(Continuation of flashback scene in previous chapter)


Two months. Two long, painful months since that day she last saw Regina. The guilt was still eating at her every single second of every single day. After the first week, Regina changed her number, after the first month, Emma couldn't even get into the front door of her building before the two security guards were escorting her away. It had been three weeks since she ran into Neal, her suspicions of being drugged brought to light as Neal told her he'd suffered the same fate as her that night. They weren't the only ones. Neal had told her that he found out three others had their drinks spiked that night without them realizing it, yet none of them knew or ever would know who did that to them. Even learning that, it didn't make anything better. Nothing would ever make anything better.

And it had been two months since she'd had her period and she was terrified, sitting on the edge of the tub with the white stick in her hand, waiting for the lines to appear on the pregnancy test she'd asked Ruby to buy her two days ago.

Two days was how long it took her to muster up the courage to take the test, but after some quick research, she already knew. She was pregnant. Now it was just down to the test that she was so afraid to take.

"Hey, how much longer?" Ruby asked as she stood by the sink and checked her watch. "The box said ten minutes, right?"

"Yeah."

"It's been almost ten minutes."

"Has it? Because it feels like it's been an hour already!" Emma snapped and she closed her eyes, the lump that had been in her throat growing as she waited for either the line to appear or the plus sign. Shaking the stick in her hand, she rose to her feet and swallowed hard as she stared at Ruby. "What if—"

"Then we'll deal with it, okay?"

"Ruby, I'm so scared."

Ruby nodded as she wrapped her arms tightly around Emma and held her tight. "I know, Em, I know. Me too, but I'm always gonna be here for you."

"Granny is going to kill me if I'm pregnant."

"She'll be wicked pissed for a little while, but you're family, Em, and family don't turn their backs just because of something like this. We'll talk to her, explain what happened and if you don't want to keep the baby or if you do, we're going to be there for you. Every step of the way, okay?"

"I'm too scared to look."

"We'll look together," Ruby said with a nod as they stepped out of their tight embrace. Rub gently grabbed on to Emma's right hand, the hand that held the test and they both looked down together. "Oh, Emma…"

Emma dropped the test into the sink, her heart fluttering and racing so wildly out of control she thought she was going to faint or have a heart attack or both. Ruby said nothing as she grabbed on to Emma and they both sank down to the cold, tiled floor. Emma started crying into Ruby's shoulder, so much fear filling her as the positive sign shone behind even her tightly clenched eyelids.

"What am I going to do?" Emma whispered weakly.

"What do you want to do, Em?"

Emma swallowed hard as she lifted her head from Ruby's shoulder. It wasn't even an answer she and to think twice of, despite everything else screaming at her to get rid of the baby before it was too late, before it ruined her life and she ruined his. Or hers. She frowned as Ruby grabbed a kleenex and dabbed at her rosy red and damp cheeks.

"I'm going to keep it."

"Yeah?" Ruby smiled, her own eyes filling with tears. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Even as scared as she was, there was no other right decision. There was no wrong decision either. She was young, heartbroken, scared, and pregnant, but she wasn't alone. She had Ruby and Granny and somehow, she just knew that everything was going to be all right, no matter how complicated and unfathomable the situation she found herself in truly was.

Of course, hours later, when Granny came home to join them for dinner, the reality of the situation was brought down heavily on her by the woman who had taken her in and loved her as if she were her own. Despite her anger, Granny was supportive yet the words she spoke brought light to the gravity of Emma's current situation. Raising a child would not be easy, not even with their help or even Neal's, but Emma had already made her choice when it came to Neal. She didn't want him in her life, she didn't even want him to know she was pregnant, much less having him help her raise a child.

Even after they finished up with dinner, Granny didn't return to the diner to finish out the night, instead calling the assistant manager and telling her she had a bit of a family emergency to attend to. The family emergency consisted of her and Emma sitting alone in the kitchen, discussing just what they were going to do from there on out.

