Chapter 7:
I curled back up in my bed and closed my eyes. I didn't expect to still be tired but listening to Jacob softly breathing in the bed next to me was oddly soothing. I drifted off to the sound of his chest rising and falling, my own Jacob lullaby.
I woke up at 9 that morning. Jacob was sprawled out, covering every inch of the bed next to me. He was snoring slightly. His silky black hair was in disarray around his face, fluttering slightly with each exhale. He looks so peaceful laying there I didn't want to wake him. Jacob had only been asleep 4 hours and I knew he would need more sleep than that. Weighing my options on what I could do to pass the time, I decided taking a shower while he was still asleep would be the best idea. From experience, I knew Jacob slept more soundly than Charlie so I wasn't worried about waking him up.
I gathered my toiletry bag and a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me tightly, locking it behind me. I shudder to think how awkward it would be if Jacob woke up and suddenly decided he needed to use the bathroom while I was showering. I wasn't even very comfortable with being naked while he was in the next room. It seemed too intimate for friends. Probably because I knew, deep down, Jacob never wanted to just be my friend. We had explored that once. I let him kiss me when I thought I was doing it to save his life. But then I turned around and shut down any chance of it moving forward. I'm not sure why he even keeps me in his life anymore. I always seem to cause him pain.
The shower was warm and felt good on my stiff muscles. After driving all day yesterday, it was much needed. I really need to have a contingency plan if Jacob couldn't fix my truck. I was still a day's drive away from Arizona. I wasn't overly keen on the idea of letting Jacob stick around. I know there are issues for him back in La Push, which were entirely my fault, but I still had personal issues to deal with. It's pretty hard to 'find yourself' when someone is constantly trying to pursue you. Not to mention I still owed it to Edward to be faithful, at least until I was ready to make permanent decisions.
I managed to get ready without waking him up and sat back down on my bed and turned the tv on. I figured I could watch it on low without waking him. If he did happen to wake up, it wouldn't be the end of the world. My stomach growled loudly as to agree with that point. There was absolutely nothing on tv, it must be a hotel thing. I've never been in a hotel and found anything decent to watch, not that I watched much to begin with. I found some tourist brochures on the night stand and began to flip through them. The Siskiyou County Museum seemed mildly interesting, boasting Gold Rush monuments. Though what I was really interested in was getting breakfast and I'm sure Jake would be on the same wavelength.
After about an hour Jacob began to move around more, indicating he was waking up. He sat up suddenly, seeming to have the same sense of confusion I had earlier when he woke me up. I had to stifle a giggle. His hair had the same rat's nest look that mine had when he arrived.
"Well aren't you a sight." I said, mocking what he had said to me last night.
"Gee thanks. You'd think you'd be a little more appreciative of the fact I drove all night to your rescue." Jacob said sitting up in bed, not bothering to fix his hair.
"I do appreciate it Jake. Really, I truly do. Slave for life, remember? You think you want to take a look at my truck or get some breakfast first?" I said, already knowing the answer.
"Two lifetimes I think." he said smirking. "Food is good. Let me jump in the shower real quick." Jacob replied as he got up and walked to the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door all the way behind him.
"You could close that, you know." I called after him. He might not have any sense of boundaries or personal privacy, but I certainly do.
He closed the door, mumbling something I couldn't understand. I started picking up the room just to have something to do. He came out from the bathroom in just a towel.
"Jake! Put some clothes on!"
"Like you haven't seen me without a shirt on before. But hey, I left my bag in my car, would you mind getting it?"
I rolled my eyes, "I could just let you go out there in your towel and get it."
He smirked, "I could just let you fix your car." Defeated, I went to retrieve his bag.
Once we were both fully dressed we found a Denny's just up the road and stopped to get breakfast. Jacob ordered half of the menu and I settled with pancakes.
"Jake, I'm worried about what will happen if you can't fix my car." Might as well get down to business.
"Well, if it's really bad we have a few options. Unfortunately it isn't worth a whole lot, you wouldn't be able to trade it in for something newer. You could always sell it for scraps and I could take you where ever you want. Or I could take you back to Charlie's and we could figure something else out." Jacob replied. He had a glimmer of hope in his eyes that I would let him tag along.
"Jake I really like my truck. I don't want something else. And it's not that I'm not grateful but I was really suppose to do this on my own." I feel awful even saying that.
His face hardened. "Well if you want to do this on your own I'll just take you back to Charlie."
