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Chapter 6: Tantrums and Taffeta
That night, after they returned to the hotel room, Bella felt like her head was in a fog. She decided to take a hot shower, hoping the steam would somehow help clear her tangled thoughts.
James was waiting for her when she came out, propped up on the pillows. He smiled at her suggestively as she made her way over to the bed. In the past, sex with James had always been decent, but this night she found herself struggling to focus or concentrate on him as he moved over her. She found her thoughts drawn back to Edward, and suddenly she thought about what it would feel like to be with him.
Immediately, she was horrified and felt ashamed of herself. Afterward, she rolled over and pretended to sleep, even though her mind was far from being able to rest. In all of the time she had been with James, she had never imagined herself with someone else while they were making love. Her cheeks burned with guilt, and hot tears rolled silently down her cheeks. She was glad her back was to James, and that she could already hear him snoring softly. She didn't know what she would have said had he asked her what was wrong.
Finally, she drifted into a disturbed sleep. She tossed and turned, and for some reason there were flashes of bronze and green in her dreams. She awoke the next morning feeling more tired than she had the night before. Her ankle screamed in protest as she stepped carefully down from the bed, trying not to disturb James. It seemed the night had done nothing to clear her head of the confusion that invaded her consciousness. She decided to take a walk, despite the pain in her ankle. She gathered her clothes and moved as silently as possible to the bathroom, not wanting James to wake up and ask her where she was going. She dressed in a black jogging suit and wrapped her ankle as tightly as possible before sliding on her tennis shoes. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail and put on a black hat and big sunglasses, tucking her cell phone into her back pocket as she quietly shut the door behind her.
Once she reached the main level of the hotel, she made her way quietly through the mostly deserted lobby. It was still early, which explained why there were only a few people milling around the entrance. On the street, she wasn't really sure which direction to head in, so she just took a right and started walking, making sure to keep track of which streets she passed so that she would be able to find her way back.
As she walked, the streets began to fill with more people. She passed a coffee shop and decided to pick up some coffee. Once she ordered, she noticed a small outdoor seating area, and decided to sit and enjoy the morning in solitude a little longer.
She sat, sunglasses in place, sipping her latte, watching as people passed on the street in front of her. It seemed that mostly they were business people on their way to work, and she was grateful that she worked at a job that allowed her so much freedom. As a free lance writer, she set her own hours and made her own deadlines, for the most part. It was what allowed her the luxury of taking so much time to come to Chicago for the wedding.
Thinking of the wedding reminded her of Edward and why she had chosen to take a walk in the early morning hours in the first place. She thought of the protective air he took with her last night. She thought of how he had looked when he had demanded that James let her sit in the chair. He had looked angry, and it had embarrassed her, but she knew as she sat there that she felt something more. No one had ever stood up for her that way. No one had ever looked at her the way he looked at her. It made her flushed and flustered. It made her want to run out of the room and run into his arms at the same time, and that disturbed her.
Her silent musings were interrupted by the buzz of her cell phone. Slightly startled, she fished it out of her back pocket.
"Hello?" she asked. She didn't recognize the number on the caller ID.
"Hi, Bella. It's Tanya."
"Oh, hi, Tanya, how are you?" Bella immediately felt herself blush at what she had just been thinking about right before Tanya's phone call. She forced herself to calm down, reminding herself that there was no way Tanya could have known her thoughts.
"Listen, I don't know what you have planned today, but I was hoping you'd be available for a dress fitting," Tanya said, her tone businesslike as she ignored Bella's greeting and inquiry after her well-being.
"Oh, um, sure, that should be fine. I don't think we have any plans." She was fairly sure that James had plans to visit some friend or another, but Bella was more than a little excited by the idea of having an excuse to get out of spending the day with James and his old buddies.
After getting the time and the location of the shop, Bella hung up with Tanya and glanced at her watch. She jumped up quickly as she realized she'd now have to hurry in order to make it to the appointment on time. She discarded her now cold coffee, and then paused before deciding to return to the counter. She purchased a coffee for James and another one for herself. As she walked back to the hotel room, she pondered on the fact that Tanya had obviously called James to get her cell phone number, which meant that he was awake. Yet, he had not called her himself to check on her or see where she was.
Before she had too much time to wonder about this, she was back at the hotel. She balanced the two coffee cups in one hand and slid her electric key in the lock with the other.
"Hello?" she called out, letting the door shut behind her.
"I'm in here."
Bella set the cups down on the coffee table in the sitting room and moved toward the sound of James' voice. She rounded the corner to the bathroom and found him sticking his head out of the shower curtain, steam swirling hazily around him.
"Hi," he grinned at her. "Want to join me?"
Bella had to work to keep the look of surprise off her face. They had just had sex the night before, and he wanted to do it again, in the shower? That was very out of character for James. Normally she probably would have consented, but suddenly she remembered the feelings that had broiled within her last night as James made love to her. Her empty stomach churned, and she wasn't sure she could keep her coffee down.
"Um. No, I need to hurry and get ready. Tanya wants me to go to a dress fitting today," she said, backing away from the shower.
James shrugged and pulled the curtain back again. "Okay, babe. Later then."