And not once did the name Regina fall upon either of their lips, but it was all Emma could think about. What would Regina say if she found out Emma was pregnant? That she was going to keep the baby despite the unfortunate circumstance that the baby was conceived in? Would she hate her even more, knowing all of this? Emma knew it didn't matter anyway. Regina was gone and out of her life and the only reminder she had of the woman she still loved so deeply was just that, the love that lingered in her broken, shattered heart. Love that would never fade.

Because when it came to true love, it never withered and died.

The next morning, Emma found herself in front of Regina's building with a letter clenched tightly in her hand. She had tried to explain everything in the letter as best as she could and she knew she was taking a chance that she could even get it to Regina, much less expect her to read it, but she had to take that chance.

Surprisingly, this time the security guards were nowhere to be seen and after running into someone that lived into the building, explaining that a friend of hers was expecting her, they let her in without question and she found herself minutes later standing outside of Regina's door, hesitant to knock.

What would she say? Would Regina just slam the door in her face or would she refuse to open it at all? She just wanted to see her, even if those soft brown eyes that she'd spent hours drowning in, were staring at her with such fiery anger. She just wanted to see her. Her heart ached so much for the woman and her emotions were running wild and far more sensitive than she'd ever experienced before.

With a deep breath, she raised a hand and knocked on the door, stepping back as she clutched the letter in her hands. The last couple of letters had been returned to her with a red stamp of "return to sender" on each of them. Maybe Regina just sent them back, hoping she'd take a hint, but she refused to believe that Regina was gone.

"Yes, can I help you?" An older man asked when he opened the door. "Miss?"

"Hi, um, I'm—" Emma looked down the hallway and at the door just behind her to her left to make sure she hadn't knocked on the wrong door. "I'm looking for Regina."

"Ms. Mills?" The man asked and she spotted a flash of blonde hair behind him and he waved the woman off. "Are you a friend?"

"Yes."

"Oh," the man frowned and she could see that sympathetic look in his eyes as he slowly shook his head. "She didn't tell you she was moving?"

"I-I haven't seen her for a while."

"She left nearly a month ago," the man said quietly. "I'm afraid she didn't leave a forwarding address."

"Okay…" Emma gulped as she backed away from the door, willing the tears in her eyes not to fall, but she was powerless to stop them, her emotions running far too high for her to stay in complete control of them. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

The man just smiled sadly at her before she turned and nearly ran down the hallway to the elevator, tears burning in her eyes as she hit the button repeatedly with one hand, the other crumpling the letter tightly until it felt like the paper was burning.

Gone. Regina was gone. She was really gone and Emma had absolutely no idea where she could be or how she would ever find her. Maybe Regina really meant what she had said, that she wanted her out of her life, that she never wanted to see her or have anything to do with her ever again.

Emma wasn't sure what hurt more, the guilt that weighed heavily in her heart or knowing that she would never see Regina ever again.

She walked home, her feet throbbing after an hour, tears still burning in her eyes, but the walk through the city had given her plenty of time to think. To think about her time with Regina, to think about what had happened at Jefferson's party with Neal, to think about what her life had become and what would possibly happen from there on out.

It wasn't going to be easy, but then again, her whole life had been filled with challenges. Her only comfort was knowing she was strong enough to take whatever life threw her way and that she wasn't alone, she had her family, and soon she'd have a baby of her own, someone who would love her unconditionally for the rest of her life, someone she knew even then that no matter how much time would pass by, she would forever be reminded of how she had loved and lost and still lived through all the guilt and the pain.


Emma poked at the small bonfire she'd built in the fire pit just off to the side of the cabin. The wood crackled and popped as she flipped the log over and watched the embers rise up in the darkening sky. Henry was sitting on one of the chairs they'd dragged out from inside the cottage, happily munching on one of the few s'mores he'd made for himself.

"Aren't you going to eat yours?"

"I'm not hungry, kid."

Henry frowned, but continued to eat his, the marshmallow dripping from the side and landing on the ground with a soft plop. Emma raised the bottle of beer she had in her hand to her lips and sighed before taking a sip of the warming beverage she'd been nursing for the better part of an hour.

