"…your Father…?"
Arcee looked at Jack with a confused expression on her face. Out of all the many different reactions she had expected from him, this was not one of them.
Jack shrugged and sat on the ground facing Arcee, and continued, "Not much to tell. I was still just a kid when he abandoned Mom and me. I guess he had decided that it was too much of a responsibility being a husband and a father, and one day he left…just like that." Jack took a deep breath and went on, "To this day, I still don't…still don't know…why…"
Jack stopped for a moment, the catch in his voice betraying him. Arcee suddenly realized that Jack was no stranger to abandonment. She cursed herself all the more for Jack forcing himself to relive this particular pain…all for her. Hadn't she hurt him enough already?
"Jack, don't…" she began.
"No, it's okay." Jack sniffed and composed himself. "Sorry about that, it won't happen again. Where was I…? Oh, yeah…"
Arcee was amazed by Jack's inner strength and how quickly he was able to quell his pain. Once again she was reminded why she was so drawn to him. She knew that as fierce and steel-willed as she appeared on the surface, she knew in her spark that it was all a front, a lie. She was no warrior, she was weak. Jack was her exact opposite. Compared to Cybertronians, humans were physically inferior, but their hearts were indomitable. Jack...he was amazing.
Jack continued. Arcee listened with rapt attention.
"When he left, he pretty much disappeared and left us on our own. This was before Mom became a nurse, so she took whatever jobs that she could. She did her best to support us, but eventually we lost everything…our car, our home…everything. We ended up living on the streets for awhile. We would stay in shelters…basically with anyone who would take us in."
Jack's face darkened, "Mom blamed herself. She had done nothing. It wasn't her fault, but the guilt she felt...she suffered so much. I heard her crying most nights, after she thought I had fallen asleep. I hated him for doing that to her. Yeah, what he did hurt me too, but for someone like that to make someone like her take the blame and pin it all on herself…"
Arcee felt an eerie sense of déjà vu listening to Jack's story. If he were anyone else, she would be suspicious of some cruel deception, but she knew Jack was incapable of lying to her. The uneasy feeling only intensified as he continued.
"I was so angry that I began to get in trouble…a lot. I started getting into fights with other kids…didn't matter how many of them there were, I'd take them all on."
Arcee had expected Jack to take pride in that, but she realized he felt the opposite. He was ashamed.
"My Mom…she's my hero, you know? With everything that had happened to her, and all that she was going through…she still managed to find the time to look out for me. She saw the road that I was going down, and she saved me."
Intensely curious, Arcee asked, "…from what?"
"…from myself."
Jack remembered the past. It felt like a lifetime ago. He couldn't have been much more than seven or eight years old at the time.
"Jack…? What happened, sweetie?"
Jack shrugged. He was covered in several bruises and he had a bloody nose. His clothes were dirty and disheveled. It wasn't the first time June had seen him like this.
"I got into another fight. The other kids were making fun of me…because of him."
June held Jack close and smiled gently.
"Jack, I know that it hurts when other people do or say bad things…but it doesn't really matter what anyone says to us. What matters is what we do or say in return. No one can make us behave a certain way…only we can do that."
Frustrated, Jack cried, "…but it's so hard! I-I'm so angry at him for what he did to you!"
June understood how he felt and replied, "I know…I get mad sometimes, too."
Jack was surprised, "Really…? You don't act like you do…"
June smiled, "Do you want to know my secret, Jack?"
Jack nodded vigorously, "Uh-huh!"
"I forgave your Daddy for leaving us."
Jack was confused, "You…forgave him? Why? He doesn't deserve to be forgiven!"
"Jack…when you forgive someone, it's not for them. It's for you. You see, I was very angry with your Daddy…I was so mad I couldn't think clearly."
June paused for a moment and asked Jack a strange question, "Jack, do you believe in angels…?"
Perplexed at the sudden conversation change, Jack answered, "I dunno, maybe…"
June grinned, "I do. Soon after your Daddy left us, an angel visited me one night and asked me not to cry anymore. He also said that I shouldn't be blaming myself and that he wouldn't ever leave me."
Jack blushed, realizing that his Mom was talking about him. He clearly remembered the night he had heard her crying. All he knew was that he wanted to help, so he came into her room and hugged her, telling her that he loved her and that he wasn't going anywhere.
June continued, "I decided that you were too important for me to waste my life hating somebody, no matter what they did, so…I forgave him and let go of it."
Jack asked, "…let go of what, Mommy?"
"I let go of all the anger…all the sadness…all of it. And you know what? I found peace and I was free. I was free to love my little angel with all my heart. I love you, Jack."
"I love you too, Mommy."
Jack smiled at the memory. He looked hopefully at Arcee before continuing.
"I don't think I completely understood what Mom was trying to tell me until tonight. When you hold onto your pain, even if you bury it deep inside like I did, all it's going to do is eat away at you until there's nothing left but an empty shell."
Jack pleaded, "Arcee, you've lost so much already…I know you blame yourself for what happened to Tailgate and Cliffjumper, and even for Optimus…but I swear to you, it wasn't your fault!"
Jack prayed that something, anything that he said might have gotten through to Arcee. Her expression was unreadable. He tried one last time.
"You've got to let it go, Arcee."
For an endless instant, time held its breath.
"…I'm so scared, Jack. I don't know how…"
Arcee was trembling, her tears falling like rain.
Unashamed, Jack began to cry as well, "By forgiving yourself, Arcee." Jack begged, "Please, Arcee…for both our sakes…please…"
Arcee sank to her knees and closed her eyes.
A silent war raged inside. Arcee knew that her decision would forever determine both their futures.
She chose her path.
Arcee opened her eyes and forced herself to look at Jack.
Jack met her gaze and dared to hope.
She slowly crawled over to Jack and gently picked him up. They embraced and desperately held one another close like their lives depended on it. Neither of them wanted to let the other go...ever. Both wept uncontrollably for what seemed an eternity.
Arcee managed to whisper to Jack, "For you…for us…I'll try."
Jack breathed a prayer, "Thank you, God."
"Thank you for not giving up on me, Jack."
"I'll never give up on you, Arcee."
