So Syed was back to the original question...girlfriend?

In many ways the question was even more heartbreaking than it had seemed a few days ago. Possibly because everything that had happened with Christian had just highlighted how much Syed missed him, needed him...craved him!

He also had to admit his parents behaviour just confirmed what he already knew deep down. He was putting his life in the hands of people who cared more about the respect they received from their community and their public image than his happiness. If they couldn't understand how much Christian really meant to him what hope did Syed have for the future?

The third and most heartbreaking realisation was that he had managed to convince himself that it was only his heart he was risking, that after Christian had turned him away he would get over him and move on. Syed never doubted Christian's love for him – he was only love he'd ever truly known – but he'd put Christian on a pedestal and always believed he could do better.

He'd realised at Christian's flat yesterday he was wrong...

Syed had seen his own pain reflected in Christian's eyes and it had broken him. He had to admit that was one of the reasons he had left – he couldn't bear to face up to what he had done.

But Syed had spent the night thinking and at some point everything had become stupidly, obviously ridiculously clear...and he woke up with a clarity he'd only dreamt of several weeks ago.

Syed loved Christian, totally and without reservation.

What is more he knew Christian loved him too. Syed knew that after everything Christian would still do anything for him...maybe even take a chance a risk his heart one last time?

Some people wait their entire lives to find a love like this. Surely the only real sin here would be to let it go to waste.

Syed took one last moment.

He was a gay Muslim, he accepted that, and he was about to try to convince the only man he had ever loved to give him another chance.

#######################################################################################################################

Syed ran downstairs and out the front door, he thought he might have heard his mum shouting his name but didn't hang around to check. He didn't want to be stopped this morning...

He left the house and turned right, he immediately saw Christian outside The Vic talking to Roxy, he would guess by the way they were talking he was saying goodbye, had he stayed the night?

Syed slowed and approached carefully, he wanted to see Christian but was not sure he could face Roxy...maybe he could just hold back and wait for them to part. He could follow Christian to his flat and catch up with him there...

As he walked closer he could just pick up part of the conversation,

"He needs help...not right for you...deserve better...fun...fit men...laugh..."

Syed caught a little more as he got even nearer,

"I love you, I really do, but you need to get real. Syed doesn't love you; this is not how you behave if you love someone! He's just a scared, weak man who doesn't know how to deal with his confusion about his sexuality...he's looking to you as an emotional crutch and you need to move on or he'll drag you down with him... Christian, you used to be such a laugh; you need to snap out of it!"

He'd heard enough, he walked straight up behind them...

"You don't even know me Roxy..." he faltered and they both spun around, both shocked speechless.

"Who do you think you are? You don't know me, and you know NOTHING about my relationship with Christian! You don't know what we were like when we were together or what it feels like to be apart." His voice was raising and he was started to attract the attention of some of the people on the market. "I love him so much that I can barely breathe when I see him; all I want to do is touch him...all the time! He is the only person who makes me feel totally loved and accepted for who I am, no question asked. He makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry and the only place I feel safe is when I'm in his arms..."

Syed was out of breath, chocking back the tears, struggling not to break down all together.

"I do love him Roxy. Tell him to walk away. Tell him he deserves better, because he does...but please never tell him I don't care...he means more to me than anyone else in the world..."

Christian was staring at him in shock. Roxy also looked shocked, but to Syed's surprise she had tears in her eyes. Syed was suddenly very aware there were people around him; he quickly scanned the little crowd nearby...silence, more shock.

He looked back to Christian, his heart pounding so hard; he was starting to feel a little dizzy.

"Sy..." Christian stopped, tears started to well in his eyes too, then he did what hadn't even occurred to Syed. Christian ran...