"Get a hold of yourself!" Gil said, shoving Niles away. "Dear God, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you need professional help! Perhaps I should call-."
"Yes! You're absolutely right! I do need professional help!" Niles said. "That's why I need to talk to Bulldog... badly!"
"Well I hardly think that Bulldog knows the first thing about psychiatry, but-."
"Not psychiatry, Gil... football! I need to learn everything I can about it and I don't have much time!"
Gil's eyes widened. "Football? Oh dear, this is much worse than I thought!" he reached for his cell phone and began to dial.
"911? Yes, this is Gil Chesterman at the KACL studios and I need to report a very disturbed individual!"
"I am NOT disturbed!" Niles yelled. "Now give me the address before I'm forced to do something we'll both regret! I've never caused a scene in a restaurant before but... what's the name of that restaurant you just gave four stars to? The one that everyone is raving about?"
"Never mind, it's not an emergency after all. So sorry to have bothered you."
Slowly, Gil closed his cell phone and turned to Niles.
"Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"Just give me his address!" Niles yelled. "I don't have all day!"
When Niles began to wheeze, Gil guided him to a chair and forced him to sit.
"Now, just relax and tell me what's so terribly important that you have to speak to Bulldog of all people? And more importantly, why are you hyperventilating?"
Niles forced himself to breathe deeply, but it wasn't easy.
"That's right." Gil coaxed. "Breathe in and out, in and out... slowly... slowly... Good job, Dr Crane's brother!"
"Thank you." Niles said, rolling his eyes when he managed to calm down.
"Now what seems to be the problem?"
"Daphne's at a Super bowl party at Roz's apartment." "
Gil gasped loudly. "Oh dear! This is terrible!"
Niles heart began to race. "It is?"
"Of course it is! I can't believe that Roz has sunk so low as to throw a party in celebration of such a ghastly event!"
"No, you don't understand! Daphne and I have nothing in common and when she asked me if she could go to this party I didn't hesitate to say yes. But I had no idea that she was such a big baseball fan! Why didn't she ever mention this before?"
"Baseball?"
"Why yes! The game that she's watching at Roz's."
"It's February, Niles! Why would they be showing a baseball game on Super bowl Sunday? It's hardly-."
Noticing Niles' blank expression, Gil shook his head. "Very well. I supposed there's no harm in giving you Bulldog's address. And I presume that this sudden interest in football has more to do with Daphne than anything. Am I right?"
As he looked at his friend, Niles' eyes filled with sadness. "I don't want to lose her, Gil."
"Lose her? Why, Daphne wouldn't leave you because of some ridiculous-."
When Niles lowered his head, Gil's expression faded. "Oh. I see. I'll be right back."
Minutes later, Gil returned, holding a small white business card in his hand.
"Here's the address but please don't share it with anyone. I'm giving it to you in the strictest of confidence and friendship."
Niles took the card and smiled. "Thank you, Gil. And thank you for the advice. It was very helpful."
Gil beamed with pride. "You're welcome! Perhaps I've missed my calling! I should have been a psychiatrist. What do you think, Niles?"
But Niles didn't hear him. He was already running out the door to his car.
