A lot of feels in this chapter, but at least Killian is letting her in, right? I hope you like, and thanks for all the reviews/follows; you guys are awesome! The first draft if finally done but I'll stick to the established schedule for a few more chapters because I'll be running around this weekend, but after that you can expect the usual chapter-per-day speediness.


A week passes and Emma doesn't see much of Killian during the day because he's busy at the radio station learning the ropes; meanwhile, her piano lessons are going fine but she's beginning to realize that it's going to take a long time until she's adept enough to play her song with him.

When he comes home he asks her how was her day and she tells him that she did some ballet and a lot of walking, which isn't strictly a lie, but she feels bad for not telling him about her classes with Victor. Still, she tells herself it's so she could surprise him, so it's okay, even though a part of her is frightened of his reaction when he eventually finds out that she had kept all his notes, and especially that composition.

Every evening they order in and watch movies together, and she's not quite sure how, but she ends up with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her no matter how much distance there was between them in the beginning of the evening.

It's Monday night when he tells her that tomorrow after work he's got an appointment in the hospital because his prosthetic hand is ready for him.

Emma pauses the movie and pulls away so she can look at him, but he's staring at his lap with a pensive expression and doesn't say anything else.

"It's a good thing that it's ready. Isn't it?" She presses him gently and he shrugs, rubbing his palm against his thigh.

"Once I get it, then it's final; I'm the guy with a fake hand for the rest of my life", Killian says and Emma covers his hand with hers, making him turn his head and finally look at her.

"That's not everything you are, Killian, that's just one part of you", Emma tells him, her eyes drawn to a lock of hair falling over his forehead, so she brushes it off before continuing. "It might be fake, but it's still a hand, and it's going to make your life easier."

"That's the worst thing, Emma. Easier, but not easy", he says miserably and Emma takes a deep breath before asking him the question that's been burning on her tongue since he mentioned his appointment.

"Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?"

"I'll be fine", he says, but Emma is having none of it because she recognizes the importance of it and knows it's not something he go through alone.

"I'm coming with you."

"Emma-"

"You're gonna go to the gynecologist with me on the 18th and I'm going with you tomorrow", she tells him and he finally cracks a smile.

"Oh am I?"

"Yep. I need you there", Emma says and his expression softens, his hand turning so he's holding hers now.

"I shall be there. And if you really want to come tomorrow, I'm not going to try and stop you", he tells her and she gives him an amused smile.

"As if you could stop me", she says and he lifts an eyebrow at her, then starts tickling her until she's laughing so hard she's completely breathless.

He cares like that, Emma thinks, looking at him and wishing he'd just kiss her, but knowing he won't because they aren't alone; Neal's baby is between them, preventing him to make a move, and she's too afraid of another rejection to try anything herself.


Emma sits in the waiting room at the doctor's office, looking at the pictures on the walls and checking the time a hundred times as she waits for Killian to come out with two hands instead of one. She's anxious and nervous and she tells herself to keep it together; she's here to offer him support, not to freak out so he ends up comforting her.

Killian finally joins her and raises the prosthetic hand as if he's waiting for her approval; it's metallic looking, but when she touches it tentatively, it's strangely pliant, each finger joint moving independently. Emma fixes them into an a-ok sign and Killian smiles, the look of relief on his face taking her by surprise.

"And look", he says and shows her the bag he's holding. Emma peeks in and discovers another hand; this one is skin-colored and you'd have to look really carefully to notice that it's not real, that's how lifelike it is.

"What's this one for?"

"Important occasions. At least that's what my doctor says", Killian tells her and opens the door for her.

"And what would be an important occasion?" Emma asks him curiously and he thinks about it for a while as they walk toward the subway.

"I don't know… First dates, weddings, christenings, things like that", he says and Emma nods to herself, but she can't even look at him because she's afraid that if she meets his eyes he's going to read her thoughts.

She wants to be the reason for him to wear the other hand; she wants to be his special occasion more than she wants anything else.


Shopping for groceries with Killian Jones is like shopping with a 5 year old. He wants everything that's bad for him and makes the most adorable faces every time Emma puts something healthy and natural in the shopping cart.

And then they end up in the chocolate section and he's the one who has to restrain her because her eyes go wide and she practically starts drooling.

"Emma, love, come on. I think five boxes of Ferrero Rocher is more than enough for now", he tells her and gently tugs her away, and finally the ballerina in her rebels and she starts picking up the boxes so she can take them back to the shelf. "What are you doing now?"

Killian looks bewildered, and when he turns around his scent washes over her and makes her bite her lip, warmth surging downward.

"I can't eat that much chocolate", Emma answers him and pushes the shopping cart away toward the vegetables section.

"You're pregnant and you're craving chocolate, so why the hell not?" He asks her and drops a box back into the cart when he catches up to her.

"I'll get fat", Emma tells him as if it's the most obvious thing in the world and understanding slowly dawns in his eyes.

"You can't do that to yourself", he tells her softly and Emma shrugs.

"I'm just trying to eat healthy", Emma says and leans down to take the box out of the cart.

"One box of chocolates won't stop you from going back on stage once the baby is born", Killian tells her and she hesitates, then leaves the box and tries to ignore his winning smile.

It's impossible because for the first time since the night that had changed everything, it reaches his eyes.


"Let's go to the movies", Killian says abruptly as they unpack their groceries, taking the extra sugar from her and placing it on a shelf it belongs to because she's too short to reach it.

"You mean watch a movie in a cinema?" Emma asks him, her heart slamming in her chest because they have never done that before; it's what couples do and they aren't a couple, and they especially weren't a couple while she was with Neal.

"What else could I have meant with: "let's go to the movies"?" He asks her with raised eyebrows, tilting his head to the side and studying her carefully. "Unless you don't want to be seen in public with me."

