Tegan is aimlessly pacing the bus with her phone in hand, waiting for Lindsey to call. Sara has pushed her over the edge and isn't stopping, and as she paces with her shoulders hunched and her head down she knows her body is portraying the defeat she feels. She is tired of Sara and she is tired of constantly tormenting herself. She had always been too conflicted and afraid to say anything to Sara about what had been going on, knowing that if she spoke up it could possibly make or break their relationship. Now however, she no longer cares, she just knows she can't live like this forever. Tegan needs something, anything to change. Good or bad it needs to happen. What they are doing to each other is unhealthy. The fact they are sisters makes the whole relationship taboo and shameful and sickening. But also the fact that they use each other for, while mind blowing, mindless sex is wrong. And, while Tegan knows all this, she still has no idea what she is going to do.

Lindsey was suppose to call her an hour ago and the anxiety Tegan has woken up with is not subsiding. Last night it had taken Tegan hours before she was able to close her eyes and fall asleep. Sara had stayed in the bathroom for over an hour before she finally came out and Tegan watched her naked silhouette in the dark, creep over to her bed and ruffle around for a shirt. Hidden by her sheets, she then had listened to Sara's breathing turn steady, waiting for herself to also slip into unconsciousness. Instead though, Tegan lay awake staring into the darkness throughout most of the night and when finally falling asleep, was only to be assaulted by unwelcome dreams.

She had woken from one of the dreams choking and spluttering and had immediately turned to reach out for Sara, only to remember that she would not be a source of comfort but only dejection. The dream had began with Tegan walking through fields of grass and over hills, it was night but the moon and stars were casting a glow that allowed Tegan to see where she was walking. No one was in sight but Tegan had a sense of urgency as she walked. She was looking for Sara, she didn't know why but her search felt desperate. She tried to call out Sara's name but no sound would come out of her throat and no matter what direction she walked, she could not find her. As Tegan walked she found herself standing in front of a fountain she had once fell into as a child. Looking into the water littered with coins, instead of seeing herself in the reflection, she was looking at Sara. Tegan dipped her hand into the water disturbing Sara's face but was unable to actually feel it. When she retracted her hand, Sara began to frown and her face began to sink deeper into the water, away from Tegan. Tegan tried to grab her but her hands would only sift smoothly through the water and cause it to splash up into her face. Sara opened her mouth as if to cry out and Tegan plunged her hands further into the fountain to try and grab her but she found that the bottom of the fountain had disappeared and that she could no longer see how deep it was. Sara was no longer trying to speak but still Tegan could tell by her eyes that she was pleading for help. In one last attempt Tegan reached her arms in as far as she could to Sara, causing her to plunge face first into the fountain and with Sara, began to drown.

The phone in Tegan's hand finally begins to ring, but only her message tone can be heard. Tegan opens the message reading Lindsey's name attached to it and reads the small black text on the screen.

'Hey T, can't call right now. I'm going to come down early tomorrow to see you. We can talk then. LB xo'

Tegan looks away from the message to the sound of movement from the back of the bus to see Sara stagger out of bed wearing Tegan's shirt. In the dark Sara had put on whatever shirt she could find last night and that shirt happened to be the one she had previously just removed from Tegan's body. Tegan stares at Sara and she stops to glance down at what she is wearing now that she can see it in the light before quickly disappearing into the bathroom.

It is after the show and Tegan is alone in her hotel room and happy to be. Sara is for once being the social Quin and is downstairs somewhere with everyone else enjoying life. Tegan has already turned all the lights off and is in bed begging for sleep. She knows what the message Lindsey has sent her means. She knows why Lindsey is coming to visit her early. She knows that this has been coming for a long time. Lindsey is either sick of pretending with Tegan or she has found someone else. Tegan is lying in bed trying to mentally prepare herself in advance for what is to come. Lindsey has been her rock for a long time now, without her Tegan feels like she is going to be thrown to the wolves or at least one wolf in particular. She is doing her best though to think positive, perhaps this is the change she needs, perhaps without Lindsey it may force her to grow a backbone when it comes to Sara.

Just as Tegan's mind begins to empty and she slowly starts to drift to sleep she hears the card being swiped at the door and the the click as it opens. Tegan listens for her sister as she pads through their hotel room, she can hear the ruffle of clothing and the occasional sigh but other than that not a sound. Tegan squeezes her eyes shut and wishes to sink into the mattress until she disappears when she feels her sister's body curl up against her. Tegan hates herself in these moments when despite what her mind thinks she feels her body already becoming aware and excited by this new contact. Sara reaches her hand around Tegan's body and as usual begins her descent into Tegan's underwear. Tegan doesn't want this, not now and not like this. Just as Sara is about to reach her destination, Tegan in a breathy and hoarse voice whispers, "No." Sara's hand stops but remains resting flat against Tegan's lower stomach. She is shocked that Tegan has actually found the guts to speak up. She quickly regains her composure and lets the sadness and bitterness she harbors towards Tegan invade her mind. "No?" Sara whispers back just as quietly. Tegan reaches her hand down and peels Sara's hand off her body and drops it behind her with the rest of Sara's limbs. "No." Tegan confirms.

