A nervous murmur went through the crowd.
Everything seemed to be in place: Groom, bridesmaids, flower girls, the justice of the peace. But there was no sign of the bride—or the best man.
House stood there, looking uncomfortable, wondering what the hell was the holdup.
He shifted a bit on the balls of his feet. He fiddled with the collar of his shirt. He exhaled.
Was there any place more lonely than all by yourself at the altar?
Finally, an official from the mansion walked briskly to the front of the aisle, whispered something in House's ear. House's neck turned red.
Cameron looked at Chase: "What the hell is going on?" she whispered. The tiniest part of her was thrilled by this development.
"I have no idea," he whispered back, genuinely concerned.
House regained his composure.
"Small delay folks," he said, with a false amount of cheer. "Please stay in your seats. Or, uh, mull about. Or, yell 'fire!' and see what happens. We'll be back to your regularly scheduled wedding shortly."
And he limped off the stage. As he left, he gave his mother an unconvincing smile.
"It's fine," he said.
In reality, he wasn't sure it would ever be fine again.
######
Wilson had to keep himself from calling out her name, like he was looking for a lost dog.
He went to the pond, where a family of ducks were happily wading. He thought she might be sitting on the bench, but it was empty.
He looked under a group of trees and then in the corral where a donkey chewed its cud and stared at him.
No sign of Cuddy.
Finally, he saw a groundskeeper. An older guy, in stained overalls and a John Deere baseball cap.
"Have you seen a . . ."
"Beautiful woman in a wedding dress?" the guy said.
"That would be the one."
"I saw her about 40 minutes ago, heading to the barn," he said. And he pointed at a barn that was about 10 acres in the distance.
"She looked pretty upset," the groundskeeper offered.
'That makes two of us," Wilson said—and he ran toward the structure.
He was slightly out of breath when he got there. He opened the rickety door.
"Cuddy!" he yelled.
There was no answer.
There were two horses and a goat, but no sign of Cuddy. He opened one of the stables. And there she was, sitting on the floor, her back against the stable wall, her wedding dress pooled diaphanously around her.
"What the hell are you doing?" he said accusingly.
She looked at him.
"I have no idea, Wilson," she said. "I have no idea what I'm doing." Her voice sounded so pained that he took pity on her.
He sat on a bale of hay—he attempted to wipe it off first, but found there was literally no way to turn a bale of hay into a clean surface.
"You're getting married," he said softly. "To a man who loves you."
"I know he loves me," she said. "And I love him, too. So much, Wilson. So much that I allowed myself to go along with this charade."
"It's not a charade," Wilson said.
"Of course it is. This isn't House. This isn't what he wants. We're starting the rest of our lives with a lie."
"But he does want this," Wilson said. "That's why he's here. That's why he's standing at the altar at this very moment, probably freaking out because he doesn't know where the hell you are."
Cuddy closed her eyes.
"I feel like a fool," she said. "I feel like I allowed myself to get so swept up in the excitement of the proposal and the wedding planning, I didn't even stop to think: Where do we go from here? With me and House and Rachel living in some domestic utopia, like Ozzie and Harriet? I mean, c'mon, he's House. He'll be bored. He'll be resentful. He'll lash out. And Rachel and I will get caught in the crossfire."
"That's not fair!" Wilson said. "He's here because he loves you."
"That's the point!" she said. "He's just doing this for me. He claims he wants it, too. But I know otherwise. I'm forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do. And that never works with House. Never."
"He proposed to you," Wilson said. "You didn't ask for that. And he's the one who wanted this wedding. You didn't ask for that either."
"He's trying to please me. He walks on eggshells around me because he's so afraid of losing me," Cuddy said.
"Is that really so bad?" Wilson said.
She sighed, shook her head, shifted a bit on the barn floor.
That was when Wilson noticed the boots.
"Are you wearing motorcycle boots with your wedding dress?" he asked.
She smiled, pulled up her train to reveal the rugged black boots.
"Yeah. . . that's what House and I are doing for our honeymoon. Taking a cross-country road trip on his motorcycle. It's like a fantasy of his or something."
She started to tear up.
"At least, that's what we were going to do."
"You can still do it," Wilson said. "It's not too late. Go in there, marry the man you love. Start your life together."
She wiped her eyes.
"Wilson, do me a favor. Get him for me, okay? I need to talk to him. They've got one of those golf cart thingies. Make sure he uses it. He shouldn't be walking this far on his leg."
######
Wilson sprinted back to the mansion. House was sitting at a table in the bride's dressing room with Arlene, Julia, and Blythe.
He had his head in his hands.
"House, I need to talk to you," Wilson said quietly.
"Did you find her?" Arlene asked.
"Is she okay?" asked Blythe.
