DISCLAIMER: I OWN NEITHER HARRY POTTER NOR FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!

Chapter Seven

"Can't wait to see what Toad Lady wants to say," Ed remarked.

Before Winry could say anything, Umbridge started her speech.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Professor Umbridge simpered, "for those kind words of welcome."

Her voice was high-pitched, breathy, and little-girlish.

"Because those will be the only words of welcome," Winry muttered.

"Winry," Ed grinned. "And here I thought that you were going to reprimand me."

Umbridge cleared her throat again and continued.

"Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!" Umbridge continued, revealing very pointed teeth. "And to see such happy little faces looking back at me! I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends."

"When Hell freezes over," Al muttered.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all stared at Al in shock. Professor Umbridge cleared her throat again, and as she continued, she sounded more business-like.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance," Umbridge continued. "The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."

She turned and bowed to every staff member, but none of them bowed back. Ed gave an exaggerated yawn that had some of the Gryffindors laughing. Umbridge cleared her throat again.

"Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation…"

Only a few people were really paying attention to Umbridge's speech.

"…because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment," Umbridge continued. "Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

Then, she sat down. Dumbledore clapped, and the other staff members clapped a couple of times.

"Thank God!" Ed said aloud.

That comment made all of the Gryffindors burst out in laughter. Dumbledore smiled indulgently at Ed as Izumi rolled her eyes.

"I thought you were an atheist?" Hermione asked.

"I'm an agnostic," Ed said.

"Then why did you say that?" Hermione asked.

"Because of there truly is a God, He wouldn't want people to be bored to death by that woman's speeches," Ed commented.

Hermione scowled as Winry rolled her eyes. As Dumbledore went on with his speech, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ed, Al, and Winry talked about what Umbridge talked about.

"Well, certainly know why she's here," Ed said seriously.

"You understood that?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, I've heard plenty of them before," Ed said. "Once you hear one or two, they all start to make sense."

"Then why is she here?" Harry asked.

"So the Ministry can interfere in Hogwarts," Hermione answered before Ed could.

There was a great clattering and banging all around them; Dumbledore had obviously dismissed the school, because everyone was standing up ready to leave the hall.

"Come on, Al, let's go," Ed said. "Come on, Winry."

Then he, Al, and Winry left the Great Hall and went on their way to Gryffindor Tower, leaving Harry, Ron, and Hermione by themselves. Ed, Al, and Winry got to the Gryffindor Tower a few minutes later and were now standing in front of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked.

"Mimbulus mimbletonia," Al said.

"Correct," the Fat Lady said, winking at Ed and Al.

Ed groaned as the Fat Lady swung forward. Ed, Al, and Winry went through the hole and into the common room.

"Well, see you tomorrow, Winry," Ed said.

A moment later, Winry kissed Ed on the cheek and then went to the sixth year girls' dormitory. Ed blushed as Al looked at him, grinning.

"What?" Ed asked.

"Nothing," Al said.

Ed gave Al a look and then shook his head. Then they went to the fifth year boys' dormitory where they saw Dean and Seamus.

"Hey, Ed," Dean said. "Shouldn't you be in the sixth year -?"

"Nah," Ed said, going to his bed as Al went to his. "I was held back because I didn't take the O.W.L. exams."

"Weren't you exempt from them?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, well, Fudge made a new law or something," Ed said. "I just don't wanna talk about it."

"Brother is just sour because he doesn't get to be in the same classes as Winry," Al teased.

"Shut up!" Ed snapped.

Dean laughed. Seamus, however, wasn't laughing.

"What's wrong with you?" Ed asked.

Seamus looked at Ed.

"Me mam didn't want me coming back to Hogwarts," Seamus said.

"Why not?" Al asked as Harry and Neville just came into the room.

Seamus looked at Ed and then to Harry.

"Oh, I get it," Ed said. "Your mom reads that trash. She thinks that Harry and I lied about Bodel-butt returning."

"Something like that," Seamus said.

"My brother isn't a liar!" Al said.

"Al!" Ed said.

"What really happened in June?" Seamus asked Harry.

"Why don't you read the Daily Prophet like your mother?" Harry retorted. "That'll tell you all you need to know."

"Don't you have a go at my mother!" Seamus snapped.

"I'll have a go at anyone who calls me and Ed liars!" Harry said. "If you've got a problem with me being in the same -."

"STOP IT!" Al said.

Everyone looked at Al.

"Arguing isn't going to change anything," Al said. "Either get along or don't say anything to each other at all."

