I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE STORY LINE, EMBERLIN, AND ANABELL!

Happy Reading! :)

-Flashback—

I rolled over in bed and opened my eyes just a little bit to see that Logan was still asleep I pushed up so I could see the clock over him it read 6:42am. I knew that Logan would not wake up for at least 3 of 4 more hours so I laid my head on his chest and my arm across his stomach so that every part of me that could be touching him was. He grabbed my hand linking our fingers together and mumbled "Too early." I just smiled and closed my eyes again. Within seconds I was asleep again.

The next time I opened my eyes was to Logan hovering over me gently kissing my lips. The kiss deepened and within seconds our pajamas were scattered across the floor again. "Now that's they way to get woken up" I giggled after catching my breath. He laughed and grabbed my hips pulling me over to him, "I just want to stay like this all day. You and me in bed, no worries no real life intruding."

"Me too Logan, we don't have to leave for the airport until 5 tonight so we can do whatever we want for the rest of the time. Its completely up to you."

"Then I'm choosing to get out of bed and spend the whole day with you doing whatever we want. But that can wait at least an hour right?"

"Ha-ha yeah, it can definitely wait."

-End of Flashback—

The drive home is a lot shorter compared to the drive to the concert earlier today, Anabell sleeps the entire trip which is good if she had of woken up I would have had a serious problem getting her back to sleep. Logan and I made small talk on the way home, at first it felt forced but then I asked about all of the cool things he has gotten to do since he moved to California and he told me what seemed like every detail from the past 5 years. Drove past the exit for our hometown. He looked over at me sadly; it looked like he wanted to say something to me but thought better of it right then. I drove past two more exits and veered off the interstate onto a dark road, we drove through town, which looked like a ghost town at this time of night. I continued on as he looked out the window. I glanced over at him and couldn't help but smile, I could tell he was thinking about the past and all the time we would come out to my grandparents property to hang out especially in the summer. I reach to turn the air conditioner down and as I start to set me and on the center console Logan looks at me and holds my hand, I look down at our intertwined fingers and then back at him and smile. I turn off of the main road onto the property line road that leads to the house, Logan doesn't let go of my hand until I pull the car up in front of the house 5 minuets later. He say's, "Do you want me to get her?" nodding to the backseat. I just nod and get out to grab Belly's small and Logan's bigger backpacks from the back seat, I walk up the porch stairs to the door and unlock it leaving it open for Logan, as he walks in I whisper, "Follow me." We go up the stairs and I turn left at the top, opening the first door on the right I flip the night light switch on and a bunch of rotating shapes appear on the ceiling and walls.

Logan lies Belly down in her bed, "I'll be right back," I whisper to him walking out of the room as I do. I go downstairs and get Belle some juice in her sippy cup, grab her teddy off the back of the couch and head back up. When I get there Logan is just kneeling next to her little bed and pushing her hair back off her face just like he used to me when we would lie in bed, my heart catches in my throat and I have to stop just for a second. I can't believe how he is with her; I realize that no matter what happens with Logan and I, he will love Belle unconditionally. I walk in touch his shoulder and set the teddy down next to Anabell's arm and put her sippy next to her in bed. I help him stand up and lead him out of the room with one look back I close the door behind him.

We head downstairs and I go into the kitchen, I pull out the fixings for a grilled cheese, he just watches me as I move around my home. "Teddy looks good." He comments, I blush knowing exactly what he is talking about. "Yeah I know he really does. Anabell loves him, she is practically inseparable from him when we are here at home" I tell him. "Ha-ha I remember when I got you that little bear, our third date. Instead of showing up with flowers like I did the first two times I brought the bear. The smile on your face was even bigger than with the flowers. Honestly I brought him because the flower shop was closed the day. It was just meant to be."

I laugh at him because that is definitely something he would do, I remember every date we went on he would bring something, sometimes it was flowers, other time a picture of us, or something small that made him think of me, but never another teddy bear. Teddy was just too special to have any competition.

I put our grilled cheeses on plates and grab the bag of chips from the pantry, and walk into the living room and sit on the couch. He sits on the opposite side from me and we eat in companionable silence. As soon as I put my plate down I say "I'm going to be completely honest with you right now because I don't know how not to be. Okay?" he nods and I continue. "I already told you why I didn't tell you about Belle when I first found out about her. At first I was scared that you would give up everything you had worked so hard for, so I stopped talking to you it was easier for me to just cut you out at that moment then pretend everything here was okay. I had a really bad scare when I was about 7 months pregnant, Anabell had flipped and gotten the umbilical cord wrapped around her, they weren't sure what was going to happen to her and if they did surgery she and I could have not made it because of my anemia. I was so terrified. I had never in my entire life experienced that kind of fear. The only thing that I could think about was you and how I had to get better so that I could tell you about Anabell, then I got even more terrified because I thought what if I tell him and he hates me for cutting him out of my life, for not telling him about the baby, for ruining his life his dream with this baby; this baby that I loved so much already that I would have gladly done whatever it took to be sure that she survived. I did not know what to do I was 17 beyond terrified and the love of my life was on the other side of the country with no idea. When I was allowed to leave the hospital I knew that I really didn't have any option but to continue to live with my grandparents, I was on mandatory bed rest for more that half the day at least and needed constant supervision and help my grandma was there to do that. My parents were around but they knew that this was my decision and they respected that I didn't want you family knowing before you did." I get all teary saying this and pause to take a deep breath. I look up at Logan and he is just patiently sitting next to me waiting for me to continue, I grabs my hand "I wish you had of called me. I get why you didn't but still I just wish you would have."

"I wish I would have too honestly. Things only got harder from there, Anabell wound up being 4 weeks premature even with all the bed rest. She had to stay in an incubator at the hospital; she was so tiny she was the length of my forearm fully stretched out. I didn't think I could do anything right if I couldn't even carry her to full term. But after some time she put on some weight and eventually I was able to bring her home. She is still smaller than most children her age; she's underweight compared to pretty much every other 4 year old. The doctors say she is just fine the way she is and that she continues to grow at the normal rate she is just smaller."

I stop and take another deep breath "I'm not sure how to continue this Logan."

"Hey its okay just take it slow, I'm right here. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

I nod and look right at him, I continue without looking away from him. He keeps me grounded "A year after Anabell was born my parents were in a car accident," Logan's grip tightens, "they were in a head on collision with a drunk driver. They didn't make it; the doctors say they were killed on impact. Oh god Logan, they are gone." I was crying and I felt like I couldn't breath again so I just sat there keeping Logan my sole focus.

"Emberlin, look at me," he wiped my cheeks and out both of his hands on my face looking right into my eyes, "I know this is hard and I may be making it worse but where are your grandparents? You cant tell me you have been taking care of yourself, Anabell and this huge house and property by yourself." All I could do is nod so I do. "Papa got sick not long after my momma and daddy," I struggled with the words," when he passed grandma was so sad she became a shell of herself, she loved him so much I think she died of a broken heart; they were together since she was 14 so I don't see any other option but that."

"When? How long have you been alone?" he demanded.

"Logan, please don't get mad. I managed I'm okay. The house and property were paid for, both my parents and grandparents had their affairs in order just in case. I'm not struggling to survive. I'm alone yes, but I have Anabell to think of."

"Just tell me Em, I need to know for my own sanity please."

"One year." He gets up and walks to the fireplace. I just stay where I am and watch him.