The colonel's heartache

"How could this happen…"

Kain and Breda sat in the chair near the bed, and glanced at their friend who was lying in it. Falman was not able to say a single word since he had entered the ward; Riza was able to find out why after the usual calm man broke down and told the group that he had met up with Havoc two days before in a café down the street of 5th avenue. And he noticed a sudden change in his friend, but did not probe Havoc about it. The most obvious change was that Havoc was no longer drinking alcohol or smoking, which was strange seeing that Havoc was almost obsessive with the two.

Colonel Roy Mustang had not spoken either, his eyes were all focused and dark when he entered Havoc's ward. Riza stood next to him, not speaking; in her mind, another buried memory was surfacing.

"Please, lieutenant, do not tell the colonel about this. I can settle it myself."

Riza peered at Havoc's gaunt and pale face for a second before scolding herself mentally inside, she should have just told the colonel…that Havoc taking liver medication and his liver and one of his kidneys were beginning to dysfunction.

"Did you know about his condition?" Riza peered up and realized that the colonel was looking darkly at her.

She would have to tell him the truth and she must face the consequence of concealing the secret from her superior whom was also fiercely protective of his subordinates especially Havoc.

"Why are you raising your voice in my ward?" The colonel spun around almost immediately, and so did everyone who was in the room.

The first lieutenant gave them a dry smile, raised an arm and said almost amusingly, "Sad…I'm still alive."

It happened so quickly, that if anyone had come into the room would swear that the colonel was going to kill the patient in his bed. The colonel had lunched himself forward and grabbed the front of the Havoc patient garb with an equally impulsive voice he shouted angrily.

"WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO TELL US ABOUT THIS?" Roy Mustang spat vehemently.

"Colonel!" Riza exclaimed as she held his other arm back in case he tried to punch Havoc. Breda and Falman on the other hand stood in between the colonel and Havoc. Havoc did not look upset instead he had the same face as that day where he lost mobility in both legs.

"Calm down, colonel uptight…" Havoc said almost lazily when Breda managed to pry the colonel's fingers away from the clothes. Riza peered at her superior's face, which was contorted in disbelieve but even as angry or mad he was, the colonel became quiet as though succumbed to reality.

"How bad is it?"

Havoc did not bother to look at anyone, instead he let his eyes focus on the ceiling instead. "Why do you need to know?"

Kain gasped, he had never heard Havoc talk to anyone with such a tone especially to his superior.

"Going to use another stone to save my life again?" Roy clenched his jaw tighter when he heard his subordinates' words, indeed he had used the philosopher's stone to save Havoc from a life time stuck in a wheel chair; but that was the last time he swore to use that thing. It was made from human lives, so many innocent lives; that stone was nothing but a burden to those who used it.

"Nothing up your sleeves? What a bummer." Havoc added in icily when he noticed how pale the colonel had looked, he peered at the colonel with a grimace. "I guess this time you have retire me for good…Right, colonel?"

As the night wore on, Breda, Falman and Kain were ordered to return home to rest leaving the colonel and the lieutenant alone with Havoc.

"Havoc…" The colonel was sitting next to his bed with a hand over his forehead, "Why is it impossible to keep you in my team?" Havoc sniggered, "Maybe because your team is always in trouble with monsters, higher ups who wants you dead and you keep stealing my girlfriends too anyway."

"Stop joking around…" Roy injected firmly, so firm that even Havoc fell silent. "It was my best honor to have served in your team, and it will always be but this time you will have to continue your journey without me." Roy stared at his subordinate and once again he felt himself tremble uncontrollably. Just like that day, the helplessness he was feeling was exactly the same.

But before anyone else could say a word, the colonel had stride away; kicking the door open and leaving through them wordlessly.

"Havoc…."

"Thank you for keeping the secret for me, I appreciate it." He looked at her gratefully but refused to talk further and turned to his side.

"I have a favor to ask of you…"