Clara'sPOV
I could always count on a constant in my life, that cold feeling in all my limbs, binding me to this earth. I could always count on a numbness to weigh me down and keep me grounded, remind me that i physically was still here, still enduring the pain. There was no longer short spasms of pain caused by grief, the ones that felt like someone was taking a needle to every nerve in my body and injecting me with cold water. And there were no more halucinations, watching him die in front of my eyes over and over like there was before. That was more like purgatory, letting life happen to me. That was easy, being able to count on constants in my life, or somewhat easy.
But with each whip cut, with each branding iron that marked his skin, something else happened. With Edward's pain, there was other spasms, completely unfamiliar to me because i had been numb for so long. Every time i saw him, saw his blackened eyes and purple bruises, i could feel some heat coming back into my body, like when your fingers freeze and you flex them and some blood flows back to them. And i was flexing all over, feeling coming back to my body. It wasn't a good feeling, because i saw that it let in emotions, making me vulnerable, but i couldn't stop them. All of his pain hurt me too.
And her screams didn't help, her agony at his pain, her undying love. Even without having felt that myself since Isaac died, i wasn't blind to it. The way they looked at eachother, the way their attraction was almost tangible. And the way that each of her screams had him pleading to me through our minds, connected because we are sibilings. And i couldn't do anything, because if i used my power, the Volturi would never let me die. They would keep me alive forever, with them.
