A/N: I've been bogged down by Reprise recently, so I thought it was time for a light-hearted oneshot.
Obi-Wan Kenobi, senior Jedi padawan and acting senatorial escort, picked his way through the meandering partygoers to stand at Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn's elbow.
"Master?"
"Hmm?"
"We have a problem."
Qui-Gon betrayed no reaction, but tilted his head slightly toward his apprentice in attendance. "What kind of problem?" He glanced over his shoulder briefly and frowned. "What have you done with the senator?"
Obi-Wan winced. "That's just it. I'm afraid someone is trying to assassinate her."
"And you left her alone?"
In an uncharacteristic show of frustration, Obi-Wan sighed heavily. "It's not like that – someone offered her a drink. Tea. She doesn't like tea, or so she said. She gave it to me. I drank it."
Qui-Gon was frowning, half at the explanation and half and his apprentice's unusual behavior and clipped tone. "And from this you learned that someone wants her dead?"
"It's been laced with toxins. I can tell." As if on cue, Obi-Wan wavered on his feet. His master frowned.
"What kind of toxins? Obi-Wan, stop staring at the Prime Minister."
"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan blinked and struggled to point his eyes in a Qui-Gon-ish direction. "That's another problem. I've completely lost my vision."
Qui-Gon's eyebrows rose. He noticed a flicker in the Force and turned to eye a footman who was looking a bit too attentive to the Jedi's presence. He touched Obi-Wan's arm and led him away. "Do you need medical attention?"
"Not desperately, no," which seemed a farce considering the sweaty, greenish gleam on his face. "I'm fairly sure of the toxin – it's called gamoran methanal. I've been learning about it in Master Trollack's class."
Qui-Gon took a moment to frown. "Trollack? Didn't you take his class last quarter?"
Obi-Wan would've blushed, but under the circumstances he could only sigh and lick sweat from his lip. "Yes, I did. I failed it. You gave me quite the ear lashing about it."
"Did I?" Qui-Gon hated getting old. "I suppose I must've. What does this toxin do?"
"Well normally it…" Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut and took a steadying breath. "Normally this amount would kill a person, if they're small enough, and incapacitate just about anyone. Thankfully the Force is a powerful ally- ugh," He shook his head. "Most of the time, chssk."
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon scolded, only because they were in public.
"Sorry, Master. I'll live, but I estimate that I only have about a minute before I lose consciousness." He had to take another deep breath. "Or less."
"Right," Qui-Gon said, repressing his own emotions to adopt a businesslike tone. "Then you have that amount of time to tell me whatever you know about this assassin. Who gave Senator Lanaley her tea?"
"A human. Female. Dark hair. Blue stained lips. Shortish."
Qui-Gon cast his eyes about the room above Obi-Wan's head, looking for any sign of such a figure. Obi-Wan reached out to grab Qui-Gon's arm; whether for attention or support it was unclear.
"It's not- I don't think she's the assassin, master."
"Why do you say that?"
"This toxin, it's an organic derivative of a plant grown exclusively on – sweet Force," He gripped his master's arm a bit harder as the toxin tore down his nerves. "on Felucia," He ground out. "And if I'm not mistaken, not only is a delegation of Felucians present today, senator Lanaley was the spearhead for a bill that defunded the Felucian herbal exports program last month. They'll want… want…" Now, he was holding on Qui-Gon's arm purely for support. "Revenge. Damn, this is working much faster than I'd anticipated."
"Alright," Qui-Gon said, holding Obi-Wan's arm firm with on hand and tossing up the apprentice's hood with the other. "No need to make a show of it. This way." Stiffly, suggesting through the Force that others avert their eyes, Qui-Gon led Obi-Wan over to a bench where he could lean up against the wall. The apprentice blinked at involuntary tears as he sat.
"Kriffing sith chssk hell," he hissed under his breath. Qui-Gon would've laughed at the very un-Obi-Wan-like outburst if he hadn't said it with such vehemence.
"I'll take care of it, padawan, let go."
"But master, we're in public."
"Yes, and you're going to end up unconscious whether you wish it or not, so I suggest getting comfortable and taking it on your own terms."
Obi-Wan sighed and did as he was told. He slumped over moments later. Qui-Gon sighed. "Good man," he whispered, and made sure that his cloak was arranged so it might appear that the Jedi was merely taking a respite. When he turned around, a pettish old woman was watching him. She had obviously seen the proceedings, and now lifted a sharply penciled eyebrow. Qui-Gon took on an exasperated expression.
"Youth," He accused in a surly tone. "They don't know when to stop."
The old woman frowned with stern, thin lips and eyed the reprobate. As much as she'd seen in life, she was unsurprised that Jedi were no less immune to worldly vices as anyone. She shrugged and went back to her cigarette.
With Obi-Wan unaware of his newly tainted reputation and undue attention averted, Qui-Gon turned his attention to the room. In short order, he spotted the Felucian delegation bundled in one corner by the bar. Stopping briefly by the door to collect a security detail, the Jedi Master went to work.
When Obi-Wan woke up, he was still sitting leaned against the wall in the ballroom, but without all of the people he hardly recognized it. He was still frowning at the faux wood molding when a medical droid noticed he was awake and began scanning him. He brushed it away. "Force," He palmed his head which throbbed.
