me a confused look. "What?"
"Your laugh. It sounds like music." He continued to look at me as if I were speaking Polish. "Why do you look so confuzzled?"
"Confuzzled?" He raised an eyebrow amusedly.
"Just answer the question, Cullen."
"I don't know…I guess I was just surprised you like my laugh. I always hated my laugh."
"How could you hate something so perfect?"
He smiled dazzlingly, and it felt as though a world of shadows had just been filled with unending light. "Come on, love," he said, pulling me towards the door. The feelings that coursed through me when he called me "love" are indescribable. "Everyone's probably wondering if you killed me and ate my soul."
"Ouch. Brutal choice of words." He chuckled again.
When we re-entered the kitchen and sat beside each other at the table, I thought Alice was going to have a heart-attack. Her eyes bulged impossibly when she saw my arm looped through her cousin's, and by the time we sat down she was just about ready to die on the spot.
"You two sort out…whatever?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes. Everything's perfectly sorted out," Edward responded with a smile that tugged at my heart.
"Mmhmm." Alice shot me a look, but I ignored her and started picking at the food on the plate in front of me.
The phone rang, breaking the silence, and Alice was up to get it in a flash.
"Hello? Hi Aunt Steph. Yes, he is here. Okay, hold on." She covered the receiver. "Edward, it's your mom."
He got up and took the phone from her. "Hey, mom."
"Bella, can I talk to you for a sec?" She was yanking me up before I could respond.
Instead of going into my room, which Alice knew from experience had a very flimsy lock (she wouldn't let me change out of the dress she forced on me, so Esme picked the lock for me because I wasn't allowed to handle sharp things), she pulled me into the bathroom and bolted the door. The lock in the bathroom was better because Alice didn't want to risk people coming in to save me during my torture hours.
"What's going on with you and Edward?" she demanded.
"Whatever could you possibly mean?" I asked innocently.
"Don't play the 'I don't know' card, Bella. Did he ask you out?" she asked excitedly.
"If you're wondering if we're dating, then yes," I said, a smile spreading across my face,
"Ohmigosh!" she squealed. "So you love him, then?"
I smiled wider. "Yes, Alice. I do love him. With all my heart and all my soul."
"Oh, this is so awesome! I'm glad you finally found someone."
"What do you mean?"
"I thought you were going to be single forever. You never went out and you never dated. I thought you were waiting for high school to be over so you could join a convent."
I shook my head at her. "None of them were right, I guess. They're all jerks."
"Except my cousin."
I sighed wistfully. "Except your cousin," I agreed.
"Hey, did you know Emmett proposed to Rosalie on Thursday night?" She changed subjects so quickly, it took me a moment to grasp what she had said.
"He did what?!"
"He asked her to marry him after they had dinner with her parents. They wanted to keep it a secret, but Jas saw Rose with the ring and she confessed to him, and of course he told me."
"I can't believe he didn't tell me!"
"Who, Jasper?" Alice asked, confused.
"No, Emmett. He usually tells me everything."
"They were apparently waiting to tell everyone as a group at a more opportune moment?"
"When, the night before the wedding?" I asked skeptically.
"Well, apparently it's more of a promise ring than anything. They're waiting till after graduation to start planning, and then they get to unleash the beast that is Alice in wedding mode," Alice explained, referring to herself in the third person.
"Is it okay if I hide in my room?"
She slapped my arm playfully, then sighed. "It's sad, isn't it?"
"What?"
"How fast everything's happening. It feels like yesterday we were out partying and being teenagers, and now we're suddenly adults." She shook her head. "It's like the world's chasing us with a bludgeon or something and we can't outrun it."
"What is it with you Cullens and the gruesome mental images?" I asked. "Eating souls, bludgeons, what next? A six-year-old with a blindfold and a chainsaw?"
"Hey, looks like you have some Cullen in you after all. We must be rubbing off on you."
"I don't want you rubbing anything on me!"
She giggled. "What if it was Edward rubbing something on you?"
I considered it for a moment. "Well, that's different, I suppose."
She laughed at me. "You're so silly, Tinker Bell."
"At least I'm not stark raving mad…most of the time."
Alice shook her head at me. "Hey, no school tomorrow, right?"
"Why not?"
"It's…you know."
Realization and desolation hit me simultaneously. "Oh. Right."
Alice immediately noticed my tone. "I'm so sorry I brought it up, Bella-"
"No, it's fine Alice," I said. "In fact, I think your aunt and uncle should come with us. They need to know the affect of death before they go judging me."
We walked back into the kitchen and I slumped down in my chair once more, resting my head in my hands.
"Bella thinks that maybe Aunt Margret and Uncle Lyle should come with us tomorrow," Alice said.
"I'll call them," Esme said.
"Where are you going tomorrow?" Edward, who was now off the phone, asked confusedly.
"The graveyard," Alice said gently, afraid of upsetting me.
"Why?"
"Because six years ago tomorrow, my parents died," I responded.
So, whaddya think? Good? No? Tell me! I like reviews. Reviews make the world go round. No, wait, that's Fanta. Fanta makes the world go round. And Tom Cruise. I LOVE THAT OLD TIME ROCK AND ROLL! Yeah, don't ask…Risky Business moment…
ANYhoodles, yeah, terribly sorry about not updating, but I totally spaced on what day it was, and then I had bucketloads of company over, so it kinda took me a while. Well, it's 2 AM right now, and I promised my mom I would go to bed at 2…so, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and PLEASE review. I feel so unloved. It's definitely a blow to my self-esteem to see these stories that suck like mad and STILL have more reviews than mine. Does this story suck like mad? Eh, probably. But who cares? I don't. I'll keep writing anyway. I WILL BE RICH AND PUBLISHED ONE DAY! Yeah…being awake at early hours does strange things to my mental capacity.
Well, have lotsa fun going back to school next week! (Oh joy…)
Lotsa LOTsa Love,
Alexaaaaa IVASHKOV (I'm marrying Adrian and no one is stopping me! Not even Jill, who I bow down to! I WILL NOT BOW TO JILL WHEN TOM CRUISE KILLS ME! MWAH. Ha ha. Ha. Blah. Leaving now.)
