"Why is she talking to him?" I noticed a small, really pretty brunette chatting up Spike. She was wearing the most ridiculous outfit in the entire world. A neon yellow cropped top, sparkly mini skirt with blue fishnets and a pair of weird space cadet looking pumps. A Cyndi Lauper impersonator on drugs.
Spike had went up to the bar to get me something to drink. He was going to surprise me. We hadn't came together exactly. I mentioned that I might be here tonight when we were patrolling the other night. He simply winked at me, and said he might be here tonight too. It was kinda like a date. Well at least that's how I interpreted it.
"She is most likely looking for someone to have intercourse with. Her face is also looking at Spike like a piece of sexual meat." Willow, Tara and I all looked at Anya as if she were crazy. You'd think we'd be used to it by now. Xander was too disgusted by the idea of Spike being a piece of sexual meat to shoot Anya a look.
"Thank you for that imagery, Anya. It was the perfect way to top off my milkshake." Xander made a repulsed facial movement with his tongue.
Willow gave Anya a disciplined look then slowly Anya's face turned to guilty and sympathetic. Tara simply shook her head and shot me a sorry look. Times like this were when I was beyond grateful for Tara's quiet understanding personality.
"Oh, Buffy..." I sighed. I wasn't mad at Anya. It wasn't her fault that she was a 1100 year old ex-demon who didn't understand the whole concept of a mental filter. "She has extremely tacky clothing, and her butt is very square."
"What's wrong with her clothes? Or her butt?" Xander said, while obviously looking at the girl's weird butt (mine was so much nicer). All of us, including Anya, gave him a look this time. "Sorry, sorry. I meant what's our beef with her?"
"Honey, she's obviously trying to seduce Spike. She's a crypt wrecker. We hate her." I smiled at Anya. She wasn't like most girls' best friends, but she was loyal... you know, when she finally understood the situation.
Willow, Tara, and Anya were all aware of my "thing" with Spike. Willow of course knew all of the details; best friend territory and all. Tara and Anya knew the basics and the cheesy details. I finally spilled to Tara and Anya during our monthly sleepover tradition that we started years ago. The entire "sexy-pants" thing didn't help them from noticing either.
Tara had been really understanding and sweet about it. Anya, on the other hand had been aware of this she responded. She saw a segment on sexual tension on Oprah before, and had diagnosed Spike and I quite a few months ago. Thanks, Anya. Every time we had a girl's night sleepover it was now common for all three of them to sing "Spike and Buffy S L A Y I N G in a cemetery, first comes vampires then comes off clothing then comes a fanger in a baby carriage!".
Trying to get Xander to accept it hadn't been quite so easy. Actually, it was impossible to get Xander to accept it. I had subtly hinted it to him over coffee one day.
"What if hypothetically I got together with Spike, what would you do?" Xander choked on his coffee. Literally. I had to seriously pat his back.
"If you got together with Spike, I'd spike something pointy through my eyes then check the Hellmouth to make sure the world was ending. If it wasn't, I'd check you into a mental rehabilitation center." End of conversation.
It hadn't got much easier. I was sort of pissy at Xander for being so ridiculous about it. Anya used to torture, kill and did I mention avenge people? She was a demon! 1100 years old at that. I totally accepted her. Heck, I even considered her one of my best friends. The least Xander could do was try and be supportive. Fake it if necessary.
The best I could do was to get Xander to stop insulting him every other sentence. Now it was every paragraph instead. An improvement though, right? I knew Spike wasn't always an exactly good guy, but he had changed. He really did.
Ever since that night we drove the entire night almost near to dawn holding hands, our relationship (still felt freaky to think of the R word with him) had done a 360. It'd only been two weeks, but he still hadn't made the move to kiss me. Whenever we'd patrol, he'd grab my hand and we'd stroll up and down with our hands intertwined. If I shivered, he'd put his arm around me. We'd talk for hours, and he actually listened to me. It was a nice feeling. It made me happy in a way that I never felt before. I wanted to last awhile, maybe forever or at least as close to forever as it could.
But he still didn't make the move to kiss me.
Or tell me where this was going and what it exactly meant.
To say it was a little frustrating was a way big understatement. Except this little kooky perky brunette was getting all my frustration at the moment. I wasn't sure which was more frustrating the fact that she was doing it, or the fact that Spike wasn't pushing her away. A part of me was starting to feel a little hurt. Maybe, a little more than hurt.
Except that feeling of hurtfulness slowly disappeared into pure pissed off anger. She stretched and winked at him. The amount of cleavage she was showing was disgusting. The girl rubbed her arm up his bicep flirtatiously.
Xander like the older protective brother he was began to shoot Spike daggers with his eyes. Willow, and Tara were eying me worriedly while throwing dirty sideways looks at Spike and the girl at the bar. Anya didn't hide her dirty looks, and simply made a pissed off look at the girl. That'a girl.
This girl was going to becoming best friends with my 6.5 sized wedge in about two minutes. Who does that to a guy she just meant? Really, where did she get off? I was his girlfriend who just happened to be sitting a few seats away.
Then it hit me. Hard. Really Hard.
I wasn't Spike's girlfriend.
"I need some air." I shuffled out of the Bronze's backdoor in the far back so fast that I was afraid that someone would notice my abnormal speed. I knew they'd be chasing out after me. I felt guilty for making them worry about me. I didn't want to act like an angsty heartbroken teen girl, but I just needed to get away.
I breathed in the nice crisp night air. I needed to kill something. Like now. I remembered the Buffy who sexily danced with Xander (Willow still didn't forget that) to make Angel jealous. I remembered the Buffy who would get even and not run away. I never let anyone besides Willow, Dawn, and my Mom see me cry over Angel. There were tears shed in front of Giles and Xander, but I never let him see how heart-broken I truly was. That was how the old strong Buffy did things.
But, I wasn't her anymore.
I didn't know who I was anymore, sometimes. So much had changed, everything was changing everyday. It seemed like every time I got a little closer to happiness something destroyed it. I shook my head, and closed my eyes as the cold air hit me once again.
"Buff?" Xander was walking to me. Something about concerned he looked made me want to jump into his arms and give him a tight squeeze. Of course, that'd probably lead to a few broken ribs. Stupid Slayer strength.
"I'm fine. I just needed some air." Xander casted me one of his infamous looks that he got whenever I was shrugging something off.
"Buffy, you don't need to lie to me."
"I know I don't. I just don't feel like talking tonight," Xander shot me another look. Did my friends take Look Casting 101? "I just wanted to have a good time tonight." But I can't because I want to violently spike Spike and extra violently spike that skank talking him up.
"We don't have to talk." Xander casted me another look. Geez, louise with these friggen looks.
"Where's the rest of the gang?" Change of subject. Thank Thy Stakeness.
"They're waiting at the car. Though, I wouldn't doubt if it Anya is cutting tires, right about now. That's my girl." I laughed.
Xander wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and gave me a hug. I smiled up at him. Xander hugs were the best. Though, Giles was the best hugger in all of history. After a moment of composing myself, we started walking towards the parking lot.
"I don't want you guys to go home because I'm all bad mood-y." The guilt was quickly piling up.
"We're not."
"Then where are we going?"
"To get ice-cream." Maybe, it wasn't such a bad night after-all. A night with my best friends and ice cream could cure any woes. Except, a good punch or two to a particular someone's face would've been nice. Just saying.
