Family Drama
Chapter 7 - Weirdest therapy EVER!
Next chapter.
Good news for people who read Alvin's Show! The next episode is coming out soon! And my rules shouldn't take too long either.
Also, I started typing a fantasy novel, so...
Ki: So? You seriously need to showoff?
KiBoy: Who asked you?! I can delete you with two pressess of backspace!
Ki: You wouldn't dare!
KiBoy: Oh really? Then look at this!
: Okay, I'm sorry! Type me again!
KiBoy: Don't start with me, Kalvin.
Ki: Oh come on... I thought everybody forgot about that nickname...
KiBoy: Nope.
KiBoy: Well, I guess Toby will be the last to lose... no, wait... what about Dave?
David: Ha ha ha. What about Ian, hmmm?
KiBoy: Don't forget he and Zoe are married...
Alex: Okay, so that's supposed to stop him? How? * Notices Ruby. * Well, hello there sexy, I didn't see you standing there...
Ruby: Huh?
KiBoy: Are they done yet?
David: No. I think Alex kind of likes you Ruby, and he barely knows you.
Ruby: Whatever. I've got my perfect lover right here.
KiBoy: * Trollface in Alex's direction. *
Alex: Wait, what I'm doing? David, what I'm doing?!
David: KiBoy, what were some of the side affects of being resurrected that fast?
KiBoy: Let me think...
- Sluttines...
- Slow disappearance of sexual organs...
- Having sex with your worst enemy...
KiBoy: These are the three main I know off.
Alex: Oh, great. Just great...
David: And so far two of them have appeared right?
I forgot about one.
- Possible rampage and murder of your own family members.
I thought you, Dave and Matt should know that... and be sure to make Hailie safe!
David: If Hailie dies then that means Alex would probably kill himself!
KiBoy: But he is going to kill himself... after he kills everyone from his family. However... I might be able to stop that... for a price.
Ki: YOU GREEDY BASTARD!
Matt: Hey, is that supposed to be an insult towards Chris Benoit?!
David: Calm down Matt. And I told all of you once, it's not up to me. And I mean the second he would see Hailie's body, the second he would kill himself on the spot.
KiBoy: I need an anti-nympho therapy... who can help me? ( A/N ) Epic off-topic plot twist of doom! ( A/N )
David: I know someone. Unfortunetly she's in jail right now... even though I heard her mom's pretty good.
KiBoy: Who's her? I can free her in a flash.
David: DON'T! Not unless you want her and Alex to kill each other.
KiBoy: Then I'll just visit her... but someone needs to go with me.
David: Like who?
KiBoy: Somebody who knows where she is... Eh whatever. I'll take you. * Teleports himself and David to the prison. *
Prison guard: Are you visiting?
KiBoy: Yup. I want to visit Kate Petrenko. ( A/N ) Don't ask why I know her name now... Let's say I talked to David while we've been teleporting... even if it doesn't make sense... but hell, what makes sense here? ( A/N )
Prison Guard: I'm sorry, but visiting hours are ov- * KiBoy blasts his brain off with a sawn off. * ( A/N ) See what I did there? ( A/N )
KiBoy: Okay... she's in that cell.
David: What the hell! What a lier! Visiting hours aren't over for another 55 minutes!
KiBoy: Maybe he didn't like rodents... Okay... Kate, you are FREE! * Blasts the cell door. *
Kate: IT'S ABOUT TIME! I wa- DAVID?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
David: * Sarcastically. * Nice to see you too Kate.
KiBoy: I heard you could help me.
Kate: It depends. Are you with him?
KiBoy: I only needed him to show me the way, but he was useless. * Teleports David back to the house. * That means no.
Kate: Okay. What you need? Nothing comes without a price though...
KiBoy: Fine... I need a therapy.
Alex: * Appears from nowhere. * Man, don't do it, what she wants in return is not worth it. * Disappears. *
Kate: WHAT THE-?!
KiBoy: I'll annihilate Ki later... So, can you help me?
Alex: * Appears. * Don't do it man, what she wants is to be together, and the ending won't be pretty, you'll wind up like me. ( A/N ) You mean I'll get kamikazed by an Okinawian soldier? That would be kind of hard to happen. ( A/N )
KiBoy: ALEX, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TRYING TO GET HELP FOR MYSELF! * Punches Alex through the prison walls. *
Alex: * Goes back to where he was. * Okay, so say you do accept her offer and you two are together after this. What are you gonna do seven years down the road, and you find out she's been seeing someone else, sucking his dick, and kissing you on the lips, huh?