She glanced down at the pad of paper sitting on the ground by her feet. Henry had come up with what he thought was the perfect plan in getting through to Regina, to find a way to get her to listen, to understand. Henry didn't want her to give up and she didn't want to give up either, not even after eleven years. But all she'd managed to do was write Regina's name at the top of the paper and the rest was blank. Where did she start? What did she say that she hadn't said in all those other letters that never reached Regina in the first place?

"What was she like?" Henry asked quietly as he wiped his hands on his shorts. "Regina, what was she like, Mom?"

Emma smiled as she lifted the bottle to her lips and took another sip. "She was just so amazing. I'd never met anyone like her before. She was so kind, so sweet, so loving, so…beautiful."

"She's still beautiful."

"Yeah?" Emma asked with an eyebrow raised and she chuckled. "Yeah, she still is, isn't she?"

"Do you still love her?"

"I do. I never stopped."

"Then write that down," Henry said as he pointed to the pad of paper. "Go on, write it down. Isn't that a good way to start it?"

"You're helping me write this letter now or something, kid? What do you know about love?"

"You love me," Henry smiled. "I know plenty about love. You love me, Ruby loves me, Granny loves me."

Emma sighed and shook her head. "It's not really the same kind of love."

"I know, it's the mushy romantic love," Henry said as he pulled a face and laughed. "I know it's not the same, but it kinda is isn't it?" He pointed down at the pad of paper again and gave her the same look she normally gave him when he had homework to finish that he refused to do. "Write it down, Mom."

"I don't think starting the letter with "I'm still in love with you" is a good idea, kid. When you get older, you'll understand."

"Well, it couldn't hurt."

Emma sighed again and picked up the pad of paper and the pen that lay on the ground next to it. Under Regina's name, she wrote down those words in very small letters, her hand shaking slightly as she lifted the pen from the paper. As she looked down at the paper, she laughed at how ridiculous it made her feel. Regina wouldn't read a letter from her, especially not one that started with her telling her she was still in love with her.

"What's so funny?"

"I don't think I can do this, kid," Emma said as she ripped the paper and crumpled it up, tossing it into the fire. Her eyes stared at it as the flames licked around the white paper before it burned completely.

"Are you just going to give up?"

Emma shook her head no. She just didn't know what she was going to do, not exactly. She did have a plan no thanks to Henry, but a plan that would have to wait until Ruby could get that box of letters to Storybrooke.

"Mom?"

"What?"

"Are you just going to give up?" He asked her again.

"No, kid, I'm not, but I just don't know what to do. She's still pretty pissed at me."

"What did you do to her anyway?"

"I broke her heart, kid."

Henry knew about his father, and not by a choice of her own but because he had snooped and found one of the letters she'd written to Regina. They never talked about Neal and although he was too young to fully understand what he'd read in that letter, he would never know that he was conceived by a night Emma couldn't remember and couldn't forget. Despite Henry's vague knowledge of his father, Emma had vowed from the day she found out she was pregnant to never let her child know that he'd been conceived by a mistake neither of his parents had control over. And she would never tell him that it was because of that night, because of that mistake, she had lost the love of her life over it.

Henry, being her son and as curious as ever, actually didn't ask her why or how she'd broken Regina's heart and for that she was grateful. He went back to eating the other s'more he'd made for himself and Emma picked at the edge of the notebook and tapped the pen on her knee.

"Just be honest," Henry said quietly. "In the letter, Mom? Just be honest."

"Henry, it's not—"

"That simple, I know," he smiled a little at her. "But it can be. You just have to want it to be, Mom. You said you weren't going to give up. Did you change your mind?"

"No," she replied, feeling her own smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "I'm not going to give up, kid."

"Good because you can't. You can't give up on true love."

"What do you know about true love?"

"Nothing," Henry quipped. "But I think it means never giving up and you never stop loving them no matter what."

"Who are you and what did you do with my kid?" Emma laughed as Henry held up his hands in surrender. "It means a lot you're on my side with this, kid."

"I'm your son, I'm supposed to be on your side, Mom."

"Thanks."

