Hey, guys, Wensleydale here. Sorry for the traditional delay, I'm ashamed to call it a tradition now. It's a real pity I'm not able to upload as much as I would want to. I've put it off long enough, it's finally time for the final chapter of Called to be Wild! Thank you for all your reviews, for sticking with me all this time, through better or worse. You can't imagine how sorry I am for letting you down with my scarce updates on both SPA and 50LoC and my general absence in the SP fandom. I'm beginning to think I should really do a SP marathon sometime soon (well, the currently free episodes, at least) to regain my passion for the show. I still have one for writing, but other projects try to steal it away from the two South Park ones. I should join the bandwagon and rejoice, because suddenly continuity matters and all. Maybe I'll do that, yeah.
RESPONSE PORTION:
Rhi Rhi: He's been in the background at the SPE this whole time, but yeah, that's his second major role, I suppose.
Coyote: Heheh… Heidi showed them to the "back door"... That's something I'd expect Red to do, though! ...I am sooo mature.
Guest: Terrance is basically trying to break out of his father's shadow. He considers Alphonz' studies not to be serious enough. His son is much more ambitious than him.
John: If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't even have noticed he existed, given that I like the mid-seasons the most. As for the Turners, I guess everyone in South Park might be one fucked up, in-bred family. Would certainly explain a lot.
IHMSSM: Bebe actually going She-Hulk? That'd be awesome. I wish I had come up with it back when I wrote it. That's my biggest flaw as a comedy writer, I can never be random enough… Actually, I have a dozen hundred more flaws, but that's beside the point!
Demonlord5000: Wendy, as everyone, has her moments when the stupidity of the town gets to her. There is something about South Park's collective spirit that turns people into idiots. She is still clever and well-meaning, but as an idealist she can get carried away. I bet John'll have some issues about her characterisation in this chapter.
[Back inside, one of the henchmen is still looking through the window]
HENCHMAN: They've gone away somewhere, sir! The leaders have gone away!
TERRANCE: Excellent! Without their leader, their force has been diminished! Diminished! Now, take them away, boys!
[He opens the gate for Vladimir and the others to charge at the cardboard cutouts and proceed to beat them up]
TERRANCE: Take the fight inside! We can't allow anybody to see this!
[All the mercenaries grab the cutouts in headlocks and drag them inside with difficulty]
VLADIMIR: Dis guy is a strong one! [punches his "protester" in the "face"]
[Suddenly, Bill and Fosse run out of the scuttle, terrified and beat up. After them emerges Bebe with a maniacal cheshire grin]
BEBE: [snickers] Did you forget about MEEEEE?!
TERRANCE: [stammers, just as terrified] That's… that's…
BILL: Gay?
BEBE: AAAAGH!
[She charges at them and the four join the scuffle. Lola springs up from one of the crates, beams and follows them]
LOLA: Ooh! That looks like fun! Lemme join in!
[Meanwhile, Jimbo, Wendy, Kenny and Heidi sneak along the underground corridor]
HEIDI: So wait… You mean to tell me that a couple of hours ago you were still in South Park?
KENNY: (Uh-huh.)
HEIDI: How did you manage to get here so fast?
KENNY: (Uhhh…)
[We cut away to a small crashed plane with a sign saying "City Airlines" on the streets of Anchorage blocking the traffic. Tuong Lu Kim emerges from it]
KIM: [having a bit of a concussion, to himself] Shank you for frrying by Shitty Ailrines, it was definitery the light choice!
[They encounter Milly, running away from something]
WENDY: Milly?
KENNY: [attempting to sound suave] (Oh. Hey, Milly… What is a pretty girl like y-)
MILLY: [ignores Kenny, running straight up to the school president] Wendy! Ah'm happy as a puppy with two peckers you're here! We got to do somethin', y'all! They got Red!
WENDY: She's here too?
HEIDI: [snarkily] Yes, that's the most important thing you could have noted. Of course she's here!
MILLY: She's down yonder, in the lab! That's where all the dawgs are, too! If y'all don't hurry up, she'll be deader than a doornail any minute!
JIMBO: Okay! So lead us there!
MILLY: If Ah had my druthers, Ah'd rather go find Stan and Bebe. They might could be in danger, too!
WENDY: Be-
HEIDI: [covers her mouth, giving Wendy a stern glare] I swear to God, if you say "Bebe's here, too", I don't know what I'll do! Now let's go!
