Sebastian knew good sources of amusement when he saw them. The three servants he had picked all those long years ago had been odd, quirky people, and a good source of laughter when they weren't royally screwing something up.

Cats were another example. They were pure, adorable, funny little things. Sebastian had long ago learned to read human behavior, so aside from the occasional surprise from his young master, humans were entirely predictable. Cats were the opposite. All his long life, Sebastian had never been able to truly figure out the fine felines of the world.

So when Sebastian saw the opportunity for good amusement, he never turned it down. And boy, was he to get a show out of this particular opportunity.


The Winchesters, Castiel, and Mick Davies stood in front of a salt circle on the floor. Within the circle was a bowl, which contained a blue-diamond ring that belonged to Elizabeth Midford, apparently a gift from Ciel Phantomhive, along with the proper components to summon a spirit.

They had decided to hold the summoning in the library, as the spirit might be less willing to cooperate if she materialized in the dungeon, with some creepy chains and a bunch of other things that would look like witchcraft to an English girl from the nineteenth century. It was best to just ask nicely for her help.

Sam and Dean shared a wary look, and Sam nodded. Dean struck a match and dropped it into the bowl. Mick tensed. The Men of Letters would never resort to this kind of magic in order to get the monster. Calling upon a spirit to ask for help was something of a taboo among the members. After all, spirits were also just monsters, waiting to be killed.

But it was like Phantomhive had said, Mick reflected. He'd been spending too much time with the Winchester brothers, and was now more hunter than Man of Letters. He no longer adhered to the rules that had been drilled into his mind while growing up.

Kill the monster. Kill it. Shoot first, ask questions later. Ask every question after the monster is vanquished.

He shook his head, struggling to clear it. The mind-numbing lessons still pounded within his head, and it took every bit of focus he had to keep himself from stamping out the flash flame that lit up within the bowl.

And it took massive amounts of effort to keep himself from jumping, terrified, when a young girl of maybe thirteen years appeared before them. Her blonde hair was held up in curly pigtails, except for a single cowlick, which fell over a flowered headband.

Emerald green eyes shone at the four men with startled excitement.

"Hello!" she said sweetly, and Dean literally felt nicer just looking at her. "Where am I?"

"Uh..." How exactly were they going to explain this away? Like, "Sorry kid, we summoned your spirit because we need to find a way to stop your evil fiance."

That wouldn't exactly be good conversation, nor would it make a good impression on their young guest. Which brought up a question: Elizabeth Midford had been in her eighties when she died. Why did she look like a young teenager?

Elizabeth seemed to sense the awkwardness in her question, and she looked down at her hands, which had twisted themselves into her gown.

"Sorry for asking. It's just that I don't remember what's happened, and I don't recognize any of you..."

Mick frowned, feeling a bit of sympathy worm its way into his heart.

"Forgive me, Lady Elizabeth," he said quietly, and she looked up at him. "I know you don't remember anything, but it'll be very difficult for you to believe what we tell you, even though it's the truth."

Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean? Am I not in England anymore?"

"Well, no, you're not. And you're not in the same year anymore, either."

Green eyes widened with confusion, and though the four men didn't know it, a small memory flickered in Elizabeth's mind. The year 1957, April 10, at the Royal Court Theatre. Oh, the premiere of The Entertainer, such a wonderful performance.

Elizabeth had died on the fifteenth. The day John Bodkin Adams was found not guilty. She remembered that.

"I believe you," she said softly, like she could barely breathe. Dean and Cas looked on in concern, and Sam and Mick shared a look. "I remember... I remember dying. But I don't remember... how?"

Sam cleared his throat softly, and Elizabeth looked up at him. "Um, you were hit by a car, on your way to the royal palace. The doctors didn't get there in time."

"Oh."

That memory flicked in the back of her mind as well, but it was distant and fuzzy, which Lizzie was extremely grateful for. She wasn't sure she wanted to remember the awful sound of a soul leaving a human body, specifically her own.

She shook herself, struggling to focus. "I must be here for a reason, then." Elizabeth looked around the bunker, and something seemed to click in her mind. "Are you... Men of Letters?"

Mick raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Yes, we are. But how did you know?"