"Besides, you've never been with anyone for as long as I can remember. I don't like seeing you sad all the time."

"I'm not sad."

"Yeah, you are," Henry said pointedly. "You don't see it, but I do. I see it every time I look at you, Mom. We all deserve to be happy, don't we? Especially you."

Emma sighed, hating that her son could see that sadness that lingered inside of her all the time and she hated the fact that he was far more wise than she ever gave him credit for. While she had dated casually over the years, men mostly, she never allowed them to meet Henry. None of them were good enough, none of them made her feel that spark, the one she'd felt when she was with Regina. None of them lasted more than a date or two because none of them were her.

When the fire started to die down, she had to coax Henry to go to bed. After a bit of an argument, he finally retreated to the bedroom upstairs and she stayed in the kitchen, pulling out a cold beer from the fridge and twisted off the cap. The pad of paper and pen sat on top of the kitchen table, mocking her in the dim light. It took her a whole hour of staring at it before she sat down and put the pen to the paper, knowing exactly what she needed to write.

By the first rays of dawn, Emma had the letter finished, but she was filled with doubts, along with the heavy feeling the lack of sleep had plagued her body with, but it was finished and she had—quite literally—poured her heart out with every word she wrote despite knowing that there was a very high possibility that Regina would never read this letter, whether she delivered it or not.

Glancing at the watch on her wrist, she figured she had a few hours to sleep before Henry would wake up, but despite how tired she was, her mind was racing a mile a minute and no matter how hard she tried to fall asleep on the couch, she lay there wide awake, her eyes trained on the rafters on the ceiling, her mind on all the things she'd written in the letter. Things she'd written before, but it was different now, different because of the years that had passed, different because she'd had eleven years to think about that one night that changed her whole life.

She'd never been more honest in her life than she had been in that letter she spent all night writing. The same letter that she'd sealed in an envelope as soon as she signed her name at the bottom of the third page. The same letter which still sat on top of the wood table in the kitchen next to the empty bottle of beer she'd nursed for hours.

Giving up on the hope to have a few hours to sleep, she sat up on the couch and ran a tired hand through her hair. Outside the birds started to sing as the sky began to lighten with the first rays of dawn. Finding she needed a way to take her mind off of Regina, the letter, and the ones that Ruby would be trying to get to her in Storybrooke, she changed her clothes, putting on a pair of grey sweatpants and paired it with a matching grey tank top. She got her running shoes out of the back of her car and slipped them on, making sure to leave a note for Henry in case he woke up before she returned.

Although she was unfamiliar with the property, she found a trail not too far from the clearing the cottage sat on and she easily fell into a rhythm, focusing only on the sound of her feet hitting the dirt as she ran down the narrow, winding path through the damp forest. The path led to a creek and Emma slowed, panting hard as she watched the sunlight lick at the clear, bubbling water.

What was she doing? When it came to Regina, there was no way she was going to get through to her, to talk to her, to get her to finally listen to all the things she'd been waiting for so long to say. The whole point of her being in Storybrooke for the summer was to get away from her chaotic, stressful life, to recharge, to unwind, to finally relax after years of never taking the opportunity to. This wasn't about Regina, this was about herself, about Henry. It was just a coincidence that Regina was there in Storybrooke. Wasn't it?

A part of her didn't believe it was a coincidence. The longer she watched the water flowing over the smooth black rocks at the bottom of the creek, the more the gears in her head started to turn. Granny had offered her a place to stay for the somewhere, in a town she had lived in long ago before moving to New York City to take care of her granddaughter. Ruby herself had helped Emma in trying to locate Regina for years before Emma finally gave up and Ruby was the only one who knew Regina's last name.

Ruby, she was behind this. All of this. The trip to Storybrooke for the summer knowing it was the one place that Emma would find Regina after all those years. What was the point of any of it? Regina didn't want her there, Regina didn't want to see her or speak to her. So what was the point of any of this?

Emma clenched her jaw tight as she she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and hit the speed dial, fuming as the line began to ring.

"Em, hey! Good news—"

"You knew, didn't you?" Emma snapped as she paced on the dirt trail.

