Chapter 6

There are two misconceptions in this world that I find very prevalent (a word that here means "occurring often").

One misconception is that the unfinished final writings of Geoffrey Chaucer are hidden under the Ladder of Social Snobbery, when in fact they are hidden under the Statue of Expanding Realty.

The other is that smart people do not make idiotic decision. Klaus Baudelaire was incredibly smart, with an IQ high above the normal level for his age. But he did occasionally make obvious errors like any other person. For example, when he was a toddler, he had made the mistake of underestimating the Baudelaire Mansion staircase. Instead of walking down the stairs, Klaus decided to try to jump from the top stair to the bottom one. Klaus remembered his parents rushing him to the hospital. He had only a sprained wrist, but Klaus preferred elevators from the point forward. Klaus was, of course, not thinking of this incident at the moment, although he was about to do something very idiotic.

Klaus saw the KSS Funcoot in the distance, and heard Count Olaf's shrill, terrible laugh. Klaus knew he needed a boat, and begging for Olaf's help was his only option, although, as I know from experience, it is highly unlikely that a villain who has just tried to burn you alive will provide any assistance.

"Olaf!" Klaus cried "Help! Olaf! Come back! I can help you!!!"

"That's a strange sounding sea animal" Olaf yelled, "Sounds a lot like that dimwitted orphan who just burned to the ground. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! NOOOOOO!!!"

At that moment the world turned upside down. Kind of.

As Klaus waded into the water after Olaf, a deep rumble shook him entire body. He looked up to see a huge wave, a monstrous wall of hungry water. The wave swallowed the KSS Funcoot and its passenger in seconds. Klaus then knew how idiotic it was of him to wade into the water to ask for the help of a villain/theatre actor. He tried to run away, but he was frozen in fear. He simply stood their, until finally, the wave washed over him. I am sure you do not wish to hear of the violent sensation Klaus felt, as if two ropes were tugging him in opposite directions. I have no doubt that you do not wish for me to describe the stinging sensation Klaus felt, or the deafening roar of the wind. But I am sure you would love for me to recount that, at this point, Klaus passed out, and was spared any more pain and agony.