Darling, I Want to Destroy You
Chapter 07
By: StalkerDex
(Author's Note: I'm struggling terribly with the writer's block…for some reason this ENTIRE story has been an uphill battle for me! I already have a really great idea for my next Kyman story too *pouts* but I don't want to rush out of this one and not give it the time it deserves, so I will have to get this out nicely and then worry about the next…Anyways…Hopefully I can keep up the momentum with this thing. As always, thanks for reading!)
Eric could feel his face getting hot as he watched Stan, drunk off of his ass and whining at him. They had gone over to his house after their little run in with his mother to blow off some steam; at least that's what Kyle said. As far as Eric was concerned Stan could go jump off a cliff and die; fucking hippie piece of shit. He was being a real asshole.
All he had done since they'd gotten there was complain about how Kyle never wanted to spend time with him anymore and how everyone was such idiots and how he hated everything. It was like a blast from the past watching the scene unfold; he had gotten his cynicism under control for a quite a few years, but every so often (usually when drunk) it would all come pouring out, annoying everyone in it's path.
"Look, Kahl…come on, let's just get out of here," Eric insisted, grabbing Kyle's arm gently.
His Jewish boyfriend was sitting Indian style on Stan's floor, trying to reason with his drunk friend. Stan was a big fucking mess, laying on his side and waving his arms around as he spoke with a heavy slur.
"No, hang on," Kyle replied, hardly paying any attention to how upset his partner was. Eric really was not only irritated with Stan's behavior, but quietly jealous of how much of Kyle's attention he was receiving. Even though it wasn't romantic, Cartman didn't like to share Kyle. He knew it was a problem, and he knew it was starting to get under Kyle's skin, so he was trying his best to keep his mouth shut.
Tick tock. Their time was running out.
"Kyle…Kyle come on…you can tell me anything…" Stan whined, rolling his eyes around in that pretty little head of his. He was drunk off his ass.
"I don't know what you want me to say to you…I'm sorry we haven't hung out as much. I really am, but it's nothing against you. I've just been busy that's all…"
"Bullshit!" Stan suddenly shouted, sitting himself up and doing his best to look Kyle in the eyes. He was rocking back and forth, probably without his knowledge.
"No…No…" he said, putting his finger to Kyle's mouth in an effort to quiet him. Kyle just looked at him, also becoming a little frustrated. He hated when Stan was like this just as much if not more than Eric, but he had to try and calm him down. His family was out of town and he didn't want him doing something stupid while no one was around.
"Shhhh…" Stan said, still struggling to find his center, "You're full of shit an' I know it!"
Kyle didn't say anything, he simply sat there, looking at his best friend as he went on. Eric was standing beside them, his arms crossed as he obnoxiously rolled his eyes. He didn't have the courage to tell Kyle he wanted to leave, but he sure as hell had the stones to make it known he wasn't happy with the situation.
"Stop it, Eric!" Kyle suddenly snapped, turning his head around and glaring at Cartman, causing him to freeze. His eyes were a little widened with surprise as he watched Kyle grit his teeth and turn his attention back to Stan. Of course he was giving his attention to Stan. He had always given all of his attention to Stan. That's why Cartman always had to be so fucking mean to him; anything to have a moment of his time.
"Fuck you Kahl!" He shouted, causing the other two to look up at him, eyes wide with confusion. Kyle could tell his boyfriend was genuinely angry and he suddenly was overcome with a mixture of sympathy and anger. It was always so complicated with him.
"Eric…" he began, trying to keep his voice from wavering. Still, he was obviously shaken by the situation. He didn't want to be in between the two of them and he knew exactly what was going on.
"No…you shut up, Jew!" Eric yelled, his face flushing in with rage, "I've had enough. I can't do this…hiding like this. Fuck you…fuck you for being ashamed of me!"
Kyle felt a deep pit forming in his stomach. He was ashamed, though not of Eric as he seemed think.
"Eric…please…"
"No…shut the fuck up!" he shouted once more, grabbing Kyle's arm and jerking him up.
"Hey!" Stan suddenly yelled, standing himself up as well, "knock it off, both of you!"
"Shut up, Stan!" Eric and Kyle both hollered in unison, neither of them noticing the other.
Stan shut his mouth and stared at the two of them, eyes narrowing, "I knew it. You two, huh? You two are together."
"No we're not!" Kyle shouted out, not realizing the gravity of what he had just said. A long moment of silence passed between them as Stan watched them process what had just taken place.
Kyle's face, at first, was just blind rage. Though, quickly, it melted away to shame and regret as he seemingly panicked to find the right words.
Eric, on the other hand, instantly showed heartbreak. For a brief moment, Stan felt horrible for him. There was nothing worse than being denied by someone you…loved. That was it. He could see it now. They weren't just fucking the shit out of each other…Eric was in love with Kyle. He swallowed hard, feeling a little guilty for trying so hard to cause a rift between the two of them. This was his fault.
"Eric…I…"
"No…Kyle. Just…just stop," he said, his voice filled with disappointment. He was completely tired of it and felt so much like giving up.
Silence took over once more before Kyle finally mustered up the courage to look at his lover, shame filling his green eyes.
"I love you, Kyle."
The Jewish boy's heart skipped a beat. He knew that, but it was one thing to know and another to hear it.
"I love you," he continued, "but I can't be with someone who's ashamed of me. We're done…" he said, his voice wavering much like it did every time he tried to reason with his mother. He had broken his heart just as badly, if not worse, than Liane did to him every single day of his life. The difference was he couldn't walk away from her.
"Eric, wait…I'm sorry…" Kyle spat out, taking a step towards him.
"Fuck off, Kyle," Cartman said, swallowing his tears and walking out of the room.
Tick tock…time had run out. Kyle was the object of his obsession, affections and desires for most of his life and the time they'd spent together had been so fucking fleeting. He felt like he wanted to die.
Stan and Kyle stood in silence together for a second before Kyle slammed his fist into the wall of Stan's bedroom, screaming as loud as he could. He didn't know what else to do. Stan watched, quietly wallowing in the guilt he felt for his part in the situation.
"I'm sorry…I didn't know…" Stan finally said softly, touching his friend's shoulder. Kyle stood still for a moment before his shoulders started to shake violently as he allowed himself to cry.
"It's not your fault Stan," he whined between sobs, "I did this to myself. I can't love him the way he loves me…I just can't."
Stan felt his stomach drop to the floor as Kyle walked out of his room, sobbing and angry.
Fuck.
(Author's note: This is NOT the end of the story! Just wanted to let y'all know more is coming :D)