A soft smile covered her pretty face. "I didn't know my fiance, Ciel, was involved in all of this magic and monsters business until I was in my thirties. I found out about it when I took over from my father, and eventually, the Men of Letters themselves approached me about some work that was being done."

She looked back up them. "If I'm dead, but here, it follows that you all must be Men of Letters, and that you summoned me for a reason." Lizzie smoothed down a ruffle in her skirt. "So, gentlemen, what is that reason?"

Dean and Sam shared a look, then Sam spoke. "Actually, it's your fiance. That's why we're here."

Lizzie blinked up at them in confusion. "Ciel should've passed away many years ago. I don't see-"

"Yeah, sorry, sister," Dean interrupted. Sam tossed him a glare, which he ignored. "Ciel's still alive 'n' kickin'. And causing trouble."

Lizzie tilted her head. "I don't see what kind of trouble my darling Ciel could possibly have gotten himself into. He was always very sweet to me, and protected me in times of danger."

"That's the thing, Lady Elizabeth," Sam said quietly. "He hasn't gotten into danger; he is the danger."


Mick very carefully explained most of the situation to the lady, who listened with something like disbelief.

She shook her head once he had finished. "That's just not possible! Ciel was a good person, and he would never do something like this!"

Sam made a face. "Well, it might not be him. He might be possessed by a demon, and its simply using his body to do all of this."

Lizzie's face brightened, but Dean shook his head. "I don't think so, man. If a demon had possessed his body, it would have used its own name. Instead, it's using his. And that same butler is still with him, too."

"Sebastian?" Elizabeth asked. "He's still alive as well?"

"I'm tellin' ya, kid," Dean said gruffly. "They're both demons, and now they've taken over hell."

Lizzie absorbed this quietly, then laughed softly. "Taken over hell? You mean to tell me that my fiance is now... king of hell?"

"Yep."

"That... that sounds like him," she whispered. "So determined, so strong. Becoming king of hell sounds exactly like something he would do."

Mick brightened somewhat, now that she believed them. "So... will you help us?"

Elizabeth's green eyes moved back up to his face, but there wasn't gentle kindness anymore. It looked something like reproach. "No, I won't."

"But-" Sam spluttered. "Why not?"

"Because he's my fiance, and that hasn't changed. I still love him as much as I did the day he disappeared."

"But he's the king of hell! He's a demon who wants to kill us and pretty much all other hunters!"

"Well that's just too bad," Elizabeth replied sweetly, but Mick could see the steel behind her eyes. "I love Ciel, even if he is a demon, even if he wants to kill you. He was pretty much like that before, anyway. I won't betray him."

"If he was like that before," Cas said hesitantly, "why did you love him?"

Lizzie hummed. "I suppose it's because I always knew he had a goal in mind, and he did what he did to achieve that goal. I loved-love him because of that determination. I promised to protect him, a long time ago. Even though I am dead, I will hold to that promise."

The four men were all uncomfortable now, with no idea of what to do now. Lady Elizabeth Midford had been their only chance at trying to stop Phantomhive, and if she refused to help them, then...

Dean jerked his head toward the hallway, and Sam, Cas, and Mick all followed him. Emerald green eyes watched them walk away, unreadable emotion deep within them.

"So what now?" Dean asked, leaning against the wall. Sam shook his head.

"I don't know. Our one shot at stopping Phantomhive, and this girl doesn't want to help."

"How do you love someone that much, even when they're trying to destroy the world?" Mick muttered, bouncing slightly on his toes. Dean eyed Cas and tried not to blush too hard.

"I actually know what she's talking about there," he murmured in response.

Cas stirred and looked back at him. "Perhaps we don't actually need her to tell us anything."

Dean blinked. "What?"

Sam and Mick listened curiously.

"Perhaps we only need to give the illusion that the girl helped us, and nothing else. Maybe not even that. Perhaps if we show him that we have the girl, he'll back off."

Dean shook his head. "Nah, man, he's a demon. He ain't gonna care."

"You don't know that, Dean." Cas frowned.

"Uh, yeah, I do, actually. I was a demon, remember? And Cole threatened to kill Sam if I didn't do what he wanted, and you know what? If he had killed Sam, I wouldn't have given a single shit. Plus, the lady's already dead. How could we possibly threaten her?"

Sam sighed. "Either way, we need to figure out what we're going to do. We don't have too much longer until Phantomhive comes for us."

