Thank you sooooooo much for the sweet reviews! I had a feeling you would like that. Now, let's see how they are going to handle it?
Chapter 7
She wasn't at breakfast even though John took his time at the buffet and eating his croissant and cereal, and she wasn't waiting for him back by his cabin door. Surely by now Clara had started to miss her wristband and she couldn't rely on her friend Amy to escort her around all day in case she needed to use it. John even checked the book shop but there was no Clara. He needed to talk to her about what had happened if she hadn't seen the certificate while leaving his cabin already, he needed to give her back her wristband and he tried very hard to suppress that one voice inside his head that told John he really, really wanted to see her again.
While he wandered aimlessly around the ship John wondered how on earth it had come to this. They had started out hating each other but the longer he had been in her presence, actually talking and being nice, the more Clara had started to grow on him. If he was completely honest it had started even earlier while he had spotted that stubborn woman walking around Lisbon with only one shoe instead of asking for help but all of that didn't change the fact that he needed to put a stop to these thoughts. Clara probably still didn't like him. Why else would she have fled his cabin some time during the night without saying a word?
Last night was mostly a blur, at least after he and Clara had had the insane idea to try some of those sugary drinks that still made him feel as though a piano had been dropped on his head, but there were flashes of memories, little things. Like him and Clara joking more and more about how ridiculous it would be if they were actually married. And then standing in front of the captain, begging to be married. This cruise was really turning into a nightmare.
John was just walking past one of the cafés when he glanced inside and spotted her bent over a large cup of coffee and his heart almost skipped a beat. After taking a couple of deep breaths he finally gathered up the courage to call her name.
Clara raised her head and immediately he could see the panic on her face. So either she had indeed found the certificate or she was assuming something else entirely had happened last night. Oh God, what if she thought they had. . . he would never.
"Clara, we need to talk," he said as he approached her and without a warning Clara jumped up from her seat and darted straight into the nearest bathroom.
John made an attempt to follow her but instantly bumped into another young woman.
"Excuse me, this is the ladies' toilet!" she complained loudly and pushed him out of the door. Throwing a glance over his own shoulder he realized that the entire café was staring at him now. But he needed to speak with Clara.
He leaned his back against the wall and opened the door just a crack, enough so he could talk to whoever was inside but not enough to look and be considered a pervert by everyone around. "Clara, can you hear me?"
There was nothing to be heard at all for a long moment and finally, hesitantly, he heard her reply. "Yes."
John inhaled sharply, thinking about how to start. "I found your wristband," he explained, "I want to give it back to you."
When she didn't even reply to that he felt slightly at a loss and his only comfort was that he knew she couldn't stay in there forever. At some point Clara would come out and then they would have to talk but he needed to get a few things off his chest as soon as possible.
"Clara, we need to talk about last night," John said so quietly that only Clara would be able to hear it, "I don't know what you remember, I certainly don't remember all but there are things we need to discuss. Please, just come out of there."
No response.
"Whatever you think happened last night I swear I never touched you. I would never do that, Clara, there's no need to be scared of me."
"I'm not scared of you," came her small voice from the inside and finally the door to the bathroom opened and he looked right into Clara's big, dark eyes. She seemed utterly terrified despite saying otherwise.
"Clara, I-"
"I saw the certificate," she blurted out.
Not knowing what else to say John reached into his pocket and handed her wristband back to her. Clara thanked him quietly before she strapped it back around her arm.
"Obviously neither of us really wants-"
"Can we not discuss it in front of everyone?" Clara asked him a little brusquely, "It's embarrassing as it is. No need to make it public."
"Embarrassing?" he couldn't help but feel slightly taken aback by her choice of words. He would have called it a lot of things but not embarrassing. A mistakes, yes. A stupid idea, hell yeah. But not embarrassing.
"Well, yeah," Clara frowned at him.
"So being married to me is an embarrassment for you?!" John would have never admitted it now but hearing Clara say it like that hurt. He liked her and though even after last night he hadn't expected her to like him back at the same extend he was still a proud man and certainly not an embarrassment to be married to. Before John could think better of it he turned towards the people staring at them. "Since you all seem so interested in our little argument, here are the details for you: my wife thinks it's an embarrassment to be married to me," he spat and watched them all slowly turn their heads to their food and drinks.
Suddenly Clara grabbed his arms and dragged him out of the café and along the ship's corridors, not saying anything until there was no one else in sight.
"There was absolutely no need to cause a scene like that," Clara yelled at him, her anger flaring up in her eyes and somehow she seemed a little taller while she was shouting at him, "I never said you were an embarrassment, I was talking about the circumstances and just so you know – this is all your fault!"
John snorted. "My fault? Excuse me, but how exactly is that all my fault? Your signature is on that piece of paper just as well as mine!"
"You let me drink! You've seen what happens when I do that on the first night!" Clara said, jabbing his chest with her index finger, "You should've known something bad would happen!"
"Clara, I'm not your babysitter," he replied, laughing at the silliness of her argument, "And as my signature on that certificate proves I wasn't exactly in my right mind last night, seeing as I ended up getting married to you."
They both glared at each other for a moment and he could see that Clara was dying to throw an insult at him but eventually the anger started to fade from her face. After a while they both burst into laughter.
"Well, your sister is gonna get one hell of a surprise," Clara remarked after a moment.
John couldn't help but groan. "God, she's going to tease me about this until the day I die."
He started moving his feet and Clara followed after him. A few turns later they found themselves on deck in a corner he so far hadn't seen and he realized why that was. They were in an empty playground, something not really needed on a singles' and party cruise where there were no children and John sank down on one of the swings. Clara did the same.
"So, how exactly did that happen?" she asked him after a moment, "I can't really remember much after the cocktails."
John snorted. "Yeah, those killed me, too. And they were your idea, by the way."
"Stop shifting the blame. We're in this together now so tell me what you remember."
"Well," he exhaled sharply, "We kept joking about getting married. I don't really know why, it seemed funny last night. I don't actually know whose idea it was to go through with it but we went to the captain. He was pretty annoyed. Or amused. Or both. And I remember us saying we wouldn't leave until he married us, so he did. Then we went back to my cabin and I went straight to sleep."
Clara remained silent for a long while and all he could hear was the squeaking of their swings.
"Amy said we can get an annulment back in England as long as we don't consummate it – which shouldn't be a problem, either cause we were both drunk or," she paused and when he turned to look at her John saw her nod towards his hand. Right. His own wedding ring. He had completely forgotten about that.
"Oh, no, I'm not married. This," he twisted the ring on his finger, "This is old, very old. I had stopped wearing it but then a couple of my patients had started asking me out and I found this to be a better excuse than sorry, this isn't covered by your insurance."
John turned to look at her, a shy laugh escaping his throat and to his relief Clara was smiling, too. And then it dawned on him. "Wait, were you thinking I was married and still went on a singles' cruise?"
"I don't know," Clara shrugged, "I didn't really think about it at all."
"I'm not that kind of guy," John pushed himself off the ground and lifted his feet, swinging a little higher, "My wife died 16 years ago. I still wear the ring cause now I'm married to my work. I'm not actively looking for something."
"My boyfriend died, too," Clara's voice was low and sounded a little broke. She didn't return the gaze when John tried to look at her.
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, "Recent?"
"Nine months," she breathed, "Some days it feels like yesterday, some days it feels like it happened in another life."
"And right now?" John wasn't sure why he was even asking.
Clara finally turned around, looking directly at him with her sad eyes. "As if it happened to another person altogether."