KiBoy: She haven't even said what she wants! * Punches Alex 9001 times in his face. * And I'm not going to fix your nose!
Alex: Fine, don't listen to me. Don't say I didn't warn you! * Disappears. *
Kate: So what do say about my offer?
KiBoy: And that is...?
Kate: Well... I know I just met you... you're kind of sexy so... will you go out with me after this? ( A/N ) For all the single guys out there. Here's a tip: If you want girls flocking after you... JUST BE ME! HA HA HA! ... Yeah, I know... Not funny. ( A/N )
KiBoy: I guess... I've got nothing to lose, right?
Kate: Okay, so what do ya need therapy for?
KiBoy: Well... I'm a nympho.
Kate: Oh, well, uh, don't you think we should get out of this prison first?
KiBoy: Right... Where do you want to go?
Kate: Well, we might need to stop at my house. This orange jumpsuit is gonna draw some attention.
KiBoy: Fine. * Teleports to Kate's house. * I'll wait outside.
Kate: Actually, I have something in mind to help. I believe that the best way to solve problems, is to let it all out. So... what do ya say? ( A/N ) Say no you... you... me? * Konfusion. * ( Misspelled on purpose, mind you. ) ( A/N )
KiBoy: You mean...
Kate: I think you know. * Smiles seductively which reminds KiBoy of Makayla. *
KiBoy: Well... * Follows her. * ( A/N ) Facedesks a billion times in a volcano. ( A/N )
Kate: You know you would be surprised on how much my sister taught me about sex and seducing a male when she was a fourteen year old VIRGIN!
KiBoy: Yeah I know... she's great.
ate: Must be she, because like I said, she was a virgin when she taught me all that.
KiBoy: So... what now?
Kate: * Takes off the jumpsuit and whispers in KiBoy's ear... * Come at me...
KiBoy: Fine. * And there it goes again... * ( A/N ) Facespikes a few billion times. ( One tip: Don't try headbanging a razor sharp spike. Unless you want some additional air for your brain. ) ( A/N )
Meanwhile, back at the house...
David: Hey, where's KiBoy?
Alex: Ask me if I give a fuck!
Ki: So, you found that person?
Alex: Yeah.
David: Al, the rampage.
Alex: Don't worry David, I ain't mad, I just think it's FUCKED up that he didn't listen to me after he knew what she did.
Ki: What's up with the Eminem reference?
Alex: I'm one of the many chipmunks who do his raps.
David: He mostly goes Mockingbird, Drips, Stan, Hailie's Song, Without Me, Like Toy Soldiers, and I Think My Dads Gone Crazy. Oh, and Just Lose It.
Ki: Uh... I wonder what KiBoy is doing...
Alex: How much do you want to bet that he's FUCKING Kate's brains out, on her request of course?
Ki: Nothing, because I know it's probably true... that's a weird therapy though...
Simon: Getting rid of nymphomania through sex is like trying to stop abusing drugs by taking twice as much.
Alex: She does it that way because you'll start focusing on her and it prepares you for her to deliver a serious blow to you.
Ruby: I'm bored...
Alex: ...
Ruby: Like, REALLY bored.
Alex: And you want to...?
KiBoy: * Appears and punches Alex in the face. ( This will be 9003th time today! ) * HANDS OFF MY GIRL! * Disappears. *
Alex: Okay, two things, one: What the hell was that for because I didn' touch her and never will, and two: Wasn't it KiBoy who ran off with another woman, not to mention the Queen of Sluts? ( A/N ) I? Ran away? I'ma just takin' soem therapiez man! (A/N )
Let's end for now. You had enough for today/tonight/forever/eternity etc...
CONTEST TIME! ( Because I am bored and get weird ideas... )
How would you name Ki x Lucas pairing? ( Not that I support that... Bromance is not my thing. As I've said before, I'm/was bored. ( Depends on when you read it. )
The winner of the contest ( And since I think I will get between 2-5 reviews for this chapter, your chances are big! ) will have his OC be co-host of Alvin's Show for a whole episode! So, yeah, send your ideas in!
And by the way, here is my idea: Kickass. ( Badass, huh? AND WHY THE FUCK I MAKE SO MANY BRACKETS? I'm bracketophile! I need a therapy! ARGH! NOT AGAIN! )