"No indeed, you don't have much time left at all."

The four men spun toward the new voice, three of the four automatically pulling weapons from Chuck knew where. Castiel simply tilted his head curiously at the owner of the new voice, eyes widening in belated recognition.

The child demon smirked, the butler behind him exuding such an air of confidence and danger that had Dean wishing he was wearing brown pants.

"Hello Winchesters," Ciel Phantomhive greeted. "Hello again to you, Mr. Davies. I trust you've been well in the past few hours or so? And you, you must be the Winchesters' pet angel; what was it? Cassiel?"

"Castiel," the angel corrected quietly, but said nothing else.

Phantomhive turned, looking with amusement into the library where Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford still stood, pretty green eyes roaming the forest of books that stood around her with wonder.

"Were you fools actually going to try and use Lizzie against me?"

Sam and Dean shared a worried glance and Ciel's lip twitched upward.

"How clever," he said mockingly. "Let me guess; you didn't get anything from her? No, you wouldn't. Lizzie may appear to be young, unsophisticated, and airheaded, but that's the farthest thing from the truth. In reality, she's one of the most loyal people I've known in my lifetime. One of the bravest, as well. On board the Campania, when it was her and I, she defended me with her sword and her life. Against zombies, no less."

Ciel turned back toward the hunters, a smile once again playing upon his delicate child's features. "You were debating if you could use her against me in another way, weren't you? Just now, before I arrived. News flash for you denim-wrapped nightmares: Lizzie's dead. Her soul is at peace, or it was until you disturbed her."

"How the hell did you get in?" Sam finally spluttered. "This entire building is warded against demons!"

"Not the whole building," Sebastian answered smoothly, quickly reminding the hunters that more than one demon was in the vicinity. "After an intense discussion with the former king of hell, I learned from my master's very eager-to-please dog that there is an unguarded entrance. One that he used quite often, if I recall correctly."

"When Sebastian told me that you dim-wits were actually going to summon my fiance, I thought "even they couldn't be that stupid!" But, here you are. Summoning my fiance back from the dead." Ciel glowered at them a moment, then again looked toward Lizzie and sighed.

"Do you lot all realize how incredibly easy if would to kill you right now? I meant what I had Sebastian tell you; I will no longer have you bringing the world to the brink of destruction."

"You're one of the disasters we try to defend against," Sam said icily. Ciel laughed coldly in reply.

"That may be so, but I'll get rid of you either way. Die or disappear. I don't care which."

"But the Darkness is still out there," Dean objected. "We have to stop her, or the world will end anyway!"

"But that's exactly what I mean," Ciel said, pinning him with a single blue eye. "In attempting to defeat Amara, you will inevitably bring upon another disaster. This world wants to off itself, you know that as as well as I do. It doesn't matter if Amara really does destroy the world or not; I'll take what I can get."

"We should be leaving soon, lord," Sebastian said, glancing at Castiel, who had a look of utter concentration on his face. "The angel seems to be sending out a distress signal on "angel radio"; others will be arriving soon."

"Right!" Ciel clapped his hands, and Mick jumped a little. Ciel grinned wolfishly. "We'll be off then! You still have half a day or so; make the right decision."

He stepped toward Dean, putting them so close they were sharing air. "If you don't, there will be no place you can run, no place you can hide. I will find you, and I will kill you."

Dean blinked, and suddenly the kid was leaving. "Don't bother locking up behind us," Ciel called over his shoulder. "Sebastian will be able to get in even if you ward the passage."

"For what kind of butler would I be if I could not follow not such a simple command as that?" Sebastian supplied, bowing low to the Winchesters before raising his eyes to his master.

"My lord, I do believe we have other business in this..." his eyes roamed distastefully, "cave."

"What are you on about?"

"It would be improper for someone of your status to ignore a lady as high of standing as the Lady Elizabeth, particularly because she is still, technically speaking, your fiance."

The four men listened to this short speech with something like shock; it sounded as if the butler were chastising his young master! Ciel turned back, and his eyes weren't the clear blue of before, but a demonic red, much like Sebastian's own.

"Do you presume to give me orders, dog?" His voice was angry, with something like desperation mixed in. Mick thought he had never seen a case of authority issues this severe.