Then Al got into bed and pulled the curtains shut. The next morning, Seamus dressed at top speed and left the dormitory before Harry had time to put on his socks.

"Does he think he'll turn into a nutter if he stays in a room with me too long?" Harry asked loudly, as the hem of Seamus's robes whipped out of sight.

"Don't worry about it, Harry," Ed said. "I get a lot of flack from people at home too, sometimes."

"That's because you're always destroying buildings at home," Al remarked.

"Hey, not always!" Ed protested.

"Oh, that's right," Al said. "Sometimes they would get blown up because someone was always trying to kill you."

"Bliley, Kate, you can't catch a break, can you?" Dean asked.

"Eh, I'm used to it," Ed shrugged. "Come on, Al, let's get some breakfast."

"Okay," Al agreed.

Then Ed and Al left the dormitory. They went to the common room to see Winry talking with Hermione. Ed and Al went to Winry and Hermione.

"Hey, Winry, Hermione," Ed said. "Anybody talk any crap about me last night or this morning?"

"Yes, but I gave them a piece of my mind," Winry said.

Ed grinned.

"You're not worried about what people think of you?" Hermione asked.

"Nope, I don't care what people think of me," Ed said. "And neither should anyone else."

"Well, not everyone is like you, Edward," Hermione said.

"That's why I'm unique," Ed boasted. "Come on, I'm hungry."

Then Ed left the common room.

"See you at breakfast, Hermione," Al said.

Then he and Winry left after Ed. At the Great Hall, Ed, Al, and Winry found a place and sat down. They piled food onto their plates and started eating. A few moments later, they were joined by Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

"Guess what?" Ron asked Ed.

"What?" Ed asked.

"Angelina made Quidditch captain," Harry said.

"Goody," Ed remarked. "I'll send her something nice."

Winry nudged Ed for being sarcastic.

"That sounds great," Al said. "I wouldn't mind seeing what Quidditch is. It sounds interesting from what I've heard of it. What do you think, Brother?"

"I don't really care for flying on broomsticks," Ed said.

"But you haven't even tried it!" Ron said.

"I don't care," Ed said.

Just then, hundreds of owls came soaring in through the upper windows. They descended all over the Hall, bringing letters and packages to their owners and showering the breakfasters with droplets of water; it was clearly raining hard outside. Sara the owl came to Winry as the Daily Prophet owl went to Hermione. Winry got the letter from Sara, and Sara left.

"What is it, Winry?" Ed asked.

"I think it might be from Granny," Winry said, breaking the seal of the envelope.

Winry took the letter out of the envelope and read it.

"Well?" Ed asked.

"What does Granny have to say?" Al asked.

"She's just saying that Den misses me," Winry said. "She wants to know if I need more material for your arm and leg."

"Well, these are still new," Ed said. "I don't think I'll need anymore right now. Especially since these are for the northern climates like this one."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked, folding up her Daily Prophet. "England and Scotland can't be more cold than Amestris can get."

"In some places of Amestris, it's hot almost year round," Ed said. "Like with Dublith, the place Teacher lives at."

McGonagall came to him, Al, Winry, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. She gave schedules to all but Winry.

"Miss Rockbell, you've gotten perfect grades, so what do you want to take?" McGonagall asked Winry.

"Hm," Winry said. "I think I'll take all of them except for History of Magic and Divination."

McGonagall nodded and filled out Winry's schedule and gave it to Winry and moved on down the table.

"You're still taking Care of Magical Creatures?" Hermione asked.

"Of course," Winry said. "I like that class. Well," Winry put her letter and envelope into her bag, "see you at lunch, everyone. Don't cause trouble, Edward."

Then Winry left to get to her first class of the day. Fred and George came over.

"Don't get into trouble, Edward," Fred mimicked Winry.

"I love you, Edward," George mimicked Winry as well.

"STOP IT!" Ed said.

Fred and George burst out laughing.

"Don't you have those Skiving Snackboxes sorted yet?" Ron asked.

"Do mine ears deceive me?" Fred asked, he and George sitting by Harry. "Hogwarts prefects surely don't wish to skive off lessons?"

"Look at today!" Ron said grumpily, shoving his schedule under Fred's nose. "That's the worst Monday I've ever seen."

"Fair point, little bro," Fred said, scanning the column. "You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like."

"Hello, there," said a voice, before Ron could say anything.

Everyone looked to see that it was…

"Hi, Teacher," Ed said.