Chapter 6: Embry's reply
I go over to Embry's house next morning, when I know Ms Call has left for work. Embry's mom is such a nice woman, but this meeting has to be in private.
I haven't been over to Embry's since we were kids, but nothing much seems to have changed, at least on the outside. I think I should have been over sooner since he's such a nice guy, but then again he's always over at our house and I've been busy, not having time to make social calls.
When he comes to open the door he seems perplexed that I'm there. What if he thinks I'm intrusive? Maybe he likes his privacy, just like he keeps his thoughts to himself? I hope he doesn't object to me coming here. Besides I've made cookies!
"Are you just gonna stand there? Aren't you gonna invite me in?" I say jokingly.
"Sure, of course" He's looking at me like I'm some sort of a mirage. Maybe he just woke up?
I head towards the living-room and seat myself on the sofa.
I'm a little unsure about how to ask him. I had considered writing a speech and even practicing, but then I decided to go with the flow. That has always been my forte, to improvise and think fast. I'm not much for rehearsals, even in the school plays I mostly improvised.
"Embry, I...There is something I want to ask you, something I want to talk to you about." I begin. Not a very good start.
" I even brought cookies. Home-made! Here!" I put the cookie-jar in his hands hoping that'll distract him a little, giving me a second to think about how to phrase my next words.
He smiles a delightfully and sits next to me, looking at me with his soft sensitive eyes.
How should I begin? I search for the right words inside of me.
"Embry, I trust you." That feels like the right thing to say. And it is the truth. The reason that I trust him is the reason I want him as my sidekick.
"I can trust you, right?" Of course I know I can trust him, I just want to point out how important what I am about to say is going to be.
He nods his head solemnly, lifting his hands like he...like he...I don't know. Maybe he wanted to take a cookie?
"Listen. I'm gonna tell you something you have to keep to yourself. You can't tell anyone! No one!" I continue placing my hand on his, leaning in closer, looking him straight in the eye. I want to make sure that he understands how important this is, and I want to try to read what goes on in his mind while I tell him what I've come to say.
At my touch he tenses up. His heart is hammering erratically, his pupils dialate, and he's breathing becomes ragged. Oh no, maybe I'm scaring him off! He must worry I'm going to reveal some dirty secrets of mine, like that I secretly am a serial killer! He seems to have zoned out completely, so many emotions swimming in his eyes that I don't know what to make of any of them.
Then he shifts his eyes onto my hand on his. Jeez, maybe he doesn't like me touching him. Should I remove my hand?
"Embry." I try to get his attention back to the fact I'm going to say.
He gazes back at me with the strangest expression on his face. He almost looks sick. Maybe he is? Because I kind of think his body temperature has gone up a little. Or is it just that he really thinks I'm going to tell him something so horrible that he doesn't want to hear it?
"It's nothing bad. Don't worry. I mean, I think actually it's something that could be good for both of us." I try to reassure him. Please, please, listen to this. Please, please say yes.
"It's something that gives me purpose, and I thought you might like it as well."
Then I reveal everything in a haste, watching Embry's reactions go from astounded to apprehensive to admiring.
"You're the only one I could think of. I understand if you don't want to, but think about it at least"
I want him to be sure that this is something he wants, and not something he does just to be nice to me. But then again I also really want him to accept my offer.
"Yes Leah! Of course I want to. We'll do this together! I'll be there for you!" He promises.
I feel so happy. Things work out perfectly! I'm so lucky! I feel like jumping and squealing and kissing someone.
Instead I hug Embry tight. "Embry, you're the best!" He really is! This is going to be so great!
I think I've even underestimated Embry's wish to do this, because as I release him from my hug he is looking very emotional, tears welling up in his eyes. He must have longed for a purpose, for something important to do! And now he finally got it! He almost looks like someone in love finally getting his first kiss.
I'm so glad that I asked him, and he seems overjoyed that I thought of asking him. There is such excitement burning in his eyes! Like he wants to start hunting vampires at once.
I almost kiss his cheek, but think better of it. I'm sure Embry wouldn't appreciate it. He's usually so calm and controlled, but I've noticed how he always tenses when I touch him. I guess he really doesn't like me touching him too much and I don't want my sidekick to feel uncomfortable.
I take he just isn't the touchy-feely kind of guy anymore, which is surprising, because as a kid he wore his heart on his sleeve and he was always hugging his mom and cuddling the bunny-rabbit he owned.
I smile at the memory of little Embry holding a white lop-eared rabbit in his backyard, kissing it and telling it that it's the best bunny in the world and that he, Embry, would always love it and take care of it. Then I think of how heart-broken Embry was when the rabbit died.
Flashback
There is a commotion in the school-yard, so naturally I go there to see what's happening. Of course Jake is one of the kids involved, as usual. Nothing new there! Behind him I see Embry red-eyed, his lips trembling. Facing Jake is the ugly figure of Paul.
"Shut up, Paul or I'm going to beat you up!" Jake threatens.