Bella nodded distractedly and backed out of the bathroom completely. "There's coffee in the living room," she called back to James before turning to get dressed, grateful that she had showered the night before.
She'd had been correct about James' plans to visit some old friends that day, so Bella took a taxi by herself to the dress shop. She was grateful that all she had to do was give the driver the shop's name and the cross streets, and he found it without any trouble. Bella paid him and hurried inside, afraid that she was late. She pulled the door open, and at the sound of the chime, four heads swiveled in her direction. Bella recognized Tanya, but the other three women sitting around her were strangers.
"Bella. So glad you made it," Tanya said, rising to greet her. "These are my friends Carmen, Irina, and Kate." She gestured to each of the women in turn. The three women gazed back at Bella, and she immediately felt uneasy. Though each of them smiled and nodded at her, she couldn't help but feel slightly unwelcome in their presence. It was clear that she was the outsider amongst the group of friends.
The dressmaker appeared then and shuffled the group into the dressing room in the back. Bella sat down on a low bench and waited while the dressmaker began to bring out dresses sheathed in plastic bags with long zippers down the front. The woman checked each bag and began calling out each girl's name. The girls began to take their bags and disappear into the small changing rooms that flanked the larger mirrored fitting room. Tanya took a seat near the mirror, looking very much like a queen surveying her court, as she waited for the girls to emerge so that she could critique their dresses.
When Bella's name was called, she rose obediently and took her bag. Once she shut the door to the small dressing room, she turned to unzip the bag. She pushed the plastic covering back and was puzzled. Tanya had mailed her a catalogue clipping of the dress she was to wear in the wedding, but the dress in the bag looked nothing like the picture. Thinking that maybe it would look different off the hanger, she quickly undressed and slipped the dress over her head. She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, still puzzled, before unlatching the door and stepping back into the dressing area.
She became even more confused when she saw the other three girls standing near Tanya, all wearing the dresses she had seen in the pictures Tanya had sent.
"Um. I think I have the wrong bag," Bella said quietly. Tanya turned and looked at her, her eyes running up and down Bella's dress. The smile that spread slowly across Tanya's face made Bella's heart stop for a moment.
"Oh no, hon, I forgot to tell you. We changed your dress," she shrugged and smiled an insincere, sugary smile before turning her attention back to the other three girls.
Bella took a deep breath and tried to quell the irritation that was building inside her. "Oh, well, that's fine. I mean, it's your wedding, but won't it look a little odd to have one girl wearing a different dress?" Bella asked, smiling as sweetly as she could at Tanya. She wanted to mention the fact that the new dress she had been assigned was horrid, both in cut and color. The fabric was itchy and there seemed to be pleats and ruffles everywhere. She felt like she was drowning in it.
"Oh, no. Don't be silly, Bella. You won't be the only one wearing that dress. Edward's mother and aunt will be wearing that style as well. That way we'll have three in one style and three in another." Tanya smiled sweetly again, but her eyes flashed dangerously, and Bella had to fight the urge to take a step away from her. Stunned, Bella watched as Tanya turned her attention back to her friends whose dresses were all sleek and stylish and moved elegantly when they walked. Bella knew instantly that Tanya's story was false. She couldn't help but wonder what she had done in such a short time to incur Tanya's wrath. She wondered guiltily if it had anything to do with Edward and the attention he had shown her during dinner the night before. She clenched her teeth, but reminded herself that this was Tanya's big day, and she was just a minor participant. She could handle a few hours in an ugly dress.
The dressmaker made her way over to Bella and gave her a sympathetic smile as she began measuring and adjusting in an attempt to make the awful dress fit better. When she was done, Bella had to admit the dress did look better, but it was still not flattering. On an older woman, the style would have been perfect, but on Bella's tiny frame, it ended up looking frumpy and bunchy.
The woman indicated to Tanya that she was done, and Tanya came over to have a look.
"Oh, you look beautiful, Bella," Tanya crooned insincerely. Bella resisted the urge to grab one of the many pins sticking precariously out of her dress and stab Tanya in the eye with it. Instead, she smiled back sweetly and nodded in agreement.
While Bella changed back into her clothes, the dressmaker finished up with the rest of the girls, and soon it was Tanya's turn. Bella took a seat with the other girls and awaited Tanya's entrance. Finally, Tanya came around the corner, one of the dressmaker's assistants holding the long train out behind her as she walked. Despite her previous irritation with Tanya, Bella couldn't help the genuine smile that spread across her face. Tanya looked radiant. She blushed and giggled as she stepped up on the raised platform and looked at herself in the mirrors. The transformation that she underwent in the dress was amazing. She went from being calculating and vindictive to being demure and blushing.
As she looked at her, Bella suddenly burned with shame and embarrassment for her thoughts about Tanya's fiancé. This woman was about to be married. Whatever the strange connection Bella felt with Edward, she knew it was wrong. She wasn't the kind of girl who had feelings for or thoughts about men who belonged to someone else; especially not men who were about to be married. She was playing with fire, and even though she had yet to act on her feelings for Edward, she knew nothing good could come of the strange attraction they shared. As Bella sat there, gazing at Tanya as she twirled around in the gorgeous wedding gown, she swore to herself that whatever there was between her and Edward, it ended immediately.