"Don't be stupid, I just spent three hours in public with you", Emma says and he grins, making her realize that he's just teasing her.

"Then it's settled."

"Can I pick a movie?" Emma asks, sidling up at him and giving him her cutest pout until he gives her a long-suffering sigh and tells her that she indeed can.

"On a scale for one to ten, how much am I going to regret it?" He asks her and Emma smiles.

"Ten."


Killian thinks she's going to pick some silly romantic comedy, and the look on his face is priceless when she points at the poster of the latest exorcism movie and says: "That one."

"You hate horror movies", Killian exclaims and Emma shakes her head.

"I don't hate them, I just can't watch them without holding somebody's hand", Emma says and slips her hand in his fake one.

Killian is speechless for a moment but he buys the tickets anyway, talks her into taking both the popcorn and Pepsi; she knows it's going to go directly to her thighs but she guesses she might as well enjoy her pregnancy and eat some of the things she hasn't since before she can remember.

They get to their seats and realize it's actually one love seat, and Killian looks so adorably distraught she can't help but laugh.

"Just imagine it's our couch", she tells him and drops on the left side of it.

"Scoot", he says and Emma frowns.

"Why?"

"If you really plan to hold my hand, I'd rather feel it", he says and Emma smiles to herself because it seems that he's onto her; the movie is just an excuse and he knows it. Maybe.

About three minutes after the movie begins Emma is already practically in Killian's lap, both of her arms wrapped around his arm, their fingers firmly entwined on his knee.

"Do you want us to go?" He asks her when she jumps and shrieks, then hides her face in his shoulder.

"It's not that scary", Emma says and covertly inhales his scent before tilting her head back to look at him. He tears his eyes from the screen and looks at her, shadows playing over his skin and exaggerating his already ridiculously long eyelashes.

"I can see that", he tells her with a raised eyebrow because she's trembling, but it's worth it because she had never been closer to him, and she doesn't care if it's just for tonight.

"Shut up and watch the movie", Emma tells him, and rests her head against his shoulder again.

Her eyes aren't on the screen but on their hands; his thumb is rubbing her skin and she likes how small her hand is compared to his. Neal crosses her mind for the first time in a week and it's only so she can compare him to Killian and how being with him like this feels; Killian comes out on top.

Emma rests her free hand on the inside of his elbow and traces her thumb over his bicep, and she would swear she can hear him smile in the dark.

Even the movie isn't scary anymore.


Emma almost falls from the couch because Killian is yelling her name, it's the middle of the night, and she'd been dreaming about demon possession. She races to his room and turns on the light before leaning over him and shaking his shoulder until his eyes snap open.

Killian says her name softly, sits against the headboard and tugs her in his lap, his arms wrapping around her tightly. His breathing is heavy and Emma murmurs nonsense in his ear, her hand rubbing up and down his back. She can feel the outline of every muscle through his T-shirt, but for once her hormones don't get the better of her.

"Tell me what your nightmares are about", Emma urges him gently, and he sighs heavily and finally, finally tells her, but he keeps her in his arms so she can't see his face.

"At first it was the same thing every night; I go into that alley, three guys jump me and beat the shit out of me. One of them takes a hatchet from a bag and the other two hold me down as he…" he trails off, and he doesn't have to say the rest.

"Is that how it happened?" She asks him, tears already running down her cheeks and dripping on his shoulder.

"The nightmare got worse", he tells her so softly she can barely hear him, and she presses a gentle kiss against his neck because he still won't let her pull away and look at him.

"Was I in it?" She asks, dread filling her gut because she can guess what's it about now.

"Everything is the same in it except the last part. They hold me down and the third guy takes out the hatchet and he-", his voice breaks and his shoulders shake with silent sobs, his fingers clutching the material of her shirt like a lifeline.

"He hurts me?" Emma finishes for him, a shiver running down her spine because he sounds so devastated, as if seeing her getting hurt in his dreams pains him more than losing his hand did.

"Instead of my hand, he cuts off your foot", he says and Emma closes her eyes, but she can't help wondering what made his dream change.

"It's just a bad dream. I'm okay. We're okay", she tells him and absentmindedly combs her fingers through his hair, wishing his hold on her would loosen so she can look him in the eye and tell him that nothing's going to happen to her.

"I wish I didn't have to go to sleep at all", he says miserably and this time when Emma tries to pull away, he lets her.

Emma watches him wipe his face on his shoulder, his right arm still around her, and then they both kind of freeze because his stump is resting on her bare knee; the only trouble is, they aren't frozen for the same reason.

Before Killian can pull it away Emma covers it with her hand and tells him that she doesn't mind; it's still a lie because not only she doesn't mind, she actually likes it, but she can't tell him that without scaring him away with her pregnancy hormones.

"How can you not mind?" He asks her softly, his eyelashes still wet from tears, such hope in his eyes that for a moment she's speechless and all she can think about is kissing him and taking all his pain away.

"Because it's you, Killian, just you", she tells him, her thumb tracing the scar from the operation. He averts his eyes and takes a shuddering breath.

"We should stop meeting like this", he says and wiggles his eyebrows at her; Emma laughs, bracing her hand against his shoulder and giving him a big, loud peck on the cheek. "What was that for?"

"For letting me in", Emma tells him and scrambles off his lap because if she stays there just a minute longer she's going to do something that will ruin their friendship completely.

"You don't want to stay here in case I have another nightmare?" He asks her, and even though he's just kidding and trying to lighten the mood, Emma is so tempted to go back to him and snuggle against his side.

"If you do, I'll come back", she says and turns off the light, his whispered "good night" in the dark sending goosebumps racing over her skin.

"Good night, Killian", she says and returns to the couch, her knee still on fire where he had touched her.


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