A/N: Hello, again! Sorry for the wait! Read on!
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters so Do Not Sue Me! These characters belong strictly to JP and the plot is an exaggerated version of many high school stories compiled together….
I woke up from my weird twisted dreams with a light shining in my face. I screamed and jumped up from my supine position to attack the laser pointer directed at me. My sister, Ella, groaned in frustration, lifting the pointer away from my grasp. She set it down on her bedside desk. It had a large mirror with sparkling lights bordering an intricately carved, pink frame. She had stolen it from Justin Bieber before one of his "concerts".
I turned to Ella to demand the reason of my previous unconsciousness but I was too taken aback to say anything. Ella was gaping openly at me and she placed a graceful hand to her mouth in an old English gasp of shock. I started to notice a small tear forming at the edge of her left eye.
"You- you," she stuttered dumbly, "You l-l-l-look ama-a-a-azing." She then coughed awkwardly and nodded for me to look at my reflection. I shrugged and glanced at myself in the Justin mirror.
Both my upper eyelids were stapled to my eyebrows, showing the usually unnoticeable veins above my pupils. Both my cheeks had a red smiley drawn on (well, my left cheek had a smiley face and the other had a frown. This probably was meant to resemble Ella's favorite psychological concept: smiley vs. frowny). My lips were a bright red color and swollen. Ella is the only one I know who can apply lipstick the right way- by repeatedly bashing the cap on the lips until they blow up to an unnatural size. My entire face was painted white like one of the ghosties in the attic. The T-shirt and jeans I had worn today were severely ripped from Ella's sharp nails and painted with various purple spots. I looked pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.
"Wow. I do look nice," I mumbled to myself, turning my body in different angles to get a better look. It was interesting the way my body seemed to change from orange to blue, with each turn I made. I loved changing colors.
Ella was nodding enormously, almost violently, and I worried she would get whiplash. I suppose I was just too beautiful for my own good sometimes.
Suddenly, I heard the familiar plick plick of my mother shooting the front door with her new BB gun I bought her for Hanukah. She used it as a warning to any trespassers. So far, it had worked out pretty well.
"Ella! Max! I'm home from my occupation!" my mother shouted up the stairs. I could hear her grunting, which probably meant she brought another stray dog home. She was always bringing dogs off the streets and translating the dogs' thoughts to a crowd of people in the downtown area. She usually set out an old tin that used to hold kibble so people could make their donations to her non-existent "Telepathy for the Canines" service.
"Mother, Max and I are in my room," Ella replied, still staring at me. I was a bit uncomfortable with all the attention, most likely a blush rising to my cheeks.
My mother walked in the room with a scruffy cockapoo. She took one look at me and I heard the whimper and sneeze emitted by the dog as she dumped it on the floor. She whimpered a little herself, staring at me with wide eyes.
Randomly, my mother got down onto her knees and sobbed into the puppy, blowing her nose in the soft fur as the dog howled in agony. The emotional pain of my mother was just too much for him.
"YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, MAXIMUM RIDE!" my mom cried in tearful joy, "YOU ARE THE MOST LOVELY CREATURE TO EVER EXIST!"
I thought this a bit exaggerated, but I thanked her anyway. Whenever I got a makeover, my entire family would burst into marvelous tears. Really, I do not understand how anyone can be THAT beautiful, even for me…
My mother, Valencia Ride, immediately jumped back to her feet and straightened her skirt with a pleasant smile on her face. "Tonight, our new neighbors are bringing over some dinner and feeding us since we have no food."
She walked with the snot-covered dog back to Ella's bedroom door and abruptly turned around and said, "Oh! And the lady next door says she has loads of adopted children she wants to show us. Isn't that nice, children?"
Ella and I mumbled our "er, yes, very nice"s and went back to whatever we were doing before our mother had barged into the room.
&*^%$#
My mother was downstairs in the kitchen, trying to make the entire house presentable. She was even sure to place some lovely daisies on top of my father's sleeping form in the oven. I wasn't sure when we would be able to use that heating device again…
Ella had just finished attempting to use a curling iron in my hair. Well, there were several curling irons stuck in my hair. We hadn't bothered to actually comb my hair beforehand so my hair was a big tangled mess of curling irons and random clips. It was so embarrassing! We didn't even bother to attach straight irons! I also had a multitude of burns along my neck when my sister decided she wanted to know what it was like to be a blind hairdresser.
At least thirty minutes later, it was time for the neighbors to arrive. Ella had demanded that I wait upstairs so I could make a grand entrance. At the top of the stairs, I rocked myself back and forth in the fetal position as I attempted to create a spitball shooter. I wanted to fire a bunch at my dad as karma for his drinking issue.