"What?"

"You knew she was here, didn't you, Ruby? And don't lie to me."

Emma panted heavily as she waited for Ruby to answer her and when she was met with silence, she could feel her anger bubbling under her skin and the low growl that slipped past her lips elicited a little yelp from Ruby.

"Ruby?" Emma said firmly. "Did you know that Regina was in Storybrooke?"

"Yes, I knew! But hear me out?" Ruby said in a rush and continued when Emma didn't say anything. "I know you've never stopped loving her, not for one second, Emma. I've spent the last eleven years seeing you with that sadness in your eyes when I know you're thinking about her and I couldn't stand to see you continue to live like that. I started to look for her again, for you and when Granny found out what I was up to, she started to help look for her too."

"Ruby…" Emma pinched at the bridge of her nose, her anger still bristling under her skin. "You lied to me."

"I didn't."

"Yes you did!" Emma yelled into the phone and she started to pace again. "When I told you that Regina was here in Storybrooke, you could've told me then that you already knew and you lied to me, pretending to be oh so shocked—"

"Em, you and I both know that even if you knew Regina was in Storybrooke, you never would've gone there despite how much I know you wanted to find her, to see her again. Your idea about the letters? It might work."

"It might not! She's made it pretty clear that she doesn't want to see or talk to me, Rubes. And wait, did you say that Granny helped you find Regina for me?"

Ruby's laughter sounded through the line and Emma could finally feel her anger starting to subside a little. "I told her what I knew about Regina, which wasn't a whole lot, and as soon as I mentioned her last name, she said she knew exactly who she was. The only daughter of the Mills' family, people who had been running that small little town for as long as she could remember. Yes, we conspired again you when Granny told you all about Storybrooke and the cottage that you're staying in. Yes, we kind of subtly put the idea into you head months ago when you started to not so secretly plan this trip—"

"Months? You've known that Regina was in Storybrooke for months? Are you kidding me right now?"

"Em, listen, I know you're pissed off right now because Granny and I both knew, but can we backtrack a little bit to the part where I told you I have good news?"

"What is it?"

"I'm leaving in an hour."

"Leaving to go where?"

"Storybrooke."

"Ruby, you told me you couldn't get any time off, that's what you told Henry too!"

"Another part of our plan, Em," Ruby chuckled quietly. "All I had to do was wait for you to find Regina, oh and the little fact that Granny made me find a replacement at the diner so I could come to Storybrooke for the summer. It took me a little bit longer than I hoped, but I found the perfect girl to cover my shifts until September."

"You're—"

"Coming to stay with you guys for the rest of the summer."

"Why?"

"Because I want to help you."

"With what? Regina?"

"Exactly, plus you know I miss you and Henry too much. You've been gone for four days and it feels like it's been forever!"

Emma sighed and as thrilled as she was to hear that her best friend was coming there, she was still angry at her for lying, for keeping secrets, for conspiring behind her back to get her to Storybrooke. To Regina.

"How did you figure it out?"

"You know I don't believe in coincidences, Rubes. I was out for a run and started thinking about Regina and how her being here in the same place I came to get away from my life for a little while, couldn't be a coincidence."

"You're a lot smarter than you think you are sometimes, Em."

"Obviously," she chuckled quietly. "So, how long did you think it'd take me to figure it out?"

"I honestly had no idea but I was hoping you would before the end of the week. Granny thought you might go a whole month before you figured out that it wasn't just a coincidence that you ended up taking a little vacation in the same town that Regina lives in. She's a little bit pissed she lost our bet."

"Bet? You two had a bet?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Let's just say it landed me with enough money to buy a car," Ruby said and they laughed together, Emma's anger fluttering away completely. She never could stay angry at Ruby for very long. "I'll see you tonight and Em? Don't tell Henry. I kind of want to surprise him, okay?"

Emma shook her head as she ended the call and slipped her phone back into her pocket. As crazy as it all seemed, she should've known that her best friend had been up to something. When it came to Ruby, she was always up to something, one way or another. With another shake of her head, Emma turned around and headed back down the trail, jogging slowly as she couldn't seem to wipe the smile off of her face.