"Perish the thought, young master! I simply thought Lady Elizabeth might appreciate the sight of her vanished fiance before her soul returns to heaven."

Ciel sighed, the blue replacing the red a moment later. "Fine," he grumbled. "But if she tries to tell me how I should color-code my wardrobe so as to "be more adorable," I'm leaving."

Sebastian bowed, and Dean thought he could see just the hint of the tell-tale smirk again. Castiel thought to himself how odd it was that while Phantomhive was the master, the one who had made the deal and commanded his demon, Sebastian was more adept at controlling the other.

But perhaps it wasn't that odd. With a demon as old and as powerful as Sebastian, you could only expect that he be tricky as well.

Ciel stepped into the library, heeled shoes making a light clicking sound as he advanced on the dead girl. Elizabeth immediately turned her eyes on him, and after half a moment of shock, pure delight flooded her features.

"Oh Ciel!" she nearly screeched. Dean, Sam, and Mick clapped their hands over their ears as the sound echoed through the bunker. Sebastian merely looked amused while Cas watched with something like confoundment. "It's so wonderful to see you after all these years!"

Ciel really did try his best to smile, but even after all that time, they were hard to accomplish. He still hadn't remembered how.

"It's good to see you as well, Lizzie. It has been a while, hasn't it."

"A hundred and thirty years," she answered, somewhat reproachfully. "I know you were still alive for the entire time I was; why didn't you come and visit me?"

Ciel glanced back at Mick, who by now had come back into the library with the others close behind. "I was prevented by the Men of Letters. After I left England, I couldn't come back in due to all the warding."

Elizabeth looked past her beloved Ciel to where Mick stood, and something like a glower immediately crossed her face. "It was your people who prevented my Ciel from back to me?"

Mick held out his hands in a placating gesture. "Not me! I wasn't even born then!"

"You think I care?" Elizabeth snapped, her pretty face becoming somewhat inhuman in her rage. "It was your people who took my Ciel away, it was your people that didn't let me see him again!"

She took steps forward, but was prevented from going further by the salt circle. She looked down, scoffing angrily at it. Dean thought he might have whiplash from how quickly the girl was turning into something like a vengeful spirit.

"He's not really much of a Man of Letters anymore," Ciel said, amusement written on his face, and emerald green eyes immediately moved back to him. "I'll be punishing the Men of Letters soon enough anyway. You don't needn't worry about him."

"Oh, Ciel," she sighed, reaching out her hand as if to touch him. She was stopped again by the salt circle. "I missed you all those years. You'll be leaving again soon, won't you?"

"Not only I," he told her. "Your soul will go back to heaven, where it belongs."

"While her fiance is busy being king of hell?" Sebastian inserted. "I think not!"

"What do you mean, Sebastian?" Lizzie tilted her head, golden curls bouncing. Ciel turned and glared at him, silently trying to order his butler to shut his mouth.

He must not have wanted Sebastian to shut up that badly, because he never said anything aloud, and how was Sebastian supposed to know what his master wasn't saying? Preposterous! The demon continued.

"I'm merely suggesting that my young master take your soul with him when he leaves, that way, you'll be with him forever."

"Oh!" Lizzie looked positively delighted by this idea. Her hands were folded together and tucked beneath her chin, excitement making her look as adorable as was humanly possible. She turned pleading eyes on her fiance.

"Please, Ciel! Please, may I come with you?"

"But-" Ciel didn't seem like he really knew what to say. Why did it suddenly feel as if he were twelve again, trying to figure out what he could and couldn't say in front of his odd fiance. "Your soul belongs in heaven! What sort of sane person would voluntarily go to hell instead?"

"I would! For you, Ciel, I would go anywhere! My own heaven is not heaven unless you are there."

Ciel stared at her a moment, feeling his resolve thinning further and further with each moment he looked at her. Finally, he sighed. "Ah, damn it. Sebastian, free her."

"Yes, my young lord."

The salt line was wiped away and the young ghost girl happily stepped out of its limits and reached for Ciel Phantomhive's hand, swinging it between them. Ciel tried not to look as much like a child as thought he probably did at that moment.

He failed.

"We'll be going, Winchesters," he said coldly. "Remember what I said."

Then the three were gone, as well as the blue diamond that had summoned the girl in the first place.