"Yes, I found her. And yes, she's okay. And she wants to talk to House—alone."
House popped up, followed Wilson into the hall.
"What the fuck is going on Wilson?" he said. His voice was shaking.
"She's freaking out a little bit," Wilson said. "Just some, uh, last minute jitters. You just need to talk her off the ledge."
"Does she still want to marry me or not?" House said.
"She does," he said, although he wasn't totally sure. "She's just scared. Just go to her. She's in the barn. In the stable. There's a golf cart you can ride to get you there faster."
House nodded, headed toward the golf cart.
Cameron came into the hall, saw Wilson.
"Is everything okay?" she said in a voice moist with concern.
"Everything's fine Cameron," Wilson shot back. "Go back to your seat."
####
House entered the stable and saw Cuddy sitting on the floor. Unlike Wilson, he sat down right next to her on the ground.
They were a strange sight—a man in a black tux, his legs stretched out in front of him and a woman in a white wedding gown, her legs bent at the knees and apart, sitting on a dirty barnyard floor, side-by-side.
"I didn't think you'd want to go for bestiality this early in the marriage," he said, a lame attempt at a joke.
She gave him a smile that said—I appreciate your stab at humor but we both know there's nothing funny about this situation.
"What's going on Cuddy?" House said. He sounded hurt, dejected, and more than a little scared.
She took his hand and something about the gesture freaked him out further. It was like she was preparing him for some bad news.
"You know I love you," she said.
"But . . .?"
"But . . .nothing. I love you. It's just that this isn't what you want."
"What I want?"
"Yes, what you want."
"I think I'm the best judge of what I want."
"And you want all this?" she said, gesturing toward the mansion.
"I want to be married to you. The rest is just details."
"It's not supposed to be details, House! It's supposed to be the best day of your life."
"It was the best day of my life. Until you ruined it by leaving me at the altar!"
The phrase "leaving at the altar," with all of its dramatic implications, rattled Cuddy a bit.
"I didn't leave you at the altar," she said.
"It sure as fuck felt that way."
"I just don't want to feel like I coerced you into something you don't want to do."
"Stop it!" he said. For the first time, real anger had crept into his voice. "Stop making it seem like this is something you're doing for me. You're scared. You're having doubts. And you're blaming me."
"I have no doubts," she said. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I have no doubts either," he grumbled.
"But be straight with me. Look me in the eye and tell me that you want all this."
He looked at her. Paused.
"I don't," he said, somewhat defiantly. "I don't give a rat's ass about of any of this. The guests, the fucking caterer, the shade of purple your bridesmaids are wearing. I just want to be your husband, Cuddy. I just want to start my life with you and Rachel."
"And I want to be your wife!" she said emphatically.
And for the first time, they both laughed.
"Cuddy, this is ridiculous," he said. "We both want the same thing. I don't care how we get there. I'll do whatever you want. You want to blow this joint, head out on my bike? Find some crappy little chapel in Nevada with an organist banging out 'Here Comes the Bride'?"
She sighed. Tilted her head toward him. He tilted his toward her until they touched.
"It seems kind of silly to do that, what with a whole wedding being set up for us, less than half a mile away," she said.
"My thoughts exactly," he said.
She opened her hand, pressed her delicate palm to his larger one.
They kissed.
"Gregory House, will you marry me?" she said.
"I will, Lisa Cuddy. I will . . . I will. . .I will. . ."
#####
The wedding was simple, fast, and very them.
Cuddy and House recited homemade vows.
She promised to always love him and cherish him and never wear a flannel nightgown to bed—"but if you think being my husband is an excuse to get out of clinic duty, you have another think coming."
He promised to worship her like the goddess she was and be a little less of a pain in her ass, at least on alternating Tuesdays.
And when the justice of the peace pronounced them man and wife, their kiss was long and lingering, and filled with a kind of love that permeated the room.
There was rousing applause.
House shook Wilson's hand. "Thank you," he mouthed. (He noticed that his best friend was a little teary eyed.)
Then he kissed his mother, kissed Arlene, stood awkwardly in front of Julia, his hands at his side, not sure what to do.
"Oh give me a kiss, you idiot," she said, hugging and kissing her new brother-in-law.
Their first dance as husband and wife was to Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time." It was a little different this time—House wasn't wearing a powdered wig, Cuddy didn't leave halfway through the song, and a beaming three-year-old wrapped her chubby arms around them and danced right along with them.
When the reception ended, House traded in his tux for a motorcycle jacket and Cuddy lifted her train to reveal her boots, much to the delight of the crowd.
His Honda was waiting for them out front, with a hand-painted sign in the back that read: "JUST MARRIED."
"Ready for our adventure, Mrs. House?" House said, tightening the strap on her helmet.
"House, with you, every day is an adventure."
And they took off.
THE END