If things with Regina fell apart, and she knew they likely would, at least she wouldn't have to deal with it alone. It wasn't like she could turn to Henry about this, he was still too young to understand. With Ruby there, it'd be easier to find her way through the pain of her broken heart all over again. And maybe, if she couldn't find a way to get Regina to listen to her, even just for five minutes, that just maybe she could finally find a way to let her go, to learn how to stop loving her and move on with her life.

Henry was awake and eating dry cereal in the living room when she finally got back to the cottage. Her run had left her sweaty and a little icky feeling and she pointed to the stairs and Henry just nodded, scrunching his face as she walked past him.

"Yeah, you definitely do need to shower, Mom. You stink."

"I don't stink!"

"A little bit," Henry chuckled as Emma stuck her tongue out at him. "Mom?"

"What, kid?"

"Can we go exploring later?"

"In town?"

"No, here," Henry replied and Emma nodded. "I'm going to study the map so we don't get lost."

"Okay, kid, I'll be ready in a little while. Why don't you make up some snacks for our little adventure while I shower, okay?"

Emma flashed him a smile before making the quick ascent up the stairs. She knew it'd be hard to keep the secret that Ruby was coming, but she had to because even she wanted to see that smile on his face when Ruby showed up at the cottage later that day. Ruby's impending arrival would also help her keep her mind off of Regina, at least for a few hours.

An hour later they set out to explore the property and Emma let Henry lead the way, the map he'd found clutched tightly in both hands as he marched to the same path she'd discovered on her run. He was excited, that much she could see from the way his eyes shone as he used the map to discover the trail. Before she'd taken her job at the police department, she and Henry had taken many little adventures around the city and until she saw that look of joy on his face, it made her remember how much she had missed doing things like this with her son.

Although her job was important to her, it had run her down pretty fast and not once until that moment since she left the city, had she thought about her job, her coworkers, or even the Chief, and she knew there was more than one reason as to why that was. It all came down to one person.

Regina Mills. The love of her otherwise fucking miserable life.

She had thought of her far more in the last couple of days than she had in a decade. She had thought of their memories, the good and the bad, unable to stop herself from remembering the love she had and lost in such a short span of time. She had thought of all those years she spent with that broken feeling in her heart, unable to pick up the pieces and move on, because she was a woman gripped by love and that grip never seemed to lessen no matter how much time had passed.

"Mom?"

"What, kid?"

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" He asked as he stopped on the trail just ahead of her with a knowing smirk on his face. "You get that look."

"What look?"

"You kind of look sad and happy at the same time," he replied and he frowned as Emma shook her head at him. "You're going to fix it, Mom. I know you will."

"I don't even know how I'm gonna do that, Henry."

"I know you'll figure it out. You always do, don't you?"

"You got a lot of faith in me, kid. Maybe too much. This isn't something that's gonna be easy to fix."

"I know," he said gently as he reached out for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, eliciting a small smile from her. "I know it's not easy, Mom, but aren't there some things in life worth fighting for?"

"I really gotta stop letting you watch those romantic and highly inappropriate movies with Ruby when I'm working…"

"You love her. Regina. You love her and you never stopped and you never will. Now you have to fight for her, Mom. You have to win her back."

"Henry…"

"I won't let you give up," he said as he tugged on her hand, continuing their walk down the trail. "Aren't you going to ask me why I won't?"

"Because you love me?"

"Because everyone deserves a happy ending with their one true love, Mom. Even you."

Emma felt the tears burning in her eyes. When did her son become so wise, so grown up? She ruffled his hair and let go of his hand, watching him run ahead and she quickly wiped the tears that had fallen at the words Henry had said. Regina had said something similar, about having their own happy ending together. It was a mix of what Henry said and her memories of Regina that had sparked something deep inside of her. Something that she just couldn't shake.

And then she knew exactly what she was going to do. It'd just have to wait another day or two before she figured out how exactly she was going to get the letters to Regina.