Chapter 7: Tables Turned
Lissa's POV
As I stared at Rose's unconscious body, I noticed more and more how human she seemed compared to other Strigoi. It wasn't even because I was having a hard time seeing my best friend as a Strigoi. It was because she still had human traits I'd never felt in a Strigoi. She'd felt pain at my words. She'd begged Oksana to stop instead of growling about how she'd kill her later. She'd still harbored a grudge against Avery for trying to kill me. She still seemed to love Dimitri. And she'd tried to keep us and the children alive. What normal Strigoi would do that?
"I mean it, use those lights now!" Alberta barked into the phone.
She'd mentioned that after the last attack on the school, we'd gotten lights that were as bright as the sun and had the same lethal effects on Strigoi.
"Keep me updated on whether or not they work." Alberta said as she hung up the phone.
"I can't believe Rose is actually a Strigoi... it's the one thing I found more impossible than her death—and that's saying something." Christian commented.
"I... I don't think Rose has made a full transition yet." I said.
"What are you talking about, Lissa?" Kirova questioned.
"Think about it; Rose wanted us and the children alive, she still seems to harbor love for Dimitri—which is something a normal Strigoi can't feel—she held a grudge about Avery because of my safety, and she felt emotional pain. I saw it. The first time she showed pain was when I asked if she was choosing Dimitri over us. The next time was when she begged Oksana to stop instead of threatening her." I explained. "And... I feel tinges of warmth coming through the bond. Most of it is dark and cold, but there are spots of light and warmth."
"Princess, I think you're just holding onto false hope." Sydney sighed. "Strigoi aren't warm and fuzzy in even the smallest of ways."
"No, I feel it too. I see the shadows that come from being bonded and Spirit darkness along with the unnatural darkness of a Strigoi, but I see light too. The brightest light you can see in an aura—hope." Oksana said.
"Is that what that light is? I've never seen it shine that bright before." Adrian peered at Rose.
"What about Dimitri?" Alberta asked. "What does his look like?"
"Unfortunately, his looks the same as any other Strigoi's. But I think I know why." Oksana said.
"Why?" I asked.
"She thinks Rose is different because she's Shadow Kissed. That maybe it will either take longer to fully turn, or that Rose will always have some sense of humanity." Mark said.
"Is there any way we can help her? I don't want to kill her, and obviously no one else wants to either if she's only been staked and tied to a chair with chains. None of you even want to kill Dimitri." I pointed out.
"Well, there is one story..." Mark started.
"Don't give them false hope." Oksana said.
"But we haven't proven it true or false yet." Mark pointed out.
"What?" Abe questioned.
"There's a story that another Spirit user once told us. He bragged about having saved a Strigoi." Mark explained. "Although he might not be credible, considering the fact that he's a little crazy..."
"All Spirit users are a little crazy." I said. "What was his name?"
"I think it was... Robert Doru." Oksana said.
"That name... I've heard it before..." I tried to place my finger on it.
"Here, let me help." Oksana offered.
I suddenly felt a tingle of warmth. A minute later, I remembered where I'd heard the name. I'd been in Victor Dashkov's study at the time. I was a nosy little girl and looked through his calendar.
"Uncle Victor, who's Robert Doru?" I asked.
"Yeah, spill the beans." Rose had been a troublemaker even then.
"Can you two keep a secret?" Victor smiled.
He knew very well that Rose couldn't keep a secret, but he probably figured no one would believe us.
"What?" Rose and I asked excitedly.
"Robert Doru is my secret younger brother." Victor chuckled.
"Why's he a secret?" Rose asked.
"Yeah, why don't we know about him?" I questioned.
"Because we share the same father, but have a different mother. It would be embarrassing for someone to figure that out." Victor cooed.
"Psh, as if that's embarrassing." Rose scoffed.
"You're so weird, Uncle Victor." I laughed as Rose pulled me off to play.
"Oh, God." I gasped.
"What? Who is it?" Christian asked.
"Robert Doru is Victor Dashkov's illegitimate brother." I said.
"So you knew that and didn't remember until now?" Adrian questioned.
"I was only a little girl at the time. And I didn't believe Victor. I was more focused on playing with Rose." I excused myself.
"Ugh..." Rose started to stir.
Rose's POV
I woke up feeling like crap. The stake was still in my chest and it hurt—badly. There were also chains wrapped around me—no doubt made of silver and coated with another metal so you could trap a Strigoi without killing it. I opened my eyes to see Lissa staring down at me with a look of worry. Even now, she looked like an angel sent to help me.
"Rose..." Lissa snapped me out of my reverie. "We want to help you..."
"Funny, you sound a lot like Victor right now—binding someone in chains and then claiming to be helping the cause." I babbled. "At least he was smart enough to figure out my attraction to Dimitri without having to have me admit it..."
"Victor knew?" Christian asked.
"From day one." I confirmed. "That's how he knew to give us a lust charm when he kidnapped Lissa. And it's what he tried to blackmail us with before his trial."
"I still don't understand how Dimitri let himself get that close..." Mom mumbled.
"Because unfortunately for most men, falling in love with me for even a short period of time is inevitable. Just ask Adrian, Dimitri, or..." I looked up and saw Mason standing next to Lissa. "Mason."
"We can't ask Mason." Lissa pointed out.
