Early 2005
~ ~ ~ Brian ~ ~ ~
Let Someone Be Close to You
In the weeks after Brian's accident, he wore a brace and adhered, more or less, to the instructions from his doctor. He hit the few bars that had reopened and found that having only one usable arm didn't slow him down much when picking up men.
He'd see Justin on the train in the morning. Brian, of course, remembered telling the young man that he'd consider going out with him. After the brace came off, Justin dropped some hints his way. He'd suggest places to meet or things to do together. Brian always found an excuse to avoid such rendezvous.
Brian was attracted to Justin and truly enjoyed his company. What he saw of his body the night that they shared a shower was enough to confirm to him that every part of Justin was desirable. That wasn't the problem. In Brian's mind he liked things just fine the way they were. He'd see 'Sunshine' in the morning and share pleasant conversation. Then he'd go on with his day. He convinced himself that's all he wanted from him. Somehow he felt that dating or fucking him would jeopardize that dynamic. Justin might want something more. He'd want to hold his hand. He'd want to, ugh, have breakfast with him and have a dating relationship. These were not things that Brian saw himself wanting.
Eventually, Justin stopped asking and they had their usual morning chats. They were always upbeat and no grudges were held at the failure of romance.
After the first of January, 2005, Carl planned his retirement. He had enough saved up to get out of the police force. Ever since Stockwell became mayor things had turned in a direction that Carl wasn't comfortable with. When he was offered an early retirement package, he took it.
When Deb was first talking about Carl's retirement she was saying how happy she was that they could take more trips to Toronto to visit Michael and their granddaughter, J.R..
But, one day, while Brian was having breakfast with Emmett and Emmett's boyfriend, Drew, Deb sat down to tell them some news. Carl and Deb had decided to move to Toronto to be with the kids. Deb found a Diner a lot like the Liberty Diner and was going to be a part time waitress. Carl got a job as a consultant for a security firm and would be going to their offices once a week. They'd move in two weeks.
Brian was brokenhearted, although he didn't show it. He had always loved Deb as a second mother. Hell, she'd been more of a mom to him than his own mother. Her brassy ways and fierce devotion were sometimes an irritant, but occasionally her best traits.
Emmett told her he was very happy for her and hugged her. Drew congratulated her. Brian offered a similar sentiment and got a big kiss on his cheek and a hug, too, whether he liked it or not. Brian went to work and sulked all day. His world was disappearing. He only had Emmett around as a friend, and most of the time he was with his boyfriend. Watching the happy couple was sometimes too much for Brian to stand and made him feel even more alone.
~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~
At the going away party thrown at the Diner, Deb cornered Justin and asked him if anything had ever come of his plan to date Brian.
"No, Deb. I guess he's not interested." Justin said dejectedly.
"I was afraid of that." Deb brushed Justin's hair out of his eyes and patted his cheek.
Justin looked up and smiled. He looked over at Brian talking to Emmett. "He's still my friend and I'm happy with that. I can't expect him to change for me."
"You can't ask a leopard to change his stripes."
He laughed. "Something like that."
"I know he likes you, Sunshine. I hear him talk about something you said or did all of the time. If he didn't care he wouldn't talk like that."
"Thanks, Deb. That's nice to know."
Spring 2005
~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~ B/J ~ ~ ~
In the spring of that year, Drew came out with an announcement on a local T.V. broadcast. During one of Emmett's "Queer Guy" segments Drew kissed him. He was quickly fired from the Ironmen football team. He didn't let it get him down. He contacted people around the US and Canada about playing or coaching for their football teams. An old buddy in Toronto said they could use him as a quarterback coach. Drew knew that the Canadian Football League was a way to stay 'in the game'. Eventually, he might be able to play again and maybe work his way back to a player in the US. He took the job.
Emmett got fired as the "Queer Guy" because of Drew's kiss. They discussed moving to Toronto together. Emmett had been in love with the city ever since he'd visited it for the Liberty Ride. Everyone that they knew who had moved there loved they gay-friendly feel of the place. Drew and Emmett decided to move and found a house with a large dining room for entertaining.
Now Brian was really alone. The last of the gang was gone. He talked to Cynthia at work and had a few regulars at Woody's that he'd chat with, but it wasn't the same.
At least he managed to re-open Babylon after Stockwell's initial shut down of all gay bars. They had to promote it as a dance club, and indeed, the clientele was gay and straight. As long as they had money, Brian figured, he'd tolerate the 'breeders'. Business picked up again and they made up for the lost months after Stockwell became mayor.
7/16/2005
~ ~ ~ Justin ~ ~ ~
One Friday morning Brian and Justin were on the train per their usual routine. Justin said, "I finished that painting I told you about. It turned out great. You should come over and see it in the next few days. I'll cook something."
Brian only seemed interested in his newspaper. "I can't. I'm getting ready for a trip."
It wasn't unusual for Brian to take business trips, often leaving early in the week to visit clients out of town, so Justin shrugged it off. "OK. Never mind." He was disappointed, though, that yet another attempt to get closer to Brian was turned down. He decided to change the subject to something he was pretty sure they could do together. "I'm looking forward to the Anti-Prop 14 fundraiser tomorrow, aren't you?"
"Not going. I'm busy." Brian said matter-of-factly.
Justin was shocked. "Why not? It's your club. It's for a good cause."
"I'm letting them use Babylon, aren't I?"
"Yes, but, you're a member of the gay community, too, you know."
Brian glanced at him. "Just because I fuck men doesn't mean I'm part of some community."
"How can you say that? It's about rights, our rights: adoption rights, legal partners, other issues that could lead to marriage equality?"
Brian snorted. "My visitation rights are fine for Gus, and I don't want to get married."
Justin rolled his eyes. He realized that every attempt he made to get to know Brian outside of the train was met with some excuse. He stared out the window for a minute. He wondered what Brian's reason was for not attending the fundraiser. "Where are you going to be tomorrow night?"
Brian furrowed his brows and said, rather loudly, "I don't have to tell you. We're not married."
Justin didn't appreciate being spoken to like that. "Trust me, you'd be the last one I'd want to be married to." He picked up his messenger bag to get ready to depart the train. "I was just wondering where you're going that's so important."
"I'm leaving tomorrow night to go to Australia for Mardi Gras. I'll be gone a week and a half."
"All by yourself."
Brian smiled. "I'm hoping to meet many fine young men once I get there."
Justin laughed. "Meaningless tricks, you mean." He leaned forward until they were eye to eye. "One of these days, Brian, you are going to have to let someone in – let someone be close to you."
"Fuck you." Brian said softly as he turned away.
"No, thanks. You're just fucking yourself." Justin exited the train without looking back.