Dean stared at the broken salt circle on the floor for a moment further, wondering when the hell his life had started jumping the shark. "I'm, uh, gonna get some beer."

"Never mind beer, mate, get something stronger!" Mick collapsed into a chair, feeling sick in more ways than one.

"An odd turn of events," Cas said softly. "We summoned the girl to get her help, and in the end, she joined him."

"Oh, thanks for the reminder!" Mick slumped down so his face was pressed to the table. "This was only the biggest failure of an operation ever! Why the hell did I join up with you lot?"

"Because it was supposed to be the right thing to do," Sam said in an exhausted manner. "Other than that, wouldn't know."

"I'm gonna..." Dean staggered toward the kitchen, presumably to get something to drink. Preferably something with a high alcohol content. He opened the fridge, but stared into it unseeingly for five minutes before he shut it again and leaned against the counter.

The little shit had been in the fucking bunker, had had the ability to kill them for almost ten minutes, and hadn't done it. Hell, the kid still had the ability to have them easily killed. And he wasn't doing it. Why the hell not?

Dean was confused, trying so hard to think, but he kept getting muddled. The adrenaline from the demons' arrival was still rushing through him, making it hard to think clearly and even harder to sit still and do nothing. Right now, all he wanted to do was shoot something, preferably the kid or his goddamned butler.

He shuddered, putting his face in his hands and trying to focus. A hand lightly settled on his shoulder, and if it hadn't been such a gentle touch, Dean would have straight up shot whoever the hand belonged to. But he recognized through his distraction that an unfriendly hand wouldn't be so gentle.

He looked up to see Cas, watching him with concern.

"Are you alright, Dean?"

The hunter shook with almost hysterical laughter. "No, Cas, I'm really not."

"You're in shock," the angel told him quietly.

"Yeah, no shit, Cas. We coulda died tonight, and this time, we wouldn't have come back. We usually end up in these kinds of situations, and usually, I have no doubt that we'll make it out alive. This time... this time was a little too close."

"I would have protected you if it came to that."

"And if the butler had an angel blade? Something tells me that Sebastian won't go down easy, maybe even more difficult to kill than Abaddon. He would've killed you before we realized what happened, and I..." Dean paused, unable to look his friend in the face. "I couldn't take that."

Cas was silent for a while, offering only his companionship, for which Dean was extremely grateful.

Finally, the angel spoke again. "We'll make it through, Dean. You Winchesters have an amazing habit of accomplishing the seemingly impossible, and when you've come up with a plan to defeat Ciel Phantomhive, I'll be right there beside you."

Cas's steady blue eyes spoke truth, and Dean nodded reluctantly. He had the feeling that this mess wouldn't work itself out, but maybe Cas was right. Hopefully, he was right.

Slowly, not daring to push his luck or reveal certain things he didn't want revealed, Dean pulled the angel in for a hug. The physical contact settled his nerves a little, even though he usually wasn't much of a hugger. He hoped Castiel didn't mind too much because the hunter felt like he needed quite a lot of hugging right now. How weird.

Cas wrapped his arms around his human in return and stayed there, incredibly grateful that they had not, in fact, died. If either one of them died, that meant that the angel would never get to tell his hunter how he felt, and that, more than anything else, would suck balls.


When Ciel finally returned to the palace of hell, it was with a queen on his arm.

It hadn't been his idea to call her that; in fact, he had been quite adamant that her existence remain a closely guarded secret. Because while Ciel was loathe to admit it, if the Winchesters had succeeded in using Lizzie against him with threats to her well-being, it would have worked. It would still work if some wayward demons caught onto the notion that he really did care for his fiance.

It seemed like Sebastian had known this. That was why he'd planted the idea of taking Lizzie with him into Lizzie's head. And that frustrated Ciel more than anything else. Some days, he really despised his butler.

The only reason Ciel had given in to Lizzie's demand that she be his queen was because she continued to give him that look, the adorable, pleading puppy-dog eyes that turned his resolution to dust. His stupid bastard of a butler had not stopped chuckling the entire way back to hell after he'd given in.

Weren't you supposed to lose your soul when you became a demon? With your soul went the ability to have emotions, especially love.