"Jake please don't be like that. I don't want you to be mad at me too." I said softly. Tears started welling up in my eyes. I couldn't stand the thought of Jacob being angry with me. It was bad enough I had done that to Edward. I didn't want to push him away too. The weight of the enormous effect my decision had been building up. I reached my breaking point.
"Oh Bells, please don't cry. Please. We'll do whatever you want" He got up and sat on my side of the booth, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I nuzzled in closer and let him hold me. Jacob might not be good at saying the right thing all the time but he always managed to find a way to let me know he cared.
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "I just don't know how I'm suppose to figure things out with you around. You are my best friend but we both know that isn't what you really want. You let go of the grenade Jake, I'm not sure we can keep things platonic between us."
"Bella I'll be anything you want me to be. If you just need a room mate for a while, I can do that." Jacob said sincerely, giving me a smile. I wanted so much to believe him. He'd told me before that he could just be a friend but then tricked me into kissing him. I liked the idea of having my best friend there to talk to as I figured out what I was going to do.
Right on cue our food arrived.
**
"Bella can you hand me that wrench?" Jacob called from under the hood of my truck. I was sitting in the driver's seat with the door open and a bunch of tools laid out on the seat next to me.
"This one?" I asked holding up the wrench.
"Yes that one." Jacob looked up from the engine. He had grease smeared on his cheek. I walked over and handed it to him and went to wipe it off his face. His hand caught mine as if to keep it there, his eyes boring into mine. My heart skipped a beat, caught by surprise. Just friends my butt...
I dropped my hand and walked back to my seat on the drivers side.
He continued to check various things under the hood like nothing happened. Typical Jacob. That boy could bounce back from anything. I never seemed to be able to deter him.
"I have some bad news Bells." Jacob said as he walked around to the driver's side door, placing a hand on the top of the door and the other on the door jam.
I let out a sigh. "Let me hear it." I said bracing myself for the worst.
"It will cost more than the truck is worth to fix it. I could do it, but you'd be better off getting something newer with less milage. I'm sorry babe." He looked at me expectantly.
"So what do I do?" I asked. I had tried to be prepared for this. I shouldn't be upset, it's just a truck. But it wasn't just the truck. It was that it was broken for good. It was that I was so far from home. It was that I can't be the person I want to be. It was that I'd walked out on Edward. I put my head down on the steering wheel in defeat.
Sensing that I was close to a break down, Jacob took a step towards me. "Bella honey, I know that truck was your first car but this isn't the end of the world. Just sell it for parts and let's move on. I'll follow you where ever."
Of course he was right. For being younger than me, he did a much better job keeping his head on straight. "I guess I can add two years to your age for being able to make decisions like this."
He laughed, "Well I'll subtract two from yours for not getting it checked out before taking this little trip. You could have just asked me to look at it."
"I know" I replied. "So how old does that make us now?"
He pretended to think about it for a minute. "I guess that makes us the perfect age."
Sensing this could turn into another advance on Jacob's part I replied, "I think we have to subtract from your age because you haven't finished high school yet." God I could be so mean to him when I didn't know how to respond. I have got to stop doing this to my Jacob.
He looked conflicted for a minute trying to decide if he should respond or just let it go. "Lets see if there's a scrap yard around here that would be willing to come pick your truck up Bella."
"Sure, sure." I said flatly, which only caused Jacob to smile.
We did manage to find somewhere with a tow truck that was willing to take it. I was only getting $500 from my rusty old truck. It certainly wouldn't buy me anything else so I was going to have to pick between Charlie's and going with Jacob. I did not want to return to Forks. I needed a fresh start, but I wasn't so sure that going with Jacob would be a fresh start. Truth be told, I knew deep down I had wanted him around since he first offered. I was just afraid of what keeping him around would mean. I wasn't too keen on the idea of being completely alone. After all, I'm a complete danger magnet and having a werewolf around might not be a bad idea. And my sunny Jake was always willing to listen, even if it was to things I know hurt for him to hear.
We stood in the motel parking lot and watched the tow truck take away mine. I wrapped my arms around my body and felt Jacob slide up beside me and wrap his arm around my shoulder. It was completely ridiculous to him, but I knew he understood I was upset. He might have even known I was upset in more ways than one.
A/N: Ugh. I think this chapter was crap. I'm sorry it took so long for me to write it. Within the next two chapters or so things should start getting good. Fluffy possibly lemony good. On a better note, the movie comes out tonight 12:01 :)
