Subject Zero

- August, 2185

"Vandalism, Theft of a military vessel, joined up a cult..." Jack continued boasting about her endeavors.

Messalina let out a deep heartfelt sigh from within. Jack's rote of lifetime achievements only made Messalina want to padlock the stairwell to the dim lit basement the two were conversing in. Among the stack of crates, Messalina could make out the makeshift bed Jack had set up on the floor, and none to surprisingly, the beginnings of graffiti on the pristine walls of the Normandy.

Her initial impulse was to scrunch down and start wiping the walls with detergent. It shocked her to no end when her mind began wrapping around the fact that she had instinctively thought so. She silently cursed Hannah Shepard again, before determining she wasn't going to go all Miranda on Jack.

"Well, good for you." Messalina finally said.

Jack squinted her eyes at Shepard. "Aren't you going to ask me about it?"

Messalina pondered the colorful tattoos running up and down Jack's body. It all screamed of a call for attention. Messalina had to admit that was her first impression of Jack. Juvenile, childish, and irresponsible. The difference between the acts of violence between Zaeed and Jack could be expressed as the difference between a well aged brandy and moonshine, respectively, of course. While Zaeed seemed to brim with quiet murderous anger, Jack flaunted about in abandon, sometimes literally.

"I am sure you'll tell me anyway." Messalina muttered.

"Huh?" Jack couldn't catch Messalina, and Shepard's usual wry grim face was as forthcoming as a rock. As predicted, Jack went on to boast about her time in piracy, her random acts of violence, the decimated Hanar moon and much more. Despite the severe level of violence related in her tales Messalina found herself growing bored. Unlike Zaeed's stories of murder and butchery, Jack's story lacked narrative. Perhaps it was the consistent interruption of narrative with Jack's habitual "you know?" to which Messalina would catch herself from involuntarily replying "Yes, I know".

Watching Jack, Messalina was again his with a quiet surprise at how many wanted or would be criminals she was harboring aboard the Normandy. The Baby Krogan, the Juvenile delinquent and the Human Warlord were all residing on the same floor, like some nightmarish sitcom. She briefly wondered if she should pull Tali from the engine room and have her stay in the crew quarters with the lesser evils of the ship. At least Garrus would keep her from the murderous crazies.

"You know," Jack began, to Messalina's ire, "you and I could go all pirate."

"Huh?" It was Messalina's turn to get fazed. "You want to be my first mate?"

"This ship packs quite a punch." Jack explained, excitedly. "I bet we can subjugate worlds with this. I'll take care of all the murderous rampage you need. You know. Like Executions and stuff."

"What stuff?" Messalina tried to concentrate on Jack.

"Huh?"

"You said, 'Executions and stuff'. What else are you planning to do?"

"You know," Jack spat irritably. "killing."

"Which is executions." Messalina tried desperately to wrap her head around Jack's thinking.

Jack glared venomously at Messalina. "Leave me alone, Shepard."

Messalina sighed and picked herself up from the floor. Her short conversation with Jack had left her with severe doubt at the Illusive Man's plan of action.

"I just don't know why he's calling himself the 'Illusive man'." Messalina complained back in her cabin. The private encoded communicator was outfitted with the most advanced encryption only available to the most formidable intelligence agencies in the galaxy. It was even beyond Cerberus technology, hence it served as Messalina's frequent unadulterated gossip line to the Shadow Broker.

"Shepard," The Shadow Broker sighed in a genuine loss of words.

"Switch off that voice filter, T'Soni." snapped Messalina.

"All right," the Shadow Broker's voice returned to the melodious tones of the Asari scholar.

Messalina toyed around with the picture frame that held Liara's image on her desk. She had changed into her N7 hoodie, her legs up-stretched on her desk with Boo scurrying around on her belly, eating off the crumbs Messalina sprinkled once in a while.

"What does that even mean?" Messalina complained. "I'm not even sure what he wants me to do."

"Should you be doing everything he asks you to do?"

"Hmmm." Liara always made a good point. Messalina attributed it to the reserved nature of her Asari companion. Messalina, while somewhat detached from most human interactions, was still the "doer" in their relationship rather than the "thinker", which Liara had comfortably settled into. "I still have to make sure this 'team', if you can call it that, functions when we go through that relay."

"Shepard, you really can't expect to have your team functioning properly in their current state of mental confusion. Besides, I hardly think you yourself has come to terms with, so to speak, being born again."

Boo had started shitting himself on Messalina's stomach. Messalina picked the rodent up by its neck and carried it to the plastic cage she had bought on Illium.

"How are you feeling?" Liara gently intoned.

Messalina shrugged the small nail clipping sized Hamster shit to the floor, opened the cage and dropped Boo in. Boo immediately set about making itself comfortable with the wood scrapings. "Caged."

"Interesting," Liara commented. "coming from an ex-Spectre in bed with Cerberus flying around in a resurrected body in a resurrected ship with ties to no nation."

"I see ahead, Liara." Messalina whispered, just audible enough. "to just that point in time, where there's a mission, and there's an objective."

Boo had climbed onto its treadmill, running frantically, as is his life depended on it.

"You have choice, Messalina." assuaged Liara.

"Really?" Messalina let out a short derisive laugh. "You think we'll be spending next month on vacation on Ilos? You think we'll be walking our kids through Prothean ruins? Then why the hell aren't you here? Why the hell am I risking my life to save an ingrate Galaxy than being there with you?"

"Because you don't want to." Liara drove the ball home bluntly.

Messalina was at a loss of words. It happened when talking to Liara vis-a-vis Garrus or Kaidan, who would usually meander off to a safe distance.

"You don't want to stay here in Hagalaz, as much as I don't want to leap through the Omega-4 relay with you. It's not about feelings, Messalina. It's about what you will sacrifice with yourself no matter what the cost. I will do everything I can to help you survive for just one more day. And you will do everything to ensure that you save the Galaxy."

Messalina watched Boo rapidly churning his wheel, in persistent focused Sisyphean energy.

"Don't fool yourself, Shepard." Liara continued. "You wander off from your purpose in life, once in a while, to grasp at meaning. But you know in your core that what you are meant to be in life is a Savior. Ashley often preached her religion to me, of a Savior that willingly gave himself to save the soul of everyone else, equally ungrateful as the Galaxy is now. Do you know what intrigued me the most?"

Messalina was atheistic. Her scientist/soldier mother had never allowed much mysticism in their lives. "What?"

"That he, too, had doubts in the end. It was an interesting fable, though I did get tired of Ashley's vigor. You know what I'm telling you, Shepard."

Messalina watched as Boo, exhausted, jumped off the wheel.

"That I'm going to die, Liara." Messalina concluded, sotto voce.