So why, why-oh-why, did he still feel affection for his technically-ex-fiance? Was it stupid and irritating and inconvenient? Yes. Absolutely, one hundred percent, yes. But the bright smile on her face upon seeing him for the first time in over a century had brought back all the old feelings he'd thought he'd rid himself of.

The damned bastard of a butler was still so smug. Ciel hated him. But he served a purpose, one which Ciel was still committed to, one which he would be committed to until he, or the earth, whichever came first, was destroyed. That purpose was to rule hell and rain destruction down upon the Winchesters, Men of Letters, and everything that had gotten in his way for a century.

For the time being, Ciel would just ignore it. Lizzie could be his queen if she wanted, hell, he would even have a throne made for her if she wanted that too. Sebastian the bastard-dog-demon-butler could be as smug as he pleased. It wouldn't do him any good, after all.

All Ciel had to do was make sure he kept a very tight leash on his dog.

Speaking of dogs...


Crowley scowled at the two demons who stood before his prison, angrily and futilely trying to make them go poof! into a pile of ashes.

His meatsuit hurt all over, even though it shouldn't. The host was dead; there shouldn't be any kind of communication between pain receptors, nerves, and the brain. But he hurt anyway, because goddamned Sebastian had been using a goddamned angel blade.

Goddammit.

"What do you want?" he snapped, infuriated by their continued smug silence.

The boy demon that was Ciel Phantomhive chuckled. "What, a master can't stop by to visit his dog? Is that so bad of me?"

"It is when you bring your other dog!"

"Oh, Sebastian? He's very well-trained, you know. Does exactly what I say, when I say it. The absolute, best kind of dog."

"You flatter me, young master."

"What do you want?" Crowley screamed. Or, he would have if his throat wasn't so raw from his conversation with Sebastian earlier. Instead, his voice came out as a kind of dry croak.

"Why, I would have thought it was obvious. I want you to be the other perfect dog."


OMAKE

Slowly, not daring to push his luck or reveal certain things he didn't want revealed, Dean pulled the angel in for a hug. The physical contact settled his nerves a little, even though he usually wasn't much of a hugger. He hoped Castiel didn't mind too much because the hunter felt like he needed quite a lot of hugging right now. How weird.

Cas wrapped his arms around his human in return and stayed there, incredibly grateful that they had not, in fact, died. If either one of them died, that meant that the angel would never get to tell his hunter how he felt, and that, more than anything else, would suck balls.

iii

"Oh, Ciel!" Lizzie squealed quietly, careful not to disturb the two men in the kitchen. "Are you really going to kill them?"

"Yes, of course I am," he said impatiently. "Hidden homosexual feelings between them don't change that!"

"Oh, but, but..."

Exasperated; "but what?!"

Mumbled; "but they're cute together!"

Still exasperated; "you're not wrong."

"Really, it would be quite a shame to slaughter such a couple before the coupling could begin," Sebastian observed.

"Shut your mouth, dog," Ciel snapped. Again, it wasn't wrong. "If they're not going to act on such simple, primal emotions as mutual attraction, then that's their fault, and if they die like that, it's still their fault!"

Lizzie earnestly entreated him to change his mind all the way home, but this was one argument in which she wouldn't get her way.


A/N: Hi guys! *avoids pitchforks* How've you been? Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I just haven't felt any desire to write anything at all, lately. I have a few other things that have sat un-updated for as long as this, so there's that.

Anyway. This was fun. Yep. I have to go work on Fairy Tail stuff now. I'm writing this all out on Friday evening because I don't have internet at home, so I have to wait till I get to school to update. Except it's spring break. AND ON MONDAY I GO TO DISNEY WORLD WEE-HEE

*slightly less excited* I get to spend 24 hours on a bus, wee-hee

*le sigh* At least it's a Trailways bus, right?

So, yeah. I might have more for you soon, because that's 48 hours on a bus all in all, and I can't sleep on the road. Update for you soon, I hope!


EDIT: I have never written an author's note as scatterbrained as this, holy shit. I've been watching a lot of Hetalia lately, so maybe Italy is getting into my head or something. BYE;)


ANOTHER EDIT: FOLLOWING FRIDAY EVENING: I meant to post this on Monday, I did. But then I left. For Disney World. It was great. But now my ankle's jacked up, and I have to watch Scoobynatural, so bye for now!