[They all enter through the lab door while Milly continues her venture through the hallway. Kenny is the last person remaining onscreen]
KENNY: (Aww…)
[Downstairs in the laboratory, Red is held high by the bearded Asian guy]
BEARDED ASIAN GUY: What… What the hell is your problem, kid?!
RED: I honestly don't know what the big deal is. All I asked for was to describe the last time you had gay sex in detail. Now what's so weird about that?
STEPHEN: [inside a cage] Yeah! [The other South Park dads glance at him] I mean, woof!
VOSKNOCKER: [pinches the bridge of his nose] I… I can't take this , do something with her.
RED: Ew, no! That'd just be creepy! What I'd like to do is watch you do it with another Japanese guy, simple as that.
MORITAKA: [frustrated] Why do you have to assume I'm gay?!
RED: Oh, of course you are. You just don't know it yet!
WENDY'S VOICE: Not so fast!
RED: [continues her talk with Moritaka] My thoughts exactly. You can take it slow coming out.
WENDY: [coming down the stairs] Your days of enslaving animals are over! Come, my friends, you're free!
[She takes the keys from the nearby table and opens a couple of cages. The dogs, already injected with Vosknocker's serum, run out and up the stairs, giant and deformed]
VOSKNOCKER: No! Don't you see we have a hostage?
WENDY:Oh. Yeah, and release Red, too!
VOSKNOCKER: THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS! Now you've angered me! Moritaka, slit her throat!
KENNY: (Uncle Jimbo, do something! Shoot him!)
JIMBO: I… We can't solve this with violence, Kenny!
KENNY: [rolls his eyes] (Oh yes, we can! Spin Blossom Nut Squash!)
[He launches himself at Moritaka's balls and the grunt releases Red]
RED: Huh. I guess you're gonna have to wait a bit for your gay sex.
[We cut to Milly and Stan in the underground corridor, running upstairs. Kenny catches up with them, having already left the lab]
KENNY: (Hey, guys!)
STAN: Oh, hey, Kenny. What are you doing here?
KENNY: (Been here for the while with uncle Jimbo and Wendy. She released all the dogs and they all ran upstairs.)
MILLY: She let 'em all out? But we were just fixin' to find Stan's!
STAN: Yeah, that's just gonna make things more difficult! Now we're never gonna find Sparky!
KENNY: (Uh, chances are you wouldn't be able to recognize him anyway. They're sorta… changed.)
STAN: Changed? How changed?
[They arrive at the entrance of the warehouse, seeing all the henchmen engaged in an all-out battle not only with Lola, Bebe and the crowd of cardboard cutouts, but also giant, genetically enhanced hounds, biting off various parts of their bodies]
STAN: Oh. That way.
[Wendy finally catches up with Stan's group with Heidi, Jimbo and Red. Randy's pack follows them closely, seemingly unnoticed]
WENDY: Ah, perfect! At last, the animals are free!
[We cut away to the main streets of Anchorage, where multiple monstrous dogs are basically wrecking the city and eating the unsuspecting citizens. We cut back and we see the same thing is happening inside the base]
HEIDI: [deadpans] Yeah, this was a flawless idea.
[We cut to Stan, chased around by one of the dogs. He tries to protect himself with a chair and Jimbo and Kenny run up to him]
JIMBO: Stan!
[Kenny thinks for a second, then sees a rifle on one of the henchmen's dead bodies. He picks it up and hands it to Jimbo]
KENNY: (Uncle Jimbo, this is your last chance! If you don't fulfill your destiny and become a hunter again, your nephew will die!)
JIMBO: [unsure] I… I know he'll die, Kenny, but I can't do it! I can't bring myself to kill another livin' entity!
KENNY: (But you have to, because… Because…) [His expression changes into a determined one] (...BECAUSE IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!)
JIMBO: [twitches, authmatically picks up the rifle and aims it at the giant hound attacking Stan] IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US! [He gives a shot and the beast falls down right before it swallows his nephew whole] Hah… This… this felt so good! [smiles enthusiastically] All right, let's thin out their numbers a little!
WENDY: [notices the two a second too late] Goddammit, Kenny! You just had to do it!
KENNY: (Whoo-hoo!)
[The poor boy picks up another rifle and starts shooting up the dogs along with Jimbo, the camera rotating around them. During all the commotion, one of the dogs approaches Jimbo, about to bite him on the head, but it is shot down at the last moment. The camera turns so that we see Ned and his shotgun]
NED: Mmm, hello.
JIMBO: Ned? Did you go all the way to Alaska on your hunting trip?
NED: Mmm, I got lost.
HEIDI: [frustrated] Oh, how the hell is everybody able to travel to Alaska in minutes now?! This doesn't make any sense!
MILLY: [shrugs] Ah reckon we should just go with the flow, Haahdi.
RANDY: [approaches them on all fours, still naked] That's right, Heidi. You should embrace the course of nature.
HEIDI: [runs away, shrieking, after she looks at Stan's father] AAAAGH!
RANDY: [to Milly, pointing at her friend] ...You see? Those are the dangers of not going walkies.
[We cut away to Wendy, who stumbles upon some sort of syringe which places itself inside her arm]
WENDY: Ow!
[She throws it out, paying no real attention to it as Red approaches her with Bill and Fosse tied up]
RED: I captured these two, what should I do with them? I tried forcing them to kiss, but they wouldn't budge.
WENDY: [raises an eyebrow] That's… nice to know.
RED: [to the two boys] Honestly, this is so confusing, you guys. Are you actually gay or not?
BILL: [through tears] Huhuh, we're gay.
FOSSE: [to Red] Uhuhuh, you're gay.
RED: [shrugs] ...I guess they'll work it out somehow.
[She walks away, passing Kenny who in turn approaches Wendy]
KENNY: (Hah! You see? I knew you couldn't turn uncle Jimbo into a pussy! Now where's my money?)
WENDY: [frowning and reaching for her purse] All right, here you are. But remember, just because you won this time doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying!
KENNY: [accepting the banknote] (Sure, whatever. Just remember, you're changing Jimbo over my dead body!)
[One of the crates they're standing next to falls on Kenny and smashes him immediately. The hand with Wendy's money is still sticking out. At first she's surprised, but then looks around, slowly snatches back the banknote and hides it in her pocket. We cut to Stan being approached by Lola, who's dragging one of the unconscious henchmen]
LOLA: [excitedly] Hey, hey! Stan! What are we doing next?!
STAN: [raises an eyebrow] Did you beat that guy by yourself?
LOLA: That's not a guy, silly, that's a cardboard cutout! That pile over there is full of them!
[She points at the spot where the scuffle took place. There's indeed a lot of cutouts from before, but mixed with Terrance's grunts]
STAN: ...I think this one might be actually a real person, Lola.
LOLA: Oh, please! [grins] Could someone made of flesh and blood be so easily set on fire?
STAN: Fire?
[The camera pans over, we see that the henchman's legs are burning. He comes around, howls in pain and runs away, hitting a wall and losing consciousness again in the process]
LOLA: [scratches her chin] Huh… Maybe it was not cardboard after all.
[Bebe appears from the side]
BEBE: All right! Now we only have to get this Terrance guy!
STAN: Yeah! Uh… Where is he?
[They hear a maniacal laughter and turn around. Above them on a platform, Terrance, Vosknocker, Agnes and Vladimir are standing next to a metal cage, out of reach for any of the heroes]
STAN: That guy!
TERRANCE: You think you could capture ME?! Well, think again, STAN MARSH! You ruined my entire facility, but I will rise again and take my revenge! We will meet again, and until next time, I have a little surprise for you! NAHAHAH!
[He unlocks the cage and out of it comes a Sparky-like creature, a ten-foot hound with sharp teeth and a pink ribbon attached to its neck. It jumps off the platform as Terrance's team takes off. Stan approaches it carefully]
JIMBO: That bastard… It's coming right for us!
STAN: No, uncle, don't shoot it! It's Sparky!
RANDY: [scratching his chin, remembering] Oooh… It's him I was supposed to be looking for! That's why I became a dog!
STEPHEN: [unsure] Wait, so it's not so that we're gonna hump each other?
GERALD: [looks around] Anyone seen Roger?
[Cutting back to Stan, we see him coming closer and closer to the growling giant Sparky]
JIMBO: Don't be an idiot, Stan!
BEBE: Yeah, it's gonna kill you!
STAN: No, it won't. [smirks] I told you, didn't I? I'm good with animals.
[He comes even closer, touching Sparky's giant muzzle with his open palm, the dog starts growling even more]
STAN: Come on, boy! Red rocket! Red rocket!