"You can just make a rabbit-stew and eat tonight. That's what rabbits are for anyways!" With these words Paul turns around and stalks away.
Paul's words seem to hit Embry like a speeding bullet. Tears roll down his cheek and he starts sobbing. As Jake notices this he abandons the mission of going after Paul, instead he throws his arm around his friend, hugging him.
"What are you looking at?!" He yells at the crowd, who at his words turn away and leave.
"Don't listen to what that idiot was saying." Jake comforts Embry.
"What happened" I ask concerned. I don't want sweet little Embry crying.
"...Mr Pebbles...my bunny...." Embry's sobbing so hard I can't make the words out.
Jake comes to his assistance: "His rabbit is sick, so when Embry's mom comes home from work they're going to the vet to put it to sleep. And Paul's an idiot!"
"Paul said Mr Pebbles won't go to heaven. That rabbits don't go to heaven, that the only way to go heaven is to have a funeral, and rabbits can't have funerals. He said we should make a stew out of Mr Pebbles!" The desperation in Embry's voice is killing me. "I don't want to eat Mr Pebbles!" He cries out.
"Paul doesn't know anything! Jake's right, don't listen to Paul. Besides we're gonna have a funeral for your rabbit. We're going to bury him in our back-yard." I'm making up plans now. "My dad's an elder, he often leads funerals, so he can say something when we bury your rabbit, then the spirits are gonna guide your rabbit home. Don't worry. Come by tomorrow. I'll take care of everything."
I leave Embry with Jake. It is at times like this that I forgive Jake for every annoying thing he's ever done, because despite all his stupid jokes Jake has a heart. A kind and big heart. He's a truly good friend. I feel a little remorseful of how I always let myself get mad at Jake, I should treat him better. Sometimes I just forget that he's mother's not here anymore, and remembering her being gone makes me sad for Jake and for Becca and Ray-Ray.
I take great pride in making sure everything will be perfect for the funeral of the rabbit. My dad promises to come out and say something nice. My mom helps me bake a cake and make lemonade. I even get to borrow the good china. Seth writes a poem and I'm going to dance a traditional dance in remembrance of the rabbit. Afterwards we're going to eat cake and talk about good memories of the rabbit and how happy it will be in heaven. This will make Embry feel better, getting to share this sad day with his friends, reminiscing all the good times he had with his rabbit.
Jake, who's experienced such sorrow and grief, knowing everything about how awful it feels to loose someone you love, has made the most beautiful wooden box for the rabbit to be buried in. Billy, Jake's dad, is one of the best wood-workers on the reservation and he has been teaching Jacob. On the wooden box Jake has carved the rabbits name – it's misspelled but I don't say anything about that – and there also is a carved picture of a rabbit munching on a carrot, with angel-wings. Despite all of his faults I must say Jacob is great at the things he likes doing, and it's obvious he wants to do something nice for Embry.
I also truly believe he wants to honor the memory of the rabbit, because no matter what Jake's gonna claim I know he loved that rabbit too. Jake always has this tough-boy act going on, but it's nothing that should be taken too seriously. Even though Jake always states that he wants a Pitbull or a Doberman, I've seen how he looked longingly at the rabbit when he, Quil and Embry were taking it out for a walk. It was really adorable seeing the boys trying to walk the rabbit like it was a dog. They had a leash and everything! Jake of course told me that if it was his he would've taught it to do all kinds of cool tricks. That was probably why he got the idea of catching himself a wild rabbit and taming it. I heard from Rachel and Rebecca that Billy had told Jacob that if he was able to catch a rabbit without hurting it, he could keep it. Billy was sly like that, because I think he knew how that would go. Let's just say that Jacob spent the next two weeks in the woods getting a lot of exercise. He sure has a lot of qualities but since patience isn't one of them, he never got close enough to a rabbit to catch one. But of course, according to his own stories he would've caught dozens of them if just not his shoe-lace had come undone in the exact wrong moment, or if not a bear had appeared making Jake have to wrestle it. Yeah right!
The ceremony goes well. Embry has written the sweetest letter to his dead rabbit-friend. Hearing him read it brings tears to my eyes. Seth's poem is funny and cute. My dad leads us in an old Quileute-prayer, but most of all I'm impressed with the words Jake says and his solemn attitude. His words are sincere and heartfelt, so unlike the typical things that come out of his big mouth. I actually cry hearing him speak. The way Jacob behaves during the ceremony makes me realize that he truly is the son of Billy Black, our leader on the reservation, and not just the most annoying kid on the planet.
After we've eaten of the cake,Jake, Quil and Seth start playing soccer. I'm thinking about joining in, but seeing the lost look on Embry's face, I decide to stay with him. I put my arms around Embry who starts crying against my shoulder, hugging me. I'm trying my best to comfort him, petting his hair, telling him that his rabbit is happy now in heaven playing with his rabbit-friends. We stay like this for a long time, and Embry has just started to calm down, when I see Jake marching towards us with an angry scowl on his face. I've already seen him looking pissed while playing, glaring at me and Embry ever so often. Maybe he's mad that Quil and Seth scored a goal? I know Jake hates loosing, but why it would be my or Embry's fault I don't understand.