Sara props herself up on her elbow and leans over Tegan searching her face in the darkness, daring Tegan to look at her. Tegan refuses and remains staring at the wall in front of her. Tegan can smell the alcohol on Sara's breath and despite Tegan already removing her hand from her body she brings it back to lightly rest on her hip. Tegan furrows her brow in brief confusion as Sara's breathing begins to become uneven and ragged and it suddenly occurs to Tegan what is happening. Sara has one hand down the front of her own underwear and is fucking herself right next to Tegan.

Sara is unforgiving in her movements, pushing her fingers in hard and fast, tightening her grip on Tegan's hip. She is staring at her sister's motionless body and at the back of her mind feels disgusted in herself as she waits to see just how much Tegan has got to say. Tegan continues staring at the wall in silence, biting her lip to prevent herself from crying while every so often being bumped forward slightly by her sister's frantic thrusting and bucking of her hips. Tegan can smell Sara's sex filling the room and it is a smell Tegan revels in every time it invades her nostrils. Tegan is turned on and completely repulsed all at the same time. As Sara comes closer to her orgasm, she once again sinks her teeth into Tegan's shoulder just like she always loves to. Tegan closes her eyes from the pain of Sara's teeth sinking into her shoulder, the pain of her fingers digging into her hip and the pain that never seems to leave her heart. Sara comes hard and her grip and the pressure of her teeth intensifies until she becomes limp and still, resting against Tegan's body.

Now that Sara is no longer touching herself, Tegan slowly turns onto her back and without looking at Sara quietly asks, "Happy?" Sara sighs and brings her hand up to Tegan's mouth, using her wet fingers that were just inside of her to trace the shape of Tegan's lips. "No." She answers and is gone from Tegan's bed. Tegan licks her lips despite herself and lets the tears leak from the corner of her eyes. Both girls know that this is the first time they are acknowledging the fact they fuck each other, but their detached and briefly shared words aren't changing things like they had thought they would. Breaking their silent barrier if anything has made the situation feel ever the more tragic and hopeless, because neither of them have the courage to actually really say anything that could mean anything at all.

Sara has always been able to keep herself in control. Tegan has always been the dramatic twin that follows her heart rather than her head, therefore leaving people to perceive her as being the more vulnerable of the two. But now, this morning, as Sara lies hiding in her bed, she feels as if soon she will shatter and break. Sara cannot help it, she used to be able to fuck Tegan and then push it out of her mind until it came to night when she would let go and do it all over again. But now she aches for it all the time, even for the freedom to just go up to Tegan and simply enclose her small hand in her own. Sara had thought she was in control of this. She thought she was getting away with it, that she could ignore it. But now it seems she instead has just been slowly losing her mind, only finally realising when it is too late and she has gone too far with Tegan to stop.

Lindsey and Tegan are sitting opposite each other in a booth at a cafe down the street from the hotel. Tegan had slipped out of their room without waking Sara, she needed to get this over and done with on her own. They had said hello to each other but now that they are sitting they both have assumed silence. Tegan can tell by Lindsey's face that she is trying to find the right words to say that would hurt her least. "It's okay Lindsey, I know." Tegan says. Lindsey sighs. "I'm sorry it's just I-" "Come on LB, don't go there." Tegan interrupts. She doesn't want to hear apologies or excuses, they both knew what this was from the very beginning. They are above apologies and excuses, but Tegan does want to know facts. "Did you meet someone?" Tegan asks. "Yes." Tegan smiles, it's a sad smile but a genuine smile all the same. "Good, I'm happy for you." Lindsey sighs again. "What about you? I want to be happy for you too." Tegan shrugs. "I'm fine. Things are getting better." Lindsey reaches her arm across the table and pulls at Tegan's open hoody, exposing the fresh teeth marks in her shoulder that she had gotten a glimpse of earlier. "That's better?" Tegan covers her shoulder with her hand and changes the subject. "You'll still call me all the time right?" Tegan asks. "Of course I will Tegan." For the rest of their time together Tegan keeps her hand on her shoulder absentmindedly tracing the teeth marks Sara had left in her skin with her fingers, while contemplating just how things could possibly get better before they got worse.

Back at the hotel, Sara kicks her bed sheets off of her body and maps out in her head the journey to the bathroom. It is only mere meters away but Sara doesn't feel like moving. One glance down to underwear clad body however, makes her decision for her and she walks into the bathroom closing the door incase Tegan comes back. In the bathroom Sara showers and afterward brushes her teeth with her ear to the door, listening for movement as she is not sure whether she is still alone or not. She has no idea where Tegan has gone or when she is coming back and she is really getting sick of her running off on her all the time. It drives Sara crazy when she does not know where Tegan is and this time is no different. Hearing no sound Sara makes her way out of the bathroom in only her towel shivering slightly at the cool air hitting her exposed wet skin. Putting on her underwear and a pair of black jeans, Sara makes her way over to Tegan's suitcase and pulls out her denim blue button up. Wrapping herself in a shirt that holds a hint of Tegan's scent, Sara finds shoes and walks out of their room, not quite prepared for what the day is about to throw at her.