A/N: Ok folks I dont know if it got pulled or whatever, but here is the original chapter 7, for whatever reason we had two chap 8, sorry
Dislaimer:Becky and i do not own
Tarnished Gosling
Chapter 7 Broken wings and Bloody Knuckles
EPOV
Seeing Bella so battered and bruised really hurt me deeper in my core than I had anticipated. How can I really love a woman that I really don't even know? Sure, I have seen her hundreds of times over the past two years, had dinner with her and Heidi a dozen times when she would stop by the club. Never once did she lead me to believe that things between her and the ape were abusive. I have never told anyone of my feelings for Bella. I am pretty sure that I have done pretty well in hiding this. Jasper has caught me a dozen or so times day dreaming of my gosling. Being the awesome friend that he is, he left it alone. I started up my car and turned on my iPod, quickly jumping to Bella's play list the one song that I thought sang of how I was feeling right now roared through my speakers.
Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cuz I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stopping looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
Oh whoa
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk
and I need you now.
Well I don't know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
Pulling up at the club, listening to Lady Antebellum's Need You Now I felt my heart constrict knowing how raw my feelings are these days. After hearing what happened to Bella, knowing that she does not have a clue how deep my feelings are running for her, I begin to develop a plan on how I can be here for her, help her heal and protect her without her knowing how much I really needed her in my life. At this point with my gosling being so tarnished I would take whatever she was willing to give me no matter how small I would take it.
I got out of my car trying to not to hang my head making everyone know what a baby I was being and head off to the office to tackle the applications that I had casted off to the side in order to go shop for Bella's apartment. Sighing, grabbing a glass and pouring some Scotch I looked at my first application..Hmm Alice Brandon…
A/N Just to warn those right now, this section is going to get a lot heavy and very violent. I do not condone physical nor mental abuse toward any human no matter what. If you are squeamish or sensitive do not read this next section you will not miss out on any part of the story by skipping this, we do understand.
Jacob pov
I woke up this morning feeling well to be honest a lot on edge and downright pissed off. All night last night I heard her, moaning, panting, wanting, and screaming out his name. "Edward, she's moan; yessssss Edward, oh baby right there." Why doesn't she want me? Why can't she see that we are made for each other? I have tried to show her when we first got together, giving her flowers, kissing her with passion and making sure that every day she woke up she felt loved. Until. That. FUCKING. PARTY. I saw the way that he looked at her, all puppy dogged, lust filled in his eyes and in complete admiration of what was mine. SO yes I was smug and downright arrogant about my possessiveness of Bella. Bella is my girl, not some rich club owning pansy ass that puts his men in girls' uniforms. What the fuck was that? Humiliating them that way, what did that prove.. Nothing. And that speech that he gave me about how women aren't objects pasha what a girl.
Bella had already left for the day when I stumbled into the bathroom. I noticed I needed some soap, so I went to grab a new bar. I saw a white stick stuffed way in the back. WHAT. THE. FUCK is THIS? Oh my fucking.. SHIT she is pregnant..no no no no no this can't be, all the tests said I would never father a kid. That bitch has been cheating on me! THAT WHORE I roar out in the bathroom. Tearing through the house I grab my bottle of jack and take a long pull, feeling the searing burn run down my throat. I will show her, I will make that fucking bitch pay for her going behind my back to fuck that rich prick. I tried to keep my hands off of Isabella over the years, but she would make me so fucking mad. She knew I hated her hanging out with other people especially that whore of a cousin of hers Heidi that worked for that hosh posh club. I have been there a few times, why wouldn't I the women there are fucking hot and completely fuck worthy. I admit that I had dipped my dick into Leah behind the club a few times, sure she had a rockin body, but no fucking brains, and she is a complete ditz. No Bella had brains and wit, she is so funny and I could get lost in her eyes. THATFUCKING WHORE, SHE GAVE HIM HER BODY, THAT IS MY BODY MINE MINE MINE NOT HIS! I will show her not to step out on me, I will make her pay. I will get rid of that baby and she will learn. Throwing a picture of her across the room shattering on the wall, I saw Seth staring at me through the window. Not wanting to deal with other peoples shit I drew all the blinds and curtains closed and sat and waited for the whore to come home and answer to her unfaithfulness.
While I was waiting, drinking, thinking about all the things I was going to do to Bella to make that whore pay; my thoughts drifted back to my senior year in high school.
First down, we have twenty yards and we can get that ball in the end zone, we can own this shit. Spouting off the play to the guys, knowing we just needed one more touchdown and we will have won the homecoming game. My chest swelled with pride, my boys, bruised, some bleeding, but fucking happy and we where going to rock this game and be the home town heroes ending the school's homecoming losing streak for the past 6 years. I see the ball get snapped, I run into the end zone, and I see this huge brick shit house of a center come barreling at me. I duck, I shimmy, I sway and I catch the ball. I zigged when I should have zagged I crumple in the end zone with pain shooting through my boys that made me feel like I was going to die. I felt warm liquid oozing out my testicles when I looked down, I saw the blood. Darkness over took me. I felt my body raise and I heard the screaming the shouting, the hooting and hollering. WE WON! I woke up two days later in the ICU. I found out that the brick shit house was wearing illegal cleats and that when i fell he stepped right on my boys severing my vas deferens rendering me useless to make babies in my future. Dr Cullen told me that there was a slight chance that they could grow back and I would be able to father children. For years I jacked off into a cup and nothing. Two years ago before I met Bella I went for my annual jack off test. My doctor was surprised to find a few swimmers in there and told me that just maybe I could father children but to not hope to much.