Shakily, he stood. Qui-Gon was at the other end of the room, and Obi-Wan made it his goal to trek so far.
"Padawan," Qui-Gon seemed genuinely pleased. "I'm surprised to see you standing. MD-48 says you were dosed halfway to oblivion."
"Thirty mililitres, to be precise," the droid reported.
"Huh," Obi-Wan croaked, eyes squinting. "Is the senator alight?"
"Yes, quite so. The Felucians will stand trial here on Carida. Timely of them to make an attempt the last day of the summit. Our mission is at a close," The master smiled.
"Hmm," the apprentice said in far less enthusiastic tones. His mind was swirling in tar trying to catch up. Before he could register any of what Qui-Gon had said, Senator Lanaley, who'd been speaking with security, saw that the young Jedi was awake.
"Oh! You're up, thank the dieties!" She rushed over. "I would be dead were it not for you, master Jedi," she was all smiles as she threw her arms around his neck. "Thank you!" She pulled his head down and placed a kiss on either cheek.
Obi-Wan was still trying to wrap his mind around the concept of gravity, much less the sensation of a kiss. "Not a master," he grumbled reactionarily, and after a moment of thought, "come to serve."
Qui-Gon snorted softly. A Jedi through and through. "If you'll excuse us, Senator, we'd best be going."
"Of course, Master Jinn. Thank you so much for your assistance today," she went over and gave him a kiss as well, which he took far more graciously than his indisposed apprentice. "Safe travels."
"You as well, senator."
Qui-Gon led his bleary-eyed padawan to the loading dock. "You have something, just here," the master informed stoically, gesturing to his cheek. Obi-Wan frowned and wiped red lipstick from his face. He looked at his stained fingers in confused alarm.
"Is this blood?" He asked the air. Qui-Gon laughed.
"Let's just get you home," He said, and wrapped an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders to lead the unstable, hungover padawan up the ramp.
Thankfully, the effects of the toxins had worn off by that evening, allowing Obi-Wan to be his usual taciturn self when they made their initial report to a shimmery blue visage of Mace Windu.
"Gamoran methanal?" The councilor repeated, unusual surprise in his voice. "I've never heard of it. Well done, Kenobi. I would appreciate your full report on the matter." Qui-Gon couldn't help but smile at the praise. Obi-Wan was nearly grown, and it was gratifying to see the evidence of his abilities. Another evidence was the boy's obliviousness to his own gifts. Case in point: Obi-Wan merely bowed to the hologram, not noticing the accomplishment.
"Of course, Master Windu."
The korun turned his attention back to the master. "Master Jinn, The council will be in contact with the Caridan courts once the trial date is set. Be forewarned they will likely ask for your statement."
"Of course."
Mace shuffled through his notes. Eventually, with the business resolved, he frowned and looked back into the transmitter. "One thing puzzles me, Padawan Kenobi," he frowned, "why did you drink something offered to the senator?"
"I believe I mentioned, Senator Lanaley harbors an aversion to tea. Once the pleasantries of the offering were past, she gave it to me."
"Did she instruct you to drink it?"
"No, master."
"You know of course, it is below decorum to partake of someone else' drink – even if it is offered to you."
"…Yes, Master."
Mace watched him. "I do not discredit you for it, Padawan, it likely saved her life. But why?"
Qui-Gon was now watching his apprentice with interest as well. He hadn't even though of it, but it was a move far outside of polite behavior, and Obi-Wan was, if nothing else, shaping up to be a true aficionado of gentility.
The aficionado shuffled uncomfortably between the two masters' curious eyes. "It… He hesitated, blushing pink. "…it would've been a waste of perfectly good tea, Master," He explained guilelessly. As an afterthought, "…aside form the toxins, it was a very fine roast of kopi leaf."
There was an amused silence, betrayed by nary a smile. "…aside from the toxins, of course." Mace echoed in perfect deadpan.
"Yes," the padawan replied seriously.
Beside Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's mustache twitched upward, just for a second. Mace's holographic eyes swiveled to eye his old friend in a knowing light. Master Jinn's countenance shone with unabashed pride.
"As you say, Padawan." Mace said at length. He glanced to the side, somewhere out of frame. "I must go, Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi. Contact me when you land – and please take Padawan Kenobi to Master Che's office to update his records. I'm sure she'll want to make sure all of this gamoran methanal is well and truly gone."
"Of course, Mace."
"May the Force be with you both."
They bowed. Once the holo was terminated, Qui-Gon cast a sly look at his companion.
"A waste of good tea?" he asked, now not bothering to hide his smile.
Obi-Wan shrugged defensively, trying to formulate a dignified response but losing it on the tip of his tongue. Qui-Gon's laugh warmed the cold of hyperspace. "You grow in wisdom every day, Obi-Wan," He smiled, putting an arm around the man's shoulders so he could pull on his learner's braid (he wondered how much longer he'd have the privilege to do that) and ruffle his hair. "I've taught you well."
Obi-Wan smiled, not ducking away from the rough affection. "Everything I know."