All of a sudden, the doorbell rang. I sprung up and took a peek through two of the balusters. My mother answered the door and hugged the person at the entrance. After pulling away, she led in the giant family. I recognized a couple of the people who trooped into my house. One was the boy, the guy I ran into the hallway at school. He wore a black shirt, black jeans, black eyeliner, black hair, black underwear (I assumed), black eyes, black nose stud, etc. He was quite dreamy. I settled my erratic breathing from looking at the strawberry blonde boy next to him. He was the boy I retrieved the ability to reproduce from. I believe his name to be….. Ippy? Iffy? Fabio? O no, no. I believe it was Iggy. He was a perv. Next to him was a boy I recognized wearing a sparkly shirt and bedazzled jean shorts. I found his ear studs attractive but I still hated him from the P.E. class. I would probably never forgive him for that dynamite-throwing incident. Following that boy was the girl I met in my Geometry class. What the ^*? How do I know all these people? After the girl, Nudge, came my P.E. coach, nibbling on a carrot. Then came in this guy who was made up of boxes with floating intestines. I was surprised anyone would be biologically related to him considering the fact that he didn't appear very humanoid. Anyway, the last to enter the household was a little girl of around six years of age. She peered at her surroundings with her "innocent" blue eyes, but I knew better. I could tell from the start that she was most definitely not innocent.
"Maximum, come down the stairs to meet our new neighbors," my mother called to me.
I immediately jumped from my present position and made my way down the stairs. I tried to dramatically step down each step like a princess, my gloved hand tracing the banister and everything, but on the fifth to last step, I tripped over my new kilt (my clothes that were revised by Ella just looked plain stupid) and somersaulted awkwardly down the stairs. Fortunately, I rammed my head into a hard, cold, metal object and blacked out for a few moments. After regaining the bit of consciousness I contained, I appraised my blockade. It was the guy who always dressed in black!
"Why are you so hard?" I slurred. Behind me, the two mothers giggled hysterically and the black boy offered a hand to help me up. Determined to seem like a burly man, I refused his act of kindness, pushed myself off the ground using my hands, and propelled myself, once again, into his "iron" stomach. I fell back down on my rear end, massaging my aching forehead fervently.
"It hurts so much!" I cried in agony. This time, my mothers rolled around on the ground in joyous laughter and the strange looking man chortled a little, his internal organs swishing around inside his box. It was a peculiar sight indeed.
I didn't refuse the hand the boy offered me this time and he explained shortly, "Sorry, I always wear a giant metal plate under my shirt. It's been a habit of mine ever since Iggy and the Gasman started shooting missiles at my stomach when I arrive home from school."
I nodded, completely understanding. I did not want to underestimate those two. No part of my body was safe from them.
After the two older women had finished wiping the tears from their eyes, they observed the giant group of people. The other lady I did not know the name of seemed to jolt back to reality and started naming off the many children she adopted.
Flipping her handsome blonde hair back, she pointed to herself, "Hello. My name is Anne Walker and this is my multitude of children."
She first pointed to the strange looking man. "This is my only biological son, the Uber Director. He also goes by Ubey, if you would like to call him that. He doesn't mind."
Next my P.E. coach. "This my adopted son Mr. Chu. You may call him Chuey. I never learned his first name, so you can make it up if you wish!"
Next the "innocent" little girl. "This is my adopted little angel from above. Ironically, we call her Angel. Well, after all, I came to love her the day she fell from the clouds and crashed through my bedroom window in a soft pink blanket."
Next the guy in the sparkly top. "This is my adopted son, the Gasman. I assume he is Angel's older brother because he crashed into my bedroom window before her and they look relatively alike. He even comes with at least a dozen gas masks!" The Gasman smiled, and handed me one for free. I grinned back. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.
Next the "blind" kid. "This is my adopted son, Iggy. He's blind, so he deserves what ever he wants, whenever he wants!" Iggy winked at me behind his mother's back.
Next the Geometry girl. "This is my adopted daughter, Nudge. She doesn't shut up! She's also very annoying."
Next the tall, dark, and mysterious guy. "This is my adopted son, Fang. He's a bit emo. But he's perfectly friendly once you move all sharp objects away from. I think there may even be a book about him!"
By this time, I was seething in anger. I knew that name.
"YOU!" I snarled at the dark boy. I lunged at him!
A/N: Mwahahaha! Cliffhanger! In…your….faces. hehe. I'll try to update as soon as possible, but I have a bunch of really hard classes this year so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to squeeze in. Review please! I want to aim for about 60 reviews in total. Sound good?
Bo