[Stan calming Sparky down happens completely offscreen. All we see is the reactions of the others present, Heidi's being the only one of disgust. We can also see Sparky making... particularly strange noises. The canine Marsh eventually stops growling and is seemingly subdued. Stan sighs in relief]
STAN: Whew.
MILLY: In… incredible…
RANDY: And THAT'S how you take a dog walkies!
[Sparky starts barking enthusiastically on the spot and launches himself affectionately at his owner]
STAN: [catches the dog in his hands and hugs him] Sparky! Oh, dude, I missed you so much! Don't worry, it's over now. Let's go home! [Sparky licks him on the face, barking] Heheh, there, there, little buddy.
[Bebe approaches him, smiling, her ruined shoe in her right hand. Stan notices her, just a bit embarrassed. Bebe starts giggling]
STAN: Wh-what?
BEBE: Oh, nothing, nothing. It's just… I just wondered maybe you're not as insensitive as I once thought.
STAN: [smirks] Shut up.
BEBE: [crouches beside him and nudges him on the shoulder playfully] You know, I actually kinda enjoyed this trip. I thought it'd be boring and in fairness just volunteered out of curiosity, but it was kinda fun! Maybe we should do this again sometime, whaddya think?
STAN: Yeah... Yeah, I guess you're right. It's been fun. I guess I don't mind going on adventures with girls after all.
[They exchange slight smiles, Stan still petting his dog on the ground. Suddenly, Wendy approaches the two]
WENDY: Hey, guys, have you seen-
STAN: [interrupts her, glaring at the brunette] On second thoughts, I do mind. Bye!
[Stan picks Sparky up and walks away. Wendy turns around only to see Bebe giving her the same glare. There is a moment of silence]
WENDY: I... did something, didn't I?
[THE END
You have been watching:
STAN MARSH
KYLE BROFLOVSKI
ERIC CARTMAN
KENNY MCCORMICK
BUTTERS STOTCH
WENDY TESTABURGER
RANDY MARSH
JIMBO KERN
SHARON MARSH
SHELLY MARSH
HARRISON YATES
BEBE STEVENS
BEARDED ASIAN GUY
VLADIMIR STOLFSKY
NED GERBLANSKY
SARAH VALMER
MARVIN MARSH
TOM PUSSILICKER
RED TUCKER
HEIDI TURNER
MILLY LARSEN
LOLA BARBRADY
WALTER DARLING
DARRYL WEATHERS
THOMAS TUCKER
MARY MCDANIELS
GEORGE BARBRADY
STUART MCCORMICK
GERALD BROFLOVSKI
STEPHEN STOTCH
JASON MCHUGHES
POWDER TURNER
SHIPYARD WORKER
DOCTOR VOSKNOCKER
BILL ALLEN
FOSSE MCDONALD
TERRANCE MEPHESTO
AGNES THE ASSISTANT
UNNAMED HENCHMAN
TUONG LU KIM
and SPARKY MARSH
Screenplay – WENSLEYDALE CHEDDAR
Images – WENSLEYDALE CHEDDAR ( with the help of SP-STUDIO by JANINA HIMMEL)
Executive producer – WENSLEYDALE CHEDDAR
Consulting producer – JVM-SP150
Original creators – TREY PARKER, MATT STONE
Special thanks to – JVM-SP150, NOSEBRIDGEPINCH, COYOTE SMITH, RHI RHI, DYM, MUTT, RACHEL, KITTY, NWT, and everyone else from the SOUTH PARK UNLEASHED FORUM I forgot to mention. Also, thanks to all reviewers, in particular IHATEMARYSUESSOOOOOMUCH, DEMONLORD5000 and CONNIETHECAT, who have commented on nearly all the chapters, you guys rock!]
Evil geniuses like to say certain things twice! Twice, I said! Meanwhile, Red could be deader than Unohana, who's dead and never coming back. But she isn't. I just wanted to make a WMR reference. Yeah. Check Weekly Manga Recap out.
To be fair, Kenny saying 'over my dead body' is just asking for trouble, isn't it? Also, I think this marks the first episode without any Fiona cameo whatsoever.
I don't feel like writing a bigger commentary. I just hope you enjoyed the episode. Surprise, surprise, there will be an epilogue posted next week! Just a two-page scene, but I hope you'll enjoy it. Because of that, LWC might be a chapter short, I think. Anyway, thank you for joining me on this adventure and I hope you like the next fic! If you have time, please leave some comments to help me improve my writing and produce better stories. I hope you have a great week.
Cheers,
WDC