"You could. He's standing right next to you." I smiled bitterly at Mason.
He frowned harder than usual and looked like he was going to cry.
"I'm still not sure if these ghosts are real..." Kirova started.
"Oh, they're real. I can see him too." Mark said. "He's got red hair, right?"
"That's Mason." I confirmed.
Mason moved forward and tried to touch my face. I... could feel it. He was touching me.
"I'm so sorry..." I choked up.
"You've become the one thing I wanted to save you from." Mason's voice echoed in my mind.
I started crying. And it was real tears this time, not an act. Everyone in the room looked completely confused.
"Rose, we'll fix you." Mark promised. "I know that what he says hurts, but he's not saying it to hurt you. He's just sad."
"What are you talking about?" Lissa questioned.
"If a Shadow Kissed person—like Mark and Rose—is around ghosts long enough, they can hear what the ghosts are saying." Oksana explained.
"He said that she's become the one thing he wanted to save her from." Mark translated.
I looked at Dimitri, wondering why he hadn't joined the conversation. He was still unconscious because they'd put more wooden stakes in him than just the original one. They knew he was more forgone than I was. He was dark and cold, while there was still something human left in me. I didn't want to be human and feel all this pain.
"Kill me." I said. "Kill me."
"What?" Lissa asked.
"I don't want to feel again. I don't want human emotion anymore. Just kill me instead of putting me through this torture." I begged.
"Rose..." Lissa started.
"Please. Kill me for the sake of our friendship. I've spent my entire life trying to make your life better. I did countless things that you don't even know about for you. Just do this one thing for me and I'll consider us even." I said.
"You sound as bad as I did when I cut myself!" Lissa chastised.
"I feel worse than you did!" I exclaimed.
She looked upset at that. We both knew that I felt what she felt in excruciating detail, so the fact that I could honestly say I felt worse than she did was pretty horrifying.
"Rose, the fact that you feel anything at all right now is a miracle." Lissa regained her composure.
"No, it's Hell! The emotions pouring into me right now are all the horrible ones. If I had to feel, I'd want the good ones. But I don't even want those if it means getting the bad ones too. I hate feeling emotion. It's horrible!" I ranted.
"Rose, the good and the bad feelings go together. You can't feel one without the other. Everyone has to feel—even you." Lissa said.
"I've never wanted to feel! I wish I was born an emotionless psychopath! I don't want to feel heartache, loneliness, depression, and sadness! I don't want to feel rage and jealousy! I've always been good with physical pain—I knew how to make it go away. But I can't handle the emotional pain, and we both know it. I don't know how to make it go away..." I sobbed.
Everyone else was thinking of my breakdowns over Mason and the ghosts. But Lissa and I were thinking of something before that. We were thinking of the times when I missed my mom and wished she would come back for me, take me away from the Academy.
"Rose, we aren't five anymore. You can't try to force the pain to go away. You can still cry and come to me, but you can't suppress it anymore." Lissa said in a gentle tone.
"But I don't just feel my feelings. I feel yours too..." I heaved in a breath.
"And that's why you're the best friend I'll ever have. You literally bear the weight of my world and yours, complain minimally, and have survived this long. We're blood sisters, and we'll always be there for each other." Lissa had managed to make me focus on her instead of my emotional pain.
She was compelling me, but I didn't want to fight it. I wanted to believe every word she said. "Keep compelling me. It's working."
"What do you mean by blood sisters?" Abe questioned.
"You mean besides the fact that I was her feeder when we ran away?" I quipped.
"When I cut my finger once, Rose put it in her mouth so I wouldn't have to ruin my shirt to stop the bleeding—and because sucking my own blood would be weird." Lissa explained.
"Because your finger being in Rose's mouth is less weird." Adrian scoffed.
"Anyway, Rose realized how weird it was and told me to do the same thing to her finger so it would be less weird. She cut her finger on purpose." Lissa wrapped it up.
"That was supposed to stay a secret." I pointed out.
"It's not like it's going to kill us." Lissa shrugged.
"Rose!" Eddie barged into the room. His face fell when he saw me. "Oh, no..."
"Don't worry. I'm apparently still human." I sighed.
Eddie was speechless for a moment. "Alberta, the lights worked. And just in time, too. The Strigoi were about to break in right when they turned on. Most of them died, but... a couple of them got away."
"Which ones?" I asked.
"Some angry blonde guy and an angry old Russian lady." Eddie said reluctantly.
"Shit, that's Nathan and Galina." I muttered.
"You're on a first name basis with them?" Sydney looked horrified.
"Their first names are the only names they gave me. What should I have done, called them Strigoi 1 and Strigoi 2?" I scoffed.
"Which one's which?" Adrian teased.
"I even know their servants' names. I had to spend a few weeks in Hotel Hell and there wasn't much else to keep me occupied." I said.
"Rose, out of curiosity..." Lissa's thoughts and feelings poured through the bond.
"Only one. I only killed one person." I admitted. "And she deserved it."
"Since when does anyone deserve death?" Alberta questioned.
"When they try to help their Strigoi boyfriend beat and kill you. Inna was a bitch, even if she was human. And they should have known better than to let a human near me when I'm hungry." I started to feel my emotions leave me again.
Avery burst into the room, looking like she'd been mauled by a bear. "She's mine to kill!"