When Jake reaches us he throws the ball in the back of Embry's head hitting him hard. Embry turns around letting go of me with a confused look on his tear-stained face.
"Come and play!" Jake barks.
Embry is swallowing hard trying to wipe away his tears.
"Go away!" I snarl back. Why is he suddenly acting insensitive again? Just because he's bored or loosing the game or whatever.
Seeing Embry's face, Jake's expression turns from menacing to regretful. Furrows form on his face, and the next second he's squeezing himself on to the porch between me and Embry, practically ending up sitting in my lap. Does he have to sit between us?! Doesn't he see that there is plenty of room on the other side of Embry?
"It will feel better after a while. Laughing and having fun will make you forget how it hurts." After saying this Jake falls into deep thought, probably trying to think about something funny he can say to Embry in order to cheer him up. Then he chuckles:
"Were you trying to feel Leah's boobs, pretending to be sad?"
WHAT? I can't believe my ears!
"No!" Embry lets out a horrified gasp.
"You JERK!" I yell to Jacob, pushing him down the porch. "I HATE you! Not everybody is a pervert like you! Embry is a sweetheart. He would never do anything like that!" I've just gotten my first training bra, and I feel very self-conscious about my body. Jake's words make me cringe.
.
"Aw, come on Leah! It was a funny thing to say! Right Embry? Look, it already made him feel better. He stopped crying!"Jake's laughing. That boy has no shame! Is this his idea of a joke?
"It was NOT funny! You're an idiot! Tell him Embry!"
"It was funny! Right Embry?!"
Embry is trying to avoid looking at either one of us. He is mumbling something incoherent, eyes jumping from me to Jake and then back.
"Embry! Would you ever say something like that to anyone!"
Embry shakes his head looking a little afraid.
"Ha! There you see Jacob Black! You are a pervert and Embry is a gentleman. A much better man than you'll ever be!"
This makes Jake narrow his eyes angrily.
"Embry's not a man! He's a cry-baby, acting like a little girl all the time!"
I can't believe him! Is this the same Jake who defended Embry against Paul, comforted him and said all those beautiful things at the burial?!!
At Jake's words Embry looks hurt, but even more so he looks ashamed of himself. He takes off running indoors, hiding his head in the crook of his arm. I'm about to follow him when Jacob continues: "Are you gonna run after your boyfriend and make out with him?" Then he's making kissing noises."Leah and Embry sitting in a tree. K-I-S..."
Now I forget every resolution I've made of being a little nicer towards Jacob Black. I don't even care that he's the brother of two of my best friends or the son of an elder. I'm gonna send him to the hospital ward! I'm gonna make him cry!
I let out a horrifying war-cry and rush after the now running Jacob. He is howling with laughter, jumping over one of the lawn-chairs. Is this his idea of fun? Is everything a joke to Jacob? I reach the back of his shirt and tug hard, making both of us fall on the garden-table. I hear a crashing. There goes the good china! I'm covered with cream and cake and Jacob is shoving more of it in my face as we tumble down on the lawn. I scream with frustration. I jump up looking down at my best dress that is completely stained.
"Food fight!" Jake yells, sending Quil and Seth running towards us ready to join in.
As he stands up I give him the hardest slap I can muster, hoping he'll get tears in his eyes and some sense into his thick skull, but NO! Instead he has the nerve to be smiling even wider, like I've just told him that he's the greatest person on this planet, which by the way probably is what he thinks of himself.
I HATE Jacob Black!
"I love it when your mad Leah! It makes you look like your on fire!" Jake is stepping closer to me, his hand behind his back. As I ready myself for punching, pushing or kicking him, he throws the entire pitcher of lemonade in my face."And that will put the fire out!" He laughs so hard he can't even stand up.
Stupid, stupid, Jacob Black!
I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!
He ruins everything!
End of flashback
Remembering this last part I'm relieved that Jake will never know anything about our mine and Embry's upcoming missions. Sure Jacob has a lot of good qualities, and he has matured...a little that is....and of course I don't hate him. In fact I'm grateful for him letting me be a part of his pack. He is a good leader...most of the time at least. And we have some sort of a friendship going on, but would he know of my extended protecting-missions I'm positive he would turn them into action-packed Jake-shows involving a lot of immature joking and stupid behavior. He would probably be starting brawls just for the fun of it, and forgetting all about the victims we should be helping.
I spend the entire day over at Embry's munching on the cookies I've made, just hanging around. It feels nice and comfortable, and I tell Embry about my previous excursions into Seattle and about what I've encountered on them. Embry's such a good listener that I soon feel that I could actually tell him everything that is on my mind and maybe even what's in my heart.
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AN: Thank you so much for reviewing! Your reviews make me want to continue writing!
I'm considering making next chapter Embry's POV.