I was snapped out of my memories when the whore walked thru the door.
"Bella…what the fuck is this? I said very slowly to her so she was sure to hear my question.
She stared at me stunned like a deer caught in the headlights, looking like she was going to bolt from the room. I got up and walked over to her. She had the nerve to step back. I grabbed her by the neck and slammed her head and neck against the wall, got really close to her face to make sure this time that she heard me.
"I said….Fuck. Is. This?" again holding the stick close to her face, you could still smell the bitches piss all over the stick. Fucking cunt.
"A pr-pregnancy test" she stutters.
A rage that I never knew that I could feel, the pain the anger and the hurt all coursing threw my body, taking over and getting ready to live what I had been plotting all morning long while I waited for her to come home.
"YOU FUCKING WHORE!" I roared as I slammed her head into the wall again. Seeing a small crack in the wall as she crumbled to the floor. I grabbed her body as if she were a rag doll and it hit me; bitch told me she was on the pill.. ANOTHER FUCKING LIE!
"You lied! You, stupid fucking bitch! You told me you were on the pill! You really think I'd have a kid with the likes of you? You're worthless, a nobody, the ugly duckling that no one else would ever want and this is what you do to me? I took pity on your sorry ass! No one else will ever want you..hell even I don't want you, you're just a useless waste of space! Good for cooking my meals and doing my laundry and when I'm really hard up...a quick fuck!" I knew that I was being hateful when I told her those things, but what the fuck the bitch stepped out on me, I no longer cared.. the bitch was going to pay..the bitch owed me.
She began to beg me to not kill her, laughing at her obscured assumption I leered down at her to let her know that no she wasn't going to die, but she sure as she was cheating she would wish she was dead. I took my blade out of my pocket and showed her. She scooted across the floor, quickly grabbing her I sliced a long slow deep cut running from her shoulder all the way down past her elbow. I whisper into her ear "will he still love you when your body is no longer perfect?" Making my tongue flick her ear. She had to know that I would find out, at least hear her moaning his name. I kick her in the stomach as hard as I can, feeling bone crush beneath my foot as I was going to make sure that baby did not survive. She began to beg me, oh how I love it when she begs, she knows just how. I throw the knife down between her legs, her body heaped on the floor sobbing, crying, begging and pleading to just let her leave that she would tell no one. I saw her panties "hmm lace, I wonder if he fucked her today?"
More rage coursing pumping thru my body, I yank of her panties and smell them, I force her legs open right there on the living room floor and I slam my cock right into the whores' body. Panting and grunting as I throttle that pussy hoping to cause her as much pain in the area that is MINE, she socked me right in my temple in her futile attempts to break free from me. Shaking my head I growl out at her " you'll fucking pay for that you stupid whore." She continues to struggle and fight, punching her in the face, pinning her wrists above her head I begin to taunt her asking her what doesn't it feel good? Tears streaming down her face she closed her eyes.. " That's right Bella, close your eyes. Maybe behind those eye lids your dream man is there to save you. Is he there Bella? Is he whispering all those sweet things that you ache to hear?"
"STOP IT JAKE! JUST STOP!" she screams at me, tears coming in abundance, blood under her body, I laugh at her while I tell her all about her whore dreams and me knowing all about how she lusts after a man who will never want her. He is rich, she is poor scum. I wrap my fingers around her neck and begin to tighten my grip. I am not going to kill her even though I want to. But I know my time is limited, she made a call while she was on the floor. Charlie may be on his way, I'm not sure, but I will be dammed if I am going to go to jail for this slut. I see her pass out. I finish fucking her, slicing her body in different spots just to mar the beauty. No one will want this, she is mine, and she isn't perfection any more. MINE. I heard a car pulling into the driveway. Heidi busting into my house, I was standing off in the hall in the shadows watching that whore tend to Bella. NO that bitch needs to BLEED she OWES me. I stomped over to Heidi, and smacked her off of Bella slamming her into the wall. I grabbed her and was going to punch her in the face when she sprayed me with some fucking pepper spray. Dropping her I ran out of the house, grabbed the hose to spray out my eyes and took off into the woods behind the house.
I watched the police come, the ambulance and all my neighbors looking on like my house was something that was now a spectator sport. I had snuck into the garage grabbing my other bottles of jack, a sleeping bag and a blanket. I ran the night in my head over and over. I saw how much blood was coming from that traitor pussy, my knuckles raw and bleeding. If she dies, to fucking bad the whore should have kept her fucking legs shut. I don't regret hitting her, cutting her perfect body, making her bleed. He wont want her now. She will come back to me. She will forever be mine. I already warned her several times, that no matter where she was I would find her. I would always drag her back, that I owned her. She will never spread her legs again for another man.
Chuckling in my drunkenness I revel in the pain in my hands, seeing the blood still on my cock, taking a swipe and placing it on my tongue. I growl out that's right bitch, your blood is in my body, you are now forever mine. I stare up at the moon and let out a wild howl before passing out on my sleeping bag